Sometimes I look at all of this and wonder if this is how it's meant to be.
“Please, let me in! Surely you must have some food in there, or some seeds, or something!”
I start moving past the crowd of soldiers forming in front of the castle. There, at the front, is a single man. His shirt and pants ripped, entire body covered in dirt. The soldiers are trying to push him away, but he refuses to leave. I can't let this get any uglier than it already has.
“I said fuck off, man!” Shouts one of the soldiers. “There's nothing to share! Didn't you get your portions already!? Stop being greedy when everyone else also has so little!”
“They were stolen from me! That's what I tried to tell you from the start!” The man screams, tears streaming down his dirty face, now. “One of the addicts took from me, to try and bribe one of those damned Mr. Pleasures, no doubt! Why in hell aren't you soldiers doing anything about them!? When did it become okay for a man to rob his neighbor!?”
“Look around, you fool!” Says another soldier, spreading his arms out, gesturing towards the rotting buildings, cracked streets, dying trees, corpses laying about. “Does it look like we have the time or resources to go chasing after people right now!? Do you really think that's how it is!?” He points to the castle behind us. “What do you think is going on in there!? Think we're throwing a fucking party!?” His anger finally boiling over, he shoves the man to the ground. “Do you think we're just watching the whole country rot, you ungrateful bastard!? You ever wonder to yourself that Emperor Raul gave all he could already? That he regrets making things this way, because it was his laws that made it happen!? Oh, no, you have no one else to blame so you come to us! You come to us who have starving families, don't know what the fuck to do, just like you! But you don't care about that do you! Huh!? You piece of shit!”
The soldier grabs the man, and starts punching him. At this point, the other soldiers start to get even more agitated, some moving to try and help the man, while others go to join in on beating him. I can't let this go on any longer.
“Enough!”
When the soldiers hear that, none of them make another move. Right away, they move aside so that I can get to the front. Within seconds, I'm standing in front of the man.
“S... Sir Agil, please, tell me there's something you can do...” he tries to pick himself up and wipe the blood, dirt, and tears away from his face. “please... tell me that you can help me. That's why you came this way, right?”
The moment I stand there, in front of them all, stealing the stage like a hero in the play, the weight of powerlessness is upon me, fast as light. Oh, how I wish I could be the knight in shining armor, right now. How I wish I could lift this man up, provide food and clothing to his family, make his house, this city, this Empire, a place where he would not have to worry about these things.
There was a time when I believed I could do all of that. Now...
“I'm sorry.”
I reach out for the man's hand, and he takes it. I pull him off the ground, and, now that he's standing, I start to lead him away.
“Wait! Wait, please! You have to--”
Trying to force myself not to hear his pleas, I continue pushing him away from the scene. To actually try and listen to what he's saying, to think about, and understand that this man and his family is suffering, that his wife and children could be starving to death even in this moment, that they may become prey for thieves, rapists, murderers, anything else... to think about all of that, and realize I can do nothing, to realize, even if I could for this one man, that I couldn't for the millions of others who might have a similar story... the thought of it just might be enough to bring even me to tears. As much sense as it would make to cry in light of this, I just can't let myself do that in front of my men. The way things are, that's just not a privilege I have anymore.
“I'm sorry,” I repeat, again and again, the powerlessness I already felt pushing down even harder, now. So hard I feel that I can't breathe and might suffocate. So heavy that I feel I'll be crushed under it.
“Is it really that bad?” The man asks, starting to realize. “Is it so bad that even Sir Agil, the last of the Imperial Four, can't do anything?” Going through my mind, desperately searching for the words to say to this man, I finally see that I've moved him far away from the castle's gates.
“I...”
'I need to you to understand just how powerless we are,' I might say. 'I need you to see that there is nothing any of us can do, that there will be no miracle, that no hero will swoop in to save us. This is no fairy tale. There's no happy ending. All that's left for us is to die, slowly and pointlessly, lower than even the plants and animals.'
I might say that... if I had it in me to face that truth for myself in the first place.
“I... I want you to have this.” I reach for the pouch tied to my belt, and hand it to the man in front of me. With some hesitation, he takes the bag, and opens it. “You should be able to help your family with that much.”
“These coins...” he seems unsure what to make of it. “There's so many,” he says, with his mouth, yet his eyes seem to say, 'but at the same time, so little.' He seems to have drawn the only conclusion. “Sir Agil, is this all you have?” Finally, he understands the true gravity of the situation.
“Just take it,” I say, forcing myself not to go back on what I've just decided to do. One might call it foolish, but I couldn't care less. Even if the next few weeks will be that much more difficult, even if I'm putting myself at risk, how could I endure this for a moment longer and not want to do something? If I could give this man even the smallest bit of hope to hold on to, anything would be worth it.
His face is covered in shame and sorrow, now looking at the pouch as if it was something he was never meant to touch. “No, there's no way I can take this, Sir Agil,” he hands the pouch back. “If even you... if this all you have, even one of the Emperor's best men... if even you are struggling this much--”
I cut him off, pushing the gold back to him. “I promise you it's okay,” I say, forcing myself to smile. “It's me we're talking about, remember? The Unbeatable Sir Agil, the Shining Knight of the Imperial Four, overcoming any challenge!” Thinking of those old praises sung of me, I find myself chuckling. They sound so silly, now, considering how bad things have gotten, but I hope this man can believe in them, even just a little bit. “This is just another trial for me to triumph over. There is nothing to worry about.”
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
“I don't know what to say, Sir Agil, I...” he is still hesitating. Maybe I'm even worse at making myself look good than I thought. “I'll take it. I promise this gold won't go to waste, Sir. Even if this is all you can do, you're a saint. I thank you deeply.”
I smile at the man, hearing this. He returns my smile. “Don't mention it, my good man. Go on, now, and do be more careful of thieves in the future.”
“I will, and thanks again!” Finally, he starts to walk away from here. I can see renewed life in his step. A bit more hope... I pray that it will be enough. It's a little contagious, as I'm feeling somewhat better, myself.
“Well, I guess that's that.” I go walking back to the castle again.
Now, this is all I can do.
Back inside the castle, the soldiers have been waiting for me to return.
“So you handled it, Sir Agil? Thank you, some of us didn't know what to do,” says one soldier, wiping sweat from his face. One of the younger ones, it looks like. He can't be older than thirteen. The simple fact that a boy that young stands in front of me, fully suited up and armed for battle, says more than any words can, I'm sure.
“Yeah, glad I could help,” I say, my eyes starting to drift from the young man who spoke to me, to the rest of them, standing there. “Everyone, listen.”
Hearing that, the rest of them come closer to me. “What is it, Sir Agil?”
“Men, please, don't fight these people. I know how irritating it is, for them to keep clamoring to you, I hear them demanding the impossible, but--” I can hear some of them sighing and letting out loud groans of discontent. I hold my hand up for silence. Once they're quiet again, I continue speaking.
“...but keep in mind that they're just as tired and desperate as we are. We all know we're running out of options, but people just can't help themselves. I'm asking you to understand. This has been a trying time for all of us. If we hurt them, it will only get worse and worse.”
“I don't know how much more of this I can take, Sir Agil,” says one of the older ones. Looks about sixteen. To think, at about that age I had just begun to swing my sword. Here this boy is, looking like he's seen Hell. It's such a shame. “I hate this. Wasn't Clawscar supposed to be the greatest Empire in the world? Wasn't Raul's Law supposed to keep us living in prosperity for years and years to come? Where did everything start going wrong? Why can't we fix things somehow?”
“I wish I had an answer, my friends. It's because we still don't have those answers, that we have to hang in there until we can find one.”
“That sounds like something Rune Master Grandall would have said,” says another. This one is a teenaged girl. “What a fine mess he's decided to leave us in. I wonder, what kind of wisdom would he have to share with us, if he were still here?”
“Maybe that's why he went away,” says yet another young soldier, “maybe he went looking for a solution to fix everything.”
“Or maybe he just got off the sinking ship!” The older boy who spoke earlier throws his helmet down, saying this. He starts walking away. “Maybe they all did, the rest of the Four. Can't say I blame them. I'd do the same if I knew where this place was headed.”
“I understand that you're upset, but there's nowhere for us to run, anymore. Wingsgrave Island won't have anything to do with us anymore, and do you really want to go north? Really?”
“Wha—but that's... damn.” He stops right there, running a hand through his hair in irritation.
“Understand what I'm saying? Besides, who knows? Maybe some kind of solution will become clear in time, so long as we just--”
“Ssh! Anyone hear that?” Says one of the soldiers, suddenly.
“I definitely hear something... sounds like someone screaming, maybe?” Says another.
“Probably just the wind,” says one more.
“Let's check outside.” I go walking out of the castle once again.
Indeed, the moment I step out, there is a powerful wind blowing. I look up to see the night sky's stars hidden by clouds. What's happening? The sky was clear just moments ago.
“What is it, Sir Agil?”
“Stay inside! Something isn't right!” I look around, to my right... to my left... wait!
“That's...!?”
There's a storm raging to the east, screaming, destroying, coming this way fast. I've never seen a storm like this before! Could it be some kind of Runic Art?
“Everyone, stay in there! The storm will be on us soon!”
Even sooner than I thought. Before I can get a proper grasp of what's happening, the buildings around me start to crumble, the wind gets fiercer and fiercer still.
“!?”
Within a blink of my eyes, I feel a sensation that I'm unable to breathe. As I desperately try to in spite of the fact that I'm not able, I suddenly feel that my feet aren't on the ground. I'm blown about by the storm, losing my sense of up and down, flying around like a leaf in the breeze. Wailing... howling... the world blurs before my eyes...
Everything goes black. Have I passed out? Is everyone else alright...?
“Sir Agil! Sir Agil, are you still with us!?”
I open my eyes suddenly, and breathe deep. Somehow, I'm still alive. The young soldiers are standing around me.
“What's happened? Are all you alive?”
“Most of us are unhurt, but the castle was hit pretty hard by the storm, and--”
“The Emperor!!!” With strength I wasn't sure I'd have after being hurt so badly, I push past them, and go running into the castle. “Raul! Emperor Raul, answer me! Come on!” God dammit, please don't tell me...
I burst into the throne room.
“Emperor Raul!”
…everything's destroyed. Windows shattered, the throne itself rusted away. Laying where the throne once was...
“Oh, no...”
Emperor Raul is here. Was. That, laying there, is only a corpse. The man I was meant to protect is gone.
“WHY!?”
As if expecting to find someone who might be responsible, I look around, frantically...
...and in fact, my eyes do find something. Or rather, someone.
“!?”
Covered in a blood red cape and black armor, they stand there, at the window.
“That red cape... wait!”
My words go unanswered. Before I can go running for them, they disappear, just as quickly as they appear in my sight. A crushing silence is upon me. As if by a snap of one's fingers, the last reason I had to fight has been ripped from me. God damn it all!
“That red cape...”
I remember the red cape. That couldn't have been him, could it...?