Tye has rushed up to Level One, with Observation Mode on. Even I can’t see him once we go through the heavy locked door that leads to the dungeon. I usher Fitheach in front of me and remind him to put on Observation Mode so the adventurers won’t see him. He flicks the switch and vanishes in front of my eyes. Bernard and Tye are ahead; I see them as green blips on the HUD. Tye rushes through the Tapestry Room past the untriggered Paladin and the other mobs to head right down the Spooky Corridor. He ignores the alcove to his left goes down the sloping passage. Bernard is with him; they both have to get there to get to their levels and rooms where they await the adventurers. Fitheach tarries, then huffs and puffs invisibly before heading after them. When I last saw his level it was lovely, so I don’t get his anxiety about welcoming adventurers there. Like I said, if they get that far.
As my level hasn’t yet been dug out, I decide to hang around on Level One, to see how my guests are getting on.
I am totally invisible to them and can’t interact while I have obs mode on, so I stroll through the Tapestry Room to the door that leads onto the main passage. I step out. To the left the dungeon door some hundred yards away has closed shut. From the commotion the adventurers are still battling their way through the Ruined Chapel. In there is a collection of minor loot, originally crafted by Geraint, and amongst the debris a key that will allow them to unlock the door into the Gas Room and down into Tye’s Fire Dwarf area.
As I walk, I glance to the schematic. There are green dots marking our mobs, gold dots marking loot and red dots marking the enemy adventurers. Six red dots bleep on and off in the Ruined Chapel among the cobwebbed pews and ruined icons. I particularly like the bloody graffitti on the wall, a flourish designed by my NPC Oliver Stone and interior decorator. The green dots blink off in the Ruined Chapel. I hover over it to see:
They deal with the acid slime and another green dot is extinguished. All the mobs will respawn in thirty minutes from their death . The mobs here are one plus dungeon floor level, so Level 12. They’re better than the adventurers by at least three levels, but of course there are six adventurers. I hover over them to see who’s leading and it seems to be the Level 9 Barbarian, Grimdark. They pause in the Ruined Chapel, presumably checking foor loot. I am guessing they’ve got the key to the lower level here, though they won’t yet know where it’s for.
I’m in the Tapestry Room, alone of all my gang when the adventurers bluster into the Tapestry Room. I can see and hear them but they can’t see me with Observation Mode on. I hear a roar. ‘Time’s up. Let’s do this!’ and the bare-chested ginger haired barbarian Grimdark bursts into the room. There are various low level pieces of loot lying on the floor, but he doesn’t pay any attention to these. He rushes forward, huge great-axe raised up above his head. He’s all muscle, no shirt and his pants appear to be braided from leather. The only armour he has is a prominent gold codpiece protecting his virtual man-parts. He screams in rage as he sees the NPC Level 12 Paladin that guards the Tapestry Room and sprints towards it. From behind him, their rogue Bilbo hisses, ‘Easy, Grim. There might be traps!’ but the barbarian ignores him. Hustling through the door now behind them are the green-clad druid Treebeard 781, a female cleric, another plate-mailed fighter who’s a lot more cautious than Grimdark, and a wizard in a red and gold Chinese style robe emblazoned with dragons. There’s a burning smell and a bright ray of fire stabs through the air to strike the NPC paladin. Instead of being grateful, the barbarian screams, ‘Don’t steal my kill, wissard.’
He’s got an accent — maybe Swedish or something. With a yell he swings his great-axe laterally and down, aiming for the paladin. The NPC raises his shield and there’s a crash of steel and a shower of sparks as the barbarian’s axe skitters off.
The paladin ripostes and slashes his longsword down the barbarian’s left arm. Blood drips from the wound and the barbarian shouts back. ‘Heal me up, cleric.’
This must be a Pick Up Group because these guys don’t seem to know each other well, or at least the barbarian can’t remember their names.
The cleric obliges and Grimdark is bathed in the slivery light of a healing spell. He doesn’t thank her but smashes his axe down again. It causes some damage and the paladin staggers back, but puts up his guard and deflects the barbarians lunging axe head. The paladin’s shield is buckled and the with an insane laugh the barbarian attacks again. Bilbo the rogue is sneaking round the side and Melanie the Cleric is waiting for her next order to heal. The fighter and the wizard are looking at each other. The wizard shrugs and mutters, ‘Let him do it.’
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The fighter lifts the visor of his helmet. ‘He’s an idiot.’
‘But so magnificent,’ Melanie the cleric says in moon-struck tones.
The paladin draws blood again and the barbarian yells, ‘That enough. I go into rage!’ There is a red graphic effect and Grimdark’s face morphs like the Mighty Hulk so he’s bigger and wider. Snarling, he smashes down again and again, until the paladin collapses in a clatter of iron.
‘Yessss!!!!!’ Grimdark fistpumps in victory. He turns round, still raging and covered in blood, which he ignores. Melanie obligingly heals him up without being asked first. Bilbo the rogue has used the distraction of the fight to collect up the loot hereabouts. There’s a gloopy, slithering sound as an Acid Slime heaves itself from the ceiling behind them. The wizard Tigorno shoots out a ray of fire and fries it. ‘You’re welcome,’ he says. Grimdark ignores him. ‘Come, we go there.’
He’s pointing over at the so-called Spooky Corridor that leads towards their encounter with Tye. Bilbo raises his hand. ‘Let me go first in case of traps.’
Grimdark says, ‘No. I go first. I not show cowardice of traps.’
Melanie says in a quiet voice. ‘Let Bilbo do his stuff.’
The wizard and fighter spout up. ‘Hang back, Grimdark.’
The barbarian huffs and puffs but lets the rogue go foward. The little guy, turns out he’s a halfling, bends down, sniffs, rubs the ground with two fingers and then smells his fingers. This is all posing because his Trap Sense skill will let him know the trap’s there. Then he nods, reaches into a leather pouch on a belt around his waist. He pulls out some thin metal tools, tinkers for a while then a hatch opens revealing a pit trap. He messes with that a while and then drops into the pit, pulling a healing potiona and some black laquered armour. ‘Good job,’ The fighter Daven says.
‘Hurry,’ Grimdark says, bustling forwards. They follow him and see the alcove to the left. I know there’s a crush trap there, and so does the rogue. He’s not bad. Once again, he makes Grimdark stand back while he disarms the trap and gets the key.
‘Thanks for the xp,’ Melanie says.
‘Come on!’ Grimdark yells,striding into the dark.
The wizard Tigorno mutters, ‘He’s a liability.’
Daven the fighter sighs and follows Grimdark down the sloping corridor. There’s a locked door at the bottom but they’ve got the key. They enter a dark room. I’m right behind them. I know what’s happening but they don’t. There’s a hissing sound. The rogue notices it at the same time as Melanie the Cleric.
‘It very dark in here,’ Grimdark says.
‘What’s that noise?’ Tigorno asks.
‘What noise?’ Grimdark shakes his head. ‘Wissard is useless. Where is light spell?’
But Tigorno’s preoccupied; he’s looking all around. Grimdark grunts in condemnation. ‘No problemo. I have torch in backpack,’ and he begins to rummage in his pack.
Treebeard the druid says, ‘I’ve got a light spell — Faerie Fire.’
Melanie shakes her head. ‘I’d go easy on the fire.’
‘Yeah, smells like gas of some kind,’ Bilbo says.
‘It’s okay,’ Treebeard says. ‘My spell isn’t inflammatory. It’s more like a phosphorescence.’
Melanie nods. ‘Ah okay. That should be fine.’
‘Yeah,’ Bilbo agrees. ‘Go for it.’
‘Then we can see where the hell we are,’ Daven says.
Grimdark pulls out a torch from his pack, puts it between his knees and gets out a flint and steel. ‘Good. Just a second.’
They all turn to stare at him, but there’s a spark as Grimdark strikes the flint against the steel and an almighty boom as the gas ignites and blows them to kingdom come.
Bilbo is slain by explosion: 250 xp
Melanieoxoxo is slain by explosion: 350 xp
Daven is slain by explosion: 350 xp
Tigorno is slain by explosion: 350 xp
I hear somebody stumbling around in the smoke, coughing uncontrollably. ‘What happen?’ Grimdark asks.
‘You blew them up with your torch,’ Treebeard the druid says. I can hear the ice in his voice.
‘I blew? No.’ Grimdark shakes his head. ‘I could not blow. Was gas.’
The ghosts of the four dead adventurers shimmer nearby before winking out one by one to go to where they’re bound. Ghosts can’t speak, which is probably a good thing right now.
Treebeard says, ‘Yes, you blew them up.’
Grimdark becomes visible as the smoke dissipates. He seems taken aback and rubs his big seamed forehead with a sooty hand. ‘I sorry. I not die because of huge hitpoints.’ He nods wisely.
Treebeard is still pissed off. ‘I’ve got high fire resist, so I was okay. Let’s quit.’
Grimdark shakes his head. ‘No, no.’
‘Look, this is a Level 12 dungeon. You’re only Level 9, and I’m Level 7. We’re not going to do this.’
Grimdark grits his teeth. ‘No, I not give up. I not coward.’
‘Listen, I’m not a quitter, but this is unwinnable.’
Grimdark stares at the druid with bloodshot eyes, white in glaring in his smoke stained face. ‘You not quit then. I simple. We go. Win win. We get loot and xp?’ The barbarian smiles endearingly.
Treebeard shakes his head and pulls at his beard. ‘I don’t know…’
Grimdark claps the druid on the shoulder. ‘Yes .We go. I need you to heal me.’
Treebeard sighs as Grimdark walks through the room to the next door, but the barbarian is striding forward unconcerned.
You’ve got to love this guy.