Brian Monroe struggles in this new world. He ask himself daily, "how did it ever come to this?" Years of study, only matched by the many failed attempts to get people around him to start calling him "Big B."

Brian laments daily this world he is living in. This world of quick comments and short post on YouTube and Facebook. A world of disgusting pictures to represent word, he is still struggling to figure out what an eggplant is supposed to mean. This chaotic age of people that refuse to insert commas on their casual post. Just thinking about it makes his stomach churn.

It's wasn't always like this, Brian remembers a time before. A time in another century. In the 20th century Brian was special, all of his teachers told him so. In the 20th century, Brian was praised by all of his teachers for being a sixth grader reading at a college level. In the 20th century, Brian would dial up the internet, join his favorite public chat, and proceed to bless those lucky enough to be in his presence with his dissertations. Brian knew every witness to his greatness was in awe of his perfect punctuation, gobsmacked by his godly grammar, stunned still by his scholarly sentence structure.

Except for the trollers, oh the trollers. The baine of Brian's profundity, one too many times had he been sucked into their flame wars. Too often were they able to adequately convince Brian they were a busty, beautiful, black haired, bombshell, biochemistry professor who was enamored with "Big B's intellect; only to post their private messages on the public chatrooms. Brian knew exactly how to handle trollers, he would correct every spelling mistake. Point out every error in punctuation show everyone just how ignorant the trollers are. They will think the post must be fabricated, there is not a single way the amazing "Big B" could fall for their simple shenanigans.

Brian and his ilk, moved towards the turn of the century with excitement. While all the ignoramus commoners believe the Y2K bug was going to destroy all the computers Brian knew the age his rule was at hand. Deep down Brian had to admit he was a little worried so he shelled out the eighty dollars for some software although he would never admit it. Brian knew as long as he had a jar of peanut butter and his Labrador Millie he would be just fine nothing could ever bring him down on the new millennium came.

Little did Brian know, the trollers, or the Keyboard Cowboys as they called themselves were building towards a revolution. They gathered numbers in the message boards, recruited from chatrooms, and scoured Newgrounds for their front lines.

As the millennium ticked ever closer, Brian noticed an increased presence of filthy trollers, and strangely more and more commoners on his message boards and in his chats. Hourly Big B and his cohort were falling into flame wars struggling to keep up with the needed corrections to grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Falling behind Brian would bemoan to his highschool English teacher recruiting her to the cause. Their pyramid of punctuation perfectly pummeled all with problematic punctuation.

The keyboard cowboys fought back brilliantly utilizing slang and pop culture, enchanting the young commoners with the edginess of every riposte. In small circles a story was whispered of the lone keyboard cowboy known only by the moniker: URMOMSHOTT69!.

"One late evening URMOMSHOTT69! entered the chatroom called Long Day Teaching." A chatroom notorious for having the most dastardly of punctuation pros. "URMOMSHOTT69! typed in neon green 56pt comic sans, why are teachers so horrible nowadays their all lazy just reading from the book afrade to actually engage the youths in their classes." Instantly enraged, the chatrooms gate keepers attacked. They typed in bold 16pt new roman with caps lock on, "LOOK AT THIS IGNORANT TROLLER. IT'S THEY'RE NOT THEIR! AFRAID NOT AFRADE, WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE A TEACHER IF YOU CANNOT SPELL PROPERLY." Tired from a long day URMOMSHOTT69! tried to explain how they were just tired how they just wanted to vent some before going to bed. The gatekeepers would not be assuaged with excuses they knew an imposter a troller when they saw one. The relentless attack continued, URMOMSHOTT69! began firing back with corrections of their own but realized it was fruitless, they changed tactics they began to fill the chatroom with something one of their students showed them. 8===D---

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The chatroom stilled the gatekeepers were stunned and didn't know how to respond. When the message "URMOMSHOTT69! Has left the chat." The gatekeepers took this as a victory and word made it's way back to Brian, he felt content knowing his fellow gatekeepers the proprietors of punctuation, the grandiose guardians of grammar, shut down a filthy troller. Brian was completely unaware that this would be known as first strike of the keyboard revolution.

Martha, an overworked middle school English teacher. Recently became a divorced mother of three boys. Trying to understand their fascination with potty humor and her oldest sons fascination with his computer. She always wondered what he did on it all day, so while they were spending the weekend with their father she decided to see what kept him so engaged. She turned on his Compaq and waited for it to dial up. She opened her son's AOL noticing his ridiculous name URMOMSHOTT69! she would have to remind herself to scold him later. After a few moments of searching she came across a chatroom called Long Day Teaching "URMOMSHOTT69! Has entered the chat."

Brian confidently approached his English 101 professor, wholly expecting a bestowal of praise equivalent of that given by Mrs. Holloway his highschool English teacher. She always praised his reports and told him how great his writing was saying more than once how she believed he could be the next Edward Bulwer-Lytton. To his dismay, Professor Bridges did not shower him with praise. He instead gave Brian criticism, calling his writing trite and rigid. Professor Bridges, claimed Brian needed to relax his writing focus more on the substance of his words to better communicate with a modern audience.

Who is this never was to critique Brian "Big B" Monroe the chatroom warrior protector of online grammar he would show him. Brian retreated to his chatrooms and this new website Myspace, he would laugh with all of his friends about this slight while letting everyone else know how they are inadequate for not using proper grammar whilst engaging in casual conversations online.

Brian was befuddled by the score given on his mid-term. Professor Bridges must have it out for me, Brian thought as he matched to the Dean's office. Brian exclaimed loudly the injustice of his failing marks proclaiming Professor Bridges jealousy of his writing prowess.

Bemused the Dean stood by the professor's grade. It was common this time of year for those students who were overly complemented in Highschool to demand meetings with Her. Each and everyone of them wanting to argue their marks pure disbelief at the idea they could possibly not be as great as they were lead to believe. Normally the students were easy to handle, a simple explanation of how the demands of college are much greater and they will need to explore various aspects of themselves to succeed would be enough to get most students out of her office. This student however, who has asked her twice now to call him Big B. This student refuses to believe he could possibly be lacking in any way.

Brian went online excited to brag to his fellow gatekeepers of how he complained to the Dean to to have his ignorant English teacher fix his grade. He would boast about Professor Bridges jealousy of him and then he would blow off some steam correcting the commoners grammar on YouTube comments.

Johnathan an old-time keyboard cowboy had not had an engagement in a long while. The keyboard revolution had drawn to a cooling period since the turn of the century, all of the chatrooms were dead or filled with bots. There was hope in a new website. Youtube was rekindling grudges, and sparking new conflicts. Johnathan was excited to see the new slang that emerged daily and enjoyed seeing trollers now simply called trolls stick it to the pompous elites who feel the constant need to control how others communicate with one another.

Johnathan was skimming through the comments section when he noticed a user name @BrianMonroe-d2m on multiple videos he could be found making corrections of peoples casual writing. Like a flash of lightning Johnathan typed his magnum opus "Calm down Grammar Tsar, geeze."

Like a wildfire come to life Grammar Tsar could be found everywhere. Two words that laid waste to all of those who would dare encroach on casual conversations.

The years past and and all but one Grammar Tsar has been eliminated, Brian Monroe. The last remaining Grammar Tsar, he stalks comment sections near and far attempting to place casual conversationalist in their proper place beneath him. Some believe he is a ghost a boogyman created to scare children, others know the truth Brian Monroe is just a failed writer lashing out at a future that he was never suited to. Nothing more than a cautionary tale of what too much praise and too little talent can bring into existence.

For all the future Keyboard Cowboys, Trollers, Trolls, and shit starters be vigilant you never know when your time will come to fight the Grammar Tsar of your generation.