The Ascension celebrations continued late into the night. As the dragon pyre burned down to embers at the center of the valley, the people of Faltara danced and drank and feasted. The pain of the sacrifice still lingered in Malik’s spirit, despite the joy surrounding him.
Not the dragon egg, so much as the climb itself. Petyr and his brother and uncle, and all the other Faltari youths over the years.
“Come on!” Yuri shouted, pulling him into a circle of dancers. Malik’s hand was suddenly pressed into the palm of a Feathered Serpent girl two years his junior. “Have fun like the old days, Malik!”
The girl’s fingers were slender and warm, and her smile shone bright in the colored torchlight. Her cheeks turned red, but she held his gaze and smiled. Long blonde braids were tied behind her head with blue ribbons.
The dancing circle shifted directions, and the girl tugged him along after her.
Yuri clasped his other hand, stumbling, because his gaze was so fixed on the girl behind him. The dance shifted again, and they all broke out into partners.
Malik had never been a great dancer. After a couple foolhardy moves, his partner pulled him close and whispered, “Just follow my lead, shaman. Okay?”
Not shaman’s son, Malik thought absently.
The girl shifted, soft hands pressing against his own, turning his hips and his feet followed. The two of them broke apart, and she twirled, the feathers of her blue dress flashing in resplendent colors, and then, she was back. And Malik felt warm all over.
Have fun like the old days!
He knew Yuri was right. Three years ago, they’d danced till sunrise. Malik’s moves had been no better, but he hadn’t cared. It had been fun, and that was all that mattered. That night, Malik had kissed a girl for the first time—a spritely Saber girl—and Yuri had found out the hard way that Riese was not into him at all. Or any other boy.
Yuri was howling with laughter nearby. Malik guessed he’d had half a dozen ales by now, and even for a husky young man, Malik guessed he’d be collapsed at the edge of the ring any minute.
Riese danced with a young Dragyr woman who’d Ascended last year. She had uncharacteristically dark hair and icy blue eyes.
The Feathered Serpent girl guided Malik through the remainder of the song, then, the music picked up, and everyone began alternating partners, locking arms briefly and twirling, then, carrying on around the circle. Malik always had a hard time keeping up with the constant transitions of these types of dances. Everyone seemed to know when to pause or twirl or spin their partner or change partners, and he found himself freezing up.
He exchanged a couple awkward dances before partnering with Riese momentarily. She winked at him.
“She’s cute,” said Riese, pulling him toward her. She shifted their arms over his head and slid them back out again, ending with a clap, before drawing close again.
Malik shrugged, fighting a blush. “Yours too.”
Riese glanced away, and Malik sensed a shift in her spirit, though she remained smiling.
They stepped back, then pressed together, and Riese whispered in his ear. “Enjoy yourself, shaman. After the past two years, you deserve it.”
Partners shifted again, and the Feathered Serpent girl was back.
At last the music slowed, and the girl drew closer. Malik could feel the warmth of her presence and her resonance was even stronger.
The top of her head barely reached his chin, despite Malik’s altogether average height. Her full cheeks were ruddy, blonde braids damp at her temples, and her chest heaved from the exertion. She smiled up at him.
“You dance alright,” she said, still leading the slow dance. “But I think you’re a better climber.”
Malik blushed. “I don’t know about that.”
“It was brave what you did, Malik,” she insisted, as though she’d watched it.
“Er, thanks, uh…” Malik realized he’d never asked her name.
“Syrese,” she said. “We met at the festival three years ago.”
“Oh, right,” said Malik, not remembering. “I, er, thought you looked familiar.”
“You were a bit distracted that night,” she said with a wink. “And I was still a kid, then. I didn’t expect you to remember me.”
Sometimes Malik hated how small the island was.
Syrese pulled close, then pushed away and spun left, then right, and he followed her movements, before settling in together again.
“Well, you’re no kid now,” he said, instantly wishing he would have thought of something better.
“Thanks,” Syrese whispered, pressing close again. Her cheek nestled into his chest. “I think you’re brave, risking your life that way. After the past two… well, no one would have blamed you, if you’d just looked out for yourself. My mum says that’s the mark of a good shaman.”
Malik drew back a little.
“What?” she asked.
The others danced around them, but Malik had seized up.
“Sorry, I just don’t wanna to talk about all that.”
“You can’t ignore the darkness, right?” she recited. “We move through it together.” Syrese interlaced her fingers with his.
Malik pulled back, creating space between them.
“What’s wrong?” Her bottom lip trembled.
“I just don’t want to talk about the Ascent, Syrese.”
“Is it me?”
“Er, what?”
“I might not be some wild huntress like Riese Torendeil, but…”
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Malik rolled his eyes. “It’s not that, and besides, Riese—”
Syrese’s hands were at her hips. “Then what? I’m not pretty enough for you?”
“No,” Malik said, bewildered. “I’m sorry. You’re very cute, I just—”
“Cute? I’m not a bloody child, shaman!”
“Pretty sure I just—”
“Just too young for a brand new Ascended, am I?”
“Gods,” Malik said. “You’re very pretty, is what I meant.”
A tear streamed down the girl’s cheek, and then, as though catching herself just before hysterics, her face contorted, lips pursing angrily. Syrese stepped forward and shoved him in the chest.
Malik stumbled back, nearly tripping over a dancing couple. “Look, maybe, we should just…”
“You have no idea how lucky you almost were, shaman!”
With that, Syrese stormed away, leaving Malik alone, couples twirling around him. Nearby, Yuri shook his head, a gaping laugh on his face.
Malik hurried from the dance circle, weaved his way amidst the torch-lined lanes, past tents spilling dream smoke, past a group of laughing old men gathered drunkenly round a small barrel of imported szaka.
He reached the edge of the festival and kept going, until the grass grew long, and Malik was wading through it thigh-high. He reached the top of a hill, and took a seat beneath a broad-limbed socha tree. From here, the Spires loomed at the edge of the valley. He could see the entire festival to his right, and to his left, the vast rim of mountains that formed the spine of the island, extending all the way to the glaciers of the north.
Nothing could match the view from the top of the Spires, but this was one of his favorite places on the island, looking out on the whole valley.
Red leaves were just beginning to fall from the trees, and as he sat, a few drifted out over the valley, slipping from the fingers of the long and twisting limbs. Malik turned from the festivities, and gazed up at the stars, swirls of light brushing across the indigo skies like dyes.
Women remained an utter mystery to him. Malik could only sit and marvel at how quickly his encounter with Syrese had turned from flirting to utter floundering. How instantly he’d felt like the girl was suffocating him, pulling him into the maelstrom of a writhing past and an inevitable future.
“Well, that went well.”
Malik turned to find Riese cresting the hill toward him. The shaved side of her head was painted with the claw marks of the Jackal clan, and her face had been dusted with a cosmetic that made her pale skin shimmer. She shook her head and chuckled as she neared.
“I believe I told you to enjoy yourself.”
Malik shrugged. “Who says I’m not?”
“Heh, fair enough,” said Riese. “Can I sit? Or are you enjoying yourself by yourself?”
“You could phrase that better.”
Riese grinned. “If I wanted to…”
He rolled his eyes.
“Okay, fine,” she said. “Would you rather be alone, Malik?”
“No, you can—”
But Riese was already plopping down in the grass beside him. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Syrese?” Malik said with a laugh. “No.”
“And the reason for you running away from a cute girl who was very much into you?”
“Cute, that was the whole problem. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. What about your dancing partner?” Malik asked.
Riese shrugged and turned to him, holding his gaze. “You’re still one of my best friends, Malik. Even now that you’re shaman. I hope you know that.”
“I do.”
“Yuri feels the same way, even though he’d just make it some joke. We’ve missed you.”
“I’m not a hunter anymore,” said Malik. “Not even part of the clan any—”
“Things change. That’s life. Doesn’t mean they can’t change together.”
Malik nodded. Words only meant so much. The reality was that Malik would serve all the clans. He wasn’t a Jackal anymore. Riese would be a hunter for the clan, like Malik had planned to be. Yuri would build longhouses for the Jackals and tend crops. And sure, Malik would be around. He’d preside over their weddings, bless their children, tend their fallen kin, but he would be set apar. His father had no real friends besides his mother.
And why couldn’t Derrin have just bloody stayed alive? he thought bitterly.
They sat in silence for several minutes. But with friends like Riese, it was comfortable.
“I’ve hardly slept all week,” Riese said eventually. He looked over. Here alone, she’d quit smiling, quit putting on a front. She looked exhausted.
“Really?” Malik asked. “The climb? The wights?”
“Yeah…” she said. “Must be…”
Riese never finished her thought, and the silence stretched on again.
“I haven’t slept much either,” Malik said. “It’s not just Petyr. I mean, I’m sorry he died. But I didn’t know him that well, and deep down, I know there’s nothing more I could have done.”
“Then… what is it?” Riese asked.
“It’s… everything. Becoming shaman, my brother, my father, this damn island.”
Riese chuckled. “You ran away from Syrese because of your father and the damn island?”
Malik sighed. “I feel trapped. Like I’m still up there in that storm huddled against the wind, waiting for everything to let up, but it won’t. This is my life now. Funerals and ceremonies and tending spirits. And… it’s not me, Riese. You know it’s not.”
Riese scooted closer, placed her arm on his shoulder. Then, punched him.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Come on, Malik. You think I don’t know what all that feels like? To have to pretend to be something I’m not?”
“That wasn’t—”
“Of course it wasn’t what you meant. Because you didn’t even think about that. My parents don’t know who I really am. They think Lysa is just a friend from another clan. And even if they did know, it wouldn’t matter. Do know what they were doing while you were off tending spirits?”
Malik shook his head, a sinking feeling in his gut.
“Introducing me to my match,” Riese said.
“Oh… er, who is it?”
“Vinder Perinsein. Ascended last year.”
“I know him. From Kendryk’s village. Good hunter, I hear. They didn’t ask for your input at all?”
“Sure, they did. What was I supposed to say, Malik? Vinder’s a fine hunter. A good man. And I’m meant to carry on the damn bloodline. Bear kids, preserve the ways of the island.
Malik looked into her eyes and shook his head. “I… I’m sorry, Riese. I didn’t…”
Riese laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. “You’re not the only one who feels trapped, Malik. I knew this was coming, and I just… couldn’t say anything. Not to my father. And you know what, maybe I don’t know what I want, okay? Me and Lisa had fun, but it’s never been anything outside the festivals…. I wish I didn’t have to figure it out already. We just bloody came of age. And ever since we got back… I don’t know…”
“Yeah…”
“When I was up on top of the Spires, looking out at the world beyond, all I could think was how I wished I could sail away from this place. And when I cast my egg into the fire… I felt like I was throwing away that chance for good.”
Malik glanced away from her, feeling ashamed at his self-absorption the past few days. The past two years. “I’ve felt the same way.”
“I know,” said Riese softly.
“Is that why you came up here?”
“I came to be with my friend,” Riese said, her head still on his shoulder. Malik wrapped his arm around her, and they sat like that for a long time. The music began to quieten in the valley below.
For a moment, Malik envisioned them running away on uhmskara just like his father. Sailing to Beirus or Valgland, maybe even Attica. Seeing for themselves why their ancestors had chosen to remain on the island while all the other peoples who passed through the Gate of the Ancients during the Crossing had sailed off and formed new civilizations, new nations, and forgot all about where they’d come from.
And why shouldn’t they go on a Wandering?
Malik’s father still had many years to serve their people. Surel wouldn’t Ascend for another three years.
Maybe the island would need him one day. But not now.
A cold wind rose up from the valley below, and both of them shivered, neither wearing their fur winter cloaks. It had been a warm evening, but autumn could be deceptive, especially in the Kalengal peaks.
Malik glanced at Riese. She was not watching the festival, but gazing up at the Spires.
Tomorrow, they would venture out of the valley, all of them gathering at the base of the Kalengal Mountains, in the coastal village of Yerida, for the Festival of the Fading Sun, a couple days of trading ad feasting before the clans went their separate ways for another long winter.
“We should go back, shouldn’t we?” Riese said.
Malik nodded, though he didn’t want to. Silently, they strode down the hill back to the encampment. Most of their people had turned in, or were gathered around dwindling fires.
“You know,” said Riese. “Usually I’m glad to leave by the end of the festival. Tired of the cold nights and the threat of jackals, and sabers. Excited to see the traders and feel the warm air again. But right now, I wish we had a few more days. I wish…”
Again, that hitch in her spirit. Something she wanted to say. Something she was—
“Malik, there you are!”
He turned to find Surel bounding toward him, her dark grey dress fluttering behind her. Her lips formed a strange grin.
“Father’s been looking for you for hours!” she said, giggling. “He’s not very happy, and when he hears you were running off with Riese when you had duties to—”
“What duties?” said Malik.