I couldn’t move.
It’d been hours since that door slam shut behind Isobel, but I remained glued to my chair.
I wanted to curse myself for ever marrying William, yet even now looking back on myself, I could still see myself choosing him. It wasn’t really ever him that I’d chosen, it was for mama.
While the Sinclairs wept and cried, it was mama who’d rejoiced when William had finally been old enough to be sent to live on his own. In William, she saw the Thorne’s future.
Mama thought the Sinclair’s blood could wear off on us, that we might somehow do more than wait to go to Ascelin. She’d convinced me of it too, and we had both been proven fools today.
How stupid to think William could be different from them.
Hunger gnawed at me, but I wasn’t willing to move yet.
Could I hate myself for staying with him? I could.
But could I hate myself for choosing William to make mama happy?
Three loud chimes cut through the storm, sending me whirling back into my body. It took a moment longer for that bell to register in my mind. Noon.
“Got ‘em out by noon,” I said my thoughts out loud, no longer having to care if William caught wind of it.
My own limbs made me question if I truly wanted to get up when they didn’t move on my command. Pins and needles had spread from ass to toes.
Was there truly no one in the Thorne family that had ever been blessed with any sort of wealth? If they had, they must’ve pissed it right out, otherwise I wouldn’t have inherited chairs that made your ass go numb.
Crack.
My entire body jolted at the sound of a tree being struck by lightning. The walls of my house shook with the thunder that followed. I was on my feet a heartbeat later, numbness forgotten.
The curtains were damp where I held them between my fingers, pulling them aside quickly to see which tree had been hit.
One lone tree sat between the cobble pathway and my home. It had died a year after mama did, but the skeleton of it still watched over our home.
Now, it burned.
Split down the middle, flames had already crawled their way out from the heart, quickly devouring the dead bark. The pelting rain made no difference on the fire’s advance, in fact it seemed to fuel it.
Coincidence, or had I truly been heard by Ascelin for the first time?
People were shouting outside, a guard in black quickly passing through my field of vision. Seconds later, a group of guards passed through, uncaring for my tree that burned.
Any available guards were off to protect the favored. Ascelin rarely allowed His storms to strike so close to any of His peoples’ homes. Something had angered Him. Deeply.
I watched, frozen in place, as people began to gather around that tree, forcing stray guards to rush around the group. They balked at it, and I could practically hear the stories they were making already.
I began to fear that Ascelin had heard me.
A cloaked figure turned from the crowd and faced my home, and though I couldn’t see them, I could feel their eyes. They didn’t move or interact with the others- they simply stared at me.
They’d taken my attention away from the others, and I hadn’t noticed another dark cloaked man doing the same.
My heart skipped a beat, breath catching in my throat. What were they doing?
Before I knew what I was doing, I’d taken a step away from the window. Then another, the curtains slipping from my fingers.
Time felt as though it had slowed as they fell back into their place.
I was still backing up, distancing myself as much as I could, but my instincts were screaming to run. I’d grown far too cocky in Ascelin’s silence.
My leg hit the side of my couch as I continued backwards, startling myself. Forcing a long breath into my lungs, I steadied myself with a hand against the back of the couch.
“You’re overthinking,” I muttered, trying to speak reason into my heart as it banged against my ribs.
An eerie calm had settled in my home, the outside world forgotten to my ears. A few steady breaths later, I was able to still my heart.
Ascelin hadn’t heard me. It was a coincidence and nothing else. The cloaked men were simply nosy, right?
One hard knock had my door rattling on its hinges, ruining the progress I’d made. It didn’t matter who stood outside, I didn’t want to open that door.
They knocked again, and I prayed they didn’t have the smarts to try and open it. That door hadn’t locked for as long as I could remember.
My muscles tensed as I waited, anticipating the worst to happen. My free hand had gone against my chest, and I could feel my blood rushing with freight beneath my fingertips.
They must’ve given up; the third knock never came.
Yet still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was no longer safe. Had the Sinclairs done something?
“Claudia Sinclair?” A woman’s voice called from outside, sounding as though they stood next to a window.
My voice was lost, still in the hands of fear.
“Are you alright in there?” She called again. I didn’t recognize her voice, which had my interest. “We’re going to be late if you keep me waiting any longer.”
Late?
Ascelin damn it all, it was Robert Latimer’s Deification day, and it would certainly be noticed if I were not there.
“I’m coming,” I said at last, and hesitated before actually going to the door.
A fresh face waited outside, one I had certainly never seen before. I knew immediately that she was favored, and she was new to wearing red.
Blue eyes squinted as her lips pulled into a wide smile, not too different from Isobel’s. I fought the urge to shrink away from her, to look away.
“There you are,” she said through shockingly white teeth. “I was beginning to worry about you.”
“Hello,” I said faintly to her, still feeling my pulse thrum in my throat.
A blonde brow rose up in question. She looked a little stunned, even the corners or her lip faltering. “Hello,” she echoed back to me, awkwardly giving a little dip.
“Is it Robert Latimer?” I asked, my eyes drifting over her shoulder to look beyond my porch. The cloaked men were gone, yet the crowd remained, all shouting in the distance to be heard over the rain.
“Yes, and we must go.” Her voice brought my attention back to her, this time really looking at her.
My eyes snagged on her throat, where a simple white ribbon had been fashioned into a tight necklace. “You wear white,” I mumbled.
The woman looked confused before she followed my line of sight. In a flash, she’d pulled her dark hair to the front, almost entirely concealing the white. “We have to go, Claudia.”
“Who are you?” I questioned, glaring down at the gloved hand that reached for mine as I pulled away.
“Fiona Bassett,” she snapped and took hold of my hand, her grip firm as she tugged me away from the warmth of my home.
I barely had the sense to close the door behind me before she had started down the steps, dragging me behind her.
“Stop,” I gritted out, digging my heels into the muddy earth. “Take it off.”
“What?” She whispered. “No.”
“You must,” I urged, looking around to make sure no one else was listening. “Is this your first Deification?”
Fiona looked somewhat hurt, and I knew I’d been right on the mark. “They won’t notice it.”
“Favored or not Bassett, you wear Ascelin’s color, and that is your only color, especially when attending a Deification. They will notice, they have noticed far smaller things.”
It was true, I had witnessed a priestess publicly shame a girl for wearing her mama’s pearl earrings. She wasn’t seen again until it was her own Deification day.
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“If I take it off will you walk?” Her smile was gone, replaced with blatant anger. She was worried about being late, the idiot.
“Yes,” I hissed at her. “Take it off,” I said again.
She may think I was being ridiculous, but it was for her own good. And mine, at that. Angrily, she released my hand and tore the ribbon from her neck, stashing it into the pocket of her petticoat. “Are you satisfied now?”
“Start walking Fiona.”
✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
The heart of Reddon, Ascelin’s village, was alive and beating, the crowds of people pulsing and moving through the streets like blood through veins. It was easy to forget that the favored lived incredibly different lives than the rest of us.
The town hall’s doors were thrown wide open, a line of people waiting to step inside. Colorful canopies had been crafted to protect the people from the rain, though I noticed the weather wasn’t nearly as angry here.
Guards stood at their posts, stationed variously throughout the streets. People rushed by in various colors, all but red. I eyed Fiona from the corner of my eye; she clung far too tightly to my elbow, almost as if she were nervous to be here.
I didn’t care enough to pry. We all had secrets, and I was happy to let her keep hers.
Inside the town hall, the celebration was in full swing. People danced with their partners, sweeping their women across the floor in elaborate moves never taught to people like me.
One man clad in white stood aside from the doors, hands clasped together over his protruding middle. Frederick Boone, I thought. Today’s priest.
I’d seen him a few times before, but the last time had been for mama. Something about the man unsettled me. I knew he was old, incredibly old.
He had to be, to look the way he did. Boone was bald and wrinkled beyond recognition. Ascelin’s favor worked in mysterious ways.
Commonly, the favored would look the way they always had, as if they were eternally in their prime. To be favored and that old looking meant something.
I paused before Boone, Fiona at my heels. She was practically shaking, like a wet kitten. My hands fisted my skirts, lifting them slightly as I curtsied to him. Fiona was a second behind me, fumbling as she removed her arm from mine.
A snort came from the man, eyes curtained with wrinkled skin squinting at the woman behind me. “Bassett,” he said with a curl of his lip. “You were more than welcome to sit this one out.”
I could feel the hesitation in her as she straightened, putting on a mask for the priest. “And I am. I was only asked to summon Sinclair.” She gestured to me, explaining herself.
“No,” the priest snarled at her. “You wear red and have already arrived, your leaving would be noticed.” He didn’t seem pleased by this in any sense.
“As you wish,” Fiona said as she inclined her head.
Finally noticing me, the priest angled his body toward me. “Claudia Thorne-Sinclair,” his voice rasped, far more pleasant to me. “Ascelin strikes near your home I’ve heard,” Boone stated, though it sounded like a question.
I knew how to play this game, how to pretend pleasantries when you held nothing but distaste for each other.
“Yes,” I confirmed, adjusting my expression. “Though maybe He was helping, as that tree was bound to fall within a season.”
Sagging skin lifted in skepticism. “I think perhaps it’s a message, young Claudia. Ascelin doesn’t strike without warning.”
“Perhaps,” I agreed with the old man. “I am the last of Thorne blood, Priest Boone,” I offered an explanation.
“Or you have done something to anger Him,” he said flatly.
It was easy to feign confusion. “I would disagree, Priest.” My tone held as much bite as his- I had to, when my honor was in question.
“Very well,” he said. “You seem confident enough in that. Where is your husband?”
With Lucille, a rotten voice whispered in my mind. “I’m sure he’s making arrangements.”
It was discomforting for the priest to know so much about me, knowing all too well I really wasn’t someone worth knowing to the priest. But maybe, it was just his job to know as much as he did?
The priest grunted in response, clearly displeased. “Your duties will begin soon. Best head inside,” he said in dismissal to the both of us, already looking away.
Apparently, Fiona and I were some big disappointments. I found myself becoming a little interested in knowing what this favored had done to be so disliked amongst her own.
Laughter filled my ears as I created a path through the crowd. People cleared out of the way once they saw red. Some were already drunk on aged wine, leering and cheering at us in their stupor.
Drapes of deep red fabric had been strung across the room, balcony to balcony, drawing attention to the grand ceilings. One grand table sat in front of the dais, bursting full of luxurious foods.
This was the first deification of a favored I’d ever witnessed, having never had the privilege before wearing red. I’d only ever attended the deifications of my neighbors and their families, and those had been nothing like this.
Clumped together on the dais was a group of reds, heads bent together to talk. Fiona was using me as a shield so as to not be seen by this group specifically.
They paid no mind to my arrival. Even amongst those who wore red, those whose life had come to its decreed end, there was a hierarchy.
Robert Latimer, had lived two-hundred and thirty-four years. Everyone of importance was expected for this event. It really wasn’t every day that a favored went to Ascelin.
Soft, lulling music played from a live band in the corner. A wide berth had been given for the band to play while they provided noise for the favored to talk over.
The cold of the outside didn’t reach this far inside the hall. It seemed curiously warmer towards the back wall, though no fire I could see burned nearby.
I spotted Robert immediately.
He was a hard man to miss. He’d aged fine with Ascelin’s grace, hardly a gray beard-hair in sight. He wore a loose fitting ruby red tunic with a darker shade for his breeches, nearly black in this lighting.
Robert’s laugh was thunderous as it echoed through the hall. A group of fawning women crowded him, and quickly joined to laugh with him, sultry in their body language.
I knew I shouldn’t stand and stare at the man. I was simply in awe of the event and the people brought together for it.
A frantically waving hand snagged my attention. For the first time in what felt like weeks, I truly smiled. Morrigan.
Morrigan stood in her own cluster of reds, a warm smile already on her face. “Get over here Thorne,” she almost shouted over to me.
A quick glance behind me let me know that I wasn’t going to shake Fiona anytime soon. She stuck closer to me than a shadow.
Morrigan had russet, reddish-brown skin that practically glowed in the sunlight. If you were to see her and not know her, you’d assume she was a favored due to her stunning beauty.
“Morrigan,” I beamed, my voice muffled as I was caught in her waiting arms.
“Claudia,” she responded in kind, and I could hear the vibrations of her laugh as it followed. A second later I stepped back, holding her shoulders.
“You wear red? How come I didn’t know?” The questions were already coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. It’d been months since I last saw Morrigan.
“I only donned it yesterday, Claudia, you haven’t missed that much. And I figured I’d see you today anyways, hm?” She’d braided her hair into long strands of black, flowing together seamlessly like water.
I opened my mouth to continue throwing questions at her, but the crowd behind us had fallen quiet. Morrigan’s hands dropped from mine, pushing them from her shoulders as she glanced around my head.
“We need to talk,” I whispered to her. “After this is over.”
A subtle nod of her head told me she’d heard me. Her eyes were trained forward, hands clasped in front of her.
Robert and Boone had taken up the dais, but it must’ve been Robert that spoke for all the laughter coming from the gathered people. Boone’s hands were raised as he stepped in front of Robert, stealing their attention.
“I will be quick, so the celebrations may continue soon,” he said, which gained him more than a few smiles and chuckles. “I would like to take a moment to remind everyone that tonight is a matter of serious importance.”
Those smiles were gone in a flash. Of course the favored wouldn’t want to hear this.
“Today is Robert Latimer’s Deification, his two-hundred and thirty-fourth birthday. He has given much in his life, and he is more than ready and deserving of Ascelin.” Some cheers answered him as Boone went on.
“We have gathered each of Ascelin’s Reds to show our appreciation to Him for allowing us to have Robert Latimer in our lives for so long.”
I couldn’t help but to tune out the rest. I didn’t care for the logistics. I didn’t care to hear what a cushy and comfortable life Robert had lived, nor did I care for his achievements.
Participate.
Mama would whisper it sometimes when we were on our way towards an event that involved worship. I sucked in a deep breath, releasing it through parted lips.
I can’t do this anymore, I wanted to tell her.
I could feel the change in my heart, simply thinking those words. The truth of it sang in my chest. I couldn’t participate anymore, mama.
I’m going to run.
“Claudia Thorne-Sinclair,” Boone called my name, dragging my attention and eyes back to him and Robert. “As you are next to meet Ascelin after Robert, it is only fitting you offer the first blood.”
Boone was holding a chalice, clear glass in its center while spyres of gold twisted up around it from the base. This wasn’t a question or recommendation.
“With pleasure.” I dipped my head to him and Latimer before stepping away from Morrigan and Fiona. Boone swiftly passed the chalice into Robert’s hands as he pulled a dull ceremonial blade from his sleeve.
The blade's handle was held out to me, the point held between the priest’s fingertips.
It felt entirely wrong to be in the presence of the two men. They were older than I could comprehend, the priest likely having known more of my family than I did.
The handle was cold as I palmed it in my right hand. This blade was more than familiar to me. I didn’t doubt this blade had been used for centuries, and had never once been sharpened.
Robert’s gray eyes were sharp as he waited. A twitch in his finger indicated his impatience.
“I will see you soon, brother,” I muttered the required words as I sliced my palm open, having to actually dig the blade into my flesh to work. Blood welled instantly, and I quickly closed my fingers over the wound, moving my fist over the cup.
I dared to look into his eyes as my blood dripped into the chalice. His nostrils flared for a brief second, a muscle in his brow moving involuntarily, but he kept his composure despite his anger.
When I was done, the blade was returned to the priest, who quickly wiped it free of my blood. Boone called a name I wasn’t familiar with as I returned to my place beside Morrigan.
Each red was eventually called, until the chalice threatened to spill. The town hall was silent except for the names being called at the muttered words spoken to Latimer.
Boone clapped his hands together and the crowd began to cheer Robert’s name, shouting their farewells to him. Robert, to his credit, was having a hard time leaving without spilling.
It brought me joy to see a favored have such an ungraceful exit.
Reddon would continue to celebrate late into the night while Robert made his journey to Ascelin’s cave. I had no intention of staying, and neither did Morrigan, whose arm looped through mine and began pulling.
Fiona was lost to the crowd, hopefully, as the waiting people were finally given access inside. With the ceremony over, not one of them cared for red as they pushed and shoved their way through.
Morrigan had slammed into someone else, but a moment later we were free, fresh air rushing back into my lungs. I didn’t stop once we were outside, I continued pulling her until we were far away from the town hall.
She was wincing as she examined her palm, stumbling behind me. “Slow down Claudia,” Morrigan groaned behind me.
“We need to get somewhere private,” I said to her, scanning the streets around me to find somewhere decent.
“Claudia,” the hesitation in her voice made me pause. “You’re right,” she said, voice wobbling. “I have something I need to tell you.”