The next day, Max led him the opposite direction from their previous lesson. They hiked down to the foot of a hill into which the entrance to a cave had been carved. Kel expected it to be dark but found that the cave was actually brighter than what he had expected. In the center of the cave a tree was burning. From a distance, it looked like it might just have autumn leaves, changed to bright yellow and red by the strange seasons here. Nope. It was on fire - every leaf, every scrap of bark immolating with no apparent signs of decay.
Kel gave Max an incredulous look. “I’m not quite sure I can spend the day touching fire.”
“I can guarantee you won’t have too.” The mage chuckled. “Have a seat.” She waved her hand through the air and a couple of cushions appeared on the ground.
Kel sat cross legged, his hands resting on his knees. “So what do we do now?”
“I want you to concentrate on the flame. Consider the fire, the flame and its warmth. Converse to your technique with earth, I don’t want you to quiet your thoughts. I want you to inflame them. See those thoughts in the flame. Let it lead you to your active desires rather than-”
“-rather than allowing myself to fall into a coma?”
The sorceress smirked. “Yes. You should feel more alive and awake. The thoughts awakened should be active desires - things that motivate you.”
“Okay. I think I see what you’re saying.” Kel relaxed and stared at the tree. One of the burning leaves fell from the tree and floated until it hit the floor of the cave with a sizzle. It lay there, still burning.
“When your thoughts are loud,” Max instructed, “at the center of your consciousness and in vibrant detail, I want you to focus that into your dominant hand and snap.” She did so, producing a miniature bonfire in the palm of her hand. She closed her hand, extinguishing it. “Sorry, that was probably distracting. Go ahead - you try.”
Kel tried for about an hour. As he let his mind wander, his thoughts ended up being much more fire-related than desire. He remembered all of the fires he started in winters past, using a simple bow, a block of wood, and kindling. He would wrap the bow string around a stick and draw it back and forth, creating enough heat between the stick and the block that eventually it set the kindling on fire.
Several times, he felt something like a great warmth funnel down his arm at will. He concentrated, wanting nothing more than a flame to spring from his hand. He snapped. Nothing.
By about the fourth time this happened, he stood up in frustration. “What am I doing wrong?” Sweat dripped down the boy's forehead and back.
“Well, I guess the last thing you need is friction.”
“What do you mean?” Kel huffed, impatient.
“I would say this - you have been thinking of a simple desire, haven't you? Something safe. What was it?”
“To produce a flame.”
“Oh gods, I wish I had known that. No, you need something more. Tell me, why are you here. Why are you training with me?”
“I want to go to the academy. To become a true wizard.”
“That is not entirely true, is it?”
“But it is true. It’s all I want.”
“Kelvin Fellow, that is not all you want and you know it. What is your chief desire. The thing that drives you?”
“I want to see my mother and my brother again. I want them to be home, safe in our world.”
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“There it is,” she raised a finger. “Something that is truly to be sought. Something that gets your heart pumping, your blood drumming in your ears. Think of that as you watch the flame.” She gestured toward the cushions and they began again.
The flames danced and this time, Kel stared with intention. He was panting with exhaustion. The cave was stifling and dry. He felt angry, but it wasn’t the dull rage that he felt towards the Mayor or Derry or even Poe. This was constructive anger. Productive. He felt…motivated. He would read all the books, learn every spell. He would rip open a portal in the fabric of space and time and drag his family back if he had to.
“Focus,” Max intoned.
He alone would get them back, if it was the last thing he did. He’d burn down the academy if they didn’t let him in. He’d summon a thousand demons if it would help.
“Focus,” Max once again implored. “Use that energy and replicate my movements. Do it…now.” She clapped.
Kel snapped back into focus and concentrated. All of the pain from the last five years, the anger at a loss he could not prevent: he channeled all of it into his hands. He could feel the spirit of fire flowing through him, branching through his limbs and veins until he knew the moment was right. And then he snapped.
A small flame extended from his thumb, the size of one produced by a match.
"That’s it?” he looked at it sidelong as it continued to burn without fuel above his fingertips.
“You’ve produced flame from nothing but your own desires, Kel. I’d say that’s quite an achievement.” Max smirked. He really couldn’t tell if she was laughing at him inside or not. She always seemed to be, one way or another. “Stay here for a while, practice shifting the flame. Manipulate it. Try to move it away from your body. Then try to generate it from a distance.”
“Aren’t you going to help me?
“We’ve done the hard part. And you already know, working with the element of desire is immensely personal. I don’t want to hinder your growth and I’m sure there are other things you desire that you’d rather not tell me.”
His hand momentarily rose to the touch the pendant under his shirt.
Max gave him a perceptive nod and walked to the entrance of the cave. “See you at dinner, Kel. Don’t be late.”
At dusk, Kel stumbled in, his legs a bit stiff from sitting for the last few hours. Jasper sat strumming in the corner, apparently entertaining Max while she stirred something in a grand pot atop the stove. It smelled delicious.
“How did it go?” Jasper asked, pausing his song for the moment. The Magus looked over, expectantly.
“I have attuned myself with actually wanting to sleep for once.” Kel wabbled over to the table and sat down. Grim sat at the foot of the table, watching them expectantly. Did familiars eat food?
“The problem with being exposed to pure, unadulterated passion all day, I suppose.” She turned back to her cooking and sprinkled a pinch of something into the pot. “Were you able to manipulate the flame?” She paused, cut a slice of bread with a slab of butter and carried it over to Kel. He accepted it greedily.
“Sort of,” He said with a mouth full of bread.
“Great - you can practice again tomorrow. Perhaps on the lawn this time. That tree is…well, it’s not good to use it as a crutch. ”
Kel nodded, not much caring for the details. His magical education had, so far, held plenty of warning. Almost turning to stone had been bad enough. His eyes were rather bleary, now that he thought about it. It probably wasn’t good for anyone to stare at a fire all day.
“Do you know how to cook, Kelvin Fellow?” His tutor quite deliberately interrupted his thoughts.
Kel blinked. “I can make a stew. And I learned how to roast rabbits and pheasants.”
“Excellent. Then you can help me cook tomorrow.” Max seemed pleased.
“And is that going to teach me how to combine the elements?”
“No, I just really hate cooking. What mistress of magic should have to cook for herself? Better have the apprentice do it.” She laughed a laugh that held equal amounts of mirth and, had Kel been experienced enough to hear it, loneliness.
"Oh come on, can't Jasper do it?"
"I already tried - he ended up ruining scrambled eggs. How does a man ruin scrambled eggs!?"
"They were merely blackened. I thought they were perfect." The musician turned up his nose, pretending to be incensed. Kel was pretty sure he detected a smile. The bard had probably burned them on purpose.
When all were fed and it was time to go to bed, Max poured herself a chalice of something that looked a lot like wine before rising from the table. “Sleep well, Kel. You’re going to need it.” She turned, chalice in hand. “One side-effect I should mention: your dreams tonight may be a bit…vivid.”
That night, after all of the figures and footnotes of the books he studied faded from Kel’s mind, he dreamed of the other desire that he had used for his fire-work. It was a vivid dream, just as Max had said it would be, but he wasn’t full of the angry motivation he had felt with his fire-work before. No, this dream was a happy dream, one that was full of pure joy. Kel dreamed of animal pelts against his skin, the taste of delicious roasted chicken, the sound of laughter.
His heart was beating like a drum when he awoke in the morning.