Opening my eyes felt like lifting two vault doors with sore hands. I attempted to turn my head to avoid the glare of an unreasonably bright sun, but the captain’s window was just wide enough to allow me no escape. I wanted to groan, but my body ‘waking up’ was like submerging in a bath of pain, and all I managed was a whimper. As I glanced at the insanely cluttered floor I saw a very naked and cranky Ruby adding to the mess.
“More fuckin’ books arrgh!” Ruby cursed before flinging a heavy tome from the top shelf, making a thudding sound as it slammed into the carpet. “Where did he…shit…where!?”
Ruby had gone from rummaging the top shelf to desk drawers, and that was enough to wake my voice up.
“Agghh–the hell are you doing?! Why are you trashing the cabi—-ack!” A searing jolt of pain struck my shoulder as I attempted to rise.
“Dammit! Can you not yell!” Ruby clutched her forehead as if my words were as heavy as the book, and she was the target.
It didn’t take me long to put the actions together. She was nursing the wolf-mother of all hangovers and she was desperate trying to find some more liquor. I don’t blame her, I’ve been there before. Well, I do blame her, but at least I can relate.
“There ain’t none in here, Ruby. So don’t touch anything else!”
I found my eyes lingering on her as she continued her futile search, her figure was sculpted like a roguish feminine statue, the type that I imagine that flash old money types would have towering outside their manors next to a fountain. However, while she was light in her complexion she was nowhere near porcelain. Old scars, both light and heavy decorated her tightly packed frame, probably nothing special for her lifestyle. As she finally left the shelf on the desk alone and turned to glance out the cabin window I saw a smattering of fresh bruises covering her back. I was obviously to blame for those, but she didn’t seem to care. It was then I noticed that I was nearly naked as she was, wearing nothing but my undershirt with my coat draped over me in the captain’s cot.
“What…what the.. hell happened..” I said, clutching my neck in discomfort.
“You got what more dangerous folk would have killed for…hell, what they have killed for.” Ruby scoffed before giving her perfectly round rear a teasing smack. “A legend of the skies and seas in more ways than one.”
I tilted my head in disbelief. All it took to make her forget her hangover pain was bragging. I was really beginning to understand Ruby.
“So we really did…uh…” I slid a palm down past my waist to see how sore I was.
“Yes, many times. You…well you surprised me. I expected you to be a lot more tame…you know, as a civilian.
“Well happy to exceed your expectations…again,” I was able to snark through gritted morning teeth.
“Don’t get too familiar with the praise…it was just a one off thing. The Red Menace needs to let off steam like everyone else, and you were nearby. You’re still my damn enemy…pleb.”
“Enemy? Is this dramatic bullshit ever going to end?” I felt my headache growing.
“It’ll end when you give me that shield. And this ship for compensation!”
“Really? You’ll take the ship, then what? You gonna sail it on your own?”
Ruby paused, her fiery spirit cooling for a few seconds as she pondered.
“I’ll…get my own crew, recruit and build from scratch!”
I folded my arms and gave her a taunting smirk.
“From where exactly? You’re in the Alvion mainland, you’re a fucking wanted pirate criminal, and even if you could somehow keep a low profile, you couldn’t go an afternoon without reminding everyone within earshot who you are!”
Ruby took a breath to speak but then her jaw tightened with frustration. I wasn't certain, but I felt like I saw a flash of panic on her face. I continued with vigour.
“In fact, I think you wouldn’t last very long here, how long before the serious bounty hunters zero in on this sleepy port town?”
“You…fuck…I need this ship. I need to get out of here…” Ruby cursed with tight fists.
I watched her for a few more seconds, both gorgeous and indignant as I considered what Knives had suggested the day before. I took a breath and made the proposal.
“You can sail on this ship…but with me, I’m gonna build the crew, as captain.”
Her face began to melt into a smile, but it wasn’t a soft smile, it was a powder keg of amusement that burst instantly into a bellowing laugh. She was so bold with her guffawing I almost forgot she was stark naked.
“Bahahaha ! You!? You think I’m going to scrub the poop deck for a land-shrimp civilian? I have never peeled a turnip and I’ll be skinned alive before I start for you!”
“No- No I don’t mean scrubbing floors I meant-”
“You mean you want me on deck to keep you warm on those long nights? You enjoyed it that much?” Ruby sneered at me before sarcastically licking her lips. “You’re gonna turn a Pirate Legend into a fisherman’s wife? Forget it.”
I face palmed as I re-attempted to articulate.
“I’m a postman not a fisher-...listen to me, I want to work with you, I want your skills and experience as my first mate.”
Ruby’s face changed into something unrecognisable, there was no sarcasm, arrogance or blind rage. She was actually considering my offer at least somewhat seriously. I let my eyes wonder a little as I waited for a response and felt my mouth go a little dry.
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
“First mate to a…” Ruby stopped herself before shifting the side of her mouth in thought. “You’re gonna try and build a crew? For this vessel?” Ruby asked in a voice that sounded sincere.
“From scratch, Me, Knives and you, if you think you can handle it.” I let my jaw ease into an encouraging grin.
“There is absolutely nothing…nothing the Red Menace can’t handle. But if I was to take this insane offer seriously, we’d need a lot more than flintlocks and fancy shields. The other crew positions-”
“I’ll get right on that, as soon as I know you’re on board, Ruby.”
“You…you strange fucking man. You’ve never been captain of anything!” Ruby lifted her chin to snicker. “And the manager at the postal office don’t count.”
“I was independent. And you’re right I’ve never been a ship captain, but what better way to start out than to have The Red Menace as my first mate?” I smiled wider and she finally returned it. “What do you say?”
“I…well I’m not saying much of anything with this damn hangover..you sure there is nothing stashed?”
Her energy had soothed to something so relatable and charming I couldn’t believe it. She was talking like a normal person, and I was finding myself comfortable in her company for the first time. I let the fact that an incredibly interesting and beautiful girl was in a captain’s cabin with me, and I let my instincts guide my next sentence.
“Come over here, Ruby. There are other ways to beat a hangover.” I said hungrily.”
Ruby didn’t have to think it over much before hastily diving into the cot and running her hands in search of my lower warmth. I took handfuls of both cheeks of her backside as I pulled her over me, letting her guide me inside her when she found what she was looking for.
“Mhmm…try not to make a mess on me,” Ruby cooed as she lowered herself on me.
I smiled at her as I was engulfed. “Look around you, pirate. The mess is already here.”
----------------------------------------
Our morning shag was quick and lusty. Thankfully, she didn’t need another fistfight to make it exciting. I don’t know if her orgasm cured her headache, but her mood was much better. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be kissing her, but I did anyway. My mind hadn’t caught up to my body. I was physically attracted to her, but I was almost certain I couldn’t trust her. But it was early in the morning I was horny as hell and she was a great, wild kisser. I decided to judge myself another day.
We emerged from the storehouse, clothed but not completely ready for the day. She walked with more of a stumble than I did. But we were both shielding our eyes from the sun. Knives gave me a morning caw to know he was up and about the sky. Ruby was probably completely sober by this point and she wasn’t saying anything. It was an awkward break of silence but it was probably necessary considering the night before.
“So, you’re alright walking with me to see Frank? You understand why I don’t want to leave you at-”
“Yes, you don’t trust me with your new tub and I wouldn’t trust me either. But even I'm not stupid enough to try to hijack a ship by myself, we need a skeleton crew at the very least otherwise I might as well be riding a really expensive cannonball.”
“Skeleton…crew?” I shuddered at the thought of supplementing the recruitment process with necromancy.
“The bare minimum, I can steer a ship but I don't know anything about engines. Unless you want to eat fish and birds for months we’d need a half decent cook to not only prepare the food but properly store it.”
“I counted 16 cannons on the ship, we’d probably need some sort of artillerymen,” I pondered out loud.
“A gunner chief, yeah. There are at least half-a-dozen other positions I can think of, but it's early,” Ruby said as she scratched her head as if there wasn't a wild mess of hair in the way.
“Well…first things first. I need to finalise the ship purchase. Frank seemed convinced I’d go for it so he should be waiting for me.”
Ruby stretched as she walked, her toned arms flexed impressively in the morning sun and her chest raised and fell in a way that I found hard to look away from.
“Just don't give it a stupid name, ships are for life….Casper.”
The rest of the walk was fairly uneventful apart from a few hollers and cheers by locals who looked like they had been in a fight. It didn't take me long to realise they'd had their arses beat by her in the pub but we're taking it very well.
Ruby waved and smiled, soaking up every bit of celebrity she could. Of course.
The docks were busier than they were the day before, the damp wooden planks made a dull clamour as they were pounded by heavy footsteps. It didn't take me long to realise that a large part of the rabble was dressed in armour.
“City Watch, local.” I whispered to Ruby cautiously.
“Think they’ll notice me?” Ruby said with a beaming grin.
“Keep your head down!” I snapped.
“Go fuck yourself.” She retorted.
I had no answer, so I just tried to focus on not making too much noise and retracing my steps to where I first spoke with Frank. However, as I got closer the crowd got thicker. By the time we got close to the portside shacks, we were being pressed back by heavy armour with a brass finish. The City Guard were in as tight a formation as possible around the dock area.
“Stand back civilians! Keep clear of the crime scene!” A guard bellowed in the direction of the crowd I was pressed against.
“Crime scene? When-?” I began to ask before being cut off by some louder locals behind me.
“What happened to Frank?”
“Dat Dwarf owes me 10 royals!”
“Who shot ‘im?!”
I felt a cold wash of dread over me as I pieced the situation together. Ruby was all shoulders and elbows as she cleared a respectable amount of space for herself in the rabble next to me. We glanced at each other before Ruby spoke up, catching the attention of some of the crowd.
“What was the dwarf shot with? Crossbow? Flintlock?” Ruby commanded attention in a way that only she could.
“Nah, it was one of those shot-sticks with the wide barrel!”
“It’s called a blunderbuss, dumb-arse!”
My ears pricked up, and a memory shot to the front of my mind so fast I couldn’t help but blurt it out.
“Like the one his friend Ellis had? The younger dwarf with the brown beard?”
There were some murmurs from the crowd which told me the ones within earshot probably didn’t know who Ellis was. But there was a small commotion from the tightly packed rank of guards until one of them pushed to the front centering his steely eyes on me from underneath his low-set helmet.
“Young man, you saw Ellis Ruckard with a Blunderbuss?” The guard said, revealing himself to be some rank and authority.
“He pointed it at us when we…arrived here.” I said cautiously. “I don’t know him by his family name though, it was just what Frank called him.
The guard went silent for a moment while a few of his colleagues turned to each other.
“‘We’ being, you and the lady here?”
“Pshhh, ‘lady’ I’m Ru-” Ruby began before I cut her off.
“She’s my sea guide. Helping me chart the waters, Frank and Ellis met us both yesterday morning.”
The guard gave us both a once-over before ordering two behind him to make space.
“Come through this way. The inspector will want to hear this.”
It was a bright morning, but I felt that the sky took on a grey tone as I was led to the site of interest. The guards were everywhere but they made no sounds other than the occasional order, or the creasing of their uniforms. Even Ruby quieted down as she was flanked by a pair of guards behind me. It was a reminder that she was bold and reckless, but not suicidally stupid. As we approached Frank’s office shack, the sound of the crowd got quieter, but the scents got stronger. I didn’t need Ruby or the guards to tell me that it was the stench of gunpowder and blood.
“Wait there.”
The guard that I had pegged as the captain, gave his order swiftly before poking his head in the office shack and muttering something I couldn’t hear.
“What the hell is this?” Ruby muttered, feeling the tension of every second we waited.
Before I could think of a way to say ‘quiet’ there was a shuffle of bodies as two door sentries made room for the shack entrance door.
“Witnesses…no? you have information though.”
The voice I heard was of a high-ish pitch for a man, but still had the gravel of authority. I couldn’t fully see him as the source of the statement was very obscured by the low light of the shack. I attempted to walk closer for a better look before the sentries body blocked me. It was a pretty clear message I had walked close enough.
“Well? What do you know of ‘Ellis’ ? How long did you speak to him?”
I turned back to see a maddening expression on Ruby’s face, she was clearly not comfortable with the restrictive environment that we were put in, and her eyes were darting around in growing desperation. I knew I needed to finish this inquiry as quickly as possible.
“Like I told the guards, I don’t know him. Never met him before I arrived, all I know is that he was with Frank, he had a big gun and he was called Ellis.”
There was a grumble before the figure stepped a little closer but still out of sight.
“Red-brown beard, on the younger side? Mean expression?” I was asked.
“Yes, and a bloodthirsty attitude to go with the scowl, really looked like he wanted to shoot something…someone…anyone.” I added, scouring my memory for details.
“Alright you can come in, both of you.” He said cautiously. “I won't ask for your weapons, just try to keep your movement predictable, yes?”
“Sure,” I confirmed before quickly turning my head to a shrugging Ruby.
We were shuffled into the shack hurriedly and the stench of blood was stronger than ever. Before I even glanced at the man who I was talking to, my eyes hung over the dead body of Frank. Blood and vomit covered almost all of his beard and in his centre mass was a large and ugly gunshot wound. It was sickening enough to almost knock me off my feet, but my morbid curiosity kept me upright.
“So…the dwarf, Ellis, killed him?” Ruby asked nonchalantly, not giving Frank’s corpse more than a glance. “Is he a suspect, Mr Sleuth?”
“That’s what I hope to confirm, and it’s inspector.” The man said as I finally looked up at him. “Inspector Jerome Falls, Sky Authority Division.”
My throat went very cold.