I should stop here. I don’t want to show up for my first lesson with a completely dried-up Will, after all.

Adion stopped his meditation and got up from his bed, stretching his body slightly before heading out of his room.

Adion had gotten a new room now that his teammates had left. The inn he was staying at now was closer to Hevima and a lot cheaper than the hotel he had stayed at previously. Even if Adion had money, he didn’t really need anything more than a bed to sleep on. There was no need to splurge for no reason; who knew when he would find himself in need of the money he had wasted on a fancy room.

Adion left the inn and started walking down the streets of Rethi toward his new teacher’s store. A feeling of melancholy once again began rising in his chest. Even if his teammates had only left the city the day before, Adion was feeling their absence. The thought of them getting further and further away from him every moment gave Adion an uneasy feeling.

I’ll get used to it. And I’ll see them again eventually. Now, I need to make the most of my time here to figure out how to use shadow magic.

It didn’t take Adion long before he found himself in front of Hevima once again. He made his way inside and immediately approached Ferrith, who was standing behind the counter as always, seemingly busy with nothing.

Adion didn’t even get a word out before Ferrith gestured for the stairs behind him.

Right, guess I can just head up then.

Adion found Quahim sitting on a carpet on the floor when he got upstairs. Quahim’s eyes were closed, but Adion suspected he knew Adion was there, so he simply waited in silence for Quahim to finish what he was doing.

“Conjure some shadows,” Quahim said after a few seconds, opening his eyes to look at Adion, “Let me see what you can do.”

“Right,” Adion nodded. He focused on the pure mana surrounding him, almost turning it to fire mana on instinct.

Shadow mana, come on.

Adion wasn’t completely useless in his shadow magic. Even if it wasn’t a lot, he had spent some time practicing his shadow mana control. He could have used the shadow mana present in the room, but from Adion’s experience in conjuring fire from pure mana, he knew that would be more effective as he got used to it. And pure mana would always be present, a much safer bet than counting on there to always be enough shadow mana around.

It took a while for Adion to succeed, but eventually, he had conjured what he thought was a fair amount of shadow. Unfortunately, his control was horrendous. The shadow was only visible as a small dark cloud above his palm for a second before it scattered. Adion felt how some of his conjured shadow gathered in the shadows already present in the room.

It took almost as much Will as conjuring a ball of fire…I guess I could hold onto it if I had used my Authority, but that isn’t something I want to reveal in front of Quahim.

My Authority over shadow isn’t as absolute as my authority over fire and space either, so I could need a lesson in how to keep control over it.

“I see,” Quahim nodded, “You’re a fire mage, right?”

“Yes,” Adion nodded.

Did I tell him that? Maybe he felt my fire affinity along with my shadow affinity. It might be the case that my affinity for space is so strange that he couldn’t recognize it, therefore assuming I have a fire core. Even Fellion couldn’t tell I had a space core after all. He just knew my core was of an element he hadn’t seen before.

But I have an affinity to water, too…Could he somehow tell it was weaker? I’ll have to ask how he can feel affinities in aura before I leave.

“Why do you want to learn shadow magic? Fire should be a lot more powerful, and you’ll have your core to aid you,” Quahim said.

“I just feel that I should make use of my affinity,” Adion said, “I will still give most of my attention to fire, as that is where my power lies. But shadow feels like a very unique and valuable support to master. I would at least like to know what shadow magic can do. I’ve never seen anyone use it before.”

“Hm,” Quahim nodded. He then got up from his sitting position and approached one of the empty canvases placed by a big window. He took some paint and arranged it expertly on a palette.

“Paint something,” Quahim said, handing Adion the palette and a painting brush.

“Paint? I thought we were going to practice shadow magic?” Adion questioned.

“This is practice,” Quahim said.

Adion looked at Quahim questioningly.

“Magic is not so easy to learn. Especially something as concepts-heavy as shadow,” Quahim said, “I find painting to be a good way of grasping aspects of shadows. You need it for a painting to come alive. And this shadow, you can perfectly control.”

“I guess I see what you mean,” Adion said hesitantly, “But I’m kind of in a hurry. I don’t think I’ll have time to paint and slowly grasp concepts. Wouldn’t it be better to focus on the practical aspects first? I can always paint by myself later on.”

“The youth is always in such a hurry,” Quahim muttered, “Never want to take the proper steps.”

“Well,” Adion said, “I am in a bit of a hurry, though. I’m not going to get anywhere in a few weeks by painting.”

“A few weeks? You’re just 16. You have a year before you need to head to Cyalis in time for admissions.”

Adion hesitated. He hadn’t actually clarified that he was only planning on staying a short while.

“I was planning on going to Cyalis early,” Adion said, “I stayed behind because you offered to teach me shadow magic. But I still need to get going in a few weeks.”

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“You think you can learn anything in a few weeks?” Quahim questioned, “Better not waste my time then.”

“What do you mean?” Adion asked.

“I know I’m the one who offered to teach you, so I won’t complain. But I won’t start teaching you shadow magic if you’re just going to scurry off before we can get anywhere. It’s a waste of both of our time.”

What? You’re saying that now?

“Even if I didn’t have to head to Cyalis, I couldn’t waste a year's time learning shadow magic,” Adion said, a little defensive, “I just need an introduction. And I can focus more on it once I’m older and stronger.”

“Older and stronger,” Quahim muttered, “When you’re young is exactly the time to focus on these things. You’re too much in a hurry for everything. Proper results take time.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Adion said, “You’re already old and powerful.”

Adion was getting a little upset. He knew Quahim didn’t owe him anything. But Adion felt like he was looked at as a fool for not wanting to waste a year on something that wouldn’t increase his strength, when strength was what he needed more than anything at the moment.

“Old? Yes,” Quahim nodded, “But getting old isn’t all that. You spend the most of your time missing your youth. And in the grand scheme of things, I’m not very powerful. There is always someone stronger, Adion. You will live your whole life always being weaker than someone. The sooner you accept that, the better, or your life will be a miserable existence of feeling powerless.”

“If I get stronger than everyone else, I won’t have to feel that,” Adion said, “So that’s what I plan on doing.”

Quahim just stared at Adion, no expression on his face.

“I hope you come to change your mind,” Quahim said, “There are many things more worth pursuing than strength.”

“I know,” Adion nodded, “I just don’t think I’ll be free to pursue them if I don’t have strength. Will you be able to continue painting if a Soul mage shows up and decides to destroy everything here? Decides to kill you?”

“I won’t,” Quahim conceded, “But it’s been working so far. And I would bet I will be able to continue painting in peace for the remainder of my lifespan. You can always die. Even if you become the strongest mage in the world. A world-ending event can occur just like during the Age of Wonder, leaving you powerless despite all your strength. A life spent on pursuing something entirely useless.”

Then I’ll be even stronger.

“It’s not like you can’t enjoy life while pursuing strength at the same time,” Adion said, “The reason I’m heading for Cyalis early is to see my family.”

“That’s why you're in such a hurry?” Quahim questioned, “Youth is truly foolish.”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been preaching?” Adion asked.

“I don’t think strength is stupid,” Quahim responded, “I am a Diamond mage, after all. I realize that your freedom to do as you wish increases as you grow stronger. What I question is that you’re throwing away opportunities in life that may not come again because you’re in such a hurry to grow strong. That, to me, is letting life slip you by.”

“So you think I should take a year to practice shadow magic instead of seeing my family? I haven’t seen them in four years. To me, that’s letting life slip you by.” Adion argued.

“A valid point,” Quahim nodded, “But your family will still be there even in a year, I suppose? You would have all the time in the world to spend with them then. If that’s your goal and what you plan on doing, you should go. But my guess is that you won’t stay with them. You will leave again after a few years. We all do. You will continue to travel, to grow. Perhaps you will realize that you need to find someone to teach you shadow magic, wasting a lot more than a year in your journey to do so. So, is it really about filling up your life with time spent with your family? Or is it a youthful impulse? You want to see them now, of course you do. You want to grow strong now, of course you do. But your life is not tomorrow. It is not the coming week, month, or year. It’s hard to see just how far your life stretches when you’re young.”

Does he have a point?

“Which is why the young should listen to their elders,” Quahim said, flicking Adion's forehead, “And the elder is telling you to paint.”

Not sure I agree. But I guess there’s no harm in painting for a while.

Adion didn’t say anything in response. He grabbed the brush and palette and sat down in front of the canvas.

What should I paint? I don’t even know how to paint.

Adion grabbed his brush and started mixing some colors. Perhaps it was the talk about his family, but Adion thought he could see the color of his mother’s hair in the mixture. He experimented with mixing the different colors some more, wanting to get it exactly right.

It took him almost fifteen minutes, but finally, Adion felt satisfied. He started putting paint on the canvas, and a picture similar to ‘Hermillin’s last drink’ appeared in Adion’s mind. But instead of the back of the head of an old man, he drew the back of his mother’s head. Her long blonde hair falling across her shoulders.

Adion wasn’t going for the feeling of an old man experiencing the last bout of nostalgia in his life. Instead, he thought he could almost tell how his mother was smiling, even if all you could see was the blonde hair.

Adion sat for hours, completely absorbed. He drew his brother and sister vaguely in the background. In his mind, they were training together in the training grounds at the Remori manor. It was far from perfect. Just a lot of blonde hair, hinting at two characters in the background. But Adion had to admit something stirred within him as he looked at the finished painting.

“What’s it called?” Quahim asked as Adion put down his brush.

“A mother’s smile,” Adion said. He noticed that his voice was coming out a little shaky.

Are my eyes starting to tear up? I can’t cry in front of Quahim because of something I painted.

“It’s beautiful,” Quahim said.

Somehow, it felt more significant than any compliment Adion had ever heard.

“I’ll go get us something to eat,” Quahim said, turning around, “I’ll show you some shadow magic when we’ve finished.”

“Right,” Adion nodded absentmindedly. He turned to look out the window. People were out enjoying the warmth of the sun, smiling at the signs of spring.

This wasn’t so bad. But I don’t think it increased my understanding of shadow.

Adion turned to look at his painting again.

Why do I feel so proud of it? How embarrassing.

“Haaah,” Adion let out a shaky sigh.

What should I do? What do I want? What would be best for me? Quahim had a point when he said that life is not just today, next week, month, or year. Should I stay and make full use of this experience? Can I take it? I really want to see everyone again.

To keep my family safe, I need to get strong. It won’t matter if I can see them now if I’m too weak to protect them in the future. We will have centuries together if I can get strong enough. Considering that, is it really a good decision to turn away perhaps the only chance of learning shadow magic that I will ever encounter? I have a small amount of Authority over it, and I can definitely see it being useful.

Adion turned to look at his painting again. Smiling at the thought of his mother’s smile behind all the hair.

It took Quahim over thirty minutes to return with food, perhaps taking his time out of consideration for Adion’s shaky state. Adion wasn’t concerned, though. He hadn’t spent any more time thinking about complicated decisions. He had simply been enjoying the thought of his mother’s smile.