I do not remember the time before darkness. There had to be something more, and yet all I know is darkness. Darkness and pain. Four walls, floor and nothing but me. For a very long time at least. There was a time before. When someone would come… to take me. That was when I still screamed for pain. That was when I still felt pain. After a while, a long long while, I stopped screaming. No matter where they cut, what they took, I was silent. It bothered them. They liked my screaming. But I lost my voice. Pain was still there. It was me who left. Closed my eyes. Floated away. Even when they cut off my eyelids and forced me to watch, I wasn’t really there. Sometimes they hurt me so much, healing was almost more painful than the actual hurting. No matter how quickly I healed it was too quick. They always came back. There were times when my body was so hurt, so damaged that I could only be healed when submerged into the healing bath. Simple drink of the healing liquid was not enough. But my body had enough.

My voice was lost. My soul was too far away to feel the pain. It was after that, that they changed the tactic. There was a specialist, as he called himself. He could look inside my soul. At least that’s how he called it. He had fun with me. Touched my head and took a walk in my mind. Tortured me in ways that were so much more painful. It’s odd, I remember the pain and how he tortured me. He used my memories against me again and again. And yet I do not remember the memories. But since he used my memories against me, that must mean I once had memories. I was left as a shell. There was nothing more left of me. I guess that’s when they stopped coming. At first it was a relief. No more pain. No more touching, cutting, no more fire or looking into my soul. I was simply left alone. I waited for death to come. I waited for so long. But nothing came. No one came. I was left alone. Not living and not dead. I stayed between four walls and the floor. Until I simply stopped. Stopped moving. Stopped thinking. Stopped being. I was nothing. I was in darkness that surrounded me. I stopped existing. And yet…

I am thinking. I am. Why now? Why am I thinking… Why am I aware? Why am I remembering… Nothing has changed and yet everything has. I looked around. After a complete and utter darkness I realized my eyes were closed. It was almost funny. So I opened my eyes to take a look. A noise escaped me. My eyes closed or open, it doesn’t really make a difference. It is the same. Suddenly I heard something. The oddest thing when in absolute silence you suddenly hear something. It was a voice. A male voice. A deep voice. A voice I didn’t know.

“Well hello little creature,” it said: “Why have you called me to this god forsaken, disgusting little dungeon?”

How odd. Was he talking to me? Surely not. I didn’t call anyone. I can’t call anyone. I lost my voice a long time ago. I don’t even remember how I sounded. How would I call anyone…

“Well? Say something.” Silence. My eyes were still open. I decided to turn my head and look for the source of the voice. It was odd turning my head. Now my body was making noise. Odd clicking noise as I turned my head left. Nothing there. So again I decided to turn my head in a different direction. To the right. More clicking noise. And yet, I saw nothing. Did I imagine the voice? There was a loud sigh. But it didn’t come from me.

“You can’t talk, can you? Why did you call me then? How did you call me?” I didn’t answer. But that was an answer enough for this strange, strange voice. Silence washed over us again. If there even is an us. Maybe I didn’t hear a voice. Did I?

“I set up an alarm in the house upstairs. They will come here. Looking for you. Maybe they can make you speak. Also stop calling me.”

I guess I only imagined it. After that, there was silence again. Nothing but me and darkness and silence.

How long did the silence last? I do not know. I think it wasn’t long. But how would I know? Everything in darkness takes forever and no time at all. But there it was again. Noise. Yelling. Far away. It was coming closer. So odd. Finally, it was so close. I wanted to turn my head more, but it was stuck. I opened my eyes only to be blinded as the door opened. Funny. I forgot there was a door there. How can you forget there is a door to your cell...

“Why is there a decomposing body in my basement?” A voice. A male voice. An angry voice. It is a good question. Where is that body? Is that why everything is so odd? Am I in a cell with a decomposing body?

“Sir, there is no record that this basement even existed... it is not one of ours, it has to be since before we took over...” A tiny voice. A mousy voice. Also male, but.. smaller. I wanted to open my eyes again to look at these two men arguing. I haven’t seen a man in so long. It hurt. To open my eyes. Somehow, someway I managed. There they were. Two shadows. How odd.

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“Sir...”

“Just stop talking you idiot and find what caused the stupid alarm. We can not afford this right now, with the guests!” He looked so mad. If shadow can actually be mad. It was like he wasn’t solid at all. His shape was changing with every word, getting more and more agitated. I wanted to scream not to leave me again. Please take me with you. I do not want to be alone!

There was a horrible noise again. Like bones breaking and rebreaking, crushing noises that made them both jump high in the air. But what made those noises? Only when the small one screamed; I realize my hand was extended.

“It moved, the corpse fucking moved!!!” I saw my hand. There, it was extended. I saw it. It did not look good. I think I had some fingers. But I don’t think I had them all. The hand was all wrong and twisted. How can it move? And yet, there it was waiting. My hand. Moving. Not dead.

There was more screaming. I tried to listen, but there was so much screaming from the small shadow and yelling from the big shadow. Finally, there was silence again.

“Check every record that is in the house. I mean every record, every book, every scrap of paper that was ever written about this house. Find me who this... this... creature is.”

“But it can’t be alive? That... just look at it!” I think a small one was pointing at me. I moved my arm again. I mean I did it once. How hard can it be? It took some time, but there it was. Noise of breaking bones. My arm was moving. Somehow I wanted to giggle. Fear emanating from the small shadow was intoxicating.

“I think it just answered your question.” Big shadow. Smart shadow. He had something in his hand. A little light? I couldn’t see. But there it was again, a flash. There was a word. I can’t remember the word. Camera. Yes. That’s the word. He had an odd looking camera in hands. He did something with the camera. I couldn’t see.

“Bring me my gun. With the bullets.” Big shadow got agitated quickly: “Of course the special bullets you idiot!” There was a sigh, and a murmur:

“I am surrounded by idiots!” Smaller shadow was gone. When did it leave? It doesn’t matter. Big shadow was coming closer. To me. To my extended hand. He extended his hand as well. Would he touch me? I guess not. His hand hovered above mine." I do not know who you are, you poor, poor creature and I cannot undo what was done to you.” I recognized the tone of his voice. Pity.

“I can tell you that we kille them all. When we came, years ago... we killed every single one who lived in the house.” Me, being so pathetic this shadow has to pity me. I wanted to yell, to scream. I do not deserve pity, I deserve to be admired. I am still alive. I survived everything they threw at me and more. And now this shadow thinks I deserved to be pitied.

“All I can do is release you from this prison. Forgive us. Truly, we are creatures who do not deserve to live among humans.” I barely heard him. The anger, the fury was overwhelming. I opened my mouth and tried to talk. And yet, there was nothing. Nothing came from my mouth. He moved, so quickly I barely noticed. There were more shadows at the entrance. Blocking the light. I wanted to yell more, tell them to move, do not block my light!

Big shadow was in front of me again. He had a gun. I recognized a gun. I remember guns. Guns are not as bad as wounds or pain go. It also depends on the gun. It enters your body, forces the meat apart. If you are lucky it exits the body and all you need is to fix the damage. It also depends where you are shot. Belly hurts a lot and does bad damage that takes long to heal. So many opportunities for infections. Now that is bad.

A gun was pointed at my head. I did not like head shots. It hurts so much and sometimes I lose something. Or I did. Maybe that’s how I lost my memory. Was I shot in the head too many times?

“Go little creature and be free.” Bam. I heard a gunshot. But there was no pain. That is odd. How is there no pain? I was shot before. There was always pain. But not now. Why was there no pain?

Something else happened. Everything stopped. Everyone stopped.

“So, what will you do, little one?” It was the voice from before. The invisible voice. Maybe I did not imagine it.

“Will you die? Or will you live?” I wanted to live. I did not survive all that darkness just to die in the light! There was laughter.

“Then live, little one. Be reborn. Shed that broken body and rise up!” Yes. I will do that. Somehow, someway I will. My body was dead. I knew that. I knew that from a long time ago. But I was not dead. Rise up. But how do you rise up? How do you leave your broken body behind and rise up?

There was noise again.

“It’s still moving! Shoot it again, it’s still alive!” So many shots. So much noise. But no pain. 

Rise up. Now that is a novel idea.