NADYA

Kaki and I depart after Lightened Roe's performance. She tried to talk to Kaki and I a little bit, but was just as awkward as her invitation in the library had been, and we all gave up at fruitful conversation.

Her performance was wonderful--a jolly jig on her wind-pipe, but was very much overshadowed by Lightened Chrysan.

We all filter out into the courtyard. Kaki and I mostly wander in silence, which does not happen often. We make our way back to Gerasim's wing, towards Kaki's chamber, when we hear a crash and a sudden amount of yelling.

We turn the corner.

Miss Gennadi crouches on the ground as a glass suddenly shatters at her feet. I freeze and Kaki places an arm out in front of me, stepping forward, just around the corner. “What—”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

I recognize the two women that stand before Miss Gennadi. They are of high class, but not noble. They do not have a position in the Courts nor noble children, so I do not know their names, but they frequent the courtyard enough. They wear expensive dreams and elaborate braids. The woman to the right has sharp features. Her arm bleeds and looks to have been cut by the glass scattered all over the ground. There is a tray in arms reach and a strange white liquid covers the floor.

I have seen acts of unkindness, shameful things. The 'Pure' noble children once teased Kai, but the worst of their 'pranks' left him beaten down and broken, though this stopped a few cycles ago. I thought it to be a phase of youth, for even the other servant children can be shameful towards each other. Adults are nothing but civil.

So I gasp just as I did during the play when one of the women suddenly kicks her heel into Miss Gennadi’s stomach. The action is not aggressive. It is almost… gentle. A slow grinding of the foot into her sternum.

"Gennadi. Every day I see your face and I cannot stand it. Enlightened Everleigh has forgotten who you are, but the rest of us have not. Can not. You Red Bird."

“Do not call me that,” Miss Gennadi hisses. “Do not call me that.”

The second woman is short and stubby and much older. Thick black growths protrude from the side of her head. When Miss Gennadi tries to stand, the second woman says something so foul that we are all left in shock and Miss Gennadi sits herself down.

Kaki turns the corner. I try to grab him, but it’s too late. “Hey! What are you doing?” he demands.

I expect the women to shy down, to blush in shame. They do not. They stare at him with a ferociousness that stuns me. I step forward, grabbing Kaki’s arm. I feel the sudden urge to run. My plague-gift runs through my veins, my legs growing stronger, and I turn him around.

Before we can make a break for it, we crash into a figure. Upon seeing who it is, I squeak.

Enlightened Everleigh appears with Enlightened Daniya. The sound of a chamber door closing a few legs away echoes through the hallway.

Enlightened Daniya is someone I have seen even less than Enlightened Alranath. She hardly ever leaves her chamber is is said to no longer speak unless it is to another Enlightened. She is the near opposite of white-haired, white-eyed Enlightened Everleigh. She has no hair and her dark skin only emphasizes the brightness of her blue eyes. She wears a nightgown, covering every part of arms and legs and juvenielle in its quality. There is nothing noble about her except for the way she holds herself.

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“Kani?” Enlightened Everleigh says. Her voice sounds as distant as ever. “Arella? What are you doing?”

“Nothing, Enlightened,” one woman says. The second finally looks away, unable to bring herself to words.

“You look so old,” Enlightened Everleigh murmurs after a moment’s pause.

They exchange a glance. I do not like the way their eyes glimmer. “Yes. We are getting up there in cycles. Please, excuse us.”

They move past the Enlighteneds, not even daring to take a second glance at Kaki. Did I imagine that burning hatred?

“Okay,” Enlightened Everleigh says. “Goodbye.”

Enlightened Daniya stares at the back wall, unmoving.

Kaki is already hurried from my side, kneeling down to help Miss Gennadi up. I follow, but Enlightened Evelrigh beats me to it, moving faster than I have ever seen her move.

She nearly shoves Kaki away in order to embrace Miss Gennadi. It is an intimate embrace, not the embrace of an Enlightened, the most revered of us all, and her personal servant. She squeezes Miss Gennadi’s back and shoves her face into the crook over the other woman’s neck, breathing deeply. Kaki stands, wide-eyed, his hands out in front of him as though he cannot will them to move.

“Stop,” Miss Gennadi whispers. “Stop, stop, stop—”

“Gennadi,” Enlightened Everleigh says.

“Stop!” Miss Gennadi yells suddenly, clawing at the Enlightened’s back. “Get off me, Leigha!”

“Gennadi, I love you. I’m sorry they hurt you. I won’t let them again.” She almost sounds childish.

Kaki looks over at me, mouthing, what? I do not think my brain even comprehends what is happening.

MIss Gennadi shoves the Enlightened to the ground, shoving her palm on the other woman’s forehead and dragging it down at an extreme force and speed. She shoved an Enlightened into the ground. Sweet-hearted Miss Gennadi. Enlightened Everleigh reacts even faster. She catches Miss Gennadi’s hand when it comes and throws the other woman over her shoulder, so they both roll to the ground in a heap. Enlightened Everleigh grips Miss Gennadi by one of the black spots on her arms. The blonde-woman screeches in pain.

I step away, murmuring a Prayer beneath my breath. I grab at Kaki’s sleeve and then release it, a tingling, warning sensation coming through my fingers.

Miss Gennadi scrambles to her feet. “Do not touch me. You sicken me, both of you.” Enlightened Daniya does not react. “All of your cycles of cruelty could never-could never bring back—”

She breaks off, crying. Not deep, ugly sobs. Silent ones. So silent it is eerie. She falls to her knees, right into Enlightened Everleigh’s arms.

I feel Kaki’s hand slip into mine. A part of me registers the distaste I have for the touch and the dread that courses in me as my Soul fractures, but the rest is too shocked to understand what is going on.

“Come on, Nadya,” Kaki says.

This feels incredibly disconnected from the moment we had at the theater, as though we have just gotten another show.

***

I lay on my own cot, staring at the flyer for the Fyi Festival. Ponnie and Chi-Chi went with Walas and a few of the other servant children to watch the Moons dance. They begged me to join them, but I told them I was too weary and tired to do so—normally, this would be a lie, as Kaki never has me do much actual servitude for him, but we’d spent the rest of the Moon coming up with theories about Miss Gennadi and trying to speak with her, but she denied us entry to her chamber.

The rain drums against the side of the Fortress walls. I realize, though, these walls are thick enough to keep from ever truly hearing the rain. I place my hand against the side that my cot attaches to, as though I’d be able to feel the Suns’ warnings through the stone.

Do I deserve to burn for simply staring at this paper? I think. Kaki finds my worries silly, but that is because you protected his Purity at birth.

A horrible thought comes: Why did you protect Kaki’s Purity at birth? What has he done to be worthy that I have not?

It is selfish of me and I immediately repent. These are not the thoughts of a good friend.

Give me a sign, I think. Give me a reason to leave this place for one Moon or give me a reason to stay.

With my Prayer, I tap along to the beat of the rain, for Kirill is a lover of all things musical. I keep my eyes closed for Gerasim, who was blind in His physical life.

I reach below my cot. There, I kept the basket of black feathers bought from the man. I remember what he said, that his wife had been sent to the Slaughter Houses, and this festival is to help the orphan children of the City. But if it is to help people, why not go to the authorities or one of the Industries to put it on? Why share the word with illegal papers written by blashphemous scribes?

It is the job of the Industry of Classes to know the City’s citizens, monitor what the people need, and figure out the best possible way to provide such things. Why not go to them?

I click a rhythm for Kirill once more, eyes shut.

You Both preach to not be indulgent, and I know I have failed You Both in that. You Both preach servitude first to You Both and then to my charge, and I know I am currently failing You Both in that. But does this mean I should keep a blind eye to all that reject Your teachings, reject their place in society, reject the careful order of Our religion even if they are people too? Or if they ignore our teachings to do what they believe is right? And what of Kaki? If the answer to the previous question is ‘yes’, does this mean I should keep away from him for he is not a believer? If he were not Pure he would have been like that woman who taught herself to read, I know it. He would sacrifice our teachings for knowledge that is clearly being hidden from him for a reason.

Why is it so hard to put in action who I must serve first when the path is so incredibly clear?

Give me a sign.

It is only after more long, tedious moments of contemplation that I realize the rain’s stopped.