Four years later...

Its been four years since I've been reborn into this world and I've learnt a lot. The world I was born into is the Grand Xia world it seems to be one of the major world that judge told me about. I'm also pretty sure I was reborn into Ji Ning's time because, no one knows that name or about a war so it has to be before that.

I have also learned that my clan has about the same amount of power and influence of the Ji clan before Ning came. Which means, in our area we have a lot of influence but, outside of it not so much. We are also not the only major power in our area like how the Ji clan is just one of the six major powers. While my Qin clan doesn't have much infighting between the entire clan that doesn't mean much between women.

I have also learnt that while Ning said he was okay having multiple wives he didn't know what he was talking about. My father has three wives and six concubines. I hate every one of them, but my mother. She was his first wife, then she had me and obviosly I wasn't good enough for him. The pregnant ones had looked down on my mother, they all had girls.

My mother said she and my father 'fell in love at first sight,' that's all bullshit. They had mutual attraction and got married they didn't know each other and they were nothing close to friends. At least if they were their relationship could've fell back on that friendship when attraction wore off. That type of marriage was doomed to fail from the begining. After seeing my mother suffer and when someone else falls out of favor seeing them I swore to myself that would never be me.

If I ever married I'd get to know the person, be friends with them and we'd be dao companions not just husband and wife, they would also be my one and only so I'd be theirs. If they cheated on me I had no reason to scream and cry I'd just leave. I think them falling out of favor is a pitiful sad thing but, I don't pity them. This is my world if I pity them like transmigrators who don't think of the place they go to as their own world, I will die. While I'm not a boy I'm still father's eldest child, they see me as a threat, I'm not niave enough to think otherwise.

During these four years I have trained I've done pushups, squats, situps, and running laps to build muscle. I've also trained my mind not just my body, I've been through every book in the library and I know every little thing about this area. It's called the shadowshade mountian, It's a mountain range and it's called that because the sun doesn't usually shine on it so the mountian is casted in the shadows a lot. My soul has also gotten stronger with the visualization technique. I can split my mind three ways. Now, I know I want to walk the path of an immortal. In all the stories I've read when people transmigrate into the book of desolate era, they all just jump into the path of an immortal. However those are just stories. I know people in my clan who just wanted to get stronger some of them died because, they were not prepared enough for what that meant.

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It's sad but, I don't want to be them so I though it over. Did I really want to take that path? I realized, 'yes I did.' I wanted to be strong enough to rely on and protect myself. I didn't want to be in a weak position any more. So, that's why right now I'm outside of my father's study.

The problem is I don't know if I should knock or not. When I was just born I though he hated me. I'm not so sure anymore. He isn't mean to me but, not nice either. His face is always so cold when he sees me. Sometimes I see him looking at me with contemplation. Not hatred or love just contemplating. At those times I always feel so small. Like he's bisecting me and picking apart my flaws.

I lift my hand again to knock but, drop it before it touches the door. While I'm building up the courage to try again the door opens and my father asks me, "Are you coming in?" I know that I can't stop it anymore and I walk in. My father is a handsome man with black hair and strong regal features but, I always think 'he'd look better if he smiled.' 

Before I can think about it anymore he asks, "What would you like to speak about Luan." I know he shouldn't but, sometimes my father scares me. However, I don't think about that but, instead look him right in the eye and tell him, "I want to be an immortal."

"Do you know what that means Luan?"

"That I have to have the resolve to walk the path."

"Luan did you know I had a brother?"

"No where is he?"

"He is dead Luan, he had just started walking the parth of a cultivator, he was just like you he had read everything and was resolved to walk his path but, he died because to be a cultivator is to be a target."

I wanted to say something but, right now father just looks so sad.

"Luan are you resolved to die without provoking anyone just because you cultivate? Do you have the resolve to have mortals hate you because, they can't understand your world of the strong live and the weak die?"

"Father there is risk in anything please let me cultivate." I bow while doing this to let him know I'm serious.

"Fine but, you do know that you can't cultivate by Ki refining this young?"

"Yes father I want to cultivate in feindgod refining then when I'm old enough Ki."

"Fine, Fine, since you have figured everthing out, Brother Jason bring the feindgod techniques from the library please." he shouts the last part to his spirit beast.

I know from this point on there is no going back I have to get to the top or die trying.