Chapter 226 - Let Go
It didn’t take long before the forest above faded out of sight, leaving Yuzu falling through the empty white void below the aetheric plane.
A stinging wind whipped through her, sapping away her energy in an invisible of current of primeval energy.
The stress caused Yuzu’s arms to both unravel into long trailing cords, from her fingertips to her elbows. The cords trailed above her, whipping in the winds as her body plummeted ever downward.
Yuzu’s whole soul was tense as she fought against the forces that were ripping her into pieces. It took all of her concentration to keep her arms from unraveling past her shoulders, but she was able to fight it back. Her body was exhausted from exertion, pushed past its limit.
As she struggled once more, she wondered why she was once again in this situation. I saved a bunch of people didn’t I? I didn’t let Noga extinguish the Domain of Life. I saved Char Char. I saved Zwei.
Why me?
The bitter thought bubbled up in her mind. If she hadn’t tried so hard to save everyone, she wouldn’t have exhausted herself to this point. But she pushed it too far once again.
Why me? The voice within nagged her. Haven’t I done enough?
I’m so tired.
The tension in her body rose as the force pulling her body apart grew stronger. No, it wasn’t that the force was growing stronger, it was that she was growing weaker. The nagging thought blossomed in her mind like a weed, sapping her energy to fight.
As the resentful thoughts swirled in her mind, she found less and less reason to keep fighting. She was too exhausted, fighting for a cause that she didn’t even really believe in. After all, why did it matter to her personally whether Lord Noga sapped the life out of the land, or whether the God of Life survived? It didn’t improve her life, it didn’t make her happier, it didn’t bring her peace.
All she’d gotten from this whole ordeal was trouble after trouble. She’d never wanted it or asked for it.
Letting go meant not having to fight anymore, not having to deal with all these headaches and issues.
In a word, letting go meant dying.
Argus said that if I had the will to survive, I could hold on simply by not giving up… So does that mean the opposite is true too? Maybe I’m okay with that… Yuzu mused, considering the possibility. She just had to stop resisting the natural forces tearing her body apart, and within moments it would be done. No more pain, no more struggling, no more anything. The thought was sad, morbid and quietly attractive.
As she toyed with the idea her arms unraveled further all the way up to her shoulders. The white cords elongated, drifting behind her as she fell through the endless white space.
Yes, if I don’t fight back, this will all be over soon. A calmness filled Yuzu as she rotated in mid air, looking in the direction she was falling. She felt the subtle flow of aether flowing through the void. Felt it pass through her body and gently pull her down to the bottom of the world. The sensation reminded her that gravity was just a suggestion in this plane, not a law. She drifted on the current, feeling more and more at peace.
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As she floated, she caught sight of a single white thread of fate floating along with her. It glowed softly, a thin and delicate and precious ribbon. She felt a deep connection to it, and knew with certainty that it was her thread.
This thread was always visible to her, though she usually ignored it. It was the only thread that she couldn’t read the future of, not because it had any particularly special property, but because the simple act of reading the thread caused it to change. Whereas other people’s futures didn’t change unless Yuzu actually took action, every future that she saw in her personal thread shifted and changed on her whims.
As she came to peace with the idea of letting go one last time, her thread began to fray. She intrinsically understood that if she decided to fight against the end her thread would start to recover, but as she continued to fall through the white world it continued to grow thinner and thinner.
For once, I can actually read my fate. A sardonic smile flickered on her lips as the thought played in her mind.
There were no landmarks in sight, no way to get her bearings, but she already knew where she was headed. It was a place she was already familiar with - the giant, chained door at the bottom of the world, which was subtly drawing the currents of the aetheric plane into it.
The end of her fate thread was down there, right in front of the door.
As the image of that giant door surfaced in her mind it sharpened and grew clear. She felt a wrenching sensation as the world shifted around her, transporting her to that destination. Her body suddenly hit a plane of solid ground that materialized underneath her. She hit her knees and fell forward, but the flailing threads of her arms splayed out, keeping her face from smashing against the floor.
A terrible pressure weighed down on her as she slowly looked up to see the massive black metal door directly in front of her. It was covered with numerous constellations and glyphs etched deep into the rough metal surface. The white stone block frame around the door was engraved with three dimensional runes. Heavy black chains as thick and tall as a human wrapped around the door and frame, sealing it shut.
A low hum filled the surroundings, resonating with the air and the ground in an oppressive, unsettling aura.
Yuzu sat up straight on her knees, looking at the door without emotion. The winding, twisting cords hung down limply from her shoulders, their flowing movements suppressed by the spiritual energies coming from the door. The aura also suppressed the forces that were unraveling her body, and so she just sat facing the door, observing it.
She realized that the banging had stopped the moment that she had appeared in front of the door. The giant door stood motionless and silent in front of her.
She knew without a doubt that the entity behind the door was watching her. She felt its presence, heavy and malevolent and eternal.
The last time she was here, it had taken control over her body and forced her to start opening the seal, but in doing so she accidentally dropped the ornate chest. Back then, she hadn’t been powerful enough to sustain her presence in the aetheric plane, so losing contact with the chest caused her to return to the physical world.
This time she had no such lifeline, but also, she wasn’t afraid.
Her white thread of fate floated quietly in front of her, weak and frail. The frayed end of the thread drifted near to her heart.
The corner of her lip curved upward in a disparaging grin as she felt the entity reach out to her.
A deep rumbling resounded through the air, a deep and malevolent voice filled her mind, speaking in an ancient language that she intrinsically understood.
“Open the door.”
Yuzu didn’t even have time to respond as her legs involuntarily stood up and the cords of her arms rose into the air toward the door. She felt an incredible pressure start leeching energy from her body as the constellations engraved into the door began to glow.
Yuzu was unable to resist. She felt her consciousness fading as the entity sucked her life directly out of her body. She wasn’t scared, though she knew that she was dying. It didn’t hurt, but felt like the other times that she had nearly dissolved in the white world, except that instead of her life energy leaking out of the injury in her soul it was being drawn out by force.
Before even the first constellation lit up, she felt that injury suddenly crack open. The controlled siphon suddenly sputtered as her life force began dispersing rapidly into the air. The constellations on the door flickered as Yuzu’s body was unable to maintain the connection.
The air rumbled as the entity hesitated, then abruptly released his control over Yuzu. She crumpled onto the floor, not even having the power to let out a cry. Even after the entity released her, the energy still bled out of her body rapidly.
The door was sideways in her vision as her vision blurred and darkened. The voice was speaking to her, but she couldn’t comprehend it.
The world faded completely to white.