By The Sword - Homepage
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Everything hurt.
And as I trudged on, kicking heavy feet against the grass, I could feel it. Thoughts spun in my head and what was left of my fire still burned in my blood, but I barely cared about any of it. My skin, my muscles, my bones—they were all riddled with fatigue. My body was disconnected from my mind like a child giving their parents the silent treatment. But it still moved when I called it to, and it still responded to the small dregs of hope I pushed into it every once in a while.
My lips curled up a fraction of an inch. At my side, my curved blade in its scabbard swayed with familiar weight. I gripped it, using its presence as a foothold in the conscious realm while I tried to find comfort in the mid-morning sun.
At least things were starting to look familiar again.
As my lazy eyes scanned over the twisting trees, I somehow recognized where I was. In the middle of the previous night, I’d finally reached the end of the dirt path that stretched all the way to Farhar and I’d been forced to move into the trees. As soon as I’d done that though, things had only gotten worse.
It was one thing to be a drifting husk when you knew where you were going. It was a whole ‘nother thing when you were lost as well.
But that had been before, I reminded myself. Before I’d somehow stumbled back into territory that I actually knew.
In all honesty, it was a strange feeling. Knowing where I was going and all. For the entirety of my past life, I’d never been much of a navigator. And I’d never been an avid hunter either. Whenever I’d had to trek through a forest or swamp, I’d always had a guide. That had always been good enough for me. But now that I was a ranger, things were different. I didn’t entirely know how it worked, but I was picking it up little by little. The patterns of the forest, even though they looked like nonsense on the face, had a natural rhythm to them. They were something I could watch for. Something I could follow.
And right now, as my stomach grumbled at the fact that my most recent meal had been hours and hours ago, that was certainly enough to hold onto.
After I’d left Anath—after I’d left the source for what I hoped was the final time, I’d followed the bird as long as I could. It hadn’t made it easy, soaring overhead at breakneck speeds and only letting me know its location through powerful screeches that shook the world itself. But I’d followed it all the same. For some reason beyond my tired mind, the bird was interested in me. At least interested in keeping me alive, anyway. Because from the cold and desolate spot in the middle of the woods, the Aspexus had led me all the way back to the path.
Although, as soon as I’d broken through the trees with an exasperated smile on my face, it had completely vanished from the sky and left me alone in the dark.
White flame flickered in my head.
Well, I thought with a tiny nod. Not entirely alone. After all, when I’d stumbled back to the dirt path and realized I was way too far from where my companions and I had made camp, the white flame had helped out a lot. It had done what it always did—heightening my reflexes, pouring energy into my well, and giving me heat against the cold.
A memory flashed in my head. A sharp pain in my stomach.
I winced, holding my gut as a shaky breath entered my lungs. The images of the night—of the hunger I’d experienced—all faded away, only improving my reverence of the flame. When I’d finally worn out, finally become too tired to go on without rest, it had helped me hunt food too.
Only a few rabbits. But it had been more than satisfying. The white flame had even helped me cook the damn things.
The ghost of a smile crept onto my lips. Heat licked at the back of my eyes and I felt another tiny trickle of power flow into my blood. I sharpened my vision and perked my ears up, asserting control over my body once more.
My breathing slowed. My mind cleared. My fingers tightened on the hilt. And my footsteps rang out more solid against the dirt. Careful. Pointed. Full of poise. It was as if my entire body had been given a second wind. Just enough energy to get back to the lodge.
After all, I was almost there.
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By the time I made it through the tree line, all poise had drained from my form. My lungs rasped and yearned for air. My muscles burned themselves from within. And my heavy, metal-clad feet dragged through the grass like an old plow through soil.
But I barely paid mind to any of it. Instead, all of my attention was focused forward. I wasn’t looking at the woods—the ancient trees or the beat-up dirt anymore. I was looking at the lodge. I was looking at my home.
The sight of the Ranger’s sigil—a crescent arrow inlaid in the wood—inspired more than a little hope as I pushed forward with all my might.
Beyond the beautiful lodge, Sarin loomed above on the hill. Basic wooden houses, shops, and other buildings all bustling with mid-morning traffic put a small smile on my face. And even despite the curious looks some of Sarin’s townsfolk were giving me, I felt more than happy to be back.
As I dragged myself over to the lodge’s front entrance, even more looks were thrown my way. More than just the odd glance from a civilian, some knights were eyeing me as well. Coming down the slope in a group, four poised and careful knights squinted at my decrepit form like I was some kind of enemy.
On first instinct, I raised my hand to wave. They didn’t wave back, only staring at me long enough to make mental notes of my face before walking off. My eyebrows dropped. Their blatant, accusatory disrespect didn’t roll off my shoulders very easily. And, as I only realized by the time they were walking away, I didn’t recognize a single one of their faces.
A curious grunt slipped from my lips. They were new then, I thought. Things had changed since I’d last been in Sarin.
White haze flashed in my vision and all of my muscles shrieked at once. I cringed, stumbling forward toward the lodge and catching myself on the dark wooden doorframe. The full scope of my exhaustion showed its true colors, ripping my contemplations away.
I nodded; there was nothing else to do. My body was right, after all. I could worry about what had changed later. Right now, I needed rest.
And so, pushing back the last of my stray thoughts, I gathered myself and pushed inside.
Warmth cascaded over me. It brushed against my skin, contrasting with the sweat-soaked and still-dirty cloth of my uniform. I continued to step on, walking further and further into the lodge as if it were the arms of an angel.
The narrow wooden entryway to the lodge flew by without much thought.
As I stumbled into the training room though, swaying and teetering on weak legs, I was confronted with something new. Instead of being empty like the room normally was in the morning, it was filled with commotion. Words were being thrown around like confetti—some friendly and some not. Except it was definitely not a celebration.
Blinking away the spinning blur that was my vision, I flicked my eyes around. In the middle of the room, a familiar grey-haired ranger was standing with his arms folded and one eyebrow up. Beside him was another ranger, who I quickly recognized as Tan, trying to contain a smile. And over by the weapon rack, standing as the obvious target for Myris’ contempt, was a certain arrogant swordsman rolling his eyes.
“I know we have to leave,” Jason said through his teeth as he grabbed a cloak off the shelf and stuffed it into his bag. “You don’t have to keep hounding me about it.”
A disconcerted sound rose from Myris’ throat. I smiled. It was the sound he always made whenever passively upset with someone. “I think I do, actually. We were supposed to leave almost an hour ago. We don’t have time to waste here, you know.”
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“Oh I know,” Jason shot back. “You think I don’t? I’m the one who let the damned thing get to him. If I’d just been able to keep up my wall—”
“There’s no use regretting it now,” Tan said, tilting her head to Jason. The swordsman stopped, his eyes quivering for a second before he shook his head.
“Yeah,” he finally admitted as he tied the bag closed. “You’re right. I just have to hope I can make up for it.” His voice came out soft and oddly sincere. I furrowed my brows.
His voice lacked all confidence, all of the fiery and foolproof arrogance he normally rode on. Instead, it was filled with actual emotion—actual regret, as if he’d been beating himself up for days over some trivial mistake. Without even thinking, I opened my mouth, ready to ask him what had—
I stumbled.
My hand flew out. My eyes shot wide. I staggered, falling backward and only barely catching myself on the walls of the lodge. A curse slipped between my lips, directed entirely at my feeble legs which had decided to give out.
“Agil?” a voice asked. I looked up with a cringe on my face.
And when I did, I was met with the full attention of the room. Jason turned to me, his expression dropping little by little. Tan blinked, her lips curling up as she tried to figure out if I was even real. Myris’ eyebrows shot up, all of his obstinance washing away in an oncoming tide. All of them stared at me with relieved, wide eyes.
I nodded to them as I pushed myself up. “Hello.”
Jason let out a breath and slumped backward as if a weight had been lifted from his soul. “Agil,” he repeated. “When did you even come in?”
I raised my head, my eyelids drooping as sleep called me from the abyss. “Not even a minute ago, why?”
“Why?” he asked. He couldn’t help the genuine smile sprouting on his face. “You’re alive.”
In the center of the room, Tan snickered. Her lips tweaked upward and she leaned back against the older ranger behind her. Myris let out a sigh, wrapping his arms around her. I raised one of my eyebrows as she let out a soft giggle and looked up at him.
“Yeah, I’m alive,” I said. “Was there any doubt that I would be?”
Myris glared at me. “You backed into the forest while fighting a terror, and by the time we got to check on you, there was nothing alive to find.”
I coughed, letting a thin chuckle slip out. “Right. I guess there would’ve been some doubt then.”
“Of course there was,” Jason said. When I looked over at him, he was already rubbing his neck. “We couldn’t find you after the terror was dead.”
“So it was dead?”
Jason’s hand froze, the shadow of a smirk ghosting his lips. “Was there any doubt that it was?”
I smiled. It was good to know that Jason hadn’t changed in the past few days. “I guess not. Still, it’s good to know that we have one less of those things to worry about.” A shiver raced down my spine. It hurt as I shuddered in place. “Have you seen any more since then?”
Myris shook his head. “That was the last of them, it seems. It must’ve been a straggler.”
“And there hasn’t been any terror activity around here for days at the very least,” Tan added as soon as she wrestled away from Myris’ playful grip.
Grey wings flashed in my mind; the images were seared onto my eyes. The dragon girl’s words played back in my head. My fingers curled into a fist as I stepped forward, but I was only met with pain. I nodded at the memories before pushing them back, leaving only the desire for rest in their wake.
“So we really were successful,” I pushed out, my feet kicking against the wood. I dragged my eyes over the floor. In the corner of my vision, I could see the hallway and the doors beyond. My room was within reach.
“Agil?” came a concerned voice that I barely even recognized as Jason. I looked up at him, squinting. “You okay?”
I opened my mouth, but only a rough cough escaped. My throat cracked dry and I winced in pain. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
Jason furrowed his brows at that. “Galen is in, if you wanted to—”
I waved him off. “I’m fine.” I was the greatest swordsman of all time. I’d accomplished more in my past life than any to rival my name. And I’d even parried the beast where all others had failed. I’d been tired before, dammit. I just needed some rest.
The glares I got from all of the rangers in the room seemed to think otherwise though. For a moment, none of them spoke as I pushed my way across the room. But then, Tan angled her head at me and forced a step forward.
“Are you sure? You look like you need a little more than sleep.”
I sighed, glancing back to her. With exhaustion still echoing through my bones, frustration bubbled hot under my skin. “I’m fine. I have water in my room, and I don’t think I’d be able to eat right now anyway.” Tan stepped back, words dying at her lips as she nodded. With my half-empty stomach rolling, I definitely could’ve eaten something, but I would rather have drunk the stale water in my room than have people treating me like a child that needed help.
I was fine.
Then, as Tan tore her eyes away from me and Myris’ glare bored down on my head, I felt another bead of sweat drift down my neck. I shook my head, searching for a way to shift the topic. “What are you guys preparing for anyway?”
Jason’s smirk faded from his face. “We were going to go search for you.”
I stopped, twisting at his words. “What?”
“After you’d dashed off into the trees somewhere we couldn’t find you, we’d returned to camp,” Myris said. I blinked with heavy eyes as his explanation trickled into my ears. “We’d wanted to go after you, but there was nothing else for us to do. We didn’t know if there were still terrors, or if you were even out there to be found.” The older ranger looked down at his feet for a moment before clearing his throat. “So we decided to keep going all the way to Sarin and come looking for you after.”
White flame flared against my skull. I pushed it back, trying to force myself to take deep breaths. The knight in me was appalled at the fact that they’d left without an extensive search, but I suppressed its thoughts for the time. Things were different now, I reminded myself yet again. The Rangers weren’t bound together by a code of honor.
“We wanted to go after you,” came Jason’s voice. “But with all of the gear we were carrying—including your stuff, it just…”
The swordsman trailed off—something I didn’t think I’d ever heard him do. But that wasn’t what my tired mind latched onto. Through the slow-churning fog of my thoughts, something burned white-hot.
With energy I didn’t know I was able to summon, I turned on my heel to stare the swordsman in the face. “You grabbed my bag?”
Jason looked up, his brows knitting. “Of course we did. It’s not like we were—”
“Where is it now?”
Jason’s lips twitched and I saw his fingers do the same at my interruption. “It’s in your room.”
I sighed, the white flame relieving its grasp on my mind. The image of my bag and the contents inside flooded my head. My body slumped backward, a weight lifting from my shoulders.
The map.
It was safe.
“Thank you,” I said with a smile. Once again, the idea of sleep floated over my head. I reached toward it, pushing forward through the room once again. One step at a time, I dragged my body to the doorway.
And as soon as the dim hallway filled my view, I spared a glance back. The half-confused, half-relieved looks of my fellow rangers told me everything. With a chuckle rising in my throat, I gave them one final nod before I slipped out of the room.
The dim light pressed in around me, locking me in a shifting tomb of silence that was only interrupted by my hauling steps over the wooden floorboards. My eyelids pressed shut, the thought of relief only seconds away.
“Agil?” a new voice asked. I groaned, tearing my eyes open and twisting to see the person who had called to me. “You’re back now, too?”
I rolled my neck, trying to push the thought of sleep away for a little longer.“Yeah, I’m—” I started, but complaints died at my lips as chestnut hair glinted in the dim light and a familiar smirk filled my vision. Kye folded her arms, the grin on her face growing with every step.
My heart fluttered, the sight of her face stopping anger in its tracks. A smile of my own rushed up onto my face and I stepped toward her with open arms.
“Kye,” I said as my arms wrapped around her. Her eyes shot wide. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Uh,” she let out, awkwardly patting my back. “Yeah.”
I blinked, the unsure tone in her voice registering somewhere in my head. Then I went straight as a board as I realized what I was doing. My feet carried me backward faster than I could even apologize.
“Oh,” I said with the tips of my ears on fire. I cringed at myself, genuine embarrassment washing over me for the first time in years.
Kye angled her head at me, the smug grin inching its way back. And before long, she was suppressing a laugh while slapping my shoulder in an action that I was sure was intended to be more playful than it ended up.
“Glad you found your way back alive,” she said. I winced, my shoulder screaming at me to stop the abuse. “You are alive though, right? Because I don’t know if I could tell by looking at you.”
I flicked my gaze up to her. She raised an eyebrow in concern but I waved her off. “I’m fine,” I said, trying to force lightness into my tone. “It was just a bit of a trek to get back here.”
Kye nodded slowly. “Looks like it. Jason, Tan, and Myris were just about to go out looking for you.”
“I know,” I said. “I already had a conversation with them on my way in.” Something rose up through my tired haze. A question of some sort. “By the way, do you know what’s up with Tan and Myris?”
Kye scoffed. “Not a clue, really. They’ve been getting close again since he got back yesterday, but I can’t really tell.” My former cellmate eyed me, a question sparking in her beautiful light brown eyes. “How’d it go in Farhar?”
Memories of the past two weeks came crashing into my mind once again. “It went well,” was all I ended up saying. Grey wings flashed again. I shuddered. “I’ll have to tell you about it some other time.”
Kye nodded at that, holding her tongue without another question. I nodded back to her with a smile that made her let out an amused breath before walking away.
“Go get some sleep,” she said as she rounded the doorway into the training room. “It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back,” I muttered. By the time the words escaped my mouth, she’d already slipped out of the hall. But something told me she’d heard my words anyway.
With her gone, the hallway was truly cast into silence. I groaned, letting my shoulders slump once more. My body complained, reminding me of a truth I was supposed to be attending to. I was tired.
And so, without sparing even another thought on the matter, I surged the rest of the way to the door. The door at the end of the hall. The door Kye had pointed me too all those months ago. The door to my room.
That door flew open and in a matter of seconds, I was face-down in the covers of my bed. Pain evaporated off my skin. Tension eased in my bones. Energy drained from my soul. And despite all of the swirling problems in my head—problems that I knew I’d have to confront at some point—I just let sleep take me in its arms.
I’d deal with them all. I knew that I would.
Some other time.