I rubbed my eyes with both hands as my vision cleared fully. I was on my back next to the water trap that seconds ago had nearly killed me, but everything was different now. The sky was tinted blue. Not so much the sky, more like the air, almost as if my eyes had a Photoshop filter placed over them. The few trees that dotted the golf course’s edge now had the appearance of coral. There was also the matter of the small flying man hovering before me.

“I said my name is Tee. Welcome to the Caddyverse!” The tiny man half yelled.

“My name is Brodie.” I instinctively replied while my brain attempted to cope with the fact that I was speaking to what was essentially a fairy.

“It’s a good thing I showed up when I did, or you’d be dead as dead can be.”

“Yeah, thanks for that. Where am I, and what are you?”

“Like I said, my name is Tee, and I’m a Nog. We Nogs are special, you see; unlike other beings that live in the Caddyverse, we have the ability to travel freely between the 18 realms.”

“That really doesn’t explain much.” I replied as I tried to stand up.

I wasn’t expecting the ground to squelch as I stood, but it did. In fact, every movement I made, no matter how slight, caused the ground beneath me to make a squelching noise and release a small amount of water. It was almost as if I was standing on a water-filled sponge. The air had a liquid-like quality, not in an I’m drowning sort of way, but more of a sensation.

“So, what exactly is this Caddyverse?” I asked as I stood, rubbing my side where the cart had impacted me.

This was the first real look I had gotten at Tee. His appearance made me think of a cherub. His almost cupid-like features were betrayed by the fact that he was dressed in khaki cargo shorts, a pink polo shirt, and white sneakers. His hair was an impossible golden blonde with the slightest hint of balding in the middle. I couldn’t determine his age because he looked halfway between a toddler and a 45-year-old man. Calling his appearance strange would be an understatement.

“Like I was saying, the Caddyverse is composed of 18 realms. A Golfer rules over each realm. They use the caddies of the realms as their servants to…. shit!” A splashing sound from the lake behind me cut off Tees exposition.

In the middle of the lake, three women were slowly rising from the water. The trio of women were all blond and in various stages of needing a touch-up done to cover their obviously not blond roots. They all wore pantsuits in slightly different shades of blue, and they each clutched a designer purse. Despite the barnacles and coral formations hanging from their skin, they all had flawless makeup. The women began lurching towards us.

“What the hell are those things!” I yelled at Tee.

“Aqua Marine’s servants, they found us. We need to leave now!” Tee shouted back.

I glanced back at the lake. The three women were pulling what looked like champagne flutes from their purses. The glassware contained an orange bubbling liquid, almost like a Mimosa. The closest of the three hurled her glass towards me. I stepped backward as the glass shattered and the orange drink splashed on the ground. The grass the beverage touched quickly began to wilt and die. As I watched the grass dissolve around me, my eyes caught the glint of the nine iron. I must have still been holding onto it when I was hit by the cart and sent into the water trap. Acting out of instinct and fear, I grabbed the club, prepared to defend myself.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

As my fingers wrapped around the handle of the golf club, I felt a surge of energy run through my body. Like an intense static shock had jolted my entire body to life. Tee’s eyes widened as I rose, wielding the golf club like a weapon in my hand. Something small had materialized in my other hand. I looked down and realized I was holding a golf ball.

“Hit them with it! Smack the ball at them, now!” Tee looked like he was jumping up and down, which was an interesting sight, considering he was floating in the air.

Now, I had been a caddy for years, but I had never actually swung a golf club in my life. I despised the sport and had zero interest in learning how to play it. The current situation, however, led to some quick learning on my part. Another Mimosa crashed behind me, killing everything the contents of the glass touched. I had to do something quick, or I would be dead. I threw the golf ball straight up and smacked it with the club as if it were a baseball.

“This is most certainly not the proper way to golf.” I thought to myself as the club made contact with the ball.

The ball flew through the air at an impossible speed towards the closest of the three women. A loud crunch could be heard as the ball impacted the woman’s shoulder, causing her to stumble back and drop her purse into the water. It was clear from the way her arm now dangled at her side that the blow had broken more than one bone in her shoulder.

“You little shit!” She cursed as she straightened herself and continued towards me. Her friend let another mimosa fly.

Some liquid splashed onto my calf as the mimosa crashed into the ground beside me. Waves of sharp pain rolled up my leg as I watched the skin that had been exposed to the concoction turn black, wither, and die. I choked back tears as I tried to figure out what to do next. That was my only ball, and the terrible three were almost on the shore of the lake now. I took a step back and almost fell over. My leg felt like it was on fire with every movement.

“I really could use another golf ball.” I thought to myself as the pain from my injury washed over me.

The second my brain processed the thought, another ball materialized in my left hand. I wasted no time rocketing the ball towards the woman whose shoulder I had already broken. The ball smashed into her face, right between the eyes. Her face caved in, and I watched in horror as the ball entered her skull and exited out the back. Blood, bone, and gore sprayed from the gaping hole in the back of her head. The ball plopped into the water behind her.

“Ick” Tee muttered, turning away from the carnage.

The other two women paused their advance for a second, stunned at what they had just witnessed. I had already manifested a third ball and launched it towards the second closest woman. This shot impacted her chest. The sounds of breaking bone and air leaving her lungs pierced my ears as she coughed up a mixture of what looked like blood and lake water. She collapsed in a heap, the spongy ground squelching as the corpse fell.

The final lady dropped her purse as she let out a blood-curdling scream and ran towards me. I quickly dropped the ball I had summoned and wielded the club in both hands as she approached. I waited until she was within arm’s reach, and using all the strength I could muster, I swung the club.

CRACK! The club smacked into the side of her head, separating it from her body. A fountain of blood sprayed into the sky as her head hit the ground, bouncing twice before coming to a rest next to the lake. I let out a cry as the adrenaline faded from my body, and the pain from my injury made itself known. I grabbed a calf where the skin was missing as I sank to the ground, tears running down my cheeks. What the fuck did I get myself into?