The afternoon wore on, and people mostly stuck to themselves. Edward took a little bit of everyone's money at pool, then lost it all to Jesse at air hockey. Mikel kept trying to interview everyone to get their incites on what was happening in hopes of getting that Pulitzer. Jesse didn't waste her time with that.
David and Elliot played the old Ikari Warriors game Sal had rescued from a nickel arcade that was tossing it out. It hadn't worked when he got it, but between him and Byron, they got it going again. He made it free to play, so it was popular amongst the regulars.
Rob and Glenn had been playing the GI Joe game since before lunch and didn't look like they were going to stop until someone forced them to. They had conquered it twice but attempted to play through again with the weakest players. Nobody was on the Simpsons game, which was surprising. It was usually pretty popular.
Sal was playing Texas Hold 'em with Julie and Byron at the bar. Shots were poured upon request, and there was no metering going on. After a few hands, Julie stood up to go to the women's room, and Byron watched her go.
“You should talk to her. Get to know her. She’s hot.” Sal said.
“What about my wife?” Byron asked, sounding almost insulted.
“Oh, yeah. Your wife. Where is she? The Hague? Is that still in Chicago?” Sal didn’t have any humor in his voice. Byron winced and looked away.
“She won’t even accept your calls, man. It’s been a year. What’re you gonna do? You can’t keep living in a dream world. It’s killing you. Hell, it’s killing me. I watch you suffering every day. I want you to be happy, bro. You and I are tight. Tighter than anyone else in here. And I know you have a huge crush on our friend, the car saleswoman there. And why not? She’s smart, sexy as hell, and I think she’s pretty well off. You could do way worse. Plus, you’re a good-looking guy. And a doctor for little kids to boot.”
“First, I don’t know if she dates black guys. Second, I’m a nurse practitioner, not a doctor.” Byron said.
“Sorry, Mr. I’m only a hot black children’s nurse practitioner who runs marathons and saves kids’ lives for a living. Yeah, you’re right. She wouldn’t be interested in someone like that.”
“What are you gentlemen talking about?” Julie asked as she settled back into her seat.
“Who wouldn’t be interested in what?”
Sal acted like he would say something just to get Byron to preempt him.
"We were just talking about playing some strip shots poker. I said I didn't think you'd be interested in that." Byron said a little too quickly.
“Oh really? That sounds fun!” She stood up on her chair and announced it to the rest of the bar, inviting everyone to play. “Who’s up for some strip shots poker?”
Sal laughed and clapped Byron on the back.
“You have done messed up now, Byron.”
Jesse, David, and Edward all came over to play.
“So how does this work? I know strip poker, but how do shots come into it?” Edward asked.
"Here are the rules. The winner takes a shot. Then, the losers take off an article of clothing. Jewelry only counts if it's a non-visible piercing, and that's only to avoid losing underwear or bras." Julie said, though she never looked at Edward directly as she spoke. She was excited, like she was at a sleepover with her girlfriends, but there was a sense that the uninvited guest just showed up.
“Okay, let’s play!” Edward said.
Sal set out three bottles and poured shots for everyone. Mikel came over to watch, as did Elliot.
Byron was both excited and disappointed, if that's possible. The game started, and Byron was down to his undershirt after three hands. He still had his jeans, boots, hat, and belt on, had taken two shots, and was well on his way to a good buzz. He wasn't disappointed anymore.
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On the other hand, Julie was down to her skirt, bra, and whatever she had on under her skirt.
Jesse had taken off her sweater only to reveal a long-sleeved shirt. Next came her hair tie. Then she won a round and took her shot.
Sal took his boots, socks, and belt off. He also took a shot each round. The shots didn’t seem to phase him.
Edward had been reduced to his underwear. Before deciding to join, he took off his shoes and flannel to get a bit more comfortable. Then he heard the rules. He sipped his beer and hoped he didn't lose again.
David had taken his shoes, socks, and shirt off. That left him with his tank top, slacks, belt, and briefs. He had a few shots and was opening up more than he was used to.
The next hand was dealt, and Edward lost. He took the two-shot offer to keep his underwear on. Jesse and Julie lost, along with Sal and David, leaving Byron the big winner that round. Julie lost her skirt, Jesse her shoes, and Sal his shirt, only to begin flexing and showing off his six-pack. David lost his belt.
Mikel started catcalling his wife, trying to dance for him. Julie was happy to oblige, though she only focused her attention on Byron. Byron was more than a little embarrassed.
"Deal the damn cards, and let's get naked!" Jesse shouted above the hollering and catcalls.
Byron glared at her for a second before Julie returned to her stool.
Sal dealt while David poured new shots.
Byron picked up his hand. Sal smiled at him. Byron's hand was a straight flush. He won the round. And the next. After winning two more, he was drunk, and everyone else was either naked or nearly so.
Sal called it at that point. Julie got up and sat in Byron's lap, making his day. Mikel spoke up and asked point-blank: "Aren't you married, Byron?"
“Thanks, Mikel. You giant dick. No, no, I’m not. My wife divorced me over a year ago, and I never wanted to admit it. But since you chose this exact moment to bring it up, no, I’m not married. I also don’t have any STIs, if you were wondering. Anything else you’d like to know?”
“Oh, man, I’m sorry. I’m so far out of line here. Sorry Julie, Byron’s a great guy, I just didn’t want him to do anything to harm his relationship.”
“I knew he was divorced. Sal told me. I don’t randomly hit on married men, Mikel. Glad you think so highly of me, though.”
“Okay, I’m going to drink these shots, then take my foot, pull it out of my mouth, remove my foot, then my head, from my ass, and walk over there,” he gestured to the Simpsons game, “and come up with the greatest apology a person has ever given two of his best friends. I’ll talk to you both tomorrow.” And with that, Mikel drank every shot left on the bar, walked over to the Simpsons game, and loudly admonished himself by repeatedly saying, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
Everyone laughed.
While the laughter and commotion were going on, Byron and Julie disappeared into the back. They didn't reappear until morning.
Sal sat at the table with the AR in front of him. David took up a seat across from him. The two didn't say anything. They just enjoyed the comfort of each other's presence. The night passed quietly, other than the occasional sound from the back room. The happy couple seemed to have more stamina than either Sal or David had given them credit.
At around 3:00 AM, they finally fell silent. Sal chuckled under his breath. David rapped his knuckles on the table twice in recognition of their friend making a new connection.
Mikel suddenly sat bolt upright in his bed and projectile vomited on the floor, covering several feet with used whiskey and leftover pizza. Sal looked at him and shook his head.
“Damn. Now, who’s gonna clean up after that nasty bastard?”
“Not me. I have an aversion to vomit. I’d rather deal with blood than vomit.” David said matter of factly.
Jesse was up in an instant.
“Damnit Mikel. You know you shouldn’t have taken all those shots. You’re an idiot. Where’s the mop at Sal?”
“We have a winner,” Sal said as he headed into the back to get the mop.
There was a shocked scream from the backroom as Sal switched on the light, illuminating the completely naked and very exposed bodies of Julie and Byron.
"Shit! Sorry!" Sal tossed a blanket over them and wheeled the mop bucket out as quickly as he could. He flipped the light off and, as soon as he was clear, started laughing.
Jesse took the mop and cleaned the vomit up like a pro. Mikel was unconscious. He didn’t even stir when she slapped him in the face with the mop.
Sal explained the scream to David, who found it equally hilarious. A few minutes later, Jesse had set up a new bed for herself, David had lowered the lights in the bar, and everyone but David and Sal was asleep again.
Sleep is a funny thing. When we get it on a regular basis, we take it for granted. When something happens that causes us to go without for prolonged periods of time, we crave it. What we don't do is take advantage of the lulls. We might be sleep-deprived and complain about it, but why not take a damn nap? There's always time for a nap.
Everyone was going to learn that lesson soon. They would learn about other forms of depravity as well. Depravity far worse than missing a few hours of sleep.
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