Praetorian Darkcede's first day at Bright Battle Academy hadn't quite matched his expectations. Not that his expectations were overly high, but 'universal rejection', 'violent mugging' and 'being murdered' certainly weren't on his list of First Day Must-Dos.

Still, things were looking up now. He smiled at the pretty elf girl who had healed him, and she smiled back.

"It's just lucky they have safehold shards here," she said. "We had them back in Everleaf too but I never had to use them, hardly anyone did, they were mostly for accidents and stuff I guess. You didn't get rewarded for attacking people, that's for sure!"

"I'd never heard of them before today," Praetorian said. "In fact, I suspect that where I come from they would be seen as somewhat perverted."

"That's such a shame," said the elf girl. "But you were saying about how that's why you're here? Um, ugh, sorry, that was a really clumsy way to say that—you're going to do, um, 'research' about new things?"

"Well," Praetorian said, with a chuckle, "that's not my principle reason for coming here. No, I have certain ambitions that are more, let us say, private and personal, although I would certainly feel comfortable sharing them with one such as you. Still, I suppose—ah? Yes, can we help you?"

Standing in the doorway to Praetorian's room were two short ugly things and one tall ugly thing—particularly ugly, considering her representation of everything Praetorian was trying to get away from.

Nala glanced up at Amanda, then looked at the human sitting on the bed. He had on a long dark robe, angular around the neck, and beneath that a suit of sorts, old-fashioned but with a certain elegance to it. He also wore a long, thin leather tie, but the less said about that the better. His face was sharp, especially his eyebrows, a neatly trimmed goatee and thin black mustache adding greatly to the impression of general pointiness. Beside him, smiling cheerfully, was an elf girl with bouncy blonde hair and a face that radiated innocence, her blue eyes wide beneath large eyebrows. Her clothing was simple and flowing, white robes with green trimming, and she wore a gold band around her forehead. In her lap was a staff, pure white with a softly glowing orb suspended within a hook at the top.

"Are you a necromancer?" Nala asked the human.

"You ask, I presume, because of your zombie there." He let out a weary sigh, raising his hands and shaking his head in a theatrical expression of resignation. "Yes, I am a necromancer, for my sins. I hail from Lily Valley in Auldvyne, 'the old country', and I have absolutely no interest in any reminder of that dismal place."

"My name's Gloria!" said the elf girl, apropos of not a lot. "Gloria Lightfear, I'm from a little village in The Forest, you probably never heard of it, it's called Lamara anyway, or I guess you'd call it Nightrose in common, there's a flower that grows there, anyway, I'm a cleric, I know most elves take a special class but I'm not really much of a fighter so pureleaf didn't work for me and I didn't want to be a sweetleaf, it just all seemed too fiddly and besides I like these robes, do you like them? I don't think I suit the 'leafy' look very well but white might be my colour. My brother always says I look like a marshmallow but that's just him I think, his name's Sly, have you met him? He's really nice but a bit gloomy lately, especially today, he was having trouble finding a party to join up with—do you guys need an archer? He's a sniper, he's really good except for his stupid bow, it's cursed, it's a whole big cursed bow story, he had this exact same problem back at Everleaf, not being able to find a group I mean, that's kind of why we both ended up coming here, well I was thinking about it anyway but he wants to get enough merits to pay for the decursing, they can do that here, they can do ANYTHING here if you've got the merits to pay for it. Oh, this is Praetorian, he didn't say his name so I guess I will, Praetorian Darkcede, Auldvynians have such charming and unusual and interesting names, don't you think? Not like boring old 'Gloria', half the girls in my village were called that. Well not HALF but a lot. Well three, but it's a small village so it seemed like more. Um, I haven't seen any dwarves here—you're a dwarf, right? I haven't met any before, but I thought—oh, and, um ... a goblin? Wow. I, um ... I kind of thought you guys were just monsters. Oh! Are you a monster? Are you a beasttamer? Are these your monsters that you brought with you?"

Nala blinked at Gloria.

"I am not a beasttamer," she said. "These are not my monsters—these are not monsters."

"Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry, I just thought—well, um, please accept my apology, I really didn't mean to, I mean, I just, sometimes I say things? And even though I don't mean to they come out weird. So. Um. Hi?"

"Hello?"

"Ahem," Praetorian said, this directed at Nala. "As much fun as it is to meet new people, this charming young lady and I were engaged in a private conversation. If you three would care to leave, I'm sure that would work best for all concerned. Now," he said, turning to Gloria, Nala and the others apparently forgotten in an instant, "I am in all ways utterly taken by the insights you've already shared, and I'm sure a further exchange of views would only benefit us both—perhaps we should arrange a meeting point in case we're separated—"

"Do you realise he's hitting on you?" Amanda asked Gloria.

"I, um, what? No! You're not, are you? No, we were just talking ... weren't we?"

All eyes went to Praetorian, who smiled at Amanda, his fingers steepled beneath his goatee.

"Indeed," he said, his pointed gaze still upon Amanda. "Just talking."

"Okay," Gloria said. "Phew. Anyway, so, I should get to—oh my gosh, I totally forgot, I'm supposed to meet with my party! Jane's bound to have gotten more people by now but I was going to, I mean I promised, I just got caught up—"

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Gloria stopped and took a self-consciously deep breath, then continued talking faster than ever:

"Because I joined up with Jane Hearthguard's group, I mean we were in the admissions line together and we got talking well mostly it was me talking I guess but anyway it turned out she wanted a healer for her party and I'm a healer and she was serious but nice and well she's a paladin so I thought that's got to be good, we're both lawful after all and that's really important to me, back at Everleaf I got put in with a bunch of chaotics and that did NOT end well so um so yes so anyway, then I came here to check out the infirmary because I heard you can volunteer to get merits and somehow I got roped into helping out even before I signed up, someone just said 'go heal that guy in that room!' and I was all like 'okay!' because well I AM a healer. So um, now I'd better get back to my party. Praetorian, I don't know where I'm going to be staying, maybe in Fauxgreen somewhere unless we get a good party ranking, I guess Jane might have some plans ... well anyway, if you see me say hi—you guys too, don't be shy, okay? Okay bye!"

Nala and the others stood aside for Gloria, and she waved at them as she ran off. They waved back. It just seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

Then they turned to look at Praetorian.

He wasn't waving.

The expression on his face suggested that he might never wave again.

"Well," he said, acidly. "Thank you so very much for that timely interruption, the very first elf maiden I meet who isn't instantly psychotic and what shows up to scuttle my chances? Nothing less than a zombie. Fate is having a splendid laugh at my expense today, that's certainly clear. Who are you people? Why do you have a goblin with you? Why is a dwarf even here, I thought your kind shunned the academy? Why is this place so cursedly DIFFICULT?"

Nala gazed levelly at Praetorian. "Would you like to join our party?"

"What? Pardon? Excuse me?"

"Would you like to join our party?"

"And what would entirely possess me to do that?"

"Have you already been recruited?"

"Of course I haven't, nobody wants a necromancer in this place."

"Why not?"

"Because nobody dies here! For a class based primarily around death that's a fairly significant negative point! Of course nobody told me this before I came here, nobody thought to mention this seemingly trivial yet vitally important little factoid." Praetorian took a deep breath, then let it out in a sigh. "One of the disadvantages of living in the old country," he said, his voice more level, his expression more calm. "Even the information is outdated. The mystery surrounding this place didn't exactly help."

"It would make sense for you to join us," Nala said. "You are a necromancer and we have a zombie—"

"I came here to escape zombies. My particular slice of Auldvyne is utterly lousy with the wretched things. Zombies and slimes, that's all we are famous for—"

"You have no stave," came Tzugakk's quiet voice. Praetorian stared at him, then smirked humourlessly.

"Indeed," he said. "Very observant. Another lovely surprise that the illustrious Bright Battle Academy sprang upon me, another important omission; the bullying here verges on the sadistic."

"It was taken from you?" Tzugakk asked.

"How?" Amanda added.

"I'd much rather not discuss it, if it's all the same to you. Suffice to say a combination of brute force, intimidation and treachery came together in an amalgamation that led to the loss of that particular heirloom and my 'death'. The first of many, I gloomily predict." Praetorian sighed and shook his head. "I did not come here to fight. My intentions were purely peaceful; all I want is to find an elf maiden and explore the delights of interspecies courtship. It seems fate had something to say about that. Indeed, perhaps it WAS fate that parted me from my stave—'be careful what you wish for', yes? I wished to be entirely free of my homeland. With the loss of my staff that wish, it seems, was granted." Praetorian fixed a cool gaze upon Amanda. "And then you showed up."

There was a short silence, broken by Nala:

"Will you join us?"

Praetorian laughed. "Persistent, aren't you? But my answer must remain unchanged, I have no wish to spend any time in the company of the undead, that is certainly not my reason for coming here."

"She needs you," Tzugakk said, quietly. "She needs your presence to ... to keep herself—"

"Are you explaining the prescripts of undeath to me?" Praetorian asked. "To me, an Auldvynian necromancer of the Lily Valley? Hear this, goblin; if nothing else, I know zombies."

"Then you know that you are her freedom."

Praetorian stared at Tzugakk. Tzugakk gazed back.

After a time, Praetorian laughed, a sound devoid of joy.

"Ah, fate," he said, spreading his arms wide and raising his face to the dull grey-blue ceiling, "I am but your plaything. So this is to be my destiny? Eternal steward of the lesser undead?"

Amanda started as Praetorian fixed his gaze upon her, the intensity of his eyes disturbing.

"D-don't look at me like that."

"Raise your right arm," Praetorian said. Amanda found herself doing so.

"W-what—"

"And now your left leg."

Amanda did as Praetorian commanded and promptly fell over.

"Yes, typical," Praetorian said, as Tzugakk hurried to help Amanda up. "What would you be, a walker?"

"Glumgirl, apparently," Amanda muttered.

"Oh, marvellous. Glumgirl. At least your binding appears strong. Whoever raised you seems to have done an adequate job." Praetorian let out a long sigh. "Very well, I submit to fate; I shall join your diverse little party. After all, as your goblin friend there stated so dramatically, I am your freedom. Who is your leader?"

Nala held out her hand, and Praetorian pressed the back of his against it. There was a jangly little tune and the glow of twin BrightCircles, and Praetorian smiled thinly around at his new party.

"Well then," he said. "You have a staveless necromancer as your new comrade. Whatever your expectations I'm sure I'll disappoint. Were you heading to Destiny Square? I shiver with the thought of what desperate stragglers might still be there."

"Do you always talk such rubbish in such a rubbishy way?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, I can see such value in helping you retain your personality, it's such a pleasant and charming one, isn't it? Already regret comes to claim me, a dark shadow passing over my sun."

"What is Destiny Square?" Nala asked.

"Oh, you don't know? It's where ranking takes place. That's where all the stragglers gather, those who have yet to find a party. I was headed there before those charming bullies put it upon themselves to rob and murder me. Rather a distraction, you must concur."

Nala had already turned away, was speaking to the others as they left the room together:

"We may be able to find more people to recruit there. The more in our party, the safer we will all be."

"I'll just follow along behind then, shall I?" Praetorian called after them. He sighed and went to pick up his stave before wincing at his mistake. "Yes," he muttered, as he hurried after the others. "Just follow along behind, that's what I'll do."