I jolt up in my bed with a scream stuck in my throat. Sweat drips down my face and my hair is sticky to the touch. I try to take deep breaths, but they sound like the gasps of one who is struggling for air. I wait a couple of minutes panting and try to slow my racing heartbeat. Tears have been streaming down my face and I grab my pillow to wipe my face off.

  After my pillow is stained with leftover makeup, I grab my cell phone and turn on the screen. 3:14. I take a loud sigh of annoyance and throw the phone on my bed. I walk over to my closet and grab my red sweatshirt with a logo that has seen better days. There’s no way I’m going back to sleep now, not after one of my night terrors. I grab my tennis shoes, slide them on and go over to the other side of my room. My chocolate lab looks up at me with warm brown eyes whining slightly as I bend down to pet her head, “Quiet Izzy, I’ll be back.” I open the window and reach for the tree branch outside.

  I slowly creep onto the roof and grasp the branch for dear life. I look over the city of Logan, Utah with the Logan temple shining in the distance and car lights crawl across the wide landscape. I crawl across the roof, painfully aware of the dampness and slickness of our roof from last night’s rain, until I get to a more stable part of the tree. I slowly climb down our old oak tree until I reach the grass down below. I can’t use the front door unless I want my mom to know that I’m sneaking out. I breathe in the crisp cool air and I start to walk down the street.

  Trees sway in the gentle breeze as I pass by and leaves crunch beneath my feet. The sky is still dark, but I see the stars glitter and the moon shining bright. I keep walking, wanting the peace of the world to overcome me and make me forget what has happened before.

  After a couple of minutes, I reach a little park with a red slide and two old blue swings. A field of fresh green grass is outside the playground, one that has so many memories. I silently recall days of me and my dad running around this field, full of laughter and playful shrieks. My mom would come join us sometimes or just watch us play from the bench. I walk across the damp tambark and sit on one of the old swings. It squeaks softly as I sit back into the faded blue seat.

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I remember, there was one day where I was in this field, so excited to spend some time with my dad. He had gotten me a brand new red kite and I squealed in delight as he threw it up into the air. It flew carefree into the bright blue sky, never wanting to come back down. I remember his low, throaty laugh when I would jump around like a little bird, pretending I could fly. I still have the little red kite, hidden in my closet.

  My smile fell as I looked away from the field. Not all memories were happy about this field. It was a fall day and the wind was a little chilly. The red kite was kept tightly in my grasp as I eagerly awaited in this field. My dad told me that he would fly my kite with me that day, but for whatever reason, he never did. We never saw him again.

  I sighed and looked down at the ground. Life became so complicated ever since he left. A chill sneaks into my sweater and I shiver, I need to get back if I don’t want Mom to find me gone. I get up and look to the sky. It’s grown to a shade of purple with dawn pulling at its edges.

  My tennis shoes softly squelch on the damp pavement as I jog back home. I can see my breath as I try to quickly run home. Despite having sweat run down my back, I feel more peace and my mind has been able to put off the night terror, at least for a little bit. These terrors happen often, but I try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. Even briefly thinking about it makes my wrist smart. I stop panting and look at my right wrist. I know a red scar is hidden underneath the sleeve of my sweater, a scar that no one knows the origins to. My mom thinks that it’s just a birthmark, but my dad used to tell me that when I was a little girl, I reached up and grabbed a star so the night would always stay with me. It’s silly to think of now, but that’s what I loved about my dad.

  I reach our lawn and quietly scale up the tree, I look at the driveway and still see the car in the driveway. Good, Brent hasn’t left yet. I slowly crawl back across the roof and into my bedroom, all to the great delight of my puppy. Her tail whizzes back and forth as I try to quiet her as best as I can. “Yeah Izzy, I’m home. Who’s such a good girlie?” She yips quietly and I quickly close the window. “I know girl, I love you too, just don’t wake up Mom.”

  With a yawn, I slip off my shoes and fall onto my bed. I’ve got to get some sleep, even if it’s a little bit, if I’m going to somehow survive tomorrow. My eyes close and, thankfully, I fall into a dreamless sleep.