Chapter 3- Gutbucket

Enteico groaned as his cross-eyed vision slowly began to settle back to normal. Taking in his surroundings, he saw the familiar wind chime hanging above his shop door and instantly recognized where he had awoken.

Keith was seated by the counter next to the store vault, where they kept all their merchandise. It would have once been a mess, full of various valuables and artifacts.

Sadly, after Psoli and his brother opened up a rival shop that made a lot more profit than Enteico’s, due to their addition of a blacksmith service run by Psoli’s brother, it was always either empty or filled with junk.

“You finally woke up.”

Keith walked over and handed Enteico a mug of some medicinal drink. Enteico looked at the mug skeptically, raising an eyebrow as Keith set it down on top of a coaster and placed it next to Enteico.

“I didn’t put anything into it this time. Raider’s honor.” Keith said, making a sign with his fingers.

Enteico winced as his hands felt too heavy to move. “How long was I out?”

“A few hours. Sure took your time there, princess, though I do suppose that’s my fault.”

Enteico looked at Keith and watched him shrug. "Don't blame me; I had to do something before I needed to pay for your funeral. I'm already pretty short on cash. I made sure the chokehold would knock you out ASAP."

“Thanks, I guess. You probably could’ve handled it in a better way, preferably without choking me out.” Enteico said.

“I could’ve handled it better?” Keith said, folding his arms.

"Fair enough," said Enteico.

Enteico lifted his numb right arm to move away from the covers of his bed and take the mug of water next to him but was surprised at what he was holding.

“Keith, why is this sword still in my hands?”

“Oh right, that thing. Well, you wouldn’t let go of it even after you were knocked out. Even after I kicked you in the face.” Keith said.

“Is that why I feel like Yurgen played twister on my face?” Enteico asked.

“I’m very alarmed by the fact that you would even have an estimate of what that feels like.” Keith walked past Enteico, cracking open a window making a rush of smells enter their shop with freshly baked pastries being among them and sending tremors down the stomachs of the two men.

Enteico looked at the sword in his hand, but for some reason, he could not put it down.

No, he literally could not put the sword down.

He observed if there was any binding connection between him and the sword, but found none. Yet for some reason, it was almost as if his brain refused to let his arm drop the sword.

“GET OFF! COME ON!” Enteico yelled, flailing around with his hand clenched around the sword.

“Woah, Woah. Cool it there, Rip-off Scissorhands.” Keith said, moving out of the way.

Enteico glared at his friend as he scratched his head apologetically.

“Look, just try concentrating and maybe it’ll…detach? I don’t know, I’m out of ideas.” Keith said. Enteico steadied his breathing and focused on getting rid of the sword but to no avail.

"I can't believe I've never noticed this before, but the wrinkles on your forehead look like a delirious chimpanzee when you strain them," Keith said, tapping his chin.

“For five minutes. Could you not be yourself…” Enteico muttered.

Enteico raised his arm attached with the sword as Keith gulped and prepared to book it.

“FOR FIVE MINUTES?!”

He hurled the sword at Keith as it narrowly missed his head, taking off some of his frosty white hair as it flew out the window.

Enteico looked at Keith in annoyance and then joined in his laughter as he realized he had finally gotten rid of the cursed sword.

The two of them were about to high-five in celebration…

When suddenly, the sword re-materialized in Enteico’s hand mid-high-five.

Enteico yelled in shock as Keith groaned in frustration, clearly annoyed by the unexpected distraction from working on his new Moon Juice formula.

Enteico kept throwing the sword outside the window; over and over again until eventually, he heard a cat shriek outside. Keith rushed to the window to check if the animal had gotten hurt.

"Oh it's fine, it's just a guy dressed up as a cat," Keith said, walking back with a smile on his face.

Enteico sighed. “Got any more ideas?”

Keith tapped his chin again. “As a matter of fact, I do. Give me a moment.” He said walking to the vault and rummaging around for something as Enteico waited eagerly to get separated from the sword. He was so lucky to have a good friend like Keith who was so willing to go above and beyond for their friendship.

Keith emerged from the vault holding a deadly battle axe with a blade that made Enteico squint from the sunlight being reflected in it.

“Hey, Keith? What uhh…exactly is this idea you got?” Enteico asked nervously.

"Oh, it's quite simple really. I'm going to chop off your arm."

Enteico laughed; sweat cartoonishly dripping off his forehead. “I think you’re kind of missing something important. Like the part where I would be missing something important. Maybe, for example…I dunno perhaps an arm?!”

“Pssht it’s fine, you have one more of those. Now, hold still so I can…” Keith said, driving the axe with a thunk into the wood where Enteico’s hand was merely a few seconds ago.

“KEITH, WHAT THE HELL?!” Enteico yelled, moving desperately away from him.

"Don't be such a little baby about it. It's not even that great of a sword, to begin with, so I'm doing you a favor. That sword is probably the worst thing to get bound to you from that dungeon. It’s probably a common item worth less than 10 bitma, maybe 15 at best.” Keith said, slowly advancing closer to Enteico.

“Wait, Keith. What did you just say?” Enteico asked.

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that trick again," Keith said, raising his arms above his head.

“No, no. Seriously, what was the most valuable item from that dungeon that we saw?” Enteico asked, a smile breaking onto his face.

“Well, obviously Psoli’s new Villain Vanquisher sword.”

Enteico made a face. “That’s what he calls it?”

Keith shrugged. “I know, right? Nowhere near as cool as a name like The Butthole Basher.”

Enteico simply shook his head as Keith laughed at his own joke, before clearing his throat abruptly.

“Like I was saying, Psoli’s sword was a boss drop. But the dungeon did not require you to kill her to beat the dungeon.” Enteico said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Which means…” Keith said, slowly.

Enteico took out his Pokia with one hand and scanned the sword. “Which means that the most powerful weapon in that dungeon was never going to be something you got by being aggressive.”

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Keith shook his head. “Yeah, I’m still not following. And my stupidity levels are not that high today. Well, not higher than usual.”

Enteico showed the screen to Keith. “The riddle.”

It suddenly clicked inside Keith’s head as he saw the stats of the weapon on the screen. “Compassion will subdue the beast you cannot fight.”

“We were never supposed to kill her in the first place, so the most powerful weapon…” Enteico said.

“…was never going to be an item drop, but something the wolf would let us take.” Finished Keith.

Enteico looked at the screen of his Pokia, still in disbelief that they had managed to snag a mythical weapon. Sure, they couldn’t really sell it or do much with it, unless Enteico wanted one hell of a back scratcher, but the fact that they had obtained it right under Psoli’s nose was the first step.

The thing is, Enteico had no idea what it was.

Before his very eyes, the attack stats of the sword began to change, fluctuating between normal and raid-breaking levels, before the numbers turned into unintelligible garbled blocks and lines.

Enteico wondered if his Pokia was broken. There was one time he scanned Keith and his Pokia had shown him that Keith’s level was 59, before the scanned figure had reverted back to level 32. He probably needed to get a new one.

“So, you’re telling me this rusty dildo is a mythical weapon?” Keith asked.

"Not exactly the description I would use, but yes," Enteico said.

"Well then, we are definitely cutting off your arm now," Keith said, lifting his axe once more, a devious grin spreading across his face.

The sword in Enteico’s hand seemed to pulse with energy, distorting and glitching until it transformed into a shield.

The two men stood in silence as they both stared at the new weapon in Enteico’s hand.

“Since when have you been taking magic classes?” Keith asked, putting his axe down, keenly observing Enteico move the shield around in his hands.

“Who goes to magic classes?” Enteico asked.

“Hey! People go to those and they’re actually really fun. From what I’ve heard. From a friend.” Keith said.

“You have friends?” Enteico asked.

"More than you do," Keith said.

Enteico was about to spout a comeback, but there was a loud noise outside and a gathering of people near Psoli’s brother’s shop. Keith jumped out the window and landed on his feet, sprinting towards the commotion.

Enteico sighed and simply opened the door next to it, locking it behind him before joining Keith.

“Do you honestly think you can best my brother, the best blacksmith in all of Spiti?” Psoli said, his hand resting atop the Villain Vanquisher next to his Platoon, excluding Liliana due to…circumstances.

The stranger, who was tall and decently built, rustled through his blond hair and pointed his finger at Psoli’s brother.

“Try me. If I win, I get your shop and all your money.” He said confidently.

“A hostile takeover? I’ll show you what happens when thug like you…” Psoli said, only to be stopped by his brother, Forge.

Forge had a smug grin on his face as he laughed and accepted the stranger's challenge. "Do tell me, exactly what happens if you lose?”

“My name is Felix and by the fire in my gutbucket, I will NOT LOSE!” the man announced with confidence.

"Quite the drama queen, isn't he?" Keith said as Enteico suppressed a laugh.

“Very well, let us begin then. The trial will be based on the quality of our weapons. Two hours to build a weapon that will be judged by the platoon of warriors before us.” Forge said, a smirk appearing on his face from the fact that the judges were biased towards his side.

Felix clicked his tongue. Two hours was a challenge, though with his skills…

"Challenge terms accepted," Felix said.

Forge went behind his station and prepared to start when Felix joined him.

“What are you doing?” Forge asked him.

“I’m taking one of your anvils to work on my weapon.”

The crowd laughed as Forge shook his head. "In this challenge, you need your own station. I'm not a very generous opponent to just give you one of mine."

“But I don’t have…” Felix stammered as he began to realize just how shorthanded he was in this battle.

To be quite honest, it was stupefying that he didn’t realize that sooner.

“Of course, you have the option of letting someone else help you with your predicament.” Forge said, heating a few ingots by placing them into a charcoal forge.

Felix looked all around for someone to help him, but no one wanted to stand up against the skills of Forge, who had now begun hammering the metal to form a rough shape of the blade, before dipping it in heat-treatment oil.

Meanwhile, he had smaller pieces of metal to be shaped into the guard and pommel on standby.

Felix, on the other hand, hadn’t even started yet. He tried to look for something to use as a station or help him make his weapon but to no avail.

Until he saw the Moonlighter shop.

“Who runs that shop?” Felix asked turning around to see if anyone would answer.

The crowd parted almost as if controlled by a hive-mind to show Enteico and Keith, who despite their best efforts, was being pushed out by the crowd they were trying to hide behind.

Forge resumed his work, beveling the blade until it was satisfactory and then he began work on the guard and the pommel. He was almost finished with his blade.

Felix desperately pleaded for Enteico and Keith to help. While Keith was fine with letting Felix lose, just like the rest of the crowd, his jaw nearly dropped to the floor when he saw Enteico come out of the shop with an anvil, coal, and all sorts of tools for Felix.

Felix cracked his knuckles and finally began working on his weapon. Forge chuckled as he looked at the timer set up on his Pokia. They were halfway done.

Little did everyone know that so was Forge.

He presented the finished blade in front of the crowd and they all clapped and marveled at the skill of Forge holding his new weapon in his hands.

Before he drove a large axe into the core of the blade, shattering it.

Everyone in the crowd gasped and Felix was stunned by the master blacksmith’s actions.

Forge then laughed and took the pieces of the blade, wrapped them together in a material, placing straw before covering it with charcoal in the forge.

Felix was nervous. He watched as Forge pulled the metal out and hammered it over and over again, folding it on itself and repeating the process.

"Hey, focus on your weapon, not his," Keith said, annoyed.

Enteico said some words of encouragement, but Felix didn’t register them. Forge was attempting an ancient technique in blacksmithing called Reforge. In theory, it was a trade-off to get better weapons out of used and worn-down weapons.

In reality, it was a nightmarish cycle of breaking down a perfect weapon to take a chance to gain something that might be better. Reforge was a blacksmith's strongest skill and their worst enemy.

Countless people had been driven to madness, gambling on their skill, taking near-perfect weapons of immense power and losing them due to a single miscalculation, unable to recover their masterpiece.

Felix had finished up his weapon as Forge finished his, the crowd eager to see the demonstration of the two weapons.

Forge went first. Stepping up to the test dummy Psoli had brought out, he slashed the dummy in one single strike, the blade cutting through it like butter. The crowd watched as not only the dummy, but the two trees behind it toppled over and fell, sending a cloud of dust through the town square.

The crowd erupted into applause as Forge cleaned the blade and hung it on his weapon display rack adjacent to Psoli’s previous golden great-sword.

Felix stepped up to his dummy and held a simple pommel, with no obvious edge to it. Or any blade attached to it.

The crowd booed and jeered at Felix, confident that Forge had won.

There was a slight clicking sound as if a mechanism had been set off inside the pommel. A long blade ejected from either side of the pommel, before a chain blade wrapped around a spiked knuckle duster propelled forward, both blades covered with razor-sharp spikes that rotated, virtually making them into a chainsaw.

Another mechanism went off, setting the blades on fire.

The entire crowd was stunned, while Forge looked as if his spirit had left his body.

Felix grinned, victory rumbling his gutbucket. Or perhaps it was hunger.

He raised the weapon to strike the dummy.

But when it made contact, the blades broke off from the pommel, sending one of them flying towards Keith, who got his second shave of the day. Keith felt the awkwardly cut strands of hair and glared so hard at Felix, he could actually feel a vein popping in his forehead.

Forge laughed and approached Felix. “As agreed, I win. Therefore, I expect my payment as soon as possible.”

Felix was taken aback. “But technically, we never came to any agreement as to the terms of my defeat.”

Forge smiled. “Oh, you aren’t getting off that easy. Since the terms of my loss were that I would surrender my shop to you, I think it’s fair that you should hand over an equal value of assets to us since you lost.”

“But I don’t have any money.” Said Felix, awkwardly.

The crowd booed once more, but Forge came to a proposition.

“Well, you and your employers are responsible for the debt altogether. So they could pay it for you.” Forge said, devious intent hidden behind his smile.

Felix let out a sigh of relief. “Good, so they can help me. How much do we have to pay you?”

Enteico braced himself. Aside from the fact that they had no money whatsoever, another pile of debt would send him out of business. Forge pretended to do some calculations mentally and then seemed satisfied with his price.

“Two. Million. Bitma.”

________________________________________________________________

“There is no way in the deepest, darkest and most moist corners of hell that we are going to help you with this! This is your screw-up, not ours!” Keith yelled.

“I would have been able to win that stupid duel if I didn’t have rusty and worn down equipment from you degenerates!” Felix said, glaring back at Keith.

“The only things rusty and worn down aside from your ability to perform as a blacksmith would be your ability to perform in the bedroom! Oh, wait I forgot, that’s presuming that you’ve had any, considering a child could make a toy sword out of clay better than you could!” Keith said, losing his composure.

"Woah, Woah, Keith. Easy there, bud. How about you get back to making some more Moonjuice and I’ll handle this.” Enteico said, slowly pushing Keith out of the room.

“You made Enteico the sane person in this conversation! Enteico! That's how bad things have gotten, you blonde-haired bi…"

Keith never got to finish as Enteico shut the door on him and sighed.

“I’m Enteico. I’ll be your non-screaming employer during the day. The other more…enthusiastic employer is Keith. He’s a good guy, once you get to know him. If you can survive getting to know him, that is.” Enteico said, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Well, you guys can take care of the debt. I’ll be on my way then.” Felix said, about to leave the store.

“Wait. Look, you can help us out here and vice versa. Psoli can track you down no matter where you go, especially if it’s a debt to his brother. If you stick with us, we can let you stay with us and you can get some money to do…whatever it is you want to do.” Enteico said.

“Right. Not interested. I can handle myself.”

“If you’re sure you can take that chance, by all means, you’re free to leave.”

Felix paused for a second and then clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“I’ll stick around. The moment I want to though, I leave. I’ve got better things to do. You see, I come…” Felix began.

"Actually, we don't really need to know your backstory or anything. No offense, it's just we have a policy against that here. They kinda make Keith nauseous.” Enteico said.

“DAMN STRAIGHT!” yelled Keith from the opposite side of the door.

“Right. Well, I’m going to head out for a bit, get a little familiar with the city and such. I’ll show up tomorrow morning.” Felix said, leaving the shop and waving without looking behind him.

Keith entered the room once again. “Please do not tell me you just let him leave.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. He’ll be back, just like he said. Right?”