July, 1997

It was the summer before Middle School. Adrian’s parents had loosened up over the years. He’d become a very good student, and they decided that he could spend his free time however he wanted, so long as he kept his grades up.

This summer was different than the last. The girls were different, and they were always in the park. In short shorts. In tank tops. Adrian had a great schedule worked out.

From 5pm until 4:30am, he played Diablo. The only exception to this was when he had some friends over, and they’d play Goldeneye all night instead. He woke up around Noon, which was when it was just starting to get nice and hot. That’s when he got on his bike and rode to Highland Park. That’s where all the girls would lay out in the grass.

The older girls and women looked just like the ones from movies, with big boobs and long legs. He checked them out when he could, but the real victory was when he saw girls from his school.

They had transformed. Even ugly girls who he’d barely noticed at the end of the school year had turned into goddesses. He brought a book with him and found a strategic bench. He’d make it through maybe three or four pages in two hours since most of his time was spent “enjoying the Summer,” as he told his parents.

He wasn’t a total pervert. He was just in love. Laura Hammeler was her name. He had barely noticed her before. She was never in his class in elementary school, but he’d seen her around school. She used to just wear boring jeans and the stupid t-shirts little girls wore. Now she walked into the park wearing cut-off jeans and a shirt that showed off her flat stomach. He was staring at her with his mouth hanging open when she took off the shirt and shorts, and he saw her in a bikini.

She might as well have been naked.

Now whenever he was on the bench in the park, he was waiting to get a glimpse of her. She only came once a week or so, and rarely did she come in a bikini, but Adrian decided that when she did come wearing a bikini, he’d be there. Any other girls he checked out while she wasn’t there were just keeping him occupied until Laura arrived. They didn’t mean anything, but he’d look at them just because he was bored, and because Laura wasn’t there.

“Hey,” a deep voice said.

He looked up, worried someone had caught him looking at the two girls by the fountain.

It was Hunter. He was barely recognizable as Hunter. He had a cool looking chin beard, veiny arms almost like a grown-up’s, and he was almost a full foot taller than Adrian. He was even taller than the girls.

“Hey,” Adrian said.

They’d barely ever spoken since he’d gotten in trouble back when they were little kids. Adrian’s Mom had gone back over there and yelled at Hunter’s parents, and Hunter must have gotten in big trouble too. He hadn’t actually been allowed to have people over when they weren’t home, and Hunter’s older brother had even gotten in trouble because of Adrian.

After that, Hunter and Adrian had mostly pretended they never noticed each other, even when they walked right past each other. Hunter had never been mean to him, but they were definitely not friends.

“You play Goldeneye?” Hunter asked.

“Uhh,” Adrian said. “Yeah, why?”

Two more boys rolled up on their bikes behind Hunter. Both looked way older, just like Hunter, though they were in the same grade as Adrian. He knew their names from school: Bryce and Garrett. He’d never spoken a word to either of them.

“We need a fourth,” Hunter said.

* * *

“Oh, you play on +0?” Adrian asked.

“Yeah, why?” Hunter said.

“My friends and I,” he said, realizing that he was implying Hunter wasn’t his friend, “uh, we put it on -10.”

The more + the number was, the less damage you took. At +0 it sometimes took up to ten shots to kill someone, depending on how strong the weapon was.

“Won’t you die in like one hit?” Bryce said. “That’s gay.”

“Almost always,” Adrian said. “But the edges of explosions won’t kill you, and the Klobb won’t one-shot you either.”

“Whatever,” Hunter said, “we’re doing +0.”

That settled it. Hunter was in charge.

His basement had barely changed since the last time Adrian was there. The wood panel walls had been covered in posters, mostly of barely clothed women. The couch was the same, and the smell was even worse than he’d remembered. There was only space for three people on the couch, and as the “fourth player” Adrian ended up on the floor. He also got stuck with the third-party controller, the weird shaped black one with the analog stick off to the side. A regular N64 controller had three places to grip, this one only had two. He’d have to bring his own controller next time.

There was also only one rumble pack. Hunter got that.

They started to play, and Adrian was amazed at how bad Hunter and his friends were compared to him. Didn’t they play this in ten-hour marathons like Adrian and his friends did?

They played with power weapons, then with proximity mines, and then sniper rifles. It didn’t matter the weapon set or the map, Adrian always won.

Adrian came up behind Bryce, P-90 in hand. Bryce had a P-90 too, which was one of the strongest guns in the game. Adrian strafed back and forth with the c-buttons, aiming just by moving the analog stick left or right. Bryce held down the shoulder button to aim, which forced his character to stand still, and it made him a sitting duck. Adrian hit him over and over until he died, only getting hit two or three times himself.

“This is gay!” Bryce shouted. “Stop moving around so much!”

“You don’t really need to aim with R, the vertical axis usually doesn’t matter,” Adrian said. “Unless they’re up on a ledge or something, even then you can hit C-up or C-down to–”

“Fuck this,” Bryce said. “Let’s play football.”

“Yeah,” Hunter said, throwing the control down. “I’ve had it with this game too.”

What? They’d only been playing 20 minutes. Barely long enough to warm up. No wonder they sucked at the game.

And football? Adrian hated sports games, but he’d probably be able to…

They all got up off the couch and headed for the stairs.

“Oh, is it on Playstation, or?”

They grabbed a football from the bottom of the stairs. Like an actual, physical ball.

Shit.

He raced through his mind for an excuse. If he bailed, they’d only have three people. You couldn’t play football with three people, could you?”

“You coming?” Bryce asked.

Just from the tone in his voice, Adrian knew he couldn’t say no.

“Yeah,” he said, following them up the stairs.

“So we playing tackle, or…” He asked as they left the house and walked down the porch.

Please say they were playing touch. They were all several inches taller than him. All visibly stronger.

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No one even answered him. Garrett ran ahead down the street, and Hunter shot the ball at him like a bullet.

Garrett ran right in front of a car to catch the ball. It honked as he stopped right in front of it, and the driver threw up her hands. Garrett shot her a smile and sauntered, slowly, out of the way, the football tucked beneath his arm.

They were heading straight for the playground where he’d played with Hunter as a kid. It had a baseball field next to it.

“We just play here,” Hunter said, looking at Adrian. “Just for fun.” There was a slight tone of sympathy in his voice, and he eyed the other guys. “You play much, Adrian?”

“Yeah, some,” Adrian lied.

He didn’t even really know the rules.

Hunter nodded. “You can be on my team.”

“Oh shit,” Garret shouted, pointing toward the street. “Check it out.”

Adrian looked over, and saw three girls looking over toward them from the playground. One was Laura Hammeler.

They were all wearing short shorts and tiny little shirts that showed their stomachs. He stared with his jaw hanging wide open.

God, no. She’d see him getting tackled into the ground, fumbling the ball, missing catches, throwing like a girl. She’d see him next to all these guys who were taller and stronger than him.

He’d dreamt of ending up in some of her classes once middle school started. Maybe she’d be forced to work with him for group work or some project. Then he’d be able to win her over with his personality while she was finally peeled away from her scary gaggle of friends. He’d be able to chat her up and show her that he was a perfect match for her without all her friends giggling and snickering at him.

Now that was all ruined. Her first impression of him as a middle schooler, as a sort-of-man rather than a little boy, would just be Bryce knocking him over and calling him “gay.”

Hunter held the ball high up into the air and waved, motioning for the girls to come over.

One of the girls shook her head, but she was smiling. Laura was giggling. He saw the three of them talking to each other, gesturing and laughing a lot, until finally Laura started walking toward the baseball field.

Adrian had spent all summer trying to get a glimpse of this girl, and now he’d give anything to get away from her.

Hunter launched the ball up at a 45-degree angle toward the girls. Adrian recognized the other two now: Amelia and Michelle, both were girls who never spoke to him. “Girl who never spoke to him,” was a bit of a redundant phrase, as no girl ever spoke to him. The ball spun up into a perfect spiral. Michelle screamed and ran away, but Amelia and Laura held up their hands and got ready to catch it.

Michelle backed off before the ball got too close, but Laura strafed to the left, adjusting her position as the ball drew nearer.

Laura caught the ball, pulling it against her chest. She shot Hunter a glowing smile.

Adrian’s chest burned. He wanted that smile, but Laura wasn’t even looking at him. She looked right past him to Hunter.

“Nice catch,” he said. “You guys wanna play?”

Adrian did a quick assessment. The girls were all taller than him. He might be stronger, but—

“You’re not tackling us,” Michelle scoffed.

“You get Adrian,” Bryce said, laughing, “Girls vs. boys.”

The boys all laughed, as did Amelia. Laura and Michelle shot Adrian sympathetic looks, like he was a little kid whose puppy had just died. Those sad looks were worse than laughter.

“We’ll play two-hand touch,” Hunter said. “That’s fair for everyone.”

“I’m in,” Laura said, smiling at Hunter. “I call captain.”

She lobbed the ball over to Hunter. He caught it effortlessly. Adrian was sure he’d have dropped it if their positions had been switched, especially if Laura had thrown it to him and was watching him.

Hunter was a captain, as was Laura. Adrian was in some kind of waking nightmare. It would have been bad enough playing tackle football with the boys, being embarrassed and made fun of in front of the three of them. But no, it had to get worse, the girl he was in love with had to come along and join the game. Now his entire plan for middle school was ruined. The one last mercy would have been if they had just randomly chosen teams, but no: Captains. The worst fear of a kid like Adrian.

“Ladies first,” Hunter said, grinning.

“Hmm,” Laura said, making a big show of who her first pick should be.

Both Bryce and Garrett stood up straighter, sticking their chests out. They actually had chests to stick out, chests with muscles on them. Bryce shoved Garrett, and Garrett punched his arm.

“Michelle,” Lauren said.

The boys laughed.

“Oh, come on,” Garrett said, “That makes no sense!”

“I pick Bryce then,” Hunter said, pointing to his friend.

Michelle walked over to Laura, and Bryce to Hunter.

“Leaving me hanging, bro?” Garrett said, shaking his head.

Now it was just Amelia, Garrett, and Adrian left. Michelle would likely take Amelia, and then Hunter would take Garrett. Adrian sighed. He would be the last pick, but he was spared two hardships. For one, Laura wouldn’t be the one to choose the second-to-last pick over him. Secondly, by choosing Michelle over any of the boys, Laura had established that she was not picking based on strength of the player, so Adrian being chosen last did not necessarily reflect that everyone thought girls were better at football than him.

“Garrett,” Laura said.

“Hey!” Amelia yelped. “What the hell? I thought you were picking your friends?”

“Sorry,” Laura said, laughing, “I want to actually win, you know?”

“You bitch,” Amelia said, smiling.

“Uh,” Hunter said, eyeing Adrian and Amelia.

This was bad. The worst possible outcome. Would Hunter choose a girl over him?

Adrian tried to keep the desperation from his eyes, but he stared at Hunter. He didn’t believe in telepathy, but he tried to burn a mental message into Hunter’s mind. You wanted me to play Goldeneye with you and your asshole friends. You let them drag me here. You got me in trouble all those years ago, and you didn’t even let me play Zelda. You owe me this, you ass—

“Adrian, I guess,” Hunter said.

“Wooo!” Amelia said, “I get to be on the girl’s team!”

“You should have taken the girl,” Bryce grumbled to Hunter as Adrian walked over. “Her arms look bigger, and she’s taller.”

Hunter snorted a laugh. “It’s cool.” He grinned at Adrian and Bryce. “It’s two-hand touch, and all the girls are on the other team anyway.”

Hunter and Bryce grinned like maniacs, then Bryce kicked Adrian in the shin. “You getting hard just thinking about that? Two-handed touching these girls? Or are you as gay as you look?”

“Shut up,” Adrian said, his voice coming out pathetically high and girly sounding.

“The mouth on this one,” Bryce said.

They marked the corners of the field and the ten-yard lines with keys and wallets.

“Fifty yards is good,” Hunter said as they finished. He turned to Adrian and Bryce. “I’m QB.”

Hunter and Laura flipped a coin. Laura won and said she wanted to start on offense.

Each team went to their side of the field. Adrian’s hands were shaking. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth; it was all dry in there. He should have said he needed to go to the bathroom or something, and then just gone home and not come back. The girls would probably just have forgotten about him if he’d done that. He always thought of great ideas after it was too late.

Garrett kicked the ball. It blasted up into the air, going further than either Bryce or Hunter had expected. His teammates had moved up, leaving Adrian in the back. The ball was coming straight for him.

Shit.

He held his hands up, but when he looked up to see the ball, the sun blinded him. The ball was a tiny little black shadow which he barely could see while squinting. Even if he had seen everything perfectly, he wouldn’t have had the coordination and muscle memory needed to move himself into position to catch the thing. He was like a level 1 Sorcerer trying to summon a Golem. It wasn’t going to happen.

He backed up, going further back than he needed to catch it. He’d catch it when it bounced.

It hit the grass ten feet in front of him, then bounced wildly up into the air, spinning edge over edge. Adrian reached for it with both hands as it came toward him—and by some miracle—he caught it.

“Run, dipshit!” Bryce shouted back at him.

He looked up and saw Garrett rushing toward him. Laura wasn’t far behind.

Adrian ran straight down the field. He might be able to work his way toward the edge of the field and get pas—

Hunter grunted and leapt at Garrett. Hunter’s head plowed into Garrett and they both hit the ground. Adrian just ran around them, but now Laura was on him.

She was taller than him, and as shameful as it was to him, she was faster too. He’d already moved toward the edge of the field anyway, so he couldn’t sneak past her. He realized she was going to touch him. It would probably just be on his shoulders, but Laura Hammeler was going to touch him.

A few feet before she was on him, as her hands were already reaching out to get him, Adrian tripped. He hit the ground and slid, he felt his body crash into something. Moments later something warm and soft fell on top of him. Laura.

He felt her thigh touch his shin, and then what must have been one of her breasts press up against his stomach. She rolled off him just as soon as it started, laughing.

“Sorry,” Adrian said, his voice cracking.

“You tackled a girl!” Bryce said.

Laura jumped to her feet. Adrian looked up and saw some dirt on her long legs, and grass stains on her shorts. She reached a hand down to him. Without thinking, he took hold and she helped him up.

“Thanks,” Adrian said, too embarrassed to make eye contact.

“Or maybe she tackled you,” Bryce sneered. “And now you need a girl to help you up?”

“I thought we weren’t tackling,” Amelia said.

“It was an accident,” Laura said, rolling her eyes back at her friend.

“Hunter tackled Garrett too,” Amelia said. “I’m not playing if we’re tackling.”

“I was blocking him,” Hunter said. “Boys can block boys. Chill, Amelia, I won’t block or tackle you.” He grinned at Laura, shooting her a wink. “I won’t block you either, Laura.”

“Oh?” Laura said. “Are you afraid to try and stop me?”

After Adrian had gotten up, Laura had walked past him. She had her hands on her hips, and she was looking only at Hunter again now.

The game wasn’t as embarrassing or traumatic as Adrian had imagined it would be. Still, it was somehow worse. It ended up being a preview of how middle school would be for him. He wasn’t going to get bullied and thrown into a locker. Guys like Bryce weren’t going to dunk his head into the toilet. Girls weren’t going to laugh at him or tease him—at least not to his face. No, he was just going to kind of be there, of no real interest to anyone. Hunter only threw him the ball when it was a last resort, and Adrian rarely caught it. Each time Hunter tagged Laura, or Laura tagged Hunter—which seemed to happen every play—they laughed and flirted with each other. The same happened soon enough with Amelia and Bryce. The few times Adrian managed to tag anyone, it was almost like it never even happened. No one reacted, or said good job, or cared. No girls flirted with him.

They stopped keeping score, and Garrett soon mumbled something about dinner. He’d been just as shoved out of the game as Adrian. The game wasn’t football anymore, it was a game that Adrian was even worse at. The game you had to play to get a girl to like you. It was a game he was already being locked out of before Middle School had even started.