I want to drown myself in my very own sickening thoughts. Another day and another way to drown myself into my own sadness. I look outside but all I see is cloudy days, unpaved roads, and drunks. I hated the outside.

   At night the skies weren't as beautiful as one would imagine. In sight, only a star or two were visible, the only good view was that of The Strip, a long stretch of Casinos and skyscrapers. Many people assume locals live in them, but in reality no one does. Las Vegas is a boring city, but it is not the worst city.

   I love the view of the world from on top of my best friends roof more than anything. Everytime I stay at his house it's all I want to do. Live, breathe, feel joy for the moment. Just...for a moment.

   You see, I am a social creature like all humans are meant to be but I am not one to hangout in the park or at the mall. I have never been an attractive guy, I endured bullying most of my days in school due to my weight, being poor, and not having vision problems. I later found out all these problems were caused by genetic diseases known as Marfan's syndrome and keratoconus.

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Due to this, I spend most of my time surfing the web, making friends from all over the world that I know I will never meet. The thought makes me want to cry but the thought is factual, I must not cry about destiny, because destiny was meant to be just the same way some things were not meant to be.

   It was not until I found myself on a site that I realized, some things you can't have, only make you want them even more. Some dreams just keep reoccurring, the heart wants what it wants and it will stop at nothing to get to it. The thing I found is love. I found Caitlyn.