September 2013

      "Scream. Scream. Scream your heart out. Scream. Scream. Scream your heart out for me. You're crazy."

I trill in a soprano. Softly lifting my head; raven, unkempt locks falling against my bloodily soaked cheeks.

      "Crazy for me, baby."

I step one baby-doll shoe forward to lean on my knee, the other follows same. My blindingly, bright blue maid dress blowing over my knees onto the wood.

      "Yell. Holler. Bellow your heart out. I can hear you. I love to hear you scream. Oh, you're crazy."

My fake cough is soft, I try not to ruin my breathing. I press the blood bag on my abdomen inside my dress. The tubes bloodshot my eyes under the purple irises. Cold, red tears fall down my rose cheeks onto the pearl frill covering my chest.

      "As am I, baby."

Maniacally, I laugh. Louder and louder until a sudden stop. Blankly, I stare ahead finishing the song in a long exhale.

      "Forgive me."

At first there is an overwhelming silence, then a sudden roar of applause bellowing throughout the dark, crowded room. My stomach drops as a chill rush up my spine. I stand up, spotlight blinding me. I don't care that I couldn't see, the applause is all my body feels. 

The giddily host skips onstage patting me gently on the head.

      "Incredible! Very beautiful voice. I'm absolutely stunned!"

I bow, stepping off the stage to the other contestants unable to wipe off my smile. The judges nod in approval, only making it harder for me to relax my drying cheeks. 

The host continued,

      "That was Seven Cande cosplaying as Amanda from Amanda in Bloodyland singing 'Crazy' by Vodka. You can follow him on Instagram at 'sevencande '. Now, for the judges to decide who wins best cosplay for Mokoro Con 2013! Judges..."

♂

      "Thank you again for the picture, Seven! It was nice meeting you finally. And congratulations again on your win!"

The Japanese schoolgirl skipped away with the selfie of her "senpai" on her phone, ready to post it and tag me immediately. I love meeting my fans in person. Proves just how amazing of a being I am.

I wave back with a little less excitement than the first wave,

      "Bye-bye!"

      "Can I get a picture as well?"

A deep voice questioned from behind Dria and I. I turn to a see a familiar character wearing lumberjack outfit covered in blood and a skull mask.

      "Are you 'Guns'?!"

He nods confidently pulling a slow spin. No need since it wasn't complete. Where's his shotgun? Or even the chainsaw? No weapon, no wonder I had to guess. If it weren't for the detail-specific mask, I wouldn't have been able to guess at all. 

      "I use to have the accessories, but I got robbed a while back and I guess they thought my weapons were real."

I clasp my hands together.

      "Or they were fans of the show."

He chuckles tilting his head. 

      "Maybe."

Dria taps my shoulder, 

      "Who is he cosplaying as?"

Of course, she is asking as if I know every costume here. I whisper to her,

      "Guns. Amanda's boyfriend? I told you to watch the show and you wouldn't be asking me who everyone is."

Dria shrugs to herself as he faces us again. He studies Dria's colorful dress and asks her,

      "Who are you supposed to be?"

      "No one. I'm just following the theme with Sev."

      "Oh, well it's working you look cool."

      "Thanks!"

'Guns' pulls out his phone holding it between us snapping a picture. We take a few at different angles before 'Guns' has an idea.

      "How about a kiss since we kill hallucinations together?"

In character, I giggle softly quickly kissing him on the cheek as the boy snapped another picture.  

      "Sev!"

Dria exclaimed at me. She shouldn't be shocked I jumped to the idea, but I guess she couldn't help herself. 

      "What? It's just a peck on the cheek no big deal."

      "You don't even know his name."

      "Valentine."

He slides his mask off. He's Asian with light chocolate skin and black, curly hair draping his wide shoulders. A sharp jawline that could cut wood, and big brown eyes to get lost in. He has a glowing smile, revealing his big cheeks. 

      "My name is Valentine. And your lips are very soft, Sev."

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

Dria gasped to herself as I cock my eyebrow in surprise. I say slyly,

      "Thanks. You're cute."

Valentine's smile grew cheekier.

      "Thanks, Seven. I love your content and your name. Your Amanda is scary accurate, except that gap in your teeth."

I groan,

      "They are mine."

And they're always in the way. 

      "I see that, but they're cute anyways. It adds to her character crazy nature and makes your costume unique."

Whatever, I thought to myself. 

      "I better go, I'd stay for the rave but a lot of us has school tomorrow."

Dria jumps in suddenly, 

      "Muskegon High?"

      "Huh? Oh, yeah."

Both my thick brows jump in surprise,

      "Really? Us too."

      "Sweet. Guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. Thanks for the pic. I know you got a lot of people asking you, so it means a lot. And congrats on your win. You really do have a pretty voice. You mind if I post the video on my page?"

I nod in approval,

      "Let me follow your Instagram."

      "Sure."

♂

      "You know who that was right?"

Dria laughs dryly as we walk out of the Mokoro Center. Her back-long hair blowing in the cold Michigan wind. She shivers, cursing to herself for not wearing a coat. She wanted to match with me, even if it included a sleeveless maid dress and tights. 

      "He said his name was Valentine, so I assume h—"

      "Valentine Van Allen."

Dria cut me off before I could make a sarcastic comment. 

      "Sounds familiar..."

      "His parents' own 'Heyweed Dispensary'? They have those bong-fire parties?"

      "AH yeah! Cool, didn't think I'd see him there."

      "No shit. Not only that, but you kissed him. I bet you he thinks you're a girl. You should wear more dresses to school, you look so cute in them." 

      "Yeah? And get my ass beat by Viktor every day? I'm not ever in the mood for that shit."

I slide the fake-blood soaked wig off my strawberry blonde head. 

      "But thanks anyways."

      "He needs to get his shit together cause you look so cute. What time do you have to be home again?"

      "Ten."

Dria checks her pink phone.

      "Oh shit! It's almost ten!"

      "So what? He'll be fine. I'm sure he'd rather have me late than see me in a dress. Where's your mom at?"

      "I'm calling her. Call him so he doesn't worry!"

      "It's fine, Dria. I'll just text him."

As I check my phone, I only see a spam of likes and comments from Valentine. My phone is still going off from the other people I had met today. He tags me in a post, it's a video of me on stage. I look insane, I am a God at cosplay. As soon as he posted, it gains over fifty likes and a few comments. I'll probably be the most liked post on his page, which I'm totally OK with. Which reminds me, another higher definition video will be posted on the Mokoro Con webpage. Since I won, I got a trophy and I'll be one of the faces on their homepage. I can't say I'm excited, I feel more as though I belong on there anyways. 

The likes and comments are going off, causing my phone to vibrate uncontrollably in my hand. Slightly annoyed, I set it on silent as a grey Sedan pulls up besides them. 

      "You need to get dropped off, Seven?"

Dria's Mom asks as I hop in the back seat. 

      "No, I can walk home. I just need to change. Thanks, Maria."

♂

I decided to detour from home to go to the gas station. It was on the way home anyways, I just wanted something to drink. The shit at the con were way to expensive and Dria's place was as dry as the Sahara. Plus, I already know I missed dinner, and since Viktor wants to be strict when it comes to late night snacks, I don't have much of a choice unless I want to die of low sugar. He doesn't want us to be fat, I guess. Understandable, but some Kool-Aid isn't going to suddenly make us fat.  

Immediately, I head to the back aisle where the drinks are and snatched an Arizona. I attempted to grab some chips as well, but I'm suddenly distracted by a strong urge. I don't really need to buy this drink if I don't need to. I have money, but if I can get away then why not?

Looking around, I notice the clerks are talking to each other. One notices me, but I don't show any suspicion. I wait until he isn't watching me anymore before shoving the drink into the opposite pocket. I walk to the other side of the aisle, where I drop the bag to hurry the drink underneath the bloody dress next to my trophy. I struggle a little bit, because the blood is a lot fresher than I thought it would be after how long it's been. 

      "What do you think you're doing?"

The man appears over me suddenly. I stand quickly, heart dropping only for a second before I'm calm again. 

      "Nothing. Just looking for my wallet out of my bag."

      "Really? Doesn't look like that to me."

I pull the can out; it's covered in fake blood. I remain calm though i should be freaking out. 

      "I was just seeing if it would fit. What? You think I can't afford Arizona?"

      "I don't know, I never seen you before. You could the stealing type and judging by that blood you might be crazy. That's OK though, 'cause you're a cutie."

I roll my eyes. 

      "I'm paying for it."

The can is bloody on my fingertips, but I don't care. I take that and the bag beginning to walk to the counter, but I'm stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

      "I'll let you take it for a kiss, sugar."

I slap his hand off cursing in Russian,

      "Excuse me?! Don't get fucking punched, Perdoon stary!" 

      "Ruger! Leave the kid alone, and stop being a creep."

The other man behind the counter called uninterested. I slam the bloody drink on the shelf speed walking out the store before anything else could happen. Fucking gross, I think to myself. If I didn't need a shower before I do now. 

♂

At home, I walk in still frustrated over the incident at the gas station. I shouldn't have stopped there. I've never been before, but I guess I shouldn't go again. I take my phone out seeing the countless calls from my stepfa—

      "Sasha!"

I jump in place at Viktor's voice. He walks into the den from the kitchen with a frown on his face. In Russian, he lectures me for coming home late. He asks about the blood my hand. About my bag. What I was doing. He's being a complete drill sergeant. We go back and forth before he demands my phone. I deny at first, but then I give it up. 

      "Until one week, I will give your phone back. How dare you make Mom worry?"

He likes to forget he's the stepdad. I couldn't care any less, but I ask anyways to show I don't care even more. 

      "Did I miss dinner?"

Viktor sighs in defeat,

      "Yes, Sasha, you missed dinner. Go to bed, you better not be late for bus tomorrow or I will take your door next."

Viktor heads upstairs. I bean to the bathroom to piss, but instead I suddenly kicked the wall in. I curse at myself for losing my cool. Footsteps flood above him to the door. I open knowing exactly what is to happen.

The drill sergeant smacks me on the side of the head, 

      "Dubiina! Don't ask for phone until you fix this."

      "Bullshit!"

I shout. Another smack to the head, one that will leave a headache. 

      "Go to bed. I don't want to see your face for the rest of night. You almost woke your mother with your commotion."

      "She won't awaken, vodka keep you sleep."

Viktor side eyes me, unable to argue. He knows I'm right. I know I'm right. That's why he can't say shit. 

      "Go to bed, Seven..."

I walk pass him up the steps,

      "Perdoon stary..."

      "That's what happens when you act up, Svenchka."

Mom stops me, standing in her doorway in robe. She isn't slurring, but i can smell the alcohol on her breath, and she looks like a mess. I bet she didn't leave the house at all today. On a Sunday, too? No way, she stayed this way the whole day no doubt. 

      "I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning."

      "I left you some borscht in the fridge. Wait until Viktor sleeps and--"

      "I'm not hungry. I'm thirsty. You have anything to drink?"

She is silent. I didn't even realize how she could've taken that as an insult until after i said it. 

      "Good night, Svenchka."

I was ready to correct myself, but I decided to let it go and just go off to bed before I make another mistake.