I watch the time slip like sand between my fingers. The grains embed themselves in places they don’t belong. I am enticed by the call of waves smashing onto the boulders. The cool air sends my hair upright, causing my curls to whip around my face. My delicate bottom is making notice of every leaf protruding and invading my comfort. I wrestle the idea of stopping for the day but push forward with my dedication. Clearing my mind, I inhale the salty breeze and will the thoughts to leave in my exhale. As my body relaxes and my mind clears the envelopment of peace begins to fill me. Learning to ignore the distractions of life has been less of a struggle lately.

It all began when I fell into Caspian’s arms exactly a year ago, on the anniversary of my brother and father’s disappearance. I stood at this same cliff edge battling with the pit that had taken ahold of my soul. With my arms spread wide and eyes closed, I leaned forward to meet the furious waves that slammed against the jagged rocks. I was over the edge when a pair of strong arms pulled me into their unforgiving embrace. A fury arose inside of me, threatening violence on the thwarter. I threw my head back landing an excruciatingly hard blow to the intruder’s face causing him to loosen his grip enough to slip out. I quickly turned while winding back to land another blow when the same foreign hands wrapped around my arm. My eyes narrow as he takes a step closer into the moonlight, revealing a pair of bright green eyes that twinkled with amusement.

“Easy there.” He spoke softly as if I were a wild animal, he was afraid to spook. “I’m not the best as reading situations, but I’m a really good listener, if you want to talk about it.”

The concern that laced his words tempted me to accept his offer. I glance at my arm that’s still trapped by his thick fingers and offer a scowl instead.

“My bad,” he says as he releases me and takes a step back to demonstrate good faith. “I just thought that if you shared some of your pain with me, you wouldn’t have to carry it all alone.” I crossed my arms attempting to resist the timid smile that took residence on his face.

“You don’t have to talk,” he continued. “We could just sit here and look at the stars.” And that’s what we did for weeks. Every night when I came back to this spot, he would be there waiting for me.

A cascade of emotion brings unrelenting chaos as I trace the jagged rocks with my fingertips as follow the narrow path leading to the ocean edge. The reflection of the setting sun ripples as the water gently moves. With a deep breath I chunk the glass bottle as far as I can. It hits the water with a small splash. I watch as the currents carry it away.

“Another message?” Caspian asked, suddenly appearing by my side. I gave a single nod then said, “It’s the last one, I’m just saying goodbye.” Tension caused the air to thicken as I sensed Cas had something to say.

“El, my parents are hosting a ball next month,” he finally says. I released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Walk me home,” I ask. His silence tells me this won’t be a pleasant conversation.

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“I’ll come back tonight,” he promises with a kiss to my temple. Then he’s gone. I stayed awhile and watched the water push and pull before beginning my trek home.

I step onto the porch and my nose tingles at a delicious scent wafting around me. A sigh escaped my lips as I crossed the threshold into the kitchen. Caspian tries to make comfort food when he thinks I might be having a difficult day. The note on the counter next to the plate confirms my suspicions.

“The only thing that should be hard today, is me. See you soon.”

A loud rumble emits from my famished stomach, encouraging me to fork the seared salmon immediately. Bite after bite entered my eager mouth with a burst of incomparable flavor leaving nothing but satisfaction. I place my cleared dish in the sink then trot down the hallway and up the stairs. My bedroom was the last door on the right, the first door had belonged to my parents. I entered my room while kicking my shoes into a corner overflowing with various footwear. Picking out a pair of pajamas I file into the ensuite bathroom for a hot bath. Eucalyptus and lavender fill the room as the roaring faucet constructs mountains of bubbles. With a twist of the knob, I step in and immediately sink until my shoulders are submerged.

The slam of a car door causes my pulse to quicken. I drain the water while reaching for the plush towel from the hook next to the tub. Pulling it close, I pad into the connected closet and pull on a pair of silk pajamas. Footsteps echo down the hall as I climb onto the large four poster bed.

The door silently opens allowing Caspian to strut in. His eyes dart to mine as he closes the distance between us. He shrugs off his jacket then tosses it in a nearby chair. After quickly discarding all but his boxers, he slides under the heavy comforter and pulls me to him. Heat radiates from him warming my cool skin. His fingers trail up and down my back causing goosebumps to protrude at the nape of my neck. A mischievous glint takes residence in his eye, inviting me in for a kiss.

“Wait,” I say while pulling away. A pout forms as his eyebrows shoot up in confusion. I place a quick peck on the tip of his nose before asking,

 “What is this about a ball?” A chill crept over my back as he pulled his arms free of our entanglement and propped it under his head to better face me.

“It’s not a big deal, really. My parents want to meet you and I might be receiving a crown or something,” he says nonchalantly. My eyebrows shot together at the way he dismissed the ceremonial occasion. He runs his ringer across my brow to smooth my face then says, “I disagree with my parents about the timing of it. There’s been an uproar in the north that could turn into a bigger issue. I explained that it would be a better idea to wait until we know after the situation has been contained.” A flash of worry is quickly replaced with a smug smile as he flips me on top of him. A strong sense of need overtakes me, leaving the conversation for another day.

I’m standing in the center of the room. A large chandelier hangs above, creating a cascade of light that flitters across the many faces surrounding me. I feel my body begin to shake as the crowd pushes closer to me. A blow to my back puts me on my knees. A scream erupts then is quickly extinguished by a large hand around my throat. Another hand fists my hair, pulling me to my feet. A blow to my face causes blood to gush from my nose. My eyes blur with tears as pain takes over. I struggle to escape but am knocked down again. Fear takes over while the crowd begins beating and flogging me.

My scream resonates in the room, amplified by Caspian’s absence. My heart threatens to burst from my chest as I attempt to steady my breathing. A quick glance at the bedside clock shows half passed three. Unease swarms around as I climb out of bed and tiptoe to the kitchen. I plop on the couch while my tea brews and record the nightmare into my journal. Just as I closed the book, the machine beeps with the promise of sweet dreams.