I was the first to admit I wasn’t smart. I often called myself stupid and naïve, but I thought I was doing alright.
Madeline shook her head. “Worse. Why do you think I was sent to your side?”
I didn’t have an answer to that, having only recently figured out that the Duke or Duchess hadn’t sent Madeline to my side. In all my considerations, I didn’t even remember Bastian. Hell, other than Selena, I often forgot about my other siblings. “I was useful,” I said with more confidence than I felt.
She nodded. “Why am I here now?”
I tilted my head to the side. “I’m still useful.”
Madeline nodded. “Good.” She walked to the window and looked into the courtyard. “I don’t know what stimulated you if it was the seven days of harsher than usual confinement or the news of your marriage, but you’ve changed.”
My heart raced. Madeline brought up the one thing I didn’t want others to notice. I kept silent for fear of revealing more than I already had. “Have I?” I checked my behavior from top to bottom but couldn’t figure it out.
“How many times have you left this room?” Her hand swept out, but she didn’t look away from the window.
I started laughing. I couldn’t stop until my chest was heaving and tears streamed down my face.
Yeah.
How often had I left this room?
It was only five to six times in as many days.
Unless someone called, I didn’t leave my room as though chained inside.
The more I thought about it, the harder I laughed until I collapsed on the floor.
What determination to die?
I felt scared.
The choices I had to make, the future, my shadow, all of them scared me. My most reckless and decisive action was threatening the Viscountess and asking permission to leave the castle.
Other than that, I stayed in my room and plotted in circles, wondering about everyone's thoughts and what their actions could mean.
My memory wasn’t clear, but I never missed a meal with the family, was always running out to make a mess in the gardens, sneaking out to see the Crown Prince.
This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.
Why else were they always punishing me?
Everywhere I went, I made trouble.
I wanted my presence to be known. I refused to let anyone forget me, even if they looked at me with disgust. It was a way to affirm my existence.
“That doesn’t tell me why Bastian sent you to me in the first place, and why you are here now?” I stood, sat in front of the mirror, and fixed my appearance.
“We were watching to see if there were clues about the Duke’s intentions. You also made a general nuisance of yourself that we hoped to use to our advantage.” Madeline moved from the window. The ornaments at her waist no longer clinked together as she walked.
“And now?” I asked, my voice calm despite my inner turmoil. I couldn’t help my disheartenment, wondering if my actions made a difference.
Madeline didn’t seem shocked by my calm behavior, only curious. “I don’t know. Bastian ordered me to be upfront if you indicated you wanted to meet.”
This brother I didn’t remember became more mysterious. He was testing me at the same time I suspected him. The question was whether I could believe anything Madeline said. “Is there anything you know?”
She pondered my words. “We cannot explain your presence in the castle. Do you know why the nobility favored members of the Kala Tribe as mistresses?” When Madeline saw me shake my head, she continued. “There are three reasons. First, women of the Kala Tribe only give birth to daughters. Second, they never stay with the child’s father once they are pregnant and return to the tribe, ensuring the child is never aware of their parentage. Third, they have a death vow made in the name of the Goddess Avea that they won't marry. All three make them ideal mistresses. No desire for marriage. No desire to make their children the heir or fight for property. And then there is you, a child of the Kala Tribe, left with their father and arranged in a marriage. If he wanted you dead, there are easier ways to kill you.”
A chill settled into my heart. Madeline only knew that much, but I’d not only married but given birth to a son. In my heart, I knew my son was a miracle, but I knew nothing about the death vow.
My gut reaction was to question whether I was a member of the Kala Tribe, but my hair and eyes weren’t fake. There were also the words of the Empress Dowager on my wedding day. Kala Tribe bitch.
I hesitated for a moment. “My mother sold me to the Duke.” I reported the figure but again felt it was more than an issue of money.
“That much?” Madeline’s eyes were wide. “It’s not a large sum, but it’s a waste if all he intends to do is let you die.”
I didn’t explain the Duke’s plan because there was no evidence, and I didn’t trust Bastian’s interest in me.
“When can you arrange a meeting between us?” I asked. Today was suitable. I had plans to leave the castle, and they were more important.
She gave me a chastising look that had me shrinking my neck. “Does it need to be that complicated? Bastian is in the library every day from five to six. You can also go to his office.”
I felt the heavy weight of a chain attached to my ankle dragging me down. It would be better if it were a physical chain that I could break. However, it was another mental issue I had to deal with. I was used to having people tell me where to go and what to do. I didn’t even think to question it, staying in my room, making small moves.
“I will visit him the day after tomorrow in the library at five.” It came at a good time. I didn’t know how the system would scan the books, but the library in the castle should have been my first stop instead of a bookstore.