After exhausting the latest and greatest porn apps, I found an app unlike any other. My endless scrolling stopped at the thumbnail with the shadowy outlines of hot fantasy girls, monsters, and even aliens. Had my search finally ended, or would I be disappointed again? I clicked on the app and waited for my slow-ass internet to download the massive 15G file, only for it to download instantly and install.

A chill ran up my spine. There was no way my old internet could handle something like that. It took nearly half an hour to download 1G. Even as the file was uploaded, I raced against time to stop the installation and even tried turning my phone off and back on to stop it.

No luck, the app appeared and opened on its own.

"Are you bored and want a chance to try something exciting? Has the mundane world betrayed your dreams? Or do you just want to take a chance and roll the dice?"

I tried to minimize the screen, but my phone wouldn't listen to me.

"Don't be afraid with me; all your dreams can come true. I will bestow upon you all the challenges and power you can handle. All you have to do is complete a few missions for me." Another message read.

…

Challenge 1 Time Limit 1 Hour

Complete 100 Push-Ups

Reward: 1 Red Pill: Red pills increase physical strength and blood flow. Take enough, and your strength could rival the incredible Hulk.

Complete 100 Squats

Reward: 1 Blue Pill: Blue pills increase speed and lung capacity. Take enough, and your speed could rival the Flash.

Complete 1KM Run

Reward: 1 Green Pill: Green pills increase cellular regeneration and life span. Take enough, and your body will heal like Majin Buu.

…

"What does this have to do with having sex with pretty girls?" I asked.

"No one wants to have sex with a loser. Only by completing challenges and fighting powerful opponents will you be worthy of mating." The Message said.

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"Why should I care what you have to say about that?" I asked.

"Tick-tock your time is ticking away." The Message said.

I didn't know if I believed the system or if this was just one of those weird workout apps. But if this was legit and I could get superhuman power-giving drugs, I wanted to try it.

I did my pushup and squats before running my ass off outside in the mosquito-infested south in an old pair of gym shorts and barefoot. The soles of my feet had peeled off, my heart pounded into my throat, and I was on the verge of an asthma attack. My damn childhood weaknesses were getting the better of me. My phone buzzed, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or if I had just failed.

All the gnats and a horsefly an inch long revealed themselves and inched closer towards the light from my bright screen. I tried to flick the massive black fly off, but the damn thing only buzzed louder than a helicopter before buzzing back to me. Three checkmarks appeared beside my challenge when my blinded eyes fell into focus. Then, a little  cheerleader appeared, jumping up and down with massive titties. Next to the cheerleader was an option to double my pills by listening to a 30s ad.

I thought nothing of it and hit accept, and an ad played for an alien dystopian world with giant people eating sexing aliens. With no other choice but to watch or turn my phone away, I saw the aliens gulp down human bystanders. It was like attack on titan but with massive bulletproof titties. The ad finally ended, asking if I wanted to open the door to the gluttony gate. I exited the app, and a bag formed out of data before falling in my hand.

"You have completed your first challenge. I'm impressed not every fat out of shape American could do what you did. Now eat your pills and feel what true power is all about." Message said.

I turned up the bag and swallowed all six pills at once.

"Be sure to take one at a time." Message said as the mass of pills went down. "Never mind, you will be fine. Be wary your next challenge could come at any time. Some are more difficult than others though all are based on your current world. Why don't you explore the dimensional transportation tab?" Message said.

I followed the tutorial as I felt a sudden rumble in my stomach. "Message what happens when you take too many pills at once," I asked.

"You explode," Message said. I pushed my fingers down my throat to force myself to vomit.

Another ding made me lift my phone. "Just kidding, you will have stomach cramps, muscle pain, and a terrible headache. It will pass." Message said.

I started the slow walk back home while opening the dimensional transportation tab. So far, I had Earth and Xion Prehistoric. "What happens when I click on the other world?" I asked.

"You will be transported across space, time, and dimensional barriers to your destination. You must complete 3 challenges to use the dimensional transportation function again. Once the initial challenges have been completed, transportation can be activated at no cost and timelines saved."

After an hour of trudging back, I made it back home and stumbled into bed. My head was killing me, and blood seeped out from my nose. The entire time I laid in bed, my muscles felt like they were filled with rocks constantly grinding against each other. Every joint felt like I hit them on a coffee table, and my lungs felt like someone sat atop them. I couldn't get a wink of sleep, and the pain didn't die down until morning.

When the pain finally subsided, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the next day. My phone had several missed calls from work, but I felt refreshed. After eating a hearty breakfast, I sat down at my table and checked the charge on my phone. Since downloading the app, my charge hadn't gone down.

A buzz alerted me. "You will be transported to the next world soon. Prepare to leave within the hour." My eyes widened, and I put on some clothes and stuffed some old jerky in my pants. Apparently, I was stronger and faster, but I didn't know by how much, and the system was already transporting me to another world.

"What gives why are you transporting me?" I asked.

"Baby birds only fly when they're pushed. This is my push now fly or fall." Message said.