Outside, Max spotted Effie waving from an empty parking spot on the other side of the darkened street.

“What took you so long?” she exclaimed, snatching the coffee cup from him and stalking a couple of paces away with it. “Now I’ll have to rush this whole thing, and that’s never good for the aesthetics of the spell.”

“Sorry,” murmured Max, watching in astonishment as the net with the pigeon floated out of his hand. It hung in the air and began rotating in lazy circles. The pigeon had a pained look on its face but seemed powerless to flap any more.

“Ok, stand back,” said Effie. “The limo will be arriving any second.”

“A limo? Oh excellent!” Max glanced down the street. He hadn’t thought to hire a limo but, in hindsight, it was just what Rynda would expect. “Will it be able to stop at my apartment first? I need to… AAARRRRGGGHHH!”

The white limousine had indeed arrived. Max was standing in the road and it appeared out of thin air, expanding into being right next to him. It shoved him back with its bulk and he tripped over the kerb. He landed on his backside next to the hem of his fairy godmother’s dress.

The polish on her toenails must have dried, as a pair of sparkly, peep-toe, high-heeled sandals were now fitted snugly over her dainty feet. She tapped one of them on the ground impatiently as Max got to his feet, brushing bits of tarmac from the seat of his expensive, tailored suit. “I told you to get back.”

“I didn’t think it would be…” Max broke off. “Can you smell coffee?”

“No,” Effie had turned her attention to the floating net and was making kissing noises at the obviously terrified pigeon.

Max took another look at the white limousine. It wasn’t really white, more of a beige colour, like recycled cardboard. And there was a discreet brown logo on the wing. “Did you turn that coffee cup into a car?”

“Never mind that. It won’t be any use to you without a driver.” Effie had given up trying to soothe the pigeon and was regarding it with folded arms. “Not the brightest one I’ve ever seen, but she’ll have to do.” After a moment’s pause, the net disappeared. A woman in a rumpled chauffeur’s uniform and cap was standing where it had been. Her expression of dazed terror bore a striking resemblance to the one that had been on the pigeon’s face. The woman opened her mouth and emitted a whirring noise. It sounded a lot like a human trying to do a pigeon impression.

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Max gaped at the woman. “A female driver?”

“It was a female pigeon! I’m a fairy godmother, not a sex-change surgeon.”

The chauffeur was now strutting around, a thoughtful expression on her face. She jerked her head forward and back, observing the surroundings, then stopped to closely examine a trodden down piece of chewing gum that was stuck to the street.

“Can she even drive?” Max was doubtful about getting into a car driven by someone who had previously been a pigeon. Come to think of it, he was uneasy about getting into a car that had previously been a coffee cup.

“Of course she can. Come on now, dear.” Effie bustled forward, taking the pigeon woman firmly by the arm and leading her over to the driver’s side of the limousine. The woman flapped her free arm wildly, making agitated whirring noises. However, once inside the car, she calmed immediately, starting the engine and taking hold of the steering wheel in an authoritative way that made Max feel a bit better.

“Right, that’s that.” Effie dusted off her hands. She walked back around the car and took a good look at Max. “Now I’ll just fix your outfit and you can go.”

“Oh yes, I was going to ask if the limo can stop at my place,” said Max eagerly, “I have a tuxedo there and a gift for…”

But with a bored expression, Effie had already snapped her fingers. Max felt something happen to his clothes. Looking down he was startled to find himself wearing a tuxedo. But not just any tuxedo. The suit that now graced his limbs was a deep and vivid purple colour. “Just a minute,” he protested. “I can’t go like this! Everyone wears black! I’ve a perfectly good tuxedo at home…” But Effie had taken his arm with a staggeringly firm grip and was leading him towards the car, making the same kind of soothing noises that she’d used on the pigeon. Bundling him inside, she slammed the door and waved cheerily as the limo immediately pulled away from the kerb and accelerated down the road.

“But…” Max was at a loss. This evening wasn’t turning out at all as he’d imagined.

The chauffeur turned back with a friendly look on her face and made a comforting cooing noise. Max didn’t feel very comforted by the way she carried on driving at top speed while looking away from the road. “Yes, I’m alright, thank you!” he gabbled hastily, sighing in relief when, after first nodding a few dozen more times than necessary, she turned back to the road.

If the smell of coffee had been strong outside the limousine, inside it was overwhelming. Gasping, Max felt desperately along the inside of the door for the window control. With the caffeinated aroma diluted to more bearable levels, he took out his phone to text Rynda that they were on the way.