I woke up breathing heavily, my clothes stuck to my skin with sweat and head pounding. Felt like I just had a bad dream but I couldn't remember a single bit of it. Is it really that bad that my brain choose to forget it. Well I don't care, I hopped off the bed and went straight to the bathroom to clean my face and brush my teeth. Another day stuck indoors what a daunting experience, I have always loved staying indoors. If it had been with anybody but him it'll would've been better. I left the room with my face still wet with water, I don't care about appearance because I'm staying indoors and got no one to impress. The house is still silent as ever. The TV was on, that's something new because it was never on ever since….
The person sitting on the couch, I don't want to see his face or hear his voice today. Okay let's tiptoe to the kitchen, I tiptoed to the living room and went to the hallway that led to the kitchen. Down the hallway there's a door that leads outside… when was the last time I went there?, two months? Or maybe more. The memories are all foggy, even though it's only two months since we were sent indoors. I don't even remember what the knob of the door feels like. Something like a pull drew me closer to the door. I wanted to touch it and maybe open it. Moving closer to the direction of the door, my feet basked in dust. I haven't cleaned the floor that leads here in a while. What does the outside breeze feels like? I don't even know anymore. It felt like I had never went outside…..
I came close to the door, it felt like the knob had a gravitational pull to my hands, with just a few inches from the knob.
“Elana, what are you doing?” That voice, how long has it been since I heard it. I have always dreamt of hearing it calling my name, maybe I'm hallucinating. I don't want to turn around, standing here forever will be okay if I can just hear that voice again.
“Why are you just standing there? Are you planning to go outside? That's against the rule you know right?” The voice kept talking to me, what if the voice wasn't real ? I don't want to spoil this.
“Elana, stop acting weird and come over here, breakfast's ready.” I turned around with my cheeks wet with tears.
“Okay mom.” She's real, what's going on? I don't care. Mom is right here, that's all that matters. I walked to Mom and hugged her. The reaction to her body was that of surprise.
“What’s gotten into you today.” She said returning the hug. Her scent, gentle touch and the way she talks. I missed everything.
We went to the dining room, and she was sitting there…
Sara my sister is sitting next to my sit. Her lips widened by a smile. I sat down next to her.
“What were you doing trying to go outside? Have you forgotten the warning they gave to us?.” Sara said in a mild tone.
“I don't know… my head is all foggy.” My head was pounding, but I didn't care about it.
“Well some food might help with that.” Mom said, while placing her hands on my shoulders caressing them.
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“Okay” I dug in the food, it tasted like a distant memory. I couldn't get around the taste. But it was something nostalgic. Then it occurred to me.. where is he? That man, his seat is empty. Staring at the empty seat it felt so huge and intimidating.
“umm mom, where is dad?” The sound left my mouth like a whisper.
Mom and Sara turned to my direction. “Who?” Sara replied.
“Dad… like our father, where is he?” I replied, the expression both of them were wearing was puzzling like they don't understand what I was saying.
“Elana, your father died before you were born. Well it's weird for you to remember him randomly.” She replied followed by a chuckle.
“You have been acting strange lately, what's up?” Sara replied with her face close to mine like she's interrogating me.
“I told you my head is all foggy.” I said while caressing my temples.
“Since you have eaten your food, why don't you go get some rest.” Mom replied with a smile on face, She's really enjoying herself.
“Oh..” I looked down at my plate and it was all empty. But I don't remember eating the food.
“Alright all done.” Sara said while standing up, still kind of bafflingly how she's the younger one between us because she has the height and build of an older sister.
“Elana come let me take you to your room.” She said, beaconing me over. Add behaving like the older sibling to the list. I placed my hand on hers, it made me feel like a child. But my whole body felt calm.
We went upstairs to my room. Sara placed me on the bed and wrapped me up with the sheets.
“Alright, I'm going to stay here till you fall asleep.” What is she saying? Treating me like a child…
“ I'm not a baby.” I said while pouting for no reason in particular.
“ You're to me.” She replied so freely with no care.
“I’m the older one here Sara.”
“And what?”
”Umm..”
“See no reply.”
“It’s just an headache, I don't need you to pamper me”
“It’s a duty of the younger siblings to take care of the older ones when they are ill.”
“.....”
“So stop acting all grumpy and get some rest.”
“...And yes I'll stay here till you fall asleep.”
“Whatever.”
“Still acting grumpy are we? Do you want some cuddles haha”
“Why would I need that?”
“It’s written all over you face.”
“Urgggh”
“You are really tiny Elana.”
“You have yourself to blame for being that big and muscular.”
“Hey…. Well you have yourself to blame for being that short.”
“Hey my height is normal for my age.”
“You’re body is all hot, you should get some sleep.
“yeah…”
The door opened but I couldn't see it because I was facing the other side of the room.
“Seems you guys are having fun because I could hear your voices from downstairs.”
“It’s just Sara acting all clingy all of a sudden.’
“Hey!”
“You need to rest Elana.” Mom said in an airing tone.
“Yeah thank you guys for being here, I probably won't be able to get some sleep.”
“I know it must have been tiring “ Mom said in a toneless voice.
“It’s painful and dark being alone, it was the same for us too.” Sara grip around me tightened. I want to turn back and look at mom but I couldn't because Sara won't allow me.
“Sara—”
“You have to keep going, Elana, follow the light and you will find us.” Mom said in a sympathetic tone.
“Find us Elana, we might not be able to ease each other's pains but we will bask in each other's pains.” Mom continued, this was weird. What does she mean by that?"
ELANA
ELANA
FIND US
.
.
.
.
My body felt cold, my eyes half frozen. The smell of alcohol on the ground and my skin against broken bottles. The sky was still dark . Was that a dream? It can't be…. I stood up and scanned my surroundings. It was the same. Were the angel and demon fiasco real? But mom and Sara …. She told me to look for them. What does she mean by that? I felt a tingle in my hand, it was a feather that looked brittle, and won't come off my hand. It's like the feather was part of my skin.. something so distinctive but familiar. I don't remember how it got there, who gave it to me.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why is this happening to me? I just saw Mom and Sara. Where did they go?. The night was still silent and my every movement was so loud. First I need to go home before I attract any more anomalies. I picked up the bottles that were not broken and started running..
The wind was cold, my tears frozen on my cheeks. My heart is beating fast. I don't care how loud I sound.
I just wanted to goh ome and at the back of my mind I was wondering why fate decided to add me in its game of dice.