I step out of the shower and pat my hair dry. I didn't have quite enough time to catch up with Declan and the new girl, so I stopped at my dorm for a quick shower before the catalyst. I pull out my uniform- flexible slacks and a simple black tunic with sleeves cut mid-forearm. They are designed to show off our halos, but I'm one of the few people living here with bare wrists.

After changing, I head back out to the main building. I want to be early- if I get on Claudius' good side, he may run the catalyst for a shorter period of time. I hope, anyway. The sun has nearly set, but there's still plenty of light on my path to the main building.

Unlike earlier, the large atrium is nearly abandoned now. I slide through a door to my left and down the stairs to the basement. Doors pass- B11, B12… and I'm here. I take a deep breath and brace myself for hell as I open the door.

The room is a medical-looking space, with assorted medicinal instruments and a bed. I'm far too familiar with this room. Claudius is already waiting within. He's always so early, I complain inwardly. A silent assistant stands waiting as well.

He nods solemnly. "Are you ready to begin?"

I turn my gaze towards the bed. I know I'll never really be ready for what's coming, so I simply nod and lay on the bed. Claudius nods to the assistant, who uses thick leather straps attached to the bed to bind my arms and legs tightly. He then straps a heavy vest around my torso. It seems like a mundane addition, but I know that electronic nodes poke through on the inside, connecting with my body.

All I can do is wait and stare at the ceiling while Claudius adjusts the settings on a control panel nearby.

"I think tonight, I'll try some inconsistent and varying waves. We need to activate your mind's fight or flight." He explains.

I exhale and try to get comfortable. "Okay, I think I'm rea-"

Before I can finish the sentence, sharp electricity pulses through my body. My muscles tense up involuntarily. It hurts. The wave doesn't stop and I know I can't bear it any longer. I feel a scream bubbling up in my chest, but the flow dies down just in time. I barely have time to catch my breath before another stronger wave starts. Every muscle in me clenches painfully against my will and I feel like my skin is on fire.

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I can't hold it in any longer and I start screaming. I want it to stop. I just want it to be over.

"Claudius- it hurts… please claudius PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" I cry. His eyes show no mercy or compassion as he continues to treat me.

As the waves come and go, I lose the energy to beg. My mind can't handle it anymore and I feel the numbness set in. Not physically- I can still feel every electrocution. But mentally, I'm far away. Trying to distance from my body as it agonizes.

Eventually it ends. I'm not sure how long its been, and I don't even remember being unstrapped. I find myself walking back through my bedroom door without even thinking about it. I look down at my wrists- still nothing.

All I can do is numbly sit on the edge of my bed and stare at the floor. My body feels like its been hit by a train- but on the inside, I just feel empty.

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here, frozen, when I hear the knock on my door. It opens and Declan pokes his head in.

"Hey, you didn't show up for 8pm check in, so I thought I'd come ov-"

I guess my numbness is obvious on my face, because he looks concerned.

"Another bad one?" Declan asks, plopping down next to me on my bed.

I nod, shakily. "I'm not supposed to talk about it, you know."

"I know. You need anything? You look like you're gonna be sick."

I think for a moment. Do I? I feel disconnected from myself. "I think I just need a good night's sleep. That won't be easy though."

He smiles warmly. "I think I can help. You want me to sing my song? Like I used to?"

I can't help but grin as the memories come back to me. Declan loves to sing one song- he used to do it all the time for me when we were kids to make me fall asleep. "Wow- I think its been years since I've heard it."

"Well, get in bed and I'll knock you out. Just like old times."

I head into the bathroom and change into my pajamas. After I lay down, Declan switches off the lights and sits down in the armchair by my bed. I close my eyes and get comfy.

He starts singing softly. I love his voice- its not perfect, but the warmth and gentleness in it brings me peace.

"I see trees of green… red roses too. I see them bloom… for me and you. And I think to myself- what a wonderful world."

Its his favorite song. It helps me forget. Forget what? I think. And then I remember. Oh. Pain. I shudder involuntarily as the memories wash over me again. He notices and starts stroking my hair while singing. The touch calms me back down, and I relax enough to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.