Bob, Mork's climber for hire, used his grappling skill to climb onto to the neck of the dragon. He had gotten off a good shot. The first two hadn't worked, but Bob was not one who would easily back down from a strange and unnecessary challenge.
The first thing he noticed was that the dragon wasn't really paying attention to them.
Sure, it had initially dipped a bit from its position in the air but it had quickly recovered. Then as he got closer to it, he realized that its eyes were so far off of what he was expecting that he just needed to look away.
He promised himself that if he slayed the dragon, that he would take a good long look. He was equally promising himself that as a treat, he wouldn't.
It was like being at the bakery and promising himself that he would get a steak for lunch from across the the street at the place that made those bagel pizzas he loved so much. It wasn't until they had stopped making them that he had really been thrown for a loop.
Hoboken was a place meant for rich kid fads after all.
With his ranger skills, he was more than strong enough to climb up without using his legs.
The grappling hook itself had a rope at its base that he was certain was some sort of metal. Probably a titanium alloy or something ridiculous. At the end of it, when he finally got to the dragon's neck, was a hook that had been sunk deeply in dragon's flesh. As he got to the top he realized that the grappling hook was both his savior and the thing that was going to destroy him if he did this right.
The dragon had him in his mercy. The dragon was also unpredictable and was now circling around the sea monster, launching the black flame into the water.
Bob had been forgotten, a mere insect to the dragon he could barely get his legs around the neck of.
Black flames that had already launched was doing its best to do an urban renovation project on the western half of the city. He saw a fault line dipped through at a median point before he realized that he was just avoiding his duties. With a sigh, he mounted the dragon's neck.
It was more apparent than ever that this was an undead dragon, and Bob was willing to bet his mom's heritage cake recipe that this dragon had been cobbled together from various orc parts, instead of parts of a dragon.
None of the bones matched.
Everything was slip shod, something that screamed, 'Put together at the last minute by the lowest bidder'.
Then Bob realized that he was going to have to figure out a way to not get bucked off of the dragon's neck.
So he tied a knot from the end of his grappling hook as well as he could. He was really relying on his class skills at this point in time, more than anything that he could ever think of. The edge of the rope was around his waist tied in a square knot, and his left arm was at the ready and this was when Bob realized that he didn't have a plan for this part.
Like every city dog that has finally caught a car, Bob did not know what to do next. What did a dog do with a car once it's caught up to it? Well in this case, Bob being the dog, wanted to kill the dragon.
Capturing it to use for good seemed a bit out of the question.
Though it would be incredible to ride and train a dragon, this one didn't seem the type.
Seeing as how upon closer inspection the dragon was just many ensemble parts of individual orcs, he did not know if it would have any weaknesses.
He tried to think back as to how they killed one of the death knights before as this dragon seemed to be on the same level threat. This singular foe leaked an aura of power close to his own. Anthony had said something about...what had he said about fighting the death knights?
Oh yeah, Anthony had told him not to solo any death knights.
Well this wasn't a death knight.
Purple magic circled his right hand as he placed it palm down onto the back of the dragon's neck. He poured mana into healing, something that he had only done as the backup dancer to Anthony's main event. He was surprised to find a deep well just waited to be tapped and put into work.
Perhaps Mork had decided that today was a day that he would get blessed.
He really wanted to check his cards and see if he had leveled up something somewhere, but he knew that this would just be a distraction and that at some point in time his work would have some effect on the dragon.
Bob's body was electric, as every part of his being focused in on pouring healing magic through the dragon.
He realized that a small weight on his shoulder turned out to be his special girl. The eldritch feline that had done so much for him had stayed on and rode him up as the Dragon Express.
"Hey guy, if you wouldn't mind cutting through some of those tendons over there. I would appreciate it if you could hit the base of those wings maybe?"
Ca'at meowed in response. It sounded like a yes. He was going to hope for a yes.
Often, the cat did just exactly what it wanted to do instead. It was a true master of malicious compliance unless its orders were exactly what it wanted to do. The true fact was that he really thought all it wanted to do was cut up and butcher his enemies in order to steal their cards and present them to him like they were little birds and he was so proud.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Bob was really proud of the little guy and all his efforts.
A lance of ice flew past him and he realized that he might not be fighting a sea monster, but the undead dragon definitely was. Bob looked out to see if there was anything else that he needs to take a look for.
He had to duck to avoid a goat stone.
The dragon was flying circles lazily inland and then out into the quiet sea. It was taking its time between the two, really pissing him off as he realized that he was going to be subject to attacks from both ends.
But Bob, who had grown had up as a middle child of four was used to attacks on both sides.
He just realized that it was time for him to go dry. The healing magic that poured off of him and into the dragon, redoubled its efforts. Bob sent himself down with his left hand with his right hand, turning the orcish flesh into green vapor. At the same time some of his healing siphoned off to heal himself.
At this point, an observer would not be able to see what the heck was going on due to all of the green smoke and pink flame, both effects of his magic. The dragons flight dipped, jerking the ranger up and down. Bob was suddenly realizing that he did not have an escape plan.
"Maybe cut only one wing?" He yelled to Ca'at.
He didn't want to turn but he could feel it happily doing its process. The cat had its own version of the mise en place. This of course meant that it got set up to kill or butcher and then took its time but it built up to a crescendo.
When his right side dipped, and he heard a splash door below. Bob realized that the wings were not the only thing holding up the dragon. The dragon's head witched back and forth. Trying to turn on him but he had destroyed some sort of muscle in it, causing it to be unable to raise itself up.
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"Sonya? Is Bob riding a dragon?" Anthony said.
"Yes he is riding a dragon. And it looks like he's cut off one of the wings? And there it goes, falling off..."
"Fucking Bob."
"Fucking Bob indeed."
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The problem with riding a dragon that didn't want you on its back, was that it could buck you off and you would be at its mercy.
That was not a problem that Bob had thoroughly examined before this point in time. But now he was realizing that he had tied their faces together and perhaps this was not the best idea.
Ca'at was still on the back working on the left wing, as Bob was feeling more and more that he was about to make a splashdown.
The dragon was losing altitude and the sea monster?
It looked hungry.
It being the kind of thing that had no qualms about eating other sea monsters, would like a large green snack of indeterminate origin. It just so happened that Bob was on top of that snack and he very much did not want to be there.
So when the opportunity arose to depart, bob was busy undoing his grappling hook. The dragon, rather than continuing to circle with one wing was now leaning heavily on its right side, still trying to do what it was doing before but now exposing him to the magic of the summoned goats and the sea monster.
He was between a monster and a rock.
Bob came to his senses and realized that he was not going to win this one. But his card told him that he could easily unsummon it so he did, holding on with his left hand to one of the dragon's bony scales.
He re-summoned it, attaching it to the dragon's main body, right behind them and then realized that he was going to have to rappel down from a dragon, Bob as he often does just winged it. He used his left hand to verify that the grappling hook was fully stated inside of the orc flesh that made up the dragon. Then, using his other three limbs he jumped free, waiting for the point in time in which they were over water.
Bob now realized the further extent of his current quandary.
He was at the very edge of his rope and still had about a two-story dive to the water. To add to this fact, he only had about ten seconds before the dragon circled back to the land. He did not want to drop two stories to land. But he left his familiar off on the dragon, believing it to take care of its business as he felt the dragon was not long for this flight.
It was about that time that one of the ships poked up in front of them and he realized that the choice was going to be made for him.
He said a quick prayer to Mork, and then released his grip on the road, aligning with the webbing of one of the ships in front of him. He slammed hard against the ship, knotting himself into the webbing and then spammed his healing on himself.
He was really hoping that he would get out of this with a mild concussion at worst. He could of course, unsummon ca'at.
What he could not have foreseen was that the sea monster would take one look at the rope dangling from the dragon and see it as a way to get its prey closer to itself. The neck of the sea monster extended up not looking at Bob.
That it was definitely a plesiosaur.
The plesiosaur tugged as the dragon was roughly pulled out of its path of travel.
Bob could hear the yowling of a cat and mentally unsummoned his familiar. It was going to be a while before it was able to stop with him again after he was already regretting that he'd have to wait hours to get the best cards off of the battlefield.
Bob realized that he was looking at the spectacle over the side of the ship and decided maybe he need to check out his own situation and secure himself before anything else happened. Bob, looks down, then looked up up and over and seeing no zombies below him realized that he was a bit far out.
He was probably next to one of the jetties that had supported the boats. Climbing up over the top of the side, there were several zombies there waiting for him.
Bob smiled.
Unlike the dragon, he knew exactly how to dispatch these guys.
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"So now, the dragon and the sea monster are fighting?"
"It's more like the sea monster is using the dragon as a very large yo-yo. He is hulking that dragon back and forth."
"Hulking is a verb now?"
"Would you describe that. It's like he's slamming it into the water so hard. Ah! The water is just letting itself be a wall of iron or something."
"If a dragon got slammed into a wall of iron, I think that the wall would crumple first. Well that's what I think."
"I'm so glad that I bought you the tickets to zombie dragon bash."
"You know what you are the best boyfriend ever. I'm just hoping that Stella won't get super mad about this because they've got this thing about him going off on tangents and trying to do everything himself."
"Literally what could? What could Stella do? Mork keeps giving Bob all these blessings and that was probably one another one of his tricks right there."
Anthony and Sonia sighed deeply.
"Well at least Cara decided that she was going to have a little competition with Mork so I can get bought back for Stella."
"At least there was that," Anthony said. "Plus look at all those damn goats! I cannot wait to hear this story. Do you think that was Sophie?"
"That had to have been Sophie. And now she's drawing them towards the water of course. I wonder what shenanigans they're going to get into. I really hope that the sea monster doesn't just turn the goats into a thin paste."
"There is a lot of Hope going around today and not a lot of common sense. I would like it if we had some more common sense. Maybe at the next group therapy session we can talk about how to not do stupid things that make people mad at you like this?"
"Maybe."
"What are you two on about?" Valerie said.
"Oh nothing!" They both said.
"Well good because I have a solution to our dragon problem," the teenage dwarf said.
"Have you guys been paying attention to the guy who climbed up on top of the dragon and then cut one of its wings off?"
"We have yes. And Andrew is angry that he's going to have to modify his design again. Andrew works very good under pressure but this is getting kind of ridiculous."