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Bundao
Fresh Stupid

Fresh Stupid

“Mistress Song!”

The summoned mistress sighed.

“A perfect day for this. Why is he even visiting?”

“Idiot Li probably sent him some sort of message. He’s really smug right now.”

Mistress turned her head to look at me.

“Yes, I keep track of him. He likes to approach me and ask for pointers about once a month.”

“And here I’d hoped he’d learn some sense. I think I’ll just have to turn his education over to you entirely, now that you’re an Adept. But right now-”

“MISTRESS SONG!”

“He’s getting louder.”

“Yes, we’ll have to talk to him. Follow me, you two.”

Kaoru and I did as instructed, both of us still fairly obviously not human. I get the feeling the loud person wouldn’t like that, but it was out of my hands.

“Do stop shouting, Expert Gin. They can doubtless hear you three valleys off, the way you’re carrying on. I certainly can hear you plainly from the bathhouse.”

This Expert Gin looked like he might be Idiot Li’s twin. Tall, lean, squared-off hair making his head look even blockier than it already was, and a cruel glare that made it clear that he considered himself above all others. Still, I looked at him fairly closely, and realized I had a way to deal with him.

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“Mistress Song, my esteemed younger brother-”

“Don’t bother, human. You came here to kill us because we’re monsters in your eyes and you like to be a big man and show off your power. It’s not even about Li.” I glanced over at the idiot, gloating behind the butcher hut. “Though I’ll take that up with him later. For now, I’ll take you on and shut you up.”

He didn’t even take the time to open formalities, just rushed me. But even if he was a stage higher than me in cultivation, he was really weak with it. All power, no finesse. And while I wasn’t entirely used to this form, it was still pretty much me-shaped. Duck, left kick, flip over his head, five- no, six punches to his back, slide under his counter and through his guard, fire my knee up between his legs. Break his nose while he goes cross-eyed for good measure.

“Well, that’s very impressive Xiang. Defeating an opponent stronger than you are through speed and technique, demonstrating unusual power in your blows, and all this only minutes after you finished breaking through to Adept. I might have to take you seriously the next time we spar.”

Idiot Gin groaned, and tried to say something. I kicked him in the ribs.

“Gin, I appreciate that you are close with the Elders. And I appreciate that they do not see eye-to-eye with me in terms of who should and should not be allowed to cultivate. But I believe Adept Xiang Tuzi has just demonstrated that she has more than earned a right to continue existing, and I can attest that she is only a genuine threat to those who wish harm upon her. And everyone at this monastery would say the same. Now. Stand.”

Gin stood, and Mistress broke his nose a second time.

“I warned you what would happen the next time you came to this monastery, looking for trouble. And like your younger brother, you seem to have severe hearing problems. But don’t worry, I have the perfect instructor for him now, and you can be on your way, assured that I am taking proper care of him.”

It was a clean dismissal, even if Mistress didn’t use the actual words. Gin got to his feet, shaky and clearly still itching to fight, when a ball of fox fire grazed his cheek.

“Well, it’s not fair that you two get all the fun…”

I shook my head.

“Sorry Kaoru, we’ll play later. I want to start my new student’s education.”

Smiling coldly, I turned my head to Idiot Li.

“It’s time I stopped going easy on you.”