We had a nice lunch of grilled trout. Jimni kept poking Thorbjorn and saying “Mommas Lutefisk” which set them both off laughing. We prepared for the 3pm visit of Portbo.

I was back up on my perch. We opened the gate to Portbo, awaiting an emissary. After 5 minutes, when I was just about to close it. A whipcord lean man dressed in leather and lace, a beautiful rapier at his waist strode languidly through the gate. Apparently, the smell of daemon ash didn’t agree with him, for he sniffed and brought a cachet in a lace cloth up to his nose. Yamina made an appreciative noise, which frankly, I hadn’t been mentally prepared to hear from her.

He looked me in the eye, bowed slightly and said, in a very upfront manner that I didn’t expect from his clothing and manner.

“I am Rene d’Portbo d’Catalan, a trader from Portbo, how many merchants through the gate, and how often do you wish to exchange them? From your letter you seem to be continental. So, we might as well get to it.”

“I was thinking 1 merchant a day for an hour or so. Though if you wish to agree to an hour of conditional nonviolence. Wherein we agree to not start any violence on the other, but keep the right to reply, you may stay the day.”

“Agreed, 1 hour. Say when”.

I added Rene to a condition 1 day whitelist, as discussed.

“Come on up.” I said, and tucking his cachet of scented herbs away, Rene gracefully jumped up the ladder in a few bounds, and over the palisade.”

Looking about, interestedly he said appreciatively “Nice”.

I heard Sgt Plum behind me mutter, “Huh I might just like the fop, who knew.” Yamnia had her eyes flicking to him and away far too often for my taste. I still needed to emotionally face that she’s a big girl now, not a 12yr old any longer.

I turn to Rene, “On my world the name Catalan, describe a remarkably independent people from the mountainous border regions between Hispacon and the City States of LaGuille, in a range of mountains called the Pyrenees. May I take that you hail from a similarly ancient and noble people?”

“I do, and I see you’ve been negotiating with Garban’s ilk. Their speech is infectious.”

“Yeah sorry, it does creep in on. I think it’s just so fake, it’s fun. Do the Catalan of your world still dance the sardana, into the evening”?

“Why yes, have you been to my homeland, or did you say on your world? We call the mountains the “Pyran” and the Dance is the Sardona. But yeah, pretty much.”

I replied “No, just a love of the Catalan from a character in a favorite tale alas. No closer, in this world or the last. Though I would be pleased to hear a few words of your native tongue, for myself and my partner”, I pointed at Yamina, in her current max size of about 6inches. “Perhaps a poem or song? Not right away of course, I just have always admired their ancient and noble language.”

“Once you start its, just so hard to stop isn’t’ it.” Rene smiled back.

“Pardon?” I replied

“The flowery crap, once you start it’s just so hard to stop, I had the same problem when I got back.”

I laughed “ha! busted, it really is. Tell me your story, why did you get chucked through the gate?”

“Oh, that’s simple, it’s on my father’s city estate. For all practical purposes he owns it. Though the Duke of Catalan and the King of Hispacon each take an awful bite out of the revenue.”

“I see Catalan is no more comfortable under the rule of others in this world that it was in mine.”

“No true man is comfortable under an unloving unjust yoke.”

“You seem awfully chill, Garban was trying to lock us down into a closed contract the second his slave got here.”

“Ack, the poor slave bastard, yeah that’s their way. Their god strictly enforces magical contracts, once they get you in one to their advantage, they never let you go. My dad’s lands surround the gate, pretty much whomever you do business will have the taxes deducted automatically from the transaction. He doesn’t see a reason to be all grabby about it.”

“I think I’d like your father; his son makes a good impression”

“I think he’d like you too, you seem pretty straightforward yourself.”

“It’s my way. Shoot straight and to the point, speaking of which what are your fathers’ taxes.”

“My father takes 5%, the duke and the king 10% each”

“Our taxes are 5%, but nobody else takes a cut. We’ve discussed eventually going up to 10, as we’re a growth area, but we have not decided.”

“Interesting, do tell.”

“The best part is our market. I think you will appreciate it, Follow me.”

I took him to our enchanted marked, asked him his favorite color to which he replies gold and red, the color of the flag of Catalan, I took him to the yellow booth, and make myself and him the temporary owners,

“Check out the magical inventory?”

“Very interesting, I assume you had another point”

“Join my guild for a moment and then play with it.”

I added him as a probie of my guild and told him to say “Inventory”. I then dropped an apple into the shops inventory, and told him to move it to his.”

“Ye gods, that’s extraordinary, you could make a fortune as a smuggler, and that’s without moving things in and out of the shop”, Rene continued to move things in and out of the inventory while we talked, playing like an excited kid.

”My very thought.” I said.

“It’s a very, very small one, but a truly Enchanted Market hasn’t been known since the burning of Marrakesh and Alexandria. We basically just have tall tales left that speak of it.”

I tossed another apple into the inventory; and then moved it to his.

“You can restrict access of course, you just have to concentrate on exactly how you want it to work, but with a person back home and a person here, you’d see the logistics are quite exceptional.”

“Exceptional indeed, how far away does it work?”

“We don’t know, we’ve only been a fist full of miles away but it worked then, I was sort of hoping you’d help us experiment.”

“Ah, the bait, and where is the hook?”

“My Goddess seeks to expand her worshipers, but we’re of the opinion that with and good honest effort, freedom to move and trade are good for our people. We’ve promoted 2 of our people to masters without a guild, for instance, at the direct intercession of the Goddess’

“My what big bait you have there Bill, color me interested.”

“Oh, one more thing”

[We also can communicate silently over distances instantly]

“Yea gods, be still my beating heart, do you have more miracles?”

Yamina perked up, her voice extra expressive, her eyes large “We -are- miracles there Rene! Don’t forget it!”

“A few,” I said more demurely “please follow me”, I took him to the altar and had him put his hand on it and say Character Sheet.

“Wonders will never cease; I’ve read tails of heroes with this ability. Ack, I have 100 points in the disadvantage Excessive Drinking” and 150 in Libertine, how distressing to see my faults so clearly.” Rene shook his head sadly, but with a twinkle in his eye.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

“Do you have any unspent CP on your sheet?”

“Yes, just over a thousand, why?”

“Concentrate on choosing Perks, and see if there is anything there you would like to buy.”

“Llum De Gaxo, sóc un Pocatraça!”

I spoke to him in fluent Catalan “One perk, gift of tongues, lets you learn any language after just a few words, like I just learned yours.”

“Oh! that’s a good one for a trader. My father keeps me at home though, my mother would… Oh, I can buy charisma! Ouch that’s expensive.”

“It’s because the higher your charisma is, the more it costs to go up another level”. Yamina said, way too innocently, and with way too musical a tone in her voice, up and down in verbal curls. Something was up.

About then Granny walked up, and spoke in perfect Catalan as well, “You can also tell your father, that I have bought back 30 years of life, on my character sheet as well. You might love your drunkard or libertine, but sometimes a few more years of life sounds delightful, or at least the same years with more life in them. I can’t honestly say if I’ll live longer, but I feel thirty years younger. Bill there removed his weakness of the lungs, though he seems too attached to buy back that softness round the waist he carries, not sure why”

“It’s because, even though I died, and my vows were ‘till death do you part’, I still love my wife and am faithful. A little weight around the belly doesn’t kill me. I’m not heading out to pick up chicks”

“Pardon, did you say you died?” Rene said, blinking at me rapidly.

“Yes, I died in a horrible wreck upon a road, crushed, in my old world. My wife and sons still are there. Before I went on to the hereafter, the Goddess Danu offered me a job instead. To them I am some months dead and buried. But they are still fresh to me. So, I am not ready to move on, you, see?”

“You chose to come here instead of going to heaven?” Rane said, looking at me with big uncomprehending eyes.

“Well, it’s a blind choice. I don’t know if it’s heaven over there, or hell, or just the empty stark nothingness of the void. I chose what I could feel and touch, instead of gambling.”

“Ah shrewd of your goddess, a much better pitch”

“Yeah, I though the same thing, we’re not talking at the moment, but I do appreciate her wit.”

“You are not talking to your goddess or she is not talking to you?”, Rene said, his eye large and his mouth part open. Perhaps the shocks were coming a bit to quickly for Rene.

“Both, we’re on a break, she misbehaved in a way that made me very angry, and we decided to put space between us for a while to cool off.”

His face shill slack with shock he said, “But before that, you spoke to her person to person”.

Yamina spoke up in a private channel [More like this, my mother loves him, but she’s getting a bit tired of the silent treatment. We have a private channel where she can answer our prayers and choose to speak to us.]

“Frankly, lovely little miss Yamina, I am a bit of an agnostic, I have a hard time believing in imaginary sky people.”

Yamina tittered musically, apparently, she liked Rene even more than I thought.

[Oh, you are making this so much fun! but it’s just too easy. You want concrete proof of a goddess, while you are literally playing with her miracles, Chat, Inventory, Character sheets. If you need proof, would you like to worship Me, Yamina, and through me the Goddess Danu, my mother? I mean, if you don’t believe why not do it just for a lark. What do you have to lose?] I recognized that smoothness of tone and sharpness of eye, pure Danu that was.

“Why does Magic have to come from a god? where is your proof of divinity?”

For once I saw a popup that wasn’t my own, instead of blue popup, this one was Golden, not yellow light, literally made of gold.

Renee looked at me, sardonically “Is she joking?”.

I replied, on the private channel [I assure you she’s quite serious, and it’s one certain way to get to speak to our Goddess, If you do join, pick the boon “System Chat” whatever you do. That’s the best way to hear her directly. If that’s all you need as proof, Yamina is clearly game. She’s not supposed to share all over that she’s what she, is, but she’s offering you a place on the ground floor of a new religion. All I have to say, is think it over seriously, getting in is free, and can come with Gifts, but getting out has a downside. You don’t’ want to make a Goddess mad by breaking up with her youngest daughter.]

Yamina pouted [Aw, Bill, now you are just trying to jinx my first worshipper!]

Rene’s eyes light up with joyous light, and his mouth quirked lopsidedly his gallant and libertine reflexes obviously triggered by the statement, [You want me to be your first Miss Yamina? all you had to do was ask my Dear, that I would have given you freely, if you were not so small!]

He reached out, gallantly accepting the popup, half serious, half thinking it just innuendo.

And disappeared.

Yamina exploded in an orgy of light. Wow bad choice of words there. but she went off like a fireworks display.

Then Yamina disappeared too.

“That can’t be good…” I said…

After a few minutes, sitting on the bench alone in the dark. I gave in

“Okay, I’m sorry, if you are okay with my conditions we can talk.”

[About time Bill, you made your mind up days ago, it’s not fair to keep a girl waiting like that.]

‘You knew the important part, you had plenty of time to come up with your pitch. I just needed time to get all that mad out of my system. Where are Rene and Yamina?”

[Well, time is a bit ‘Wibbly Wobbly’ at the moment. He’s in several streams at once. He’s still technically sitting next to you, although he’s off to the side where he can’t be seen. He’s having a conversation with both Yamina and myself, generating his Character, much as you did. Yamina is being -Very-Possessive-, I’m trying to recruit him to be a Gardiner for one of her siblings, but she wants Renee all to herself. This kind of relationship often works out between the Demigod and their first worshiper. Who is often the Gardiner, but I’m afraid Yamina takes more after myself than most, she’s a greedy little minx.]

“I think you are delightful Danu, But I’m married.”

[I know Bill, and I think it’s terribly sweet, but there are more ways to be possessive than just sexually. I do agree, that is the route Yamina is -clearly- choosing to take.]

“Yeah I was pretty sure. How’s that going to work out, heaven only magically scaled onesie? Also is my theory correct and physically and emotionally she’s running 19 or 20 about now? I’d hate to have to arrest Rene when they get back.”

[Oh no Bill, one of the powers that comes from upgrading to Demigod From Godling, is the ability to be as big as she wants. Or as small. She’s about to start to lavish Renee with attention for a long time to come, and yes, she is definitely a grown woman now, no need to shape up some handcuffs for Rene..]

“Size changing on that scale, that ability sounds expensive.”

[Oh, it is, it certainly is]

“Who pays you or us?” I asked my eyebrow doing it’s Spock thing again.

[Neither, or I guess if you really want to think of it that way, it’s part of the costs I paid to create her as a godling in the first place. If her worship spreads, it’s going to be great for her. In the meantime, she’s going to have access to less from me than before. More Independent. Kind of like going to college.]

“And acting out by sleeping with everyone in the dorms?”

[‘Oh come now Bill, even then when you were in college, you knew that poor girl didn’t mean it literally, she said it to try to titillate you with her sexual availability, Her raw sexual appetite. She was challenging you to take up the gauntlet, and she was a very nice girl to you all in all.]

“Yeah, for as long as it lasted. She was very sweet”.

[Exactly. Now where were we]

“You paid for Yamina to be able to Jump Rene’s bones, that was awfully fast by the way, is she always going to be like that?”

[No, no, it was just the lure of both at once, it’s kind of irresistible for us deities. Its’ like our chocolate truffles]

“What about yours, was It Bile, or Kashyapa?” I asked genuinely curious.

[Oh wow, I haven’t heard those names in forever. No neither of them, though they were both wonderfully sweet at times. I’m still associated with oak trees to this day because of Bile. No, It was the sweetest little CroMagnon boy. Well young man really, but we were both hardly more than children. His name was Garat, he was the first homo sapiens to find my river, back when I was hardly more than a River Spirit. The neandertal had a hard time swimming and feared me you see. But Garat, he fell in love with me at first sight, both as a River, and as a young woman. He made a canoe, and paddled up and down the river and lived on my waters his whole life. He became a hero to his people. For a long time a demigod of theirs. But eventually they fell, and worshiped new gods. He moved on to what comes next. It broke my heart, at the time. ]

“That explains your predilection for paddling then, doesn’t it?” I said, giving the sky a side eye look.

[Oh, Bill you’re awful. We need to talk about something else, or I’m going to get all maudlin.]

“Then tell me about Rene and Yamina? Not grody details mind, you, but how’s the big picture working out.”

[On one thread, I think I’ve just about gotten her to let me make him Ethelbert’s Gardener. It’s her desire to buy him lots of presents you see, I can let her use him and you both as bind points, and then give him a whole separate suite of gifts to help raise Ethelbert]

“That’s not going to be confusing at all, too many berts in our local pool.”

[Ethelbert is actually electing to take a new name, a Catalan name in fact. He was rather inspired by how fondly you felt about Catalan. From so far away, and what a stubborn, proud and independent people they are. He feels close to them, his head is harder than Bile’s was, and Bile was an Oak tree.]

“The Catalan have a fondness for Dragons, lots of great dragon names in their culture. Including that Marraco with the big mouth, seems to fit your kin. There are great names from the Carolingians and the Barcelonans as well.”

[I passed that on, he seems enchanted by “Ramon d’Marraco” “Ramon of the Big mouthed Dragon”, he got a big dose of whimsy from somewhere.]

“Oh yeah, like you have -no- idea.”

[I plead my right not to incriminate myself}

“Constitution isn’t valid, it’s another world”

[Piffle]

“Be sure to tell Ramon, that what the Catalan people have dreamed of, for a thousand years in my world, was independence from Spain. And not to fall in France’s arms ether. They desperately wanted to be independent. Unfortunately, they also had most of the major industrial capacity of Spain. Unsuprisingly, the kings would never let them go. Independence, Pride, Natural Resources, Industrial Revolution. Big things in Catalan history. And they love the Sardana, he’s got to be someway a god of dance or music, or carnival, Right? A beautiful people they are. Big hearts, full of love. An immense City State of Catalan, like a Switzerland in the west, it could be a very good thing.”

[He’s soaking I all up at my side. As we speak]

“Hi Ramon, I think the Catalan of both worlds are a great people, treat the ones on this word well, love them back, and you’ll do great. Just remember to keep going outward. Don’t be too insular, always have a backup plan. Don’t go like Garat and become obsolete.”

A tiny voice, at once familiar and new, said [Thanks Bill. You take care of my sister for me, ok?]

“Way ahead of you Ramon, Way ahead of you.”