The portal took fifteen minutes before I finally stepped out onto a cliff edge, overlooking a vast desert of sand. As I looked out over the shifting dunes, I heard a voice in my head,

{system updated. Universal translator activated, full mental protection active. Scanning surroundings, updating map info. If the user would like to deactivate mental protection, just think deactivate protection.}

Reaching up to my ear, I feel a lump inside the earlobe, pressing it until I hear the voice again.

{How may I help you, Slate Collins?}

"What are you, and why are you in my ear?" I ask in an annoyed voice; I swear if those twins sold me faulty goods, I'd tear their tower apart piece by piece.

{I am the A.I. interface for the U.T.M.P. U; (universal translator and mental protection unit) you purchased from Cerulean Enterprises.}

"Okay, yes, I purchased that but, only the mental protection ever worked. How come it's online now?"

{Apologies, I could not link with your cerebral cortex, as I should have, until that Portal glitched and made a tiny opening in your earlobe.} replied the monotonous voice in my head.

"I see well, excellent work. Do you, by chance, know what happened to my suit and belt?"

{No, it is outside my purview, if you have no more pertinent questions, have a nice day.}

Looking down at my now silver suit, I see there are no seams or a zipper. How do I take this off if I want to take a leak? I wonder, when suddenly, as the thought finished, my entire outfit merged with my body. Now I am standing here naked as the day I was born. Okay, that felt weird, however very useful.

After willing my suit back, I think about changing the color. Although it took a good half an hour, I got it to look close enough to my original black ensemble. When I had it right, I looked around myself again and frowned no, this suit doesn't fit the local decor, so I change it to look like a Hawaiian shirt and some tan colored khaki shorts. However, I changed my shoes into some comfortable white walking shoes, with the tops merged into my body; I hate sand in my shoes.

Finished with that, I notice a massive planet taking most of my sky, with a few small moons around it, probably more on the other side. I also notice lights from cities dotted all over the planet's night side and a few on several moons. At least I won't have to go far for civilization. I wonder what colony this is. I have kept a fairly close eye on the reports and can't think of any that could have grown to this extent. However, would the federation tell us if they had something like this out here? This leads to why they wanted me here in the first place. I honestly can't think of any reason they would want my help with one of their colonies unless it was being attacked. The federation for sure knows I wouldn't rescue them if a colony decided that they didn't need so much government oversight and kicked them out.

Scanning around again, I frown. Which way to go? Bouncing lightly, I notice the gravity is not much different from earth, surprising me again. I realize I'm on a moon, so either that world is stupidly massive, or this moon is extremely solid.

Shrugging it off, I spin around with my eyes closed for a minute and use my aura to soar into the air and head in that direction. I believe I mentioned I hate sand, so I will stay high in the sky. About an hour into the flight, I spot a small mountain jutting out of the sand and decide that's as good a place as any to get my bearings.

Landing, I look around again but still see nothing anywhere. Did I really get the only moon without an inhabitant? Good thing, I need not breathe much. My body automatically filters out the slight atmosphere and takes what I need.

Sitting down on a flat rock overlooking the desert all around, I notice disturbances in the sand in a few spots. Eventually, while watching these places, I saw an insectoid head poke out, followed by a massive armored body, nearly thirty feet long. Whistling at its size, I think, well, at least I'm not alone, but that doesn't look friendly nor edible, so I will leave it alone. Using my aura, I flatten a forty-foot by forty-foot section of the mountain, reach into my spatial pouch, and retrieve a small brown cube. Camping requires a cabin, good thing I always carry one with me. Pressing a small button on the side of the cube, I toss it down and watch a twenty by twenty log cabin unfold in place.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Walking inside, there is a small kitchen area to one side, a small closet with a sink, shower, and a toilet in the back. In another corner, a bed and dresser. After a quick shower, I make myself a burger from the supplies in the small fridge, grab a bottled water and head out to a rocking chair on the back porch to watch the sun…. planet set on the horizon. I watched the planet sink and saw that I was correct. There are several more moons out there. Also, I had to retreat into the cabin when the sun hit me: the temperature increased to well over one hundred and fifty degrees Fahrenheit. While not remotely harmful to me, it is uncomfortable, and to me, in my old age, comfort is more important. So I went to bed.

I awoke a couple hours later to a pounding on my front door, grumbling the entire way about rude people waking an old man. I open my door only to see a short green-skinned person pointing what could only be some kind of weapon at me. Looking down puzzled, I tell him, "whatever your selling I'm not interested." Then turned and walked back into my kitchen area, starting some coffee and a bowl of oatmeal. The little green man (I assume it's a man anyway) took me leaving the door open as an invitation because when I turned around, I saw him glancing around with his weapon holstered.

With a raised eyebrow, I placed a bowl on the table, waving the person over, then poured a cup of coffee for him. After I had my oatmeal and coffee, I sat across from him and began eating while my visitor took what looked like a tiny vial with a grub inside. I watched him give the worm a portion of the oatmeal and coffee, and when the thing turned green, the man smiled and began eating.

When the meal was over, I rubbed my ear and asked if the translator would work and got a reply, "I need more data."

My visitor saw me rubbing my ear and talking. Then he began nodding, rubbing his own, and began talking nonstop, so I did the same, just saying random nonsense until we apparently both got what we needed for our translations. The first thing my friend said was, "Good evening traveler, my name is Gregory, and this is my mountain."

"I apologize. I wasn't aware and will compensate you for damages," I said, looking chagrined.

Gregory just waved me off, "no harm done. I wanted a place to put a landing pad, anyway." Then more seriously, "Are you from the planet or a moon?"

Neither, I responded. I walked through a portal on my homeworld. Something glitched and sent me here. I do not know where I am.

"I see that makes sense, as most fear your kind as monsters. Many tales of Humans are told to keep the young in line. It is strange, though we have had no visitors for many millennia. Not since the humans came in their massive ships and tried to enslave our worlds. When we fought them off, we took all that they left and pushed our civilization farther than ever before, in our history."

"That is strange. If humans know you're here, they will return. If war doesn't work, they should have at least tried diplomacy?" I said, confused; it is not like humanity to give up on anything.

"Oh, we found it strange. In fact, the various races from across the system came together and retrofitted and repaired what was left from the ships during the battle, creating what we now call the royal armada."

"but when they never returned, we followed their trail back to their homeworld. It wasn't hard as we had captured many of their ships. All we found was a dead system, with ruins on the third planet, we even found the remains of the fleet that attacked us, adrift around the gas giant."

"Have you found any of our colonies?" I ask, suddenly feeling sick.

"Honestly, we didn't look, we're not really the explorer types. We took the drifting fleet of ships and left that graveyard, and we haven't left our system since. At that last remark," Gregory looked sad.

"Well," I stood and said, "I have no interest in being put into a zoo, so I guess I shall search out my people myself and should anyone want to join me. I might take a small crew of curious explorers, who want more than just staying in a bunker system, forever."

"Oh, my name's Slate Collins," I held out my hand to my new friend, who took it and replied, "Great to meet you, Mr. Collins."