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45 - Insecurity

“Lady Elise?” said one of the elders. “Are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine,” said Elise.

She was still hovering in the air right where she stopped when she heard Freddy. It had shocked her enough that it was apparently visible even to the drow.

“I’ll be going now,” she said.

She didn’t wait for a response and instead went the opposite direction that Freddy and Naomi had gone.

How much did he know? When did he notice? Did she let something slip just now? Or had he known from the beginning? Why wasn’t he doing anything about it? He wanted her to sign a death contract to keep it secret, but now, he was just fine with her knowing?

She cursed herself. She should have been expecting it. She was passed out when it happened, but he must have noticed the divine power when it blocked Jerry’s memory spell. Or Jerry had noticed that his spell didn’t work, and let Freddy know. So why did he let her live?

He said that Ostra was looking forward to her return. What did that mean? Did anyone else know? Jerry had to know, right? He was the one that did the memory manipulation. He was probably the one that let Freddy know. But in that case, why didn’t Emilia know?

Was it only Freddy then? No one else seemed to have sensed the divine power when she used it the other two times. They could see the signs, like the glowing wings and eyes, but her wings were disabled and she passed out when Jerry messed with her memory, so if they couldn’t sense it, they wouldn’t have noticed. But then how did Freddy know?

He must have already known. That was why he was so insistent on her joining Ostra. That was why he was so open to assuaging her various concerns, even going as far as to outright say that they dealt in assassination and brainwashing for the sake of full disclosure. Was that why he wasn’t doing anything about her now? He didn’t want to anger the god or goddess who had granted her the Rune of Fate? Or was he just trying to stay on her good side?

Either way, she didn’t like it one bit. Knowing about a secret organization that was trying to change the world was one kind of danger. Knowing that the secret organization knew she was aware of them and their crimes, and wasn’t bound by any contracts or restrictions was another. Clearly, the other Chairs didn’t know, or Emilia would have known, but the Chairs probably weren’t the ultimate authority in Ostra.

For one, Freddy was much stronger than Emilia or Jerry or any of the other Chairs she met. He also seemed to have complete control over the contracts, which indicated he had some higher level of power. Was he the boss? Or was he just part of a higher level group. Was he the only one who knew about her, or did the others at his level–if they existed–know as well?

With every subsequent thought, her paranoia grew, and her situation seemed more and more precarious. The most pressing issue of all though was what Freddy would do now. He was still right there. What if he decided to force her back to Ostra right then? There would be nothing she could do. Was that his plan already? Was that why he said what he said?

Should she have been running away? To where? Was there anywhere she could go that he couldn’t find her? Probably not. In that case, it would be better to wait and cooperate, and maintain as much power as possible.

However, he never returned. After a few minutes, Naomi arrived, beaming, and Freddy was nowhere to be seen.

“It’s over!” she said.

“Is he gone?” asked Elise.

“Yeah. He put his hand on the body, it disappeared, he thanked me, and then he disappeared too. No clue where he went.”

“Away, hopefully,” said one of the Elders. “Associating with creatures of his level is… risky.”

“Agreed,” said another. “I am grateful for his help, but his continued presence here would have been a burden, and would likely draw unwanted attention from the outside.”

“He probably knew that,” said a third. “That’s why he left so suddenly. He seemed quite savvy. I wouldn’t want to be his enemy.”

“Agreed,” repeated the second Elder. “I can’t believe it was all resolved so quickly though.”

“I can’t believe we got to speak with a 9th tier,” said Naomi. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“A 9th tier?” asked Elise. “How can you tell?”

Elise had learned while living with the dwarves that 9th tier was the highest mortal tier. The evolution or class upgrade after 9th tier was ascension to godhood. If they were right, that meant Freddy was about as close to a god as she could meet in person, but she had no idea how Naomi knew.

“Only 9th tiers can use Domain skills,” said Naomi. “They’re incredibly rare. Only one drow from our tribe has ever made it to that level.”

“Oh,” said Elise. “I didn’t know that.”

“Where did you know him from?” asked Naomi?

“I-” Elise hesitated. “I can’t say.”

Freddy had allowed her to live with her memories. She doubted his mercy would extend if she started telling everyone about them.

“I had only met him once though,” she continued. “I knew he was strong, but I had no idea how strong.”

“Well, we’re lucky he was benevolent,” said the first Elder. “And that he had no love for Emilia. If he was on her side…”

A heavy silence fell over the group. For a few seconds, no one spoke as they all imagined the possibilities.

“Well, we should announce this to the rest of the tribe,” said one of the elders. “Before someone does something stupid.”

“Yes, that’s a good idea,” agreed another. “Naomi, have your scouts gather everyone by the Mother Tree.”

“Yes, Elder.”

An hour later, almost the entire tribe of drow were gathered around the Mother Tree. It seemed that news of the treaty had yet to spread, or if it had, it was in the form of twisted rumors. The mood was somber, and many of the drow looked like they were mentally prepared to watch the execution of a loved one.

When the treaty was announced, it was initially met with shock and disbelief, followed by tentative joy. It was not a universal sentiment, but the fear of all-out war seemed to have made most of the drow re-evaluate how much they valued the death of the dwarves. Elise noticed that the parents seemed especially relieved to hear the news.

The news that the Mother Tree would be cured soon was met with much more universal happiness. There was cheering and laughter, and even some tears when the Elders made that announcement.

When the gathering was over, they threw a feast, and for the first time, Elise actually participated. With the threat of war gone, she no longer had a good reason to push the drow away. Unfortunately, like with the dwarves, most of the feast consisted of mushrooms. There was meat as well, but although she wished she could eat it, even after becoming a fey, her taste buds still rejected it. Hopefully that would eventually change with one of her future evolutions.

The feast became an ongoing party that lasted hours beyond the time when most of the drow had eaten their fill, so when Elise had reached the limit of her social battery, she excused herself for some alone time. She flew up to the top of the Mother Tree in search of a fruit to rest on. She could still hear the sounds of the party far below, but they faded to a low murmur that she could tune out if she so desired.

She settled on one of the fruits nearest to the main trunk, which also happened to be the highest up. When she arrived though, there was someone already waiting there.

“Jean?” she asked.

The tiny pixie was hugging his knees with his back to the fruit’s stem. His head was bowed between his legs, and he did not respond to her.

“Jean?” she repeated. “Are you alright?”

“Go away,” he said, his voice muffled.

“We’re having a party down there,” she said. “You’re welcome to join.”

“I don’t care,” he said. “Go away, murderer.”

“...Is this about Emilia?”

“Shut up!” He raised his head and glared at her with puffy red eyes. “Don’t say her name!”

“Emilia was tricking us all,” explained Elise.

“Liar! She wouldn’t do that!”

“But she did.”

“Liar!”

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“Why don’t you come on down. Talk to Naomi and-”

“She’s a liar too. You’re all liars.”

Elise sighed. Emilia would have been like a mother to Jean, or at the very least an older sister. Even after being mind controlled by her during the final battle, he was still in denial about it. In that moment, Elise was struck by how much he reminded her of herself.

She was five when her real parents died, and she had to move in with her aunt and uncle. At first, everything seemed normal and happy. It didn’t take long though for her adopted parents to get comfortable with ordering her around and being disappointed when she didn’t live up to their unreasonable expectations. It took Elise years of trying and failing to receive their approval before she was able to accept that they didn’t love her the way she thought they did.

Jean’s situation was obviously very different from hers, but the similarities were there. Unfortunately, she still didn’t know what to say. No one had said anything to her when she was struggling. She had to figure it out on her own. Was that what was best for him too? Would trying to comfort him only make things worse.

“J-Jean?” she said hesitantly.

He turned away from her.

“I know it hurts right now, but… it will get better. I promise.”

“Go away.”

“Okay, but just know that you always have a home with the drow.”

Jean didn’t respond, so Elise flew away. She didn’t have anything left to say, and she didn’t know what else she could say that would help.

She flew away to find a fruit of her own to relax on, and then started thinking about the future. The war was almost certainly resolved. The contract included clauses on quashing any rebellious groups to prevent attacks by groups like the vigilante’s trying to continue the war. Even if one or two slipped through, the leadership of both races would make sure that there were no major consequences.

Soon, Sindri would bring the antidote to the Mother Tree’s poison, at which point the tree would be healthy again, and Salome would awaken. After that, it would just be a simple matter of waiting until the dwarves made it to the surface.

Wait, why do I need to do that? She thought. I can just leave right now.

She looked up toward the roof of the cavern where the hidden tunnel was located. She could just fly out right at that moment and be free of the caverns without needing to worry about what would happen to the dwarves and drow after she left. It wouldn’t be guiltless though. She would feel bad if she never said goodbye to Naomi. And the dwarves too. Hallbjorn and Greta…

She flinched when she remembered Greta. Everything had been so chaotic during the past few days that she had almost completely forgotten. Was she even still alive? The doctor said he could only guarantee her a month, and it had been a month and a half already. What if she was dying right at that moment?

She wasted no time worrying further and jumped down and flew toward the tunnel connecting the two races. As she was on her way, she considered that the dwarves might not be happy to see her, or that the word of the treaty might not have spread properly and that she would be attacked on sight, but she decided she didn’t care. She was much faster now. It still wasn’t much compared to anyone focused on speed, but she was mostly confident she could get past whatever dwarves were waiting for her quickly enough that they wouldn’t be able to react properly. Before she got more than a few dozen feet into the tunnel though, she encountered an impassable wall with a familiar face.

“Elise?” asked Sindri.

“Sindri,” she said. “I need to get into Dokkalfheimr.”

“Why?”

“I need to see Greta.”

“The historian? Why?”

“She’s dying. I don’t want to regret not seeing her again.”

“Oh. Right. Well, you can go in. I don’t think anyone will stop you. It’s… kind of a mess.” He turned to the other guards behind him. “Make way!”

The guards behind him, who were marching in a double file line parted, giving her an aisle to pass through.

“Thank you!” she said, zooming by.

On her way past, she noticed that two of the dwarves were carrying a large stone chest between them.

It must be the antidote, she thought.

When she made it through to the other side, she saw that Dokkalfheimr was indeed, as Sindri put it, “kind of a mess.” When the dwarves and drow split, the dwarves erected two layers of walls, one at the far end near the Mother tree, and one at the close end near the city. Freddy had blown both of them to bits, and there were pieces of it scattered all over the place. A few of the unfortunate houses nearest to the walls had holes in their roofs and walls from the shrapnel.

An army of laborers was at work cleaning up the mess and making quick repairs to the most precarious of the houses. There was a small presence of guards too, but for a nation that had been at war a couple hours ago, they seemed to have transitioned to peace very quickly. It probably helped that they had a 9th tier threaten them into compliance.

When she first appeared, only one of the guards noticed her, and by the time he pointed her out to the others, she was already overhead and on her way to the main castle. She was focused on getting to the castle, but she was still keeping her eyes and ears open in case any complications arose, and she noticed a few oddities.

The first was that aside from the site of the explosion of the wall, the city was perfectly intact. Whatever Freddy had done to get the dwarven leadership to follow him to the drow didn’t decimate the city. Elise was relieved that Freddy had listened to her request not to kill anyone, though she couldn’t even begin to fathom how he managed to do that while blowing up the walls.

The second was that everything was strangely quiet. It didn’t sound empty like a ghost town, but it did sound hushed. All the voices she heard were whispers, and there was almost no one out on the streets. Whatever the dwarves had announced to their people must have been much more somber than what the drow had. No doubt it had something to do with Freddy’s presence. She imagined that being on the receiving end of a somewhat hostile visit from a 9th tier would do that to a group’s perception of a situation.

However, the silence in this case was also a good thing. Silence meant that no one was rebelling, and no one was trying to rile anyone up. It also meant that no one was grieving. That thought at least was more comforting.

She arrived at the castle to find the gates and front door flung wide open. There were guards manning both, but, like the ones by the remains of the wall, they were already in peacetime mode. It took them a few seconds to register what was happening when Elise stopped in front of them.

“What are you doing here, you traitor?” said one of them, raising his ax toward her.

Elise recognized his face, but couldn’t recall his name. She had seen him around a few times while living in the castle, but didn’t remember ever meeting him. The other dwarf, however, she did know. It was Jonas, one of her escort guards from when she would visit Greta’s house for lessons.

“Enough, Ben,” said Jonas. “The war is done. There are no more traitors. Elise, despite how it may look, the castle is not open for visitation. We just haven’t been able to close the doors yet.”

Elise glanced at the doors and saw that they weren’t as intact as they initially appeared. The bottoms looked like they had been melted into liquid then stuck to the ground, and the hinges looked like they no longer worked.

“I need to see Greta,” she said. “Is she still alive?”

“As far as I know,” said Jonas. “But I still can’t let you in. I have strict orders not to let anyone in, especially not drow or fey.”

Elise was frustrated, but after confirming that Greta was alive, she felt less rushed. She still wanted to see the cranky old woman, but she was willing to slow down a bit so as not to cause too much trouble.

“Can you ask someone at least?” she asked. “Or at least ask how Greta is doing? I’m just worried that if I- if I don’t see her now, I might never get to see her again.”

Jonas frowned, then sighed. “Alright. Ben, don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

“Yes, sir,” said the other dwarf with a scowl.

Jonas turned and walked into the castle, leaving Elise alone with Ben. The two sat in silence waiting. Elise tried her best to ignore his glare, but it was too intense. It wasn’t quite murderous, but it was far from friendly, and she had yet to see him blink. She considered using {Charm} to try to soften his opinion of her, but was almost immediately repulsed she even considered it.

After seeing what Emilia had done with her manipulation abilities, Elise wanted no part in them, and she was disgusted with herself for using them so freely in the past. She wanted to believe that she would never go as far as Emilia would but she had already been sliding down the slippery slope. It started with a simple desire for survival, using {Charm} and {Suggest} to make people want to kill her less, but not 3 days ago, she had been reveling in her ability to make two other creatures want to kill each other. How much longer would it have taken before she was able to justify doing the same to sapient creatures?

She shook her head and turned her attention back to the matter at hand. She needed to find a way to reduce Ben’s hostility toward her without resorting to manipulation.

“So, your name is Ben?” she asked.

“Ben is what my friends and superiors call me,” he said. “My name is Benjamin.”

“Nice to meet you, Benjamin. My name is Elise.”

“I knew that already.”

“I just wanted to formally introduce myself.”

His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why?”

“I just wanted to be polite. I’ve seen you around before, but this is the first time I’ve gotten a chance to talk to you. How long have you been a castle guard?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’m just making small talk.”

“Make small talk with someone else. I’m not interested.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

Well, that didn’t go well, she thought. Making people like me without {Charm} and {Suggest} is hard.

At that thought, something clicked into place and her mind began running at a hundred miles an hour. She was there to see Greta, the dwarf with whom she was closest, but was she actually close with Greta? Or was their relationship just a flimsy facade built on forced interaction and manipulation?

And what about Hallbjorn? He only really accepted her at first because he could use her. The drow only liked her because she was a fey. Even her relationship with Naomi only existed because they had a common goal. Now that Emilia was dead and the war was over, what would they be? Elise knew almost nothing about Naomi and Naomi knew nothing about her. They could never see each other again, and lose nothing.

Even Sophie and the Gray family only took her in because she was cute. What if she had lower Charisma? What if Elise hadn’t done everything in her power to seem harmless and useful? She would have been stew.

The new world suddenly felt lonelier than it ever had. Ben’s gaze felt like it was boring a hole in her side, and it wasn’t the only one. From the nearby houses she could feel the prying eyes of other dwarves peering through their windows at her. She could hear them whispering to each other in their rooms. They were too far and too muffled to distinguish their words, but she didn’t need to. She knew what they were saying.

“It’s the traitor.”

“What is that thing doing back here?”

“Did she come to finish the job?”

“Why haven’t the guards done anything about her yet?”

She thought back to when she first arrived, before they all knew she was a fey, when they all cheered her on, and grasped for her dust. That had all been fake too, built on a superstition about a marking on her chest. And how quickly things had changed when word got out about her species.

Every single relationship she had formed since coming to the new world was fake. Superficial. Even the ones she thought were real were just products of her own manipulative habits. She was just like Emilia, manipulating others for her own benefit. Maybe the older fey was right.

She felt a strong urge to leave right then. She didn’t want to see Greta anymore. Knowing she was alive was enough. She could just leave, and everything would be fine. No one would ever know. Or if they did, she would be too far away to care. She was a split second away from doing just that when Jonas returned from within the castle.

“The king has given you permission to enter,” he announced. “And he says to come see him once you’re done with Greta.”