The almighty god had a rather tacky office Kalden observed, he expected grand and exotic furniture, each of fascinating design and decoration, not whatever this room was, with ostentatious red lights, black walls and red couches, a pole was even placed in the middle of the room all they were missing was a scantily-clad woman dancing and copious amounts of alcohol. 

“Welcome to my humble abode, Kalden Ruth.”

The young man sitting directly opposite of Kalden on the armchair greeted.

Kalden took a second to give the man a quick once over, his brain denoting anything from the person’s appearance that could give a clue what he was like. Kalden took note of the man’s slender physique, brown eyes, cheeky smile. Confident. His looks screamed juvenile, about six-foot-tall, about the same height as him, and judging by the clothes itself, a noble from the 17th century, with the long socks, dress shoes, breeches and puffy clothing.

“So, I take it you are supposed to be God?”

“Of course!” the man laughed, “the name’s Redgrave, Kurogane Redgrave.” Stretching out a hand.

“Kalden, Ruth. Though I suppose you already know everything there is to know about me.”

Redgrave expressions lit up at this, “And I have to say you have a fascinating biography.” Two thick manila folders, similar to the ones that Kalden always used appeared on the oak table in front of the both of them. He flipped the cover open, on the first page was a picture of him, Sixty-five years old, the age finally starting to chip away at his looks, grey replacing black, wrinkles forming on his skin.

“It says here,” Redgrave continued, flipping through his copy of the file, “You enlisted into the army at age 18, after high school, is that right?”

Kalden nodded, “Yeah, my grandfather was a marine, my father followed in his footsteps, I chose the Army because at the time I thought I wouldn’t have to leave the states as much as my dad did.”

Redgrave smiled at this, nodding with approval, as he continued to read, “But then when you were 22, you decided to try out for Army Special Forces, now why is that?”

Kalden shrugged, “Not sure to be honest, at the time it was all about keeping up with the family tradition, both my father and grandfather were in Marine Raiders and MARSOC respectively, and I thought if they can do it, why not me.”

“Impressive. Very Impressive. Your subsequent performance in Afghanistan earned you a purple heart and a silver star-”

“That.” Kalden interrupted, looking away for a moment, “Is not something to be celebrated.”

“And why is that?” Redgrave asked, with genuine curiosity. “It says here your actions saved the lives of your squamates and a village of 200 people from Taliban attack.”

Kalden averted Redgrave’s gaze, taking a moment to admire his ceiling lights instead, “I… would prefer not to talk about it.”

“It’s about Corporal Jamerson, isn’t it?” Redgrave glanced down at his copy of Kalden’s file. “It says here he was a childhood friend.”

“His mother was a friend of mine’s. We never got fully acquainted until boot camp.” Kalden corrected, “but, yes… you could say he’s one of the reasons why.”

Redgrave nodded, “I see… So, after the…incident, you were fast-tracked for promotion, making Sergeant First Class at 27, then you decided to try for the Delta Force?”

“That’s right.”

Redgrave smiled even wider, his tone growing more excited, “What convinced you?”

“Action and glory.” Kalden immediately answered back, chuckling slightly, “No, really, not exactly the glory part though, never was one for the spotlight, but CAG was an almost legendary unit when they came knocking who am I to turn down the opportunity to join their ranks?”

“Fair enough. But after spending ten years in there, you quit. Why?”

Kalden cracked a small smile, “I think you know why,” he said, lightly tapping the file.

“The CIA, Special Activities Division, Special Operations Group.” Redgrave drawled, “You just could not resist, could you?”

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

Kalden shrugged again, “When Bradford offered, it was not exactly a dream come true, never had a taste of the world of espionage until Delta, working in the grey area of international politics. But I had a knack for it, as well-being for the good of the country and all that, in addition to paying a hella lot better than the army.”

“Which then brings us to now, after another 15 or so years working for Special Activities Centre Special Ops and the Political Action Group, you were offered your first station chief position in Singapore, then Taiwan, then China and last but not least… Japan, where you met your end.”

“It’s funny you know,” Kalden laughed, “I thought for sure I would bite the bullet in Beijing, not the US Osaka Consulate office.”

“And what were you doing there?”

“Following up on reports that certain prominent members of the JSDF, and more worrying the Cabinet Intelligence and Research Office were colluding with the Chinese MSS, funnelling resources and the like.

But I guess that was it for me then. I just wished I knew more of what happened. Hopefully, my comrades managed to catch the shits responsible, and find out what was going on with those officers in the CIRO and JSDF.”

Kalden threw his hands up in defeat, as he sighed, “Well, that’s my trip down memory lane done. You can send me to hell now.”

Redgrave smirked at that, “What makes you think you’re going to hell?”

“Well I’m dead ain’t I? heaven won’t accept me, not after all the shit I’ve done, not that I believed in it before.”

“But what if there is a place for you to go? A new world, where you can live a whole new life?”

Kalden shook his head, chuckling. “Frankly, it wouldn’t make much difference, espionage and killing are all I know, it's all I’ve been doing, and I enjoy it. I enjoy it so much its like a drug to me. No matter how much fucked up things I saw, I’ve done, I will still come back for more. I love it so much I sometimes scare myself. A person like me should never have a second chance. Period. I’m a monster that should never have existed.”

It took a moment, but a single tear slid down his cheek, before being quickly wiped away.

“There’s no other place for me to go unless purgatory is a thing, that’s hell in of itself.” He sniffed, trying to suppress his emotions once more.

“Now, now.” Redgrave cooed, “You’re too hard on yourself, you served your country admirably. You protected many lives back home, that’s not what monsters do, don’t you think?”

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you. While I’m not the sort of person to quote Friedrich Nietzsche, I feel in this case it’s quite apt.”

“And why is that?”

“I’ve spent too long fighting the monsters of my world, and I too have fallen into the trap and turned into one myself. You can give me all the chances you want, and I’ll still do the same thing I’ve done. I might be crying now, thinking back about all the shit I’ve done, but I know if I weren’t dead right now, I would carry on and keep on doing what I’ve been doing for the past 30 years.”

“And what makes you think I want you to change? Or rather you should change?”

“???”

“Isn’t that your job? You are god, right? Aren’t you supposed to judge people for their sins and punish them accordingly? To make them repent?”

Redgrave frowned slightly at that, confused before almost as quickly replaced with a small knowing smile,

“Ah, I think you have me confused with someone else. I’m not that type of god, or rather should I say, those don’t exist.”

“Then…”

Redgrave waved his hand dismissively, and Kalden had the feeling he should shut up now.

“The way we work is simply too long and complicated to explain to someone like you, no offence, people like us are a lot more busy than it might seem.”

“I could imagine,” Kalden snorted sarcastically. “But did you say ‘we’? as in there’s more than one of you?”

“Of course! If it’s only me, there will be no one to push my work to or play around with. It will get boring quick,” He huffed. “but back to our main point… what I’m offering you is a once in a life-time chance. A new life in a new world, think about it, you don’t have to answer to your superiors anymore, no more bullshit assignments, it’s a whole new world! You can choose what you want to do, a clean slate, isn’t that what people like you want? A clean slate to live a new life? Come on, take the chance, and live a little, don’t you agree?”

Kalden opened his mouth, only to find his well-crafted retort stuck in his throat, Redgrave was right, it’s embarrassing to say it but he’s right. He had been so caught up in his work that he forgot all about the other side of life besides work. His job in the military and subsequently in the CIA prevented him from engaging in any sort of meaningful relationship. Even social interactions were kept under wraps, done in the office, a measure to minimize intel leaks.

“Judging by your looks you agree with me, don’t you?”

Kalden slowly nodded, “I guess… but I have to ask, this world you want me to go, is it going to be like those fantasy Esque worlds I’ve seen in Japanese media? Those, what did they call it… ‘Isekai?’”

“Something like that. But The world of Ashitra is way past the medieval age, it’s the year 11930 of the Unification Era there, or in earth terms, the early 1900s, just with fantasy-esque species and a touch of magic.” Redgrave explained.

“Ashitra? Unification Era?”

“Ashitra is what locals called their earth, apparently it's what Earth means in ancient fairies tongue, unification era is the agreed upon notation system for the world, much like the common era you use.”

“I see… Then, are you going to give me some sort of ability?” Kalden was joking when he said that of course, but he did not expect to see Redgrave nodding to that suggestion.

“Naturally! It’s standard procedure for any and all otherworlders to be given at least one ability of their choosing to use in life there.”

Kalden’s eyes widen at that, “There are people from earth living in that world?”

“Yep. It’s rather easy to spot them; actually, they moulded much of Ashitria, they or their ancestors are usually heads of states or other important individuals within the private or public sectors.”

I see…” Kalden wanted to say more, but a sudden wave of dizziness and nausea took over him. His body suddenly felt wrong, out of whack, like everything was wrong, his mind screamed at him incoherently, in confusion while his breathing quickened and heart rate soared.

“What the fuck is happening?” Kalden wheezed, “Everything feels weird like it’s all wrong.”

“Ah. Hmm…” Redgrave pursed his lips, nervously, “That. Might be my doing.”

“Wah?” Kalden slurred back, he wanted to reach out and grab the man by his collar and shake it but found no energy to do so, he doubted he could even move his facial muscles to express his rage at this point.

“It’s… I think it’s easier to show you.” A circular mirror materialized in the man’s hands, and he held it up, to show Kalden’s reflection.

What greeted him was not what he expected.

He expected to see what he had grown used to seeing in the mirror every morning, a tired 65-year old man, with greying, balding hair and small shadows of wrinkles on his forehead.

What greeted him instead was someone entirely different, still very much human, but with a face so young he’s hesitant to call it a man. A teenager at best. Everything Kalden knew about his looks was gone, his greying balding hair had been replaced with a mess of brown hair, so were his wrinkles, and stubbles. The only thing that remained the same from his old look was his pair of dull, tired-looking baby blue eyes; without them, he might have mistaken the reflection for a picture of someone else.

“What the fuck.” the words came rolling out of Kaldens mouth like how a drunkard would as he felt more and more of what strength that remained in his body was being sapped away.

“Yeah… Don’t worry. It's only a temporary side effect while your body gets used to the new body.”

“But why... “ A pause, as Kalden took another laboured breath, “I’m fine with my own body… I don’t need a new one.”

“Tsk-tsk-tsk.” Redgrave shook his head, wagging his finger as a broad, rather obnoxious grin spread across his face, not caring about the suffering Kalden splayed out on the bench beside him.

“That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo. This is a new world! You need a new body for the job. How else are you going to explore this new world? To experience its pleasures? To fight new enemies? You need a new body for that.

“You…” Kalden gave up. There was no point in arguing with him, better to let the darkness take him than fight it.