I dug my first grave today. It was challenging, but not outside of my abilities. The ground in this region is quite hard. It was a... cleansing, good therapy. The recent past has convinced me to start journaling again, just like my seminary days. I used to hate it, I could never do it consistently, but maybe now it's different..

There are more and more graves now. I should've kept a log, but I didn't. I'll start now. I’d like to keep more detailed information on each buried, but I haven't been given anything of the sort. Just burlap sacks. 5 graves, counting today’s dig.

It's awfully lonely, out here, nothing to do but dig, yet I still can’t manage to keep up my journal everyday. I couldn't remember a word the other day, vermillisomething, meaning to have a quality of realness, or something like that. It's been bothering me a lot, forgetting words like that. At least I have my digging.

12 graves. Nothing much. It's gotten colder. A lot colder. Based on the calendar it's a while still until winter, but the seasons are hardly dictated by man’s will. I hope my stock of firewood is enough.

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I’ve been wondering, where’s all this wood coming from? This place is barren, only small, twiggy trees and a handful of small mammals, excluding myself. So how are there 28 graves each with their own headstones? Headwoods? I’m tired right now, but when I wake I’ll check my journal entries.

First 1, now 28? Who dug all these graves? When!? I swear, there’s always been 28, or maybe 32, I’m not sure. Did I dig them? My journal certainly seems to indicate so, but I don't remember? Who is buried inside of all these graves? I need to count them, right now. I’ll finish this entry when I do

just came back from a dig. it’s strange, why does it hurt so much? my whole body aches, but you’d think i’dve be used to digging after all these years. guess ill check my journal

Seminary school? Thats not, I wouldn’tve, but... My mother, is here? I know but,? I swear I feel like I’m... I should dig her up. Thats what she would’ve wanted, instead of me humming and hawing bout it. I’ll find out for sure, I know she’s in there. I’ll do that tomorrow, after I finish digging this next grave.

This last grave is really hard. Like, I dunno, its just not, working? I’ve been thinking. All these graves are unmarked, I can’t remember why but I’m sure there’s a reason but... Where’s my mother? What possible reason could I have for burying my mother in an unmarked grave, amongst so many others? That can’t make sense, I’m not that kind of child I know I’M NOT THAT KIND OF CHILD I LOVE MY MOMMY WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER WHICH GRAVE!?!? I need to finishing digging the last grave I should finish but I can’t and it doesn’t make sense either I

My last entry, I finished digging the last grave. What was I burying again? I’ll remember when I get there I should be there now... But I, just, I want to know where my mommy is?