“I didn’t do it because I wanted to. I had something more important to me to save first, even if I had to throw about my dignity.” Jules said with such emotion that shook Viran’s heart.
Viran tried to believe in Jules, he wanted to believe in Jules. Jules had already long ago proven himself to Viran when he spent hours trying to save Marianne’s life. The anxiety and determination shown by him was in full view of Viran as he sat there with Junia, that’s why Viran didn’t want to believe it. Viran needed to know exactly why Jules would go to such a level.
“Then tell me. Why.” Viran demanded as he slammed his fist onto the table, he had unconsciously done so in his anger.
Jules sat there, nervous. This was why he didn’t want to bring up his past, the past he was ashamed of. Jules already counted himself as lucky to have Marcus and the others forgive him of his sins, yet he remained fearful to become hated by the child in front of him. Despite being a child the fury that Viran extended towards Jules made him chill to his bone, hating the very notion that the child in front of him could one day hate him. Perhaps it was due to the closeness in age Viran had with Jules’ daughter? Or perhaps Jules still felt guilt over the Kieller Family’s tragedy, guilt over his failure of saving Marianne’s life? Jules himself had seen how much of an effect the woman’s death had on Viran, it had taken multiple days for the child to even look into the eyes of those around him. But more than that Jules had seen the loneliness Viran felt, the complete disfiguration of the boy’s previous personality was terrifying. Junia at one point was afraid this had become a traumatic experience for the boy, making him unable to look into the eyes of anyone.
“...My daughter. I needed to save my daughter.” Jules meekly said.
“You asshole!” Viran yelled, once again slamming his fist onto the table. “You inadvertently killed people for your own daughter? Didn’t those people have daughters as well?”
These words resonated within Jules soul- yet he couldn’t consider them sound. For the sake of his daughter, was it truly just for him to take the lives of others? Despite the long decades Jules had persevered in this cruel world he still did not know the answer, the implications of it all would be harsh on anyone.
“I know what I did was wrong. But it was all for her.” Jules muttered.
Viran’s face scrunched up tightly while hearing that, and he looked towards Marcus.
“Well? You really think something like this is fine! He’s a murderer.”
“Kid, you don’t understand jack shit. You’re too young and too youthful to be yelling at Jules about this.” Marcus coldly muttered. Every word had a cutting edge to it that somehow cut deep into Viran, yet Viran could not believe his words still.
“That’s just cold…” Viran said. “He saved only his daughter while leaving all of those people to die! He is responsible for what Marianne went through!”
“Really?” Marcus scoffs.
His head lifts itself off of his own palm and he stares straight down towards Viran. His eyes were filled with a cold abyss that threatened to encompass him in that very moment. Viran averted his eyes away from the man, much to his amusement.
“From my understanding… You only tried to save Marianne while you left all of those Knights to die. Am I not right?” Marcus folded his arms in front of him.
“That’s different Marcus! I couldn’t do anything! Marianne was dying-....” Viran cut off his own words as he spoke them. He considered it all in silence…
“I couldn’t do anything… He could have!” Marcus pointed his finger directly towards Jules to which Marcus scoffs again. The simple act had infuriated Viran at this point, he somehow controlled the anger that dwelt in his body.
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“Jules couldn’t have beaten the tens of thousands of Knights that the Emperor himself is in control of. He couldn’t have beaten the Champion of Fraus!” Marcus’ eyes squint as he focuses all of his attention onto Viran. “You are too young to understand everything. Jules couldn’t do anything! He was forced to do his job, and ever since leaving that job his past just somehow claws at his ankles no matter where he goes. Could you have done that? You needed to save yourself and Marianne. He needed to save himself and his daughter.”
“I don’t care what your “Noble Morals” Tutor says! In the real world people are selfish, that’s the kind of world we live in. Do you understand how many Knights tried to kill you back there? They didn’t care about the Knightly Honor they swore themselves to, they were selfish. But that’s how the world works.” Marcus admonished Viran heavily. Each word stung hard. It was true, after all, that Viran had learned all about this in his lessons from his Etiquette Tutor.
“How can you yell so righteously at him about such a thing? You need to realize your own incapabilities or else one day someone will make you learn them.” Marcus ended his rant with a soft tone.
Viran stared, his mouth agape. The words coming from Marcus themselves made Viran want to believe him, but Viran’s hands clenched hard. He felt angry at the words of Marcus, something inside of him didn’t want to agree with Marcus. But he knew that he had no right to yell at Jules like this. Just as Viran had hated the hypocritical servants of the Estate, were he to act hypocritical as well perhaps he would be just as hated. That was something Viran could not tolerate.
“...Sorry.” Viran whispered, Marcus and Jules ears perked as they heard the word spoken. They themselves were not expecting Viran to agree so easily, after all their experiences with him so far were often contrasting between a fiery and stubborn behavior or a small and docile child.
“It’s fine. You’re just a kid anyways, but you need to know that saying something far different from the real experience… Maybe one day you’ll be put into the same position and you’ll end up choosing the action you yourself hated before.” Marcus said calmly. “Or maybe you would be one of the ones sacrificed for another.” His final words prompted a small kick from Jules and an angry gaze. He thought the final part had gone too far.
They sat there in silence for a few moments before Viran shyly asked a question.
“So… Did you save your daughter?”
Marcus and Jules sat there staring blankly at Viran for a few moments before Jules softly smiled. His nerves that were on edge before became relaxed as he rubbed his rough palms together.
“Well, you’ve met Elena. So yes.” A bright smile came out of Jules. As though the previous conversation never happened before. The smile had fazed Viran for a moment, before he himself smiled thinly in return.
“I didn’t know she was your daughter, after all she only calls you Jules.” Viran said with an apologetic tone.
“It’s… Fine, there is a reason for that after all.” Jules said with a smile.
Seeing that smile something clicked in the mind of Viran. Perhaps it was the obvious love Jules had for his own daughter or the lengths he went through just to save her life, but Viran realized he couldn’t bring himself to hate Jules. It was obvious that what Jules had done was wrong and he only added to the plight of the Kieller Family, but Viran still couldn’t bring himself to hate the man sitting in front of him. The determination he had shown when he attempted to save Marianne’s life had already won Viran over, and the clear compassion he had towards everyone around him was almost something amazing.
If Jules was still so kind hearted before and after doing such a terrible deed, how cruel was the world to put that kind of decision onto him? Can Viran himself really blame Jules for doing what he did? Just thinking about it made Viran’s head hurt. Viran felt terrible knowing just how wrong he was, back in the estate he desperately wanted to leave the estate and see the outside world. But it was not as he expected. Marianne had died, he was almost killed, and the world was more gray than he thought overall.
One of the few classes he was permitted to learn thoroughly was how to act befitting of a Noble, and often his Tutor would teach him the morals a Noble should emphasize. Things like selflessness, two wrongs don’t make a right, and how to uphold yourself with dignity. But the events just a few days ago completely destroy the notion that such morals are practiced throughout the Empire. The Knights that swore to protect him turned on him. The Nobles conspired to kill him. Gregory himself was at the center of it all, conspiring to kill his own brother, a serious taboo in the Empire.
“Why do they even teach morals then…” Viran muttered.
“The Nobility Class teaches such things to push themselves away from those beneath them. It’s just another way for them to feel superior, they can act virtuous like this outwardly but internally they are always difficult to deal with.” Marcus said. “Let me tell you, the schools and colleges that the commoners are permitted to use don’t teach much about morals. Mostly it’s about the laws of the land and simple morals like ‘don’t steal’ or ‘familial fealty’. The Nobles, of course, teach those morals to their children but they make it sound more grandiose in comparison.”
“Ah, but some Nobles do exude these qualities greatly! They are able to put their people’s lives above all else and are very Noble! Indeed!” Jules added. He had thought that dissing the Nobility Class this much in front of a Noble child going too far yet again for Marcus…
“Heh. Yeah that’s true there are many Nobles like that.” Marcus’ face darkens, as though remembering the past. “Though, those Nobles die fairly quickly due to the schemes of their rivals. Or worse. The very same people they swore to protect.”
Viran while listening to this nodded his head intently. After being shut down by Marcus earlier, he learned of a new respect towards Marcus regarding his thoughts and ideas. Viran knew that he was simply too inexperienced in the world to be able to say so many things in such detail. Learning Marcus’ thoughts would help him out in the future, is what Viran believed.
The time flies, and with every second Viran feels as though he is learning more about the world. Viran’s eyes glisten as he stares directly at Marcus, and he listens intently. In Viran’s eyes, Marcus doesn’t seem too different to Marianne.
They simply exhibited a different kindness.