Chapter 5

Vince and Bayla called for the elevator after she balked at taking the stairs. Understandable, she’s kinda touchy right now. I would be, too.

“So it’s a magic that will lift us to your dwelling?”

“Yes, exactly.”

To his surprise, they ran into his pal Luis when the door opened. It was to Vince’s surprise because Luis lived on the second floor. He’s so lazy sometimes.

“Hm,” Bayla muttered to herself, “I guess Landmen can carry some extra weight like me.”

If Luis heard the crack about his gut, he didn’t give a sign. He was occupied with keeping an overly affectionate Saint Bernard under control. “Down! Rufus, down!”

Bayla let out a startled cry, rushing behind Vince for cover. Vince walked over to the enormous dog straining against his leash and stroked his broad head. “Hey buddy, how’s it going? Miss me?”

Rufus barked once in reply, his tail wagging right into Luis’ hip with an audible thwack.

“C’mon Rufus, you can play with Vince later! You wanted out, and we aren’t going to clean the elevator again! See you later… wait, who’s the girl?”

Vince walked back towards the lobby door, a skittish orca trailing behind him. “Let’s take it outside.”

“I thought we were finished with walking,” groused Bayla.

“Oh no, you didn’t.” Luis followed, though he took a moment to adjust his hair and mustache in the reflection on the elevator door’s metal frame. “You tried to take another date hiking?”

“We aren’t on a date exactly,” said Vince. He noticed that Bayla kept him between her and the inquisitive dog, who seemed to have finally noticed the new person. “And hiking is a good way to get to know someone. You have lots of time to talk.”

“Talk? About what? The bugs, sweat, and all that other crap.” Luis was dressed in a set of sweatpants and a Seattle Mariners t-shirt that had fit once, but now strained against his bulk. “Still, she came back with you. Props for that.”

They found an isolated section of grass for Rufus to do his business. Bayla coughed into her hand, more confident once the dog was occupied. “I do not believe we have been introduced.” She started to rise to her tiptoes, before remembering how Vince had greeted her before. She stuck out her hand at Luis, though too high for him to easily reach. “My name is Bayla.”

Luis did not seem to notice the faux pax and gave her a gentle high five, which turned into an enthusiastic handshake once he lowered her hand. “Luis Perez,” he replied. “Oh, bro, you ruined her dress! See, that’s why you should stick to the great indoors. Hiking’s no date for a quality woman like her.”

“Luis speaks sense,” said Bayla, flashing him a sharp-toothed grin.

Luis’s own broad smile faltered just a moment, though he recovered quickly. “You like dogs, Bayla?”

“Is that what that is?” she asked, pointing at Rufus. The dog was busy scratching at the grass to cover up his business. “I thought dogs were smaller than this.”

“Yeah, Rufus is basically a small horse,” said Luis with a chuckle. “C’mon over, boy, you’ve got a new friend to meet. A beautiful one, at that.”

“I see you are observant,” said Bayla, her toothy grin widening.

Vince met Luis’ gaze, glaring down at him. No, don’t you try to steal another one.

Luis’s little shrug said everything. Hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game. “I said c’mon! Here Rufus!”

Vince stifled a sigh. He knew Luis’ main reason for being a pet owner was to pick up women at the dog park, and the annoying part was, it worked. The only question was, did orcas like dogs too?

Rufus trotted over at the sound of his name, panting loudly as he sat at Bayla’s feet. He looked up at her expectantly.

“What do I do with it?” she asked Vince.

“He likes being scratched behind the ears,” replied Vince.

“Hm, finally a use for these fins.” She reached out and stroked Rufus. “He is rather soft.”

Luis’ eyebrow raised. “Fins?”

Rufus responded by jumping up and licking her face with his enormous tongue.

Bayla fell to the ground with a startled shriek, which Rufus thought was good sport. He loomed over her, licking her face over again and again, despite her protests.

“Useless ass obedience classes!” spat Luis. “Heel!”

“Stop it!” she shouted.

Before Vince or Luis could pull Rufus away, Bayla planted a delicate hand on his chest and shoved him to the ground. The force pulled the leash from Luis’ fingers and the Saint Bernard rolled twice before coming to a stop.

Vince stood in stunned surprise a moment. If I didn’t know she was magical, I wouldn’t have believed my eyes.

Rufus rolled back up onto his stomach, looking at the girl in stunned silence as he slowly processed what had just happened. His lips curled back and he let out a single, savage bark.

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“Woah there, boy!” Vince lowered himself to the dog’s level, stroking his head. “Calm down, we’re just playing. Aren’t we, Bayla?”

Rufus visibly relaxed under Vince’s ministrations.

“If that was play, I do not wish to play anymore,” said Bayla, wiping a thick layer of saliva from her face.

“Sorry, Bayla,” said Luis. “He doesn’t always respect boundaries.”

Bayla studied her slimy hand and looked ill. “I am somehow filthier than before! You promised me a shower and that I would love it. Please, take me there.”

Vince felt oddly vindicated as he helped the orca to her feet. “Well, we won’t bother you anymore, Luis.”

“You got a change of clothes for her?” asked Luis as he took a firmer hold of Rufus’ leash. “I’ve got some clothes women left at my place. We can probably find something her size. Least I can do after my very bad dog gave you such a hard time.” He glared down at the prone Rufus, who had the decency to look shamefaced.

Bayla frowned thoughtfully. “Do you have under-ware? I am told it will stop my bouncing.” She quickly hopped in place, demonstrating her problem.

Luis raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Sure do.”

She nodded once. “Excellent! Please, take me back to your abode.”

*******************

Vince shook his head wistfully. “I guess Rufus got another woman back to your apartment.”

“Guess he did,” said Luis as he went through a drawer full of a shocking variety of women’s garments. “Though I think I’m going to let you keep her. Where’d you dig up this space case?”

“I ran into her hiking,” said Vince.

Luis’ sarcastic laugh echoed in the bedroom. “Like I’m going to believe that. She’s wearing, like, a Chinese dress and low heels to go hiking?”

“Is it the strangest thing about her?” countered Vince.

“Guess not,” conceded Luis. “What’s up with her teeth? And those dyed patches on her head? She some sorta whale-weeb, or cosplayer?”

“Lots of strange people come through Fin Island during tourist season,” Vince said, feeling guarded. He scanned the area, not wanting to look in Luis’ eyes while he was half-lying. He could not think of when he had been this deep into Luis’ condo. The bedroom was twice as big as Vince’s, on top of his larger living room. “What’s your uncle Pedro charging you for this place again?” Pedro had made a good chunk of money with a lawncare business and some stock market plays, and he owned half of Cedar Towers.

“You don’t want to know,” said Luis, settling on a set of pink unmentionables, placing them on top of a mismatched outfit he had already chosen. He laid them gently on the bed. “You get the friend-of-family discount, but I’m family-of-family.”

“Fair enough,” said Vince. “Anyway, there’s plenty of people like Bayla. Remember that guy who turned himself into a tiger with those tattoos and wore the cat’s eye contacts? Kept chasing people’s chickens?”

“Yeah, he’d come into my cousin Rita’s restaurant and order a big pile of hamburger on Saturdays,” he said. “You saying Bayla’s like that?”

“Not quite that bad, but she’s playing at something. You might hear babble about really being an orca. Just smile and nod, okay? She’s pretty dedicated.”

“She sharpened her teeth, that’s more than dedicated.” Luis rose to his feet, putting a hand on Vince’s shoulder. “Bro, I know you’ve been in a dry spell for… well, I don’t remember how long, which is the problem. But you don’t want to deal with crazy.”

“She isn’t dangerous,” said Vince.

Luis glared through the closed door. “Tell that to poor Rufus! She’s pretty jacked for such a short girl!”

“I’m also not going to jump her and start licking her face.”

“Then why put up with her?” Luis’ lip curled into a smirk, and Vince couldn’t stop himself from chuckling. “Still wouldn’t advise it, but I getcha, bro. Crazy and hot are like are like Siamese twins; you don’t get one without the other. Just don’t come crying to me when you’re covered in bites.”

“You can tell me ‘I told you so’ all you like.” He craned his ear, confirming that water was still running in the guest shower. “Don’t know why you’d be after Bayla. Don’t you have that girl at the bookstore?”

“Not yet, but soon. Bro, she’ll cross the street to say hi every time I walk Rufus by there. It’s a sealed deal. Don’t care if it takes another two months.”

Vince chuckled. “You and redheads, man.”

Luis smirked at him. “If you saw her, you’d understand. The way she fills out those jeans…”

Vince nodded, not entirely comfortable with the way the conversation had gone. A poster on the far wall for the Yancy Roberts show caught his eye. The overweight, intense-looking host was pointing at his motto, We Say What They Won’t.

“Hey, you still listening to those radio shows? About sasquatch and ancient aliens and stuff?”

“You know it,” he said, sounding defensive. “Why, you going to try and talk ‘sense’ into me again?”

“No, it’s your thing,” said Vince. “Have there been any… I dunno, unusual sightings lately? I think I saw something weird in the forest last weekend.”

Luis’ eyes lit up like Vince had just promised to pay his bar tab. “Weird? What kind of weird?”

“Well, I’m not exactly sure.”

He hesitated before continuing. Running into Luis had been a coincidence, but his friend’s strange hobbies might come in handy. He saw enough he might believe the story… but anybody knowing what Bayla is could be a problem. Besides, I don’t think he has warm fuzzy feelings for the monsters Yancy rants about. Or does he? Vince wished he had paid more attention to Luis’ ramblings over the years. He recalled him going out on sasquatch hunts a few times, and usually armed. Better be coy about it.

“C’mon, bro, don’t leave me hanging.”

“It looked like a person, but I think its shape changed. It turned into some sort of animal and ran towards the beach. I think I saw it playing in the surf. Is there anything you know like that?”

“Could be a couple of things.” Luis scratched at his chin and started pacing back and forth, reminding Vince of a detective in the drawing room scene of a mystery. “There’s a new breed of Chupacabra that’s been seen in New Mexico that can change form like that, but they can’t stand the cold, thank God. Got no hair.”

“That’s a relief,” said Vince, pasting on mostly convincing smile.

“Could be a Skinwalker, but they only come out at night. Sasquatch can’t change forms, but it could’ve been a trick of the light. They don’t swim well, though.” Luis stopped, nodding once. “Got it. You saw a Grey scout.”

“A Grey?”

“Some people think they’re aliens, but Yancy says they’re mutated humans from a secret, invisible island in a parallel dimension,” he replied. “They show up in their stealth ships to study us so they can return someday. They can’t stay long, what with the dimensional resonance. You got lucky you weren’t abducted.”

“Thank goodness,” said Vince. Should’ve kept my mouth shut. “So nothing to worry about?”

Luis shrugged. “Oh, it’s something to worry about, but we can’t stop ‘em. If you’re going to keep hiking up there, you should take some colloidal silver; jams the Grey’s sensors. I think I’ve got some in the medicine cabinet, one sec.”

Before Vince could object, Luis had vanished into the master bathroom.

“What was that about greys?” asked Bayla, poking her head into Luis’ room. Rufus padded along behind her, though he kept a respectful distance.

“What’re you doing here?” asked Vince. “The shower’s still running.”

“I tried the handle, but it only turned the water cold. Regardless, you mentioned greys. Do you mean grey whales? They’re delicious, especially the tongues.”

“Here you go, bro,” said Luis as he shoved a bottle bearing Yancy Robert’s face into his hand. “Two in the morning, one at night. Better take one now to be sure.”

Vince sighed, reluctantly taking one of the bitter tablets. Hope I don’t turn blue like that one guy I saw online. One shouldn’t hurt.

“What is that medicine for?” asked Bayla, throwing the door open wide.

Vince gulped. I guess she wouldn’t see a reason to cover up. At least she dried off first. “Nothing you need to worry about. Hey, Luis, we should leave the lady to get changed.”

Luis finally noticed her, his eyes bulging out of his head a moment. “Y-yeah, we should.”

Once they had left, Luis let out a long breath.

Luis had a thousand-yard stare as he replayed last minute of his memory through his mind. “Bro, she was just strutting around…”

“I know,” replied Vince.

“And talking about eating whale tongues.” A wry grin crossed his face. “Not a bad idea. You’re lucky you met her first. Even if she’s nutty as a Snickers, I’d be all over that.”

Vince couldn’t help but chuckle. “Guess it’s lucky I stumbled on her instead, then.”