I was currently standing in front of the door to my new classroom. Putting my ears on the door and listening in closely from the outside. Wondering if it was okay for me to enter now. However, my mind was mostly occupied with thoughts on how to settle my nerves.
Phew, okay. I can do this. I thought everything through in my head. From the smile, right down to the ‘nice to meet you’. Just breathe in and breathe out. There’s nothing to worry about. Nothing is going to go horribly wrong. But…
What IF something does go horribly wrong?
Before I was in this situation, I was in the principal’s office with my dad and the school's head, who both talked enthusiastically about the fun times that they had back then. Who knew that my dad was a friend of this high school’s principal from way back when.
But...
Hmm, now that I see one of his old friends in the flesh, I really didn’t know any other acquaintances of my father aside from him.
After they finished talking about their youth. The principal tried to say something and looked at me, which I broke eye contact the moment that he did so.
The man looked confused for a while until my dad told him that I was a very shy kid. Excuse me, but I’m not shy. I’m just a little bit reserved from interacting with other people. Big difference… I think.
“Your classroom’s on the third floor. The second room to the left after the stairs” He said.
“Don’t worry about informing the teacher there. I’ve already told him yesterday that there was a transferee that would come to his room at this time”
That’s… convenient. Did my dad already inform the principal before we came here?
I turn towards my laughing father who was busy looking at some old photo albums that the principal pulled out from under his desk.
He notices my gaze and made a thumbs up with a bright smile plastered across his face. I don’t know… something smells fishy here. It’s just that my dad wasn’t the ‘well prepared and ready for take-off’ type of person. He’s more of a ‘burning the food along with the house when cooking’ kind of one.
Afterwards, the both of them then told me to head towards my classroom, and here I am right now. Worrying whether I’d mess up my public debut in high school. More so, now that I’m thinking that I really will mess something up and embarrass myself.
I took one last deep breath and gripped the doorknob hard with my sweaty hand. I spun it, opened the door, and entered the classroom, only to be greeted by the stares and noisy chatter of more than forty people inside of it. Ah, I’m growing lightheaded and my legs are already trembling. Not a good sign.
“!” Calm down and stay focused. Don’t look at them. Only concentrate on walking towards the teacher and be done with your introduction. Don’t trip, don’t forget to smile, and definitely don’t mess anything up…
Are they still looking at me? My curiosity got the best of me, as I glance at the other students with my peripheral vision, and saw that they were still staring. Some of them were even looking at me as if I was a new exotic animal sent into the zoo.
“Okay, class. Settle down” The male teacher, said.
Everyone soon quieted down and then there was only a deafening silence. Which made the moment more intense for me, as everyone was now giving me his or her undivided attention. Is it too late to drop out of school?
“I know that we’re already in the middle of the school term, but we have a new transferee here. Now, go on and introduce yourself” He smiled while he encouraged me to stand in front of everyone and give out my name.
Okay, it’s time to put what I practiced into play. Smile, say name, and then finish with ‘nice to meet you’. Perfect.
“My n-“ As I was about to say my name out loud. I notice one particular person inside of the classroom. The man who shoved the cigarette onto the beaten man’s face from last night.
“So, that’s one of the four that you saw from last night”
“?” Confused at the sudden statement, I look towards the male teacher and saw that he was looking at me expectantly. Urging me on with ‘Don’t be shy. Introduce yourself’. Was he the one who just spoke?
“Hey, you there”
Huh? There it goes again. I look around to see who was the one talking in a loud voice, but the only strange thing that I saw is the person from last night looking at me with a sour expression. As if, he was sucking on a lemon, but a dozen of them at the same time.
“Yes, you, pretty boy. Why did you and your pack of hoodlums attack that man in the alley last night?”
Who asked that? Was there someone else who saw them besides me? I looked around the classroom for the second time to find whoever it was, but they were all looking straight at me. The man in question was also watching me with a glare. I turn my head to look behind me and to my side to see if there was anybody there, but there wasn’t anyone else besides the teacher and me.
Wait a minute.
...
I was the one who said that!
“U-uh… Rei Feld… n-nice… nice to meet you”
Well, that didn’t go according to how I pictured it in my head. I’d say it was very far. Like, ‘at the other side of the world’ far. I even forgot to smile.
I look towards the man next to me. Expecting him to say ‘Okay, good job. Your seat is right over there’ so that this awkward introduction would be over, but he just stares at me. Please, stop doing that…
I can sense that my face is already blushing with a bright red color. Anyone, someone, I don’t care who it is, just end my suffering now.
After a minute long of silence inside the room, the teacher snaps back to reality and assigns me to my seat at the only vacant one in the classroom. The seat at the last row and column to the right, next to the windows. Which is fine with me, but… I’m going to sit right next to the man who was still glaring at me.
I gingerly made my way to my seat and ignored the man sitting to my side for the whole duration of class. He was trying to tell me something, but I just zoned out. Thinking that I already made a mess out of things and I can’t go back in time to fix it. I’m an idiot! Why did I have to say that out of nowhere!
Hours passed, and I didn’t even notice that it was already lunch break. Since, I was repeatedly blaming myself for hours on how I made my only introduction so awkward. In addition, I think that the other students were looking at me as if I’m some kind of weirdo. Maybe it was just my pessimistic personality doing wonders, but I’m too afraid to even verify if they were indeed looking at me in that way.
With my melancholy building up, I took a tray with some food from the cafeteria stall and sat down at the farthermost unoccupied table that I could find. At least my lunch is going to be a peaceful and quiet one. Or so I would like to say, but there was a few familiar people standing in front of me.
“?” I questioningly looked at them. Praying that they didn’t see my face clearly last night.
“Excuse me, may I ask of you to come with us outside?” The pretty boy who was glaring at me all day long asked in a polite tone. Which was very nerve wrecking when he does that.
I know this one. I’ve already seen this a hundred of times in T.V. and read this in some of the novels that I have. They act all polite and courteous at first, and when you least expect, bam! You’re lying down face first in a puddle of your own blood.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
I shake my head nervously and act as if I didn’t know anything. But, it was too late now, as my introduction in class already gave it all away. I think I’m about to cry…
Deflated from their persistent asking, I crumbled and went with them outside. I’m so weak to these kinds of things. Why can’t I just say no and refuse them outright.
The moment that we stepped out of the door, they immediately surrounded me in a circle formation where I was at the center. I felt like I was a character in one of the novels that I’ve read before. Where I was going to be shoved inside a barrel, covered in cement, and then thrown into the ocean.
“I would like to clarify if you were the one who interrupted us last night?” The pretty boy asked.
In this situation, the right thing for me to do to survive and still have a normal high school life is to deny everything and act as if nothing happened.
“What if I am?”
What the!? What am I spouting out of my mouth? I was shaking my head in denial, but my words just wouldn’t match up with my body language.
“I see…” pretty boy said.
Is this the part where they’re going to start beating me up? I just hope that it doesn’t leave any long lasting marks or scars on my body.
Closing my eyes and expecting for the worst. I waited for his knuckles to make contact with my face. However, even after a minute passed by, nothing happened. I opened my eyes and cautiously looked to see that they were talking amongst themselves. Phew, I’m still safe… for now.
After they finished their little discussion, they turned their attention back towards me. Making me flinch, as their intense stares where quite effective against my fragile mind.
“Just a little friendly reminder. Don’t try to interrupt us again next time. Okay?” He said in a polite tone.
You got it. No problem here. Me see nothing, me know nothing.
“What if I do?”
Stop! Please, just stop! Why can’t I just shut up and stop speaking nonsense!
“Then, we’ll make it so that you have a reason not to” After he said that, they left me alone out here and went inside the school.
Was I just threatened? I think I was… I suddenly don’t feel too good. Maybe I should just go home and sleep it off. Feeling down, I got my umbrella from my locker and went home.
Walking in the rain keeps my mind slightly calm with the sounds of water hitting the ground. I was also thinking on how I can fix my mistakes while I was walking, but I couldn’t come up with anything else besides apologizing and saying it won’t happen ever again.
“It seems you also need to grow a spine”
I looked at my back and to both of my sides, and saw no one there. Someone is talking to me again, and there isn’t anyone else nearby this time. Am I going crazy?
“Be careful and look at where you’re walking. We don’t want to trip now, do we?”
This isn’t just a figment of my imagination anymore. Someone or… SOMETHING is talking directly to me from somewhere that I couldn’t see.
With my mind in turmoil, I ran towards our apartment building. Ignoring everything as I pass by numerous streets, signs, and people.
“Be careful, I said! Just walk home, there’s no need to run and get drenched in the rain”
“!” I picked up the pace. Each word that it said was making me more jittery each second. Who wouldn’t be afraid of someone or something suddenly talking to you out of nowhere? It’s spooky and creepy, with a dash of paranormal activity.
Arriving at our apartment building, one of the tenants there greets me, but I just ignored her and went straight up towards our room. I know that it was bad manners to ignore someone. Therefore, I’ll try to apologize and greet her properly the next time we meet, but right now, I have a bigger problem.
I dug inside my pocket for the key to open the door, and fumbled it in my hands when I tried to hold it properly.
“Take it easy. Just calm down and insert it slowly”
That doesn’t help! It only made my fumbling worse, as I drop it on the floor. I quickly tried to grab it, but I dropped it again. This happened a few more times before I finally stopped my hands from shaking so much, that I could finally open the door and go inside.
I immediately rushed towards my room and locked the door behind me. Holing up on my bed while covering myself with the blanket, like a turtle going inside its shell for protection. But in reality, it didn’t offer up anything besides utter darkness while being covered by it.
“Hey, don’t be like that. I come in peace. There’s nothing to worry about”
When something says ‘they come in peace’, most often than not, they weren’t. I also learned that from T.V. and my novels. Who says that watching T.V. and reading fantasy books corrupt the mind? Most of the things that you’d learn from them could be applied to a lot of real-life situations like right now.
“I came here to help you out, you know”
Help me out with what exactly? A massive panic attack followed by a heart attack from the fear that you induced? More importantly, why was it trying to help me?
“At least say something. Even a simple sound or click of the tongue is fine with me”
Should I talk to it and find out what it is? Maybe… is it some kind of demon that would try to possess me the moment I have a conversation with it?
“This is very awkward when I’m the only one doing the talking…”
But it sounds like its desperate… I grit my teeth and did something that my mind is telling me not to do. Which was to find out what the thing that’s talking to me is. May God watch over my poor soul…
“Hn… h-hello?” I bit my tongue when I tried to ask it.
It really wasn’t good for my mental health that I’d mess up my greetings to something or someone again today. I already had my month’s fill this morning.
“Finally!”
Startled with its excited shout, I jumped out of my bed and fell on the floor. The impact made a loud thud as my right shoulder made contact with the wooden floor.
“Whoa! Can’t you be a little more careful? I’ve stressed this a lot since a while ago, but you really should pay more attention to your surroundings“
I wouldn’t have fallen if you didn’t startle me like that!
I would have told it that it was its fault, but I still had the idea stuck in my head that it might possess me at some point if I converse with it too much. Or… was it already possessing me and that’s why I can hear it? A shiver runs down my spine at the thought.
“W-w-w-what are you?” I asked it.
“I don’t know. But, what I do know is that I’m here to help you out”
“H-help… with what?”
Maybe it’s some kind of guardian angel sent to me by the heavens… or a vengeful ghost who’s bound to this world with a grudge. And I’m the one that it’s going to use to exact its revenge.
“Everything”
That’s very… broad. Can it help me pass my tests with ease? It wouldn’t be called cheating when I let it memorize for me instead, right?
“However, if I see something that you should do on your own, then I’ll just take the back seat and watch it all play out. Although, I’ll still give some sort of advice or input if the situation requires it. You can’t rely everything on me and make you a good for nothing. That would be against what I came here to do”
There goes my easy way to get A+ grades on my report card.
“Then… uhmm, why are you helping me?”
Maybe it really was some kind of guardian angel or spirit to help me get by.
“Because I am”
Because I am, that’s why you’re helping me? That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
“Are yo-… where are you exactly?”
I just noticed that I don’t even know where to look at when I’m talking with it. Was it watching me from somewhere inside the room?
“I’m right here beside you” It whispers to my left ear. Making the hairs on my back and neck stand on end.
“A-a-a-a…g-g-ghost!?”
Ghosts are a big no-no. I don’t like them a single bit. Those nightmare-inducing entities that can walk through walls, appear and disappear out of nowhere, float a few feet up in the air, and their horrific moans, traumatized me from all the horror movies that my dad made me watch with him when I was younger.
“Of course not. How can something like me be a specter?” It said.
“… You aren’t a ghost. But then, what are you?”
“As I said before, I don’t know. Any other questions before we change the topic to something more important?”
Something more important? What’s more important than the identity of the talking voice that’s haunting me? Wait… maybe I’m sleeping and I was just dreaming all of this. What if this whole thing was just a horrible nightmare and I could make it all go away when I wake up? Here it goes then.
I slap my face hard, just to make sure that things weren’t a figment of my imagination, or to wake me up if I was indeed in dreamland.
“Why’d you that for?”
I’m definitely awake… and that hurts a lot. Maybe pinching myself next time would be a good idea. Note to self, slapping yourself hurts. So, use both of your hands to pinch your cheeks instead.
“Let’s move on then. Firstly, yo-“ It was trying to say something, but I interrupted it.
“…ame” I muttered under my breath.
“What? I’m sorry, could you repeat that. I couldn’t here you very well”
“I said… your name. What should I call you?” It was somewhat rude to keep calling the voice ‘it’ in my head, so I asked a proper name to address it with. Being courteous is something that was ingrained into me by my dad at an early age. And well… it’s another source of my worries.
“Oh, that. I apologize for the late introduction, but I’m… hmm…”
“Hmm?”
‘Hmm’ is definitely a weird name. But, if Hmm is what it wants to be called, then so be it. Although, it would be quite a problem when I suddenly utter its name because I was thinking of something.
“No… well, just give me a minute”
Giving the entity some time to think, I stood up from the wooden floor and went back to my bed. Curling myself and draping the blanket over me. With my face the only thing that wasn’t covered by the gray polyester.
“Oh… oh! I remember some part of it”
Some part? Can you even forget your name and only remember some parts of it? Maybe it was lying, and I’m the gullible fool that’s believing every word that it says… or it just doesn’t remember.
“Al… yeah, just call me Al from now on” It said.
“Okay… Al”
I don’t know if I could process and accept all of what was happening in front of me in just a blink of an eye, but one things for sure… I’m stuck with a voice that says it’s going to help me out from now on. That’s… great, I guess?
“Now that we’re done with the trivial matters. Let’s move on to something that we should discuss as soon as possible!” Al said.
“What is it?”
Is it something like ‘I want you to tell this woman that I loved her with all my heart, before I move on to the afterlife’ or ‘these people stole all my gold, and I want you to get it back for me’. I… can’t do any of it. Especially the first one. Impossible.
“You’re skipping school this afternoon, and that’s not good. There’s also ignoring your vegetables and not getting the proper vitamins and minerals that your body needs. Oh, before I forget! There was the running in the rain too. You should always…”
…
Did I just get a voice that would nag at me all day long?