Dawn took its time climbing up over the horizon, illuminating me staring out across the wetlands in a pensive mood.

For the extra perspective, I scaled the side of the original stump home and gazed out across the carpet of fluttering grass, interspersed with glittering azure ribbons of water. A few brushed clouds clung to the horizon, painted a soft purple by the shifting illumination. This was my current world; I had no fictional, comfort reads to slip into to distract myself.

I was here, in every sense of the word.

I took a breath (although oxygen was entirely superfluous to jelly). I felt the air passing through my flesh.

This was the world I had to think about, had to shape, to make my life better. To be a man (monster) who didn’t die with regrets. To protect the people (again, monsters) who were important to me while they still lived. Today would be the first of the new order, where we all followed the directives of the Kami and expanded its influence.

I still didn’t quite know how I felt about the expansion. But I couldn’t remain still, or I would be left behind.

I remembered the dead, sinister eyes that Mookt had given me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, fixating on the spidersilk purse and the coins within. It was a creature that had learned the sin of greed after only a single taste. Then my eyes twitched as I thought about how I had tripped and saved myself from being stabbed by Violala’s casual assassination attempt.

Haaah, why does murder taint every social interaction in this world.

Maybe… I am a little out of my depth. Being a human… involved more than enough trouble.

An itch had been growing in my chest over the course of yesterday. My first moral flinch. I had been chosen by the Kami for reasons I didn’t quite understand. That selection, which at least included benefits, also hitched me to a whole slew of new responsibilities. Including a leadership role in a mission of conquest.

Fighting to survive and defend my home is one thing… but am I really fine with this?

Plus, both the Kami and my new ‘allies’ (this felt like an almost foolishly optimistic word for the relationship) remained suspicious due to our associations with Raccain the necromancer (probably?) that created us. An added twist of tension, sprinkled across my current reality.

The sun rose higher, turning the clouds pink. The heady rush of crashing into this new world began to pass, leaving me with the prickling mundanities.

I raised my tiny squirrel paws and rubbed my flubber-y cheeks. “I’m really just a guy. The slowest reincarnator to push past the First Growth Threshold. To survive in this world… to protect my siblings… Can I really become a monster? Or… do I need to?”

The strangest thing happened as I said the words out loud. I felt several hidden knots of tension dissipate. I spoke honestly. And, perhaps even more surprising, the System seemed to recognize it.

Your Skill (Earned) Monster’s Wisdom has grown to Level 25 (+10).

A Mundane Achievement: For increasing Skill Proficiency to 25 (+10) before the Second Growth Threshold, +5 Health and +5 Mana.

System, at my most vulnerable moment… what is with this sudden emotional support?! Tsk, tsk, do you need to borrow money now that I’m dabbling in banking? After the moment of vulnerability, my snarky deflection mechanisms snapped back into place. I didn’t fight against these thoughts; after all, they did help me manage the constant undercurrent of bewilderment I felt as a reincarnated monster.

The slow-moving rivers laid out in front of me glittered. A few tendrils of wind whispered through the nearby reeds. The small physical details anchored me to the present.

I released a breath. Then I had another thought. Actually, while I still gain Skill Levels, am I actually getting better at the Skill with the (+’s)?

Your Skill (Earned) Detection has grown to Level 18.

A flurry of movement sharpened my focus. But I relaxed as it was just Sage, bounding over the swaying grass. From her back glittered several long copper feathers: a new tail, likely from some sort of hawk. Behind her, Sage’s two canary minions flapped their wings as they struggled to keep up with their mistress’s capricious movements.

I had to admire Sage’s dedication to the bit. Oh, chasing tail probably isn’t a euphemism in her homeworld. Perhaps that’s the real reason I feel so beyond my depth, here. No one understands how hilarious I am.

When she spotted me perched atop the stump, she altered her direction and shot toward me. The two subordinates flew in a circle and then headed South toward Sage’s base. My adopted siblings’ obvious joy as she approached warmed my heart. Even if I didn’t possess the same dangerous, fantasy life experiences as these two, they had accepted me. We were bonded.

Sage landed lightly next to me, on top of the stump. She very obviously flashed her new tail, so it caught the sun. “Good morning, Brother Tallum.”

“Good morning to you, Sage. Did you acquire a new limb? You resemble a burning comet rushing across the night sky,” I complimented my sister dutifully.

Sage blushed. “How easy you use words to dispense rapture, Tallum! Ufufu, well, while I do somewhat resemble a comet, just a minor one. A continent would be barely ruptured if I pierced through a planet’s atmosphere and fractured the ground.”

Ah, Sage.

“Hah!” Sage pivoted around and beamed out across the vista. “You have such fine taste, Tallum. This is my favorite time of day to be out and about. See how the water glitters? It reminds me how the decorative volcanoes in my courtyard would bubble right before they erupted.”

…yes, yes, Sage, very relatable.

-wait, courtyard volcanoes? Haaah…

We sat in silence for a time, simply watching the water. The more we looked, the more my gaze became unfocused. The rustling of the reeds seemed like the land breathing. Water flowed constantly forward. Even the clouds above were in constant motion as their colors morphed to herald the day.

The whole of the land around us felt alive. It was a harsh world, truly, but a lovely one.

Even if there is no difference between man and monster… between us and the land, with the Kami’s ruling it… our concerns are likely what set us apart. I mused. And my concerns…

“Do you…” Sage eventually broke the silence. “Do you… ever miss your home world, Tallum?”

This, at least, was actually quite relatable.

“I…” Yet as I began to answer, I felt my heart twist.

With the stump home, the fly swamp, the surrounding strawberry patches, and now the temple (not dwelling on all the help I received in its construction, and sizing it up) I felt pride in what I had built with my second life. In a way I hadn’t realized possible from all my time as a human, I shaped the world around me and created a home. I could find the same satisfaction I got from a well-written arc, right here in the present.

Yet that only made me feel more guilt. Toward my past-life friends, who I had ignored. Toward the squalid state of my apartment, right at the end.

To Mimi, because I distracted myself to the point I hadn’t even thought much about her in weeks.

Instinctively, I tensed, half-expecting the System to reward me with a Level of Monster’s Wisdom. But perhaps it sensed the sudden downward spike in my mood, because it left me unmocked.

The muscles of my interstitial flesh gradually relaxed. “...I do miss my world. The comforts of home, the familiar technologies. But if I’m being honest…” I tried to figure out a way to explain. Multiple possibilities presented themselves, but I knew that there was only one method to move forward and I had already mentioned it: being honest.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I spoke slowly; even now, each new honesty felt like prying apart a few of the rusted remnants of that machine and revealing its vulnerable innards. I trembled, wondering if showing so much of myself would hurt. “I didn’t live that life as well as I could have. I didn’t realize what really mattered, not until it was too late. More than my previous world… I miss the people.”

The machine had the extraneous levers and mechanical engagements pulled away. What remained was the humming engine, the ember of dissatisfaction that drove me.

What made me feel worse for the amount of time since I thought about Mimi is that I could see her wide smile. She would be happy with the way I was living, the relationships I have made, the little monster sanctuary I was trying to build. She would have slapped me on the back and told me I was thinking too much; she would have said I should just keep moving forward and eventually it would all fall into place.

And for that reason, I straightened; I would keep working on a life without regrets.

But also, I would make a grave for her today. Because I would not have had the resolve to have survived and thrived in this new, monstrous life without her.

When I came out of my little reverie, Sage stared at me. Her nod was solemn. “The people of our past lives... Tallum, we have much in common. I, too, became too wrapped up in the adoration of my subjects.”

No, that’s not exactly-

She continued, not noticing the gap in life-experience between us. “I had been appointed to the role of monitoring the interior state of the Skyfire empire. You know, keeping the merchant associations satisfied, maintaining the fires of purity, identifying dissidents, preventing the spread of insidious alien cults-”

Uh, what?

“-that sort of thing. Obviously, what better manner could this be accomplished than by providing entertainment of the highest order? Lavish feasts, brilliant displays of power and passion, plays and operas depicting the great heroes of our empire. My superior taste allowed the proliferation of art of the highest order.”

Bread and circuses… I twitched somewhere between sympathy and exasperation. Note to self; the creation of a leisurely home is the goal, but never let the leisure be a distraction from those moments where you need to build.

“I had such a gift for it. The pomp and ceremony. The spectacle. But in the end… I think I grew so wrapped up in fabricating the dream, that I couldn’t see beyond the glamour. So when the revolution came… when we were betrayed…” Sage’s tails lashed back and forth. I could feel waves of fury rolling off her side.

I cleared my throat; already, I knew better than to let Sage’s negative moods develop. “I don’t know if you could tell… but I came into this life with a lot of regrets. I think… well, probably all three of us did. Maybe that’s why we were given a chance at another life. Not to right the wrongs we experienced, to change the past… but to not make the same mistakes, this time around.”

Sage’s harsh emotions gradually softened. One of her tails slithered forward and wrapped around my leg. “I suspect you will not allow us to make those same mistakes, Brother Tallum. Your claws might not be the sharpest nor your feathers the most dazzling, but your eyes see the furthest. You adapted so quickly to this world.”

I couldn’t help but release a bark of a laugh.

Your Skill (Language) Bestial Comprehension has grown to Level 5.

“I…” The notification made my thoughts hitch, but I pushed past it to continue the discussion. “If it looks like that, it’s only because the situation was so wild for our first days. It’s only been… well, almost two weeks since we arrived? And also- I’ve been worried about you two. That superseded anything. If tragedy struck- if you or Nightshade-”

Even to my senses, my words had grown heavy and desperate. I could barely stop them from tumbling out of my mouth as the guilt I felt about Mimi mixed with some of the anxiety I had buried, during our various fights.

Besides, those emotions served as roads to the specter that lurked beyond them: my loneliness.

Sage put a tail to my lips. “Easy, brother. You do not need to use words; with every action in this world, you have announced your sincerity. And… despite the distaste I feel for Nightshade, it is true that his death would be an irksome development deserving of vengeance. You are making admirable moves, bringing civility to these wetlands. Yet if necessary…”

She looked at me and I felt her meaning almost physically, vibrating in the core of my jelly.

“...I would abandon this small foothold in a heartbeat. The three of us could always leave.” I nodded in agreement. Again, implications of the Kami’s mission flash in my mind. “I’ve had the same thoughts.”

“Tallum, we don’t have hearts,” Sage observed. “We would need to leave in the long pause of one of Nightshade’s moody stares.”

For a second I felt exasperated but then felt a tremor of amusement. From her jelly to mine, communication suddenly seemed possible, without words. Had that been the result of gaining a Level in Bestial Comprehension?

A little bit more of my anxiety cracked and dissipated; over the past few days, because of the mission from the Kami, I had worked tirelessly on my own. I had struggled to accomplish the goal in time. In the end, it was only because I had reached out for the spiderlings that I had been able to complete the temple.

Suddenly, I felt like a fool. Sage hummed next to me, admiring her own flashy hawk tail in the morning light. They might have their own concerns, but had I just asked them for help, they would have jumped to my side and dug in the mud.

I lowered my chin. They are my siblings. I don’t need to face these challenges alone. I need to become better at asking for help when I need it.

Loyalty and love feel exactly the same, whether they be between human or monster.

The world stretched around us, wide open and filled with life. If this current situation didn’t suit us, we would abandon it decisively. Although confusion about the meaning of ‘humanity’ didn’t dissipate, they sat on the strong bedrock of my relationship with Nightshade and Sage.

And compared to that comfortable security, my moral concerns appeared very manageable.

Besides, I already knew how to avoid the trap of the last life. I simply couldn’t avert my eyes from my nonexistent heart. What I felt, I needed to address.

What is leisure but having the presence of mind to live in the moment?

For several minutes more, we returned to our calm observation of dawn. Very clearly, Sage soon became bored and began fiddling with my tail. Her mood very obviously darkened; I could tell she didn’t like that my snake tail was of a higher quality than hers. It was honestly exasperating how quickly her glittering copper hawk tail became unable to satisfy her.

A genuine advantage from humanity; as a former younger sibling, I am very experienced reading an older sister’s whims.

I excused myself before her mood could develop further and trooped back across the reed fields to the beach. Some leftover bricks remained from the spiderlings overly efficient excavation. As I plucked those up to carry them toward the temple, I noticed that some of the ‘quarries’ the spiderlings had created had become tide pools, filled with frolicking crayfish.

They had even created mudslides, so the holes looked like little waterparks. Crayfish tumbled down the slopes and splashed mud on their fellows, who coquettishly waved their claws in response.

Very purposefully, I thought nothing about these scuttling idiots. I turned away, focusing on Mimi.

Look at how mature I’m becoming. Perhaps it's true, the mantle makes the man? Now that I’m the representative of the Kami, these small matters-

Your Skill (Earned) Detection has grown to Level 19.

Before I even heard the words, my left arm, which ended in a snake fang, swept upward to intercept a blow.

“Chosen Tallum.”

Your Skill (Earned) Body Manipulation has grown to Level 25 (+3).

My fang arm moved harmlessly through the air as Violala the Venom Mantis High Leader stepped out of the reeds. With those faceted eyes, she studied my movements. Even though she possessed a praying mantis face, I could see her expression brightening. “Oh, did you wish for some early morning sparring before our incursion? I can lay in ambush-”

“Err, no, I just-” I paused, considering how honest I should be; telling her that I didn’t trust her at all seemed to be unproductive, considering we would be working together to invade the forest today. Instead, I waved the fang vaguely. “...this is a common greeting, amongst my people.”

Ah, Tallum, didn’t we resolve to be less awkward in social situations in the next life…?

I guess one issue at a time…

“Indeed?” Violala cocked her head to the side, then flashed her foreleg up at a brutal speed. Yet the movement was oddly pretty; with how quickly she moved, the glossy foreleg produced a recent of glittering light. “How interesting.”

She stood and repeated the movement. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I realized, had she actually been attempting to attack me this morning, I would not have been able to stop her. And because I acknowledged my own faults-

Your Skill Monster’s Wisdom has grown to Level 25 (+11).

Yea, yea, I get it.

“High Leader Violala,” I eventually said. “So why did you seek me out…?”

“Ah, yes. Are you prepared for the expedition? I did not wish to cause any delays by a late arrival.”

I glanced at the heavy load of bricks in my hand. “...actually, I will require a bit more time for a small side task. After that-”

“I will join you,” The venom mantis said. She extended her slender forelegs. “Would you allow me to assist in your burden?”

I gave Violala a long look. “This task is a personal one. I don’t know if-”

“Chosen Tallum, may I be blunt?” The Venom Mantis High Leader did not wait for my answer. “We shall soon dance together on the killing fields. I do not think whether or not this task is personal is a relevant concern. And also… I will admit that I have a selfish reason for offering; although I did not accept your offer last night, the Matriarch is much improved after obtaining some of those blessed oils. I will want to make a deal with you in the future. This is simply to earn your goodwill.”

First of all, last night’s offer was not mine, but yours, I thought. But it was a tired and sour point with no audience. But also… I suppose this will go more quickly with some help.

“Alright.” I agreed. I used my tail and a few tentacles to lift the top brick off of my triple stack and lowered it gently onto Violala’s waiting forelegs.

And honestly?

It cheered me up more than I expected to watch the vicious venom mantis stagger after me, barely able to support the heavy mud brick.

Luckily I didn’t have a real human face, otherwise I would have spent the entire time smirking. Note to self; monsters have strengths and weaknesses too.

Ufufu. Asking for help should be added as a key tenant of leisure.