For the first time in his life, Vin wished he could experience pain. The blade piercing through his chest would hurt more than his defeat. The pain would shock him awake, force him to move. He fought to stand, to silence those who waited for his fall, but his legs wouldn’t listen. The game didn’t grant him the punishment. Kaizer panted over him, hands gripping the hilt of his swordspear. How had it come to this?

“Vin is down!” The announcer screamed and the crowd erupted in cheers. “Are we about to witness an upset in the rankings?”

The swordspear came slashing down, severing Vin’s arm and claiming another chunk of his health bar. Vin fell to one knee and stumbled to his feet, but a headbutt from Kaizer forced him back down. He had fought so hard to maintain his ranking, only to lose it here.

Kaizer swung the weapon and the remainder of his health vanished. A system message popped up at the edges of his vision, dashing the last of his hopes.

[You have lost the ranked duel. You have been demoted to third place. You will be logged out]

"He has done it!" The battleground around him faded slowly, and the announcer's voice grew distant. "Kaizer has become number two on the rankings!" The last thing he saw was Kaizer holding his weapon up in celebration as cheers rained down on him.

Vince was back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He always prepared himself for the worst before heading to battle, but every defeat dealt a heavy blow. In just two months, he had fallen from second to third place. The fight to conquer the top spots got harder and harder as more players joined Twilight. Perhaps his age was to blame too. Most rankers retired from pro play before they turned 25. Vince would be 28 next month.

His mind drifted to the game's launch about three years ago. Just another Virtual Reality game among a hundred others. Nobody could predict Twilight’s success. Vince was only lucky to be one of the first players. He was hooked right away. The game was simple back then. Kill monsters, hand in quests, rinse and repeat. Vince started his pro career by making simple quest guides.

Nowadays he had to deal with sponsors, challengers aiming to take his place, interviews and contracts while trying to run a guild at the same time. He was ready to give up at times, but then he looked at the exorbitant hospital bills for his friend’s treatment. Even though he made five digits, it was barely enough. The game had effectively turned into his job. He liked parts of it, but it was a job nonetheless.

A headache was already brewing in the back of his head, so he stood with a grunt and made himself a coffee. The clock read a quarter to five. He had to get back to the game in less than an hour, get the guild ready for today's battle. But first, he had to clear his head.

The coffee machine dinged. Vince took a sip and pulled a face. Bitter as fuck, just how he liked it. He flopped onto the couch and waved his hand, turning on the TV projection. Browsing through his saved clips, he found one of his first PvP battles and decided to play that. Not many people could relax to slaughter and violence, but Vince found it soothing.

Twilight’s PvP mechanic had been part of the game since its inception, and was the only mode he could still enjoy without much worry. Vince and his guild members were aligned with the light, while the enemies had chosen the darkness of the world when they made their characters. One side fought the other every dusk and every dawn. It was simple like that.

The coffee left in his cup was dropping to dangerous levels, so he filled the rest up with whiskey. Whenever he had guests over he’d offer them this unholy offspring of the irish coffee, just to watch them cringe. He didn’t like it either, but he had come to think of it as fuel. Medicine, to get him through the day. After a few minutes of rest and reminiscing, he headed back to his bedroom. Vince wore his projector suit, stood in front of the mirror and cycled through his clothes. White t-shirt and shorts, SOAD hoodie and jeans, pyjamas. He ended up downloading a black suit and pants, and the suit projected them onto him.

Vince left his apartment and headed for the hospital. He hadn’t seen Sophia in a week, and worries circled his mind. She’d been admitted to a health center ten minutes away, so he walked. The pure white of the building jumped out among the dull gray of the city. The light inside was too bright for his eyes after the darkening gloom outside, enough perhaps to bring on one of his headaches.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Hey Vince.” The receptionist handed him a keycard with a smile. Even some of the staff had come to know him after so many visits.

“Hello. How are you?” Vince placed the keycard in his breast pocket.

“Same old,” the man said and slid a scanner over. "It will be an extra four hundred for the next six months. The artificial neurogenesis you discussed with Sophia's doctor."

"I just hope to see some results." Vince swiped his card over it and heard the Ding of doom. That was another month’s earnings gone, just like that.

"You're a good man for doing this," the cashier said. "I'm sure Sophia will appreciate all you've done once she's better."

Vince gave the man a bitter smile. "Thank you." He wished he could share that optimism, but after two years of treatment Sophia's condition had barely stabilized.

He waved the man goodbye and climbed the stairs to Sophia’s room. There were commercial prints on the hospital walls, tasteful in the dull kind of way. Above every door he passed was a large plastic sign, dark with white lettering- no fancy fonts, just bold and all-caps. It was so new and spotless he felt like the whole building was just a projection meant to fool the eyes. A nurse slipped out of Sophia’s room and saw him walking over.

"How is she?" Vince asked.

"Got her medication, so she's calm now," the nurse replied. There was an awkward silence. "She always asks for you, when she remembers."

A lump formed in his throat. "Now?" He asked. "Will she recognize me?"

The nurse shook her head. "I won’t give you false hope."

Vince simply nodded and let her tend to other patients. He stood facing the door, bracing himself to meet a stranger instead of a friend. His hands trembled as he used the keycard.

Sophia didn’t look his way. Her eyes were glued to a TV screen, where Vin’s recent battle was being replayed. Her hair was dark and cut short. So she won't hurt herself, the doctors had said. Even though she was his age her face was soft and her features fine, like a child's.

He walked inside and the door slid closed behind him. There was not a lot to the room besides the television, the bed and an armchair next to it. Bland and impersonal.

"Sophia?" He sat next to her.

"I already took my pills," she said without turning.

Vince’s heart sunk in his chest. "I'm not a doctor. Just a friend." He tried to hold her arm but she jerked it away, finally glaring at him. Her emerald eyes painted Vince with suspicion. There was a tinge of doubt and fear that cut deep inside him. That made him a stranger.

"I'm Vince. I'm an old friend here to see you." He spoke slowly, making it easier for her to follow.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She visibly relaxed. "I have this condition and I can't always remember things. You probably know already…"

"You don't need to apologize." Vince smiled at her.

When she had first been diagnosed, he was angry, refused to acknowledge it. He kept looking for parts of her that were not always there, pressuring her to speak thoughts she couldn't form. It took a long time for him to develop the patience she needed to interact.

"What are you watching?" Vince looked up at the screen.

"It's Twilight!" Sophia hugged her knees and raved like a child showing off a new toy.

"And who are all these people fighting?" He asked. Sophia's doctor had told him to push for conversation whenever he could; it helped exercise the brain.

"Do you live under a rock? It's the battle of Dusk. Look at how cool the black guys are!"

Ouch. He deserved that. "It seems very interesting. You said it's a game?"

"Of course it's interesting! It's an online game where you can go to a different world."

"Do you wish you could go?" He asked. "To a different world?"

The smile left her face and her knees slipped from her grasp. She knit her brows and seemed lost in thought for the longest time. Vince saw the glint of tears forming in her eyes. "Will you take me with you?"

A chill run down his spine. "Sophia?" He reached over and touched her.

Even if for a brief moment, she had remembered him. He could see it in her eyes. She wanted to connect, but the words floated in the air just beyond her grasp, unreachable. Her eyebrows knit together as she tried to hold onto that stray memory.

"I'll show it to you one day!" He took her hand in his and rushed the words out while they still held meaning. "I promise you!"

"You seem like a good friend." Sophia gave him a smile, soft and gentle. She was gone again, lost in the maze of her injured mind.

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face. The muscles of his chin trembled and he looked away, as if her absence could soothe him. A painful static surfaced in his head once more, a side effect of the constant fear and stress he lived with.

“Please don’t cry.” Sophia touched his shoulder. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, it’s not your fault.” Vince held back his tears and got up. He planted a quick kiss on her forehead and turned to leave. Being with her dug up a scar others couldn’t see. A scar of guilt etched deep inside.