Shiro walked Hana to the exit as he usually did. She seemed a little disappointed when Makoto announced the marketing would be done earlier than expected. He wasn’t sure of her reasoning. If the poster was done earlier, the gardening club might stand a chance at recovering some members. Otherwise, they would certainly be abolished by student council.
“Ms. Ishi—”
“Shiro Ishida!”
Keiko cut him off. He was caught off guard by the tone of her voice.
Hana stood stiffly at the sight of Keiko stomping toward them. He instinctively stood between the two girls, though he knew he was her target.
He expected this at some point, but he wasn’t prepared for it now. And certainly not in front of the crowd of students who were exiting the building.
Shiro pushed his glasses up and grabbed Keiko by the arm. He half expected her to yell, but she allowed him to guide her to the line of parked cars and out of sight.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She jerked her arm away.
He let go of her, putting both hands up in surrender. “I was about to ask you the same question.”
“No, I mean, what the hell are you doing at this school?!” She threw her hands up. “You haven’t done anything noteworthy since you’ve been here. If you wanted to do nothing, you could have done that anywhere!”
He was too stunned to say anything. After all these years, she had the audacity to ask him that question. He clenched his fists, unable to hold back his anger.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" he regretted the words as soon as he said them.
A group of students walked past the two, snickering as they walked off.
He caught a glimpse of his reflection in a car window. He couldn't recognize his own face.
Shiro unclenched his fists and relaxed his shoulders. He was sure his bus had already come and gone and he was already late for work. He put on his most practiced smile.
“I’m doing fine. Thanks for your concern. It was nice to see you again, but I should be going now.” He stood up straight and adjusted his tie. He couldn't look her in the eye. Not if he wanted to keep his composure.
SLAP!
He felt the pain in his cheek before he could turn away. Keiko gripped his collar in her fists and the both of them fell to the ground. His vision was blurry. His hand moved to his face, covering his swollen cheek and searching for the glasses that were no longer on his nose.
“Why did you come here?! Why did you even bother to keep your promise?!” Keiko screamed in the ear-numbing way only she could.
image [https://img.wattpad.com/a7395eca7f187212dc96bab410f6f17533432c29/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f373631517a566a38455935425a413d3d2d313436313139323839382e3137653137613432303231336533313733383435373935323435322e6a7067?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280]
Shiro pulled the girl off of him and jumped to his feet.
“Why didn’t you!?” he punch the side of a bus, putting a dent by the door. “I’m not like you, Keiko. I valued our friendship!”
He didn’t know how far his rage would go. He had no control over his words or actions. It was like he was watching the scene unfold from the outside.
He was just a spectator to a confrontation long in the making. It was all coming out, whether he wanted it or not.
“You just… left. I waited every day for a letter, a phone call. Anything.” He felt a suffocating pain in his chest. He clutched his heart as if it threatened to rip out of him.
“Dammit… Why didn’t just tell me? I would've understood. If you said we were over…I would’ve understood.” His breath was shaky. It took everything in him to keep himself steady.
“Shiro…”
Shiro’s fists were still clenched so tightly, he was sure his palms were bruised. But it was all he could do to stop his rage from taking hold of him. He wanted to punch something again, anything.
“You...didn’t get my letters?”
Shiro felt the contents of his stomach coming up. He felt like he was hearing her through a tunnel. He stared at the cracks in the sidewalk. Concentrating on the weeds poking through the cement. There was no way he would allow himself to faint in front of her. Not after that outburst.
Keiko’s phone buzzed in her bag. They both stood in silence as it continued to ring.
What did she say? What letters? She's lying. Even if she wasn't, it didn't change a thing.
A lousy letter for the past six years. Forcing him to go against his parents’ wishes and come to this school. In the end, she still didn't keep her promise. What difference would one lousy letter make?
It wasn't enough. Maybe it would’ve been back then. But right now, it wasn’t enough.
“It doesn’t matter now.”
Shiro kneeled down to pick up his glasses. He brushed himself off and cleaned each lens.
Keiko’s phone continued to ring.
“You should probably get that.”
Shiro walked past her. It was too late to catch a bus, and he needed time to think. A walk would be good for him.
He felt the numbness he was used to returning. His body felt empty, his anger subsided. He needed to make his exit with whatever dignity he had left.
“So that’s it?!” Keiko yelled behind him.
He paused and turned his head to look at her. “You know, I was dreading this conversation. But I'm glad we got to talk one last time. We both have closure now, don't you think?”
He didn’t mean to sound so cold.
The girl stood in silence.
“Take care of yourself, Keiko.”
Shiro walked the rest of the way home, more at peace than he had been the last six years.
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Keiko fell to her knees once Shiro was out of view.
I lost him.
She couldn’t even cry, the rain came almost ironically. She didn’t care.
I lost him.
Keiko repeated the words in her mind. Her phone buzzed and chimed on the floor beside her. She didn’t have the energy to deal with her mother. Not today. She would get far too much pleasure from Keiko’s suffering. So would Sosuke. She had to stay strong; she had to keep it to herself. She could not cry. No matter how much it hurt to watch her only friend walk away. No matter how much her heart was breaking. She will not cry. She had no one now. Maybe she never did. No matter how much it hurts, she will not cry…no matter what.
“Did the witch finally get knocked down?” she heard a girl’s voice. A voice she’s heard in Mr. Azuma’s class.
“It’s about time someone brought you down a peg.”
Keiko didn’t acknowledge the two girls. Not when they berated her. Not when they laughed at her pain. She didn’t move a muscle when they pulled her wet hair.
Stupid girls.
Keiko could almost laugh at their attempts at hurting her. They were weak compared to mother. They held no metal pipes, no broomsticks or whips. They couldn’t hurt her. Not really.
One of the girls stomped down on Keiko’s hand with the heel of her shoe. It did hurt. Physically, anyway. Keiko winced and the other girl placed a foot on her back, pushing her face to the ground. Her phone buzzed by her cheek.
“Aw, look, your momma is calling. Do you need her to come save you?”
Both girls laughed.
“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?” Keiko could barely recognize Tetsuya’s voice. It was more aggressive than usual.
“N-nothing Mr. Azuma. She provoked us, we were just defending ourselves.” Said one girl.
“Get out of here!” He said between gritted teeth.
The girls ran away, but not before whispering in Keiko’s ear.
“We’ll get you back for this,” said the girl, who removed her foot from Keiko’s back.
“Damn teenagers,” Tetsuya pulled Keiko up with both hands.
He sounded like a grumpy old man the way he cursed them under his breath as he brushed her off. She couldn’t help but smile. In fact, she had to hold her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing too loudly.
“Are you okay?” Tetsuya asked.
Her hand fell to her side as the sound of Shiro’s voice echoed in her mind.
“I lost him.” She muttered under her breath. She didn’t mean for it to leave her lips.
“Lost who?” he questioned.
Keiko stretched her sore arms above her head. Out of all the people she wouldn’t dare sulk in front of, professor Azuma is at the top. She looked toward the bus stop, ignoring the phone and her homeroom teacher.
Keiko’s phone buzzed loudly on the floor where it was left. The same number that has called her over 20 times in the last 40 minutes.
“You gonna get that?”
The girl stood frozen as she remembered who was waiting for her arrival. The woman who had been impatiently dialing her number over and over.
Tetsuya sucked his teeth before impatiently snatching the phone.
“Hello, Ms. Matsuda’s phone.” The man answered.
“What?! I’ll take her to you right away!” he said.
“It’s your mother. She’s in the hospital.” He grabbed her hand and guided her toward the teacher’s parking lot. “Let’s go, I’ll take you to her.”
Keiko followed the man to his motorcycle. She said nothing as he strapped his spare helmet on her head, tucking her hair behind her ears. He helped her onto the seat and they took off.
She stayed silent for the ride. He already knew where the hospital was located. A part of her wanted to tell him. A part of her trusted him enough to tell him. To beg him not to take her there.
He seemed so eager to help her. So sure that he was doing the right thing. He didn’t know what awaited her. He didn’t know what was coming was far worse than two teenage girls. But he thought he was helping her. And he was a good teacher. He was a good man. So she let him take her. She gripped the sides of his jacket as he drove her to see that woman.
Mother.
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SMACK
Keiko rocked to the side as her mother delivered another blow to her cheek.
“Where the hell have you been, you useless girl?”
Her mother’s monitor beeped faster the more agitated she grew.
“Who is that man you came with? Don’t think I don’t know!” she smirked, looking down at the girl. “Don’t think for one second anyone would want you! Who the hell do you think you are?!”
SLAP
“Why did you take so long to answer my call?”
Keiko ignored the woman. She knew very well that it didn’t matter what she said. No excuse was good enough for her mother. Not even death.
Doris stood on her knees from the elevated hospital bed. This way, she was a few inches taller than Keiko.
“M-Mrs. Matsuda please!” A nurse held Doris by the arms. “Please, you’ll have another attack if you overdo it again.”
Doris pushed the nurse away and grabbed Keiko by her hair.
“And whose fault is that?! Did you hear that, you useless bitch?! If your mother dies, it’s all your fault! It’s your fault!”
The nurse rushed out of the room. She’d come back with a sedative soon enough. Keiko held the roots of her hair so her mother wouldn’t yank out too much of it.
“You’re here to serve me and don’t you forget it! Sosuke moved us away because of you, and he only brought you back to serve me!”
Keiko had heard enough praise for her lazy brother. She was nothing but an inconvenience to both her mother and Sosuke. She would’ve given anything to receive the attention her older brother did. To be cared for by someone. Anyone.
At least, that was before. Back when she was still holding on to Shiro. Her best friend. The boy who she’d fought so hard to be reunited with. The same one who broke her heart and left her hours ago.
That Keiko would have given anything. But not this Keiko.
This Keiko never asked to be born. This Keiko has lost the will to carry on. This Keiko had no one to fight for and no one that fought for her.
The image of Sosuke, picking her up from school. Loading her on a bus with a plane ticket and their deranged mother. Memories of her begging him to bring her back home. Begging for him to give Shiro her letters. Her pleading was only met with indifference. Sosuke did not deserve praise. He didn’t care about mother, or father, or any of us.
“Then why isn’t he taking care of you, if he’s so great?”
The words came out on their own and she didn’t regret it one bit. What did she have to lose? She’d already lost the only thing she cared about.
Sosuke agreed to bring her and mother back from Spain on the condition that she be their mother’s sole caretaker. But that didn't matter now. She was free of this. She didn’t have a reason to fight anymore.
“What the hell did you say?” Doris looked down at her hands. Keiko watched as her mother picked up her IV pole and held it over her head.
“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY!?”
Keiko waited for the blow to come. She stood with her eyes closed. Maybe if she hit the right spot, Keiko could keep her eyes closed forever. Maybe no one would come to her funeral, like no one had come to her fathers. Maybe Shiro would smile for real again when he found out she was gone. Maybe things would be better for everyone if she would just disappear.
She waited for the pain. For the peace. But it never came. The room grew quiet. She opened her eyes and to her surprise, Tetsuya’s back was to her and he was holding the pole mother tried to beat her with in both hands.
“Please rest now, Mrs. Matsuda.” The nurse injected the sedative and Doris went limp in her arms.
Keiko’s body was lifted off the ground as Tetsuya pulled her into his arms like a child.
“We’re leaving now.” He said to the nurse as he pushed the door open with one hand while carrying her in the other with ease.
“I can walk.” Keiko pushed off the man’s chest, but he only held her tighter.
When they reached his motorcycle, he sat Keiko on the seat and leaned over her. She waited for him to give her the spare helmet, but he stayed that way. Just hovering over her as she sat in silence. After a while, he placed the spare helmet over her as he’d done before and took his seat in front.
She pointed the way to her house and only spoken when absolutely necessary. When they got to the long noisy road that led all the way to her house, she clutched on tight to Tetsuyas chest and cried. She cried loudly and childishly. She knew she was gripping Tetsuya tight enough to hurt him. But he didn’t say a word. She cried like that the entire way home.
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When they arrived, Keiko didn’t move herself from Tetsuya’s back. He kept his hands gripped on the bike, though he had already shut it off. She waited until her tears ran dry before she finally released the man.
He waited until her hands were at her sides before he slowly lifted himself off his seat. He helped her down and gently removed her helmet for her, brushing her wild hair back behind her ears.
Keiko sat on her front porch and let the redness on her face subside.
“Are you going to be okay?” It was a complete contrast to the Tetsuya that had yelled at her on her first day of school.
“I’ll be alright.” Keiko shrugged her shoulders. “Mothers, am I right?”
Keiko let out a forced laugh that hurt her ribs, but Tetsuya only sighed and took a seat beside her on the porch.
“You don’t have to stick around here, you know.” She didn’t need pity, not from him.
“Has it always been like that?” He ignored her.
“No.” Keiko buried her face in her knees. “Mom sort of lost it after my dad died.”
Tetsuya leaned into her, as if waiting for more of the story.
“My dad died in an accident when I was little,” Keiko paused, putting together the pieces of her childhood she’d long forgotten.
“Dad was a nice guy, you know. Nice to everyone. He would bring friends over after work to drink.”
Keiko felt the corners of her mouth pull up. “We always had a full house. Mom was always upset by the noise. Papa was just friendly like that.”
“He sounds like he was very loved.” Tetsuya encouraged.
“Thing is... when he died, no one showed up at the funeral.” Keiko cradled herself. “No one came to give their condolences. No one cared to say goodbye, to see his family. To give back an ounce of what he gave.”
Keiko scrunched her nose, reliving the disgust she felt for other humans at that moment. “He was forgotten. He didn’t matter in the end.”
In the end, none of us matter. Keiko thought to herself.
Tetsuya stood up from the porch and kept his back to her.
“Maybe they just couldn’t say goodbye.” Tetsuya looked up at the sky. “Maybe they thought if they didn’t acknowledge his death, they could go on pretending he was still here. Maybe they’re all just waiting for him to call them up and say Hey! Let’s grab a beer.”
Tetsuya turned to look at Keiko, who was now standing up straight, staring at him in awe.
“Point is, kid, you matter to someone.”
Keiko felt the hot tears pouring down her face. She tried to wipe them off without him seeing.
“Who you calling kid, old man? I told you. I’m almost 21.” Keiko pouted.
“You’re still my worst student.” He said, patting her head.
“Eh? Your classes are hard!” She protested.
“Their core subjects, moron.” He argued.
The two laughed and talked some more about trivial things. She knew he was just trying to get her mind off of her mother. She felt guilty for taking up so much of his time.
“What about Ishida? Were you able to talk—” He cut himself off before he could finish the sentence.
“You mean Shiro?” She was surprised by his question.
“Teachers really do know everything, huh?” Keiko dug around in her backpack. “That reminds me. Could you be a dear and return this for me?”
“What the hell do you think I am, a delivery boy?” Despite his protests, he took the file from her hands.
“We talked…” she answered the question. “But it didn’t go well.”
He leaned into her as he’d done before. He was pretty interested in his student’s lives. He was either a really good teacher or just a nosy one.
Either way, Keiko didn’t want to talk about Shiro. Lucky for her, it was getting dark out.
“You should go inside.” He said, as if he’d read her mind. “If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Thanks, Teach.” Keiko gave the man a salute.
She picked her shoes up from the ground and pushed the sliding door open, watching Tetsuya as he drove out of sight.
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“Shoes go over there.” She heard her brother yell from the kitchen.
She turned to look at him. He was sitting at the dinner table eating instant noodles, pointing toward the rack by the door. The smell of his dinner made her nauseas.
“I thought you guys were going to stay out there forever.” He teased with both hands cupping his face.
“Who knew Azuma was into younger chicks?” He said, spooning food into his mouth.
“It’s not like that, you idiot.” Keiko kicked her shoes off toward the rack.
“Someone’s in a bad mood.”
“I’m going to have a bath.” Keiko ignored him and walked toward the bathroom.
“Whoa Whoa,” Sosuke stood in her path. “Un momento, señorita.”
He held her chin and examined her face.
“That’s going to leave an ugly one.” He turned her face from one side to the other, examining the marks left on her skin from her latest meeting with mother.
Keiko slapped her brother’s hands away and continued to the restroom.
“I’m used to it.” She pushed past her brother and into her room. She grabbed her pajamas and some slippers and locked herself in the bathroom. She turned on the shower before taking off her uniform.
She rinsed her mouth in the sink and held her uniform up to her face. It was still dirty from the altercation with the girls, but it smelled like Tetsuya. The image of him protecting her from her mother’s blows embedded in her mind. No one has ever stood up for her before. She wished she could’ve stayed in his arms a while longer.
“Geez, what are you thinking, you idiot?” She tossed her clothes on the floor and stepped into the shower.
He’s a teacher.
Though Keiko was well over the legal age. She didn’t want to make her reputation worse than it already was. Shiro would never be associated with her if she had been involved in an inappropriate relationship.
Not that it mattered anymore. Still, she would never do that.
Keiko held her head under the water and let it run down her face, washing away the memories of the days events.
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