A servant soon called a nervous Mei and a sleepy Marc from their quarters. He was dressed as shabbily as ever, wearing an old worn traveler's cloak with plain brown trousers and a white tunic. She had spent the last few hours trying to get something presentable for the Empress' court—he could at least try.

       They headed their way towards the dining area, a large hall illuminated by hundreds of lamps and candles. A long table was placed in the center with several smaller ones on the sides. Foods of all kinds were placed there—fresh sea food from the coastal cities, rice from the plains, cheese from the highlands, and bread from the Western nations.

       Mei noticed that two chairs had been left empty—directly besides the Empress and her daughter at the end of the table. She immediately began to feel nauseous; the people next to her were too important! Surely there was a mistake; not even great generals and warlords sat there! She had planned on hiding in some corner until the affair was done, but...

       Marc, or whatever his name was, lazily walked over and sat down in the chair next to the Empress. Was he crazy? Actually, she already knew the answer to that one.

       She sighed, steeled herself, and followed him over, trying to make herself as small as possible. The people around her immediately gave her strange looks, but they were soon drawn away by her more interesting neighbor, who had immediately engaged himself in conversation. The high members of the Empress' court, no doubt a little insulted that a mere stranger was allowed to sit in such a high position, spoke about politics, philosophy, and finally mathematics, trying to find in him a mistake.

       Mei had no idea what they were talking about. When it came to mathematics, she thought they had finally reached a topic she could understand, but then they started talking about so-and-so feets of chicken and cow and how many chickens and how far would a ball thrown would land and finding the circumference of a circle and finding the distance traveled with a polynomial velocity and she quickly found herself lost. Marc, however, seemed to have all he answers, and the questions he countered with seem to have no answer at all until he explained.

       Dinner ended with many bitter courtesans and a very confused Mei. The servants escorted them back and she went to sleep, exhausted.

       Soon after, she heard aggressive knockings at her door. She quickly dressed herself and answered, finding two guards and Marc.

       He yawned.

       "What you did you do now!?" she asked, a little panicked.

       "Dunno. Ask them. I can't"

       She quickly did just that. They explained that he was found in an area that he shouldn't have been in. She translated for him.

       "Oh, really now? Well, I was just looking for the bathroom. Tell them that, okay?"

       She explained that he was looking for the bathroom, emphasizing that he was both a foreigner and stupid. They left, satisfied.

       She sighed and collapsed on the ground, relieved. "Why can't you just be normal?"

       "How is going to the bathroom abnormal?" he protested.

       "Normal people don't wander around the Imperial Palace at night!"

       "Even if they have to pee?"

       "Even if they have to pee!"

       He looked absorbed in thought. "But I really had to go."

       "You're an idiot!"

       He smiled and turned to leave.

       "Wait, you're not going back wandering, are you?"

       "Well," he replied, "I still have to go to the bathroom."

       "Can you stop!?" she protested, getting up to stop him.

       A sharp glint shone in his eyes, freezing her. "I am not here only to play the fool," he said. "If you move anymore..."

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       "W-what..."

       "Your robes will fall off more."

       She finally noticed that her sash had come undone, and a good deal of skin was showing. She quickly covered up with her arms and turned away. "W-why didn't you tell me earlier!?"

       "Well, I don't have a camera, so I had to burn the image into my mind."

       "Get out!"

       He laughed and stepped out. "Goodbye, then. See you tomorrow."

       A little before noon, after a servant had brought in breakfast, Marc entered her quarters.

       "What is it...?" she asked hesitatingly. "Did you try to find the bathroom again?"

       "Nope, but we need to go."

       "What have you done!?" she asked, horrified.

       "Nothing!" he said defensively. "We're not being banished or anything."

       "Really? You're not about to follow up with a 'but', are you?"

       "Really. In fact, we're on a imperial mission. There's been a conflict in some of the borderlands to the south. We have to resolve it."

       "Once the Imperial Army steps in, the conflict should resolve itself, shouldn't it?"

       "We don't have the army with us."

       "Even an Imperial Auditor would be enough to cow most peoples."

       "Nope, we're the only ones going."

       "What."

       "What about it?"

       "How did this happen!?" she said, grabbing his collar and shaking him around.

       "Weelll, those dinner guys were like 'There's no way to resolve this without imperial intervention' and I was like 'there totally is' and they're like 'then do it' and I'm 'okay' and here we are."

       Ignoring his strange pattern of speech, she cried: "Why can't you just sit down and shut up for once...!"

       "Well, that wouldn't be fun. Don't be so down about it. It's an adventure."

       "I'm going to kill you or myself or both."

       "You can do that later. Come on, the carriage is waiting."

       With much reluctance, she dragged her way to the stable, where there was indeed a carriage waiting. It was lathered in red and gold. Stepping inside, she found the interior both very large and very soft. Though it was very comfortable, there was about it she felt she was missing.

       A little ways onto the journey, she found out what is.

       "Was this given to us specifically by the Empress?"

       "Hmm? No, I asked for it. She suggested a plainer one, but I've been traveling plainly for too long. I want some comfort for once."

       "You're an idiot! A huge idiot! We're going to get eaten alive by bandits! We're a huge red flag! And we have no guards! You're actually going to kill me. Why. What did I do for the gods to treat me so unjustly..."

       "Calm down, calm down."

       "How can I calm down!?"

       "You're going to wake our guest."

       "...guest? Isn't it just the two of us?"

       "Well, it was supposed to be, but we have a little surprise," he said, reaching behind his seat.

       He lifted a little girl, dressed in fine silk, and put her on the seat. She yawned and looked at Mei.

       Who was she? Wait, she's seen her before... when... at the dinner? Yeah, but where...

       "Looks like we have a real Princess with us!" Marc said happily.

       It dawned on her then. "You... You...!"

       "It wasn't my doing! She sneaked by her own free will."

       "When the Empress hears of we will be executed! EXECUTED!"

       "No, I'd imagine we'll be tortured then executed," he added.

       "THAT'S NOT BETTER!"

       "Well," he said, smiling, "that's just how life goes sometimes."