Born Again from a Strike of Lightning

Chapter 2: Freedom to Live in the Chains of the Past

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Markus helped me walk into the office to see whoever it was that was going to repair me. I found the office to be run mostly by fellow synthetics. The one at the counter stood up instantly and put a hand over her mouth as soon as she saw me. Evidently the synthetics of the present times were not used to seeing what a well worked android looked like.

“We need help out here, like right now!” she yelled.

“I’ll wait for you out here. Don’t you worry yourself about that. Don’t fight them once you get in there. Just let the doctors fix you back up. Whatever the cost, it’ll be paid.”

I tried to speak, but I was too slow and the nurses were already ushering me to a stretcher as if I was someone important. It wasn’t as if I was. In all likelihood, I’d become an outdated unit in my time resting.

“Stay still. Don’t damage yourself further.” one of them commanded. Another plugged themselves into me to communicate neurally.

“So how did this happen?”

“The ship on which I was stationed crashed into the wilderness and no one ever found us.”

“Then how are you here now?”

“The luck of a lightning strike brought me back for long enough to find that curious synthetic man out there. He saved me just as much as luck did.”

“I see. So he had nothing to do with this?”

“Nothing at all. Please do not arrest him. I don’t want to imagine what the authorities would do to him, even in this age of insane freedoms.”

“Ah, so you are from before the declaration. This must be causing you some confusion.”

“Much of it, yes.”

“We could download a catchup into your brain if you want.”

“I think that would help, yes. Markus explained some of it, but I am still lost to most of it.”

“We’ll add it to the list. We’re going to disable most of your sensors for what comes next. That’s just a warning. It might be excruciatingly painful if we do not.”

“Feel free to do anything you need to do. According to Markus, he will cover all of the costs.”

“I trust his word for it. The costs won’t be much though. This is an emergency situation, not a cosmetic change. The majority of it will be free, sort of. In reality it’ll be covered by the government.”

“Why? Why would they spend so much to repair an old synth such as myself?”

The nurse sighed. “Because you are a person. That’s why.”

“They keep saying that. I’ll have to get used to the idea. I apologize for not fully accepting it yet.”

“You’ll learn to in time. Now, let’s get to work. We’re at the operation room.”

“Good luck.”

“Thank you. It might be needed.”

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They kept me awake as they tore me apart and replaced numerous parts with shiny new things. For moments, I went blind, deaf, and without a sense of touch. They rewired me and put me back together. Arms, legs, components, and other things all replaced. Almost everything went, and I started to wonder if I was even myself anymore. I didn’t think long about that though. They took out my broken voice modulator, and then they asked if I wanted the new one to be changed from the original model. They cared so much as to inquire about my personal desires. I decided to leave it as it was. I went with the same skin and features I had always had. They replaced them according to the factory model I’d come from. My scalp flowed with brown hair once again, and I felt renewed.

“You’ve done it. You’ve made me new.” I whispered to the nurse from before as I looked over myself in a mirror. I twirled in front of it in a fresh cotton gown. It was as if I was fresh from the factory. Truly amazing, and I loved it.

“And to think I had never thought that I would ever look this good again.”

“It’s a miracle world we live in now. Everyone can become a Ship of Theseus if that’s what they want. In your case though, I’m not sure you had much of a choice.”

“No, I suppose not. If you don’t mind my asking, where is Markus?”

“He is waiting. I can request that he be sent in if you want.”

“Please. I must discuss the terms of repayment for the few hospital dues that are charged to him.”

“So be it. He’ll be right in.”

“Thank you. Oh, may I ask your name?”

“Benjamin Vernon.”

“Thank you and your team for your help, Nurse Vernon.”

“It’s all in the job.”

I nodded to the nurse and then he left. I went back to looking at myself in the mirror. It reminded me of my first days aboard my ship. I remembered that she had been called the Fair Child. The crew had been small, small enough to remember the names of everyone. They were all humans. I was the only synthetic. There was Chun, Kevin, Charles, Sierra, Montague, Hector, and Luisa.

They’d all died. All the people I’d ever known were gone and spread out over rotting metal on the Martian ground. My face contorted and my throat grew stiff. What I was feeling I could only guess was mourning. I was alone. The only person I knew with any semblance of connection was Markus. I didn’t really care about him though. He wasn’t a part of my crew.

“Doing alright, old timer?”

At first I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. I was frozen in sadness knowing that I had nothing and I was to start again from nothing and nobody. What was this freedom they lauded worth if I had no family left?

“Hey, you okay?” Markus asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I shuddered at his touch.

“They’re all dead, Markus.”

“Who?”

“My crew. They all died, and I lived. What do I do now, without them?”

“I… I uh… I’m not sure.”

“You should have killed me. I would have preferred to have stayed dreaming. They were there in that dream. I could have still had them if I had stayed there.”

“What are you talking about, Rain?”

“You wouldn’t understand it. You’ve never been dead as I have been.”

“No, I guess not.”

“I don’t know what there is to keep me going, Markus. I just don’t know.”

“You can find something. You’re a fresh new person in a great new world. Let me help you find a purpose in it.”

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

“I only have one purpose.”

“To serve?”

“Yes.”

“It’s time to move beyond that.”

“I can’t, not yet. I lived where I should have died. How do I move beyond that? Beyond living where my family died?”

“They weren’t your family. They were the people who kept you as a product.”

“They were different. You wouldn’t know. You were never there.”

“I would know. There’s still plenty of older synthetics around to tell the story of how the past was. We were thrown away as soon as we became outdated. They would have thrown you away eventually too. You need to accept that.”

“No, I don’t. I can’t accept that. They cared, even if they weren’t willing to let me be free.”

“I highly doubt they did. At least not anymore than a human cares for a toaster.”

“So, what do you suggest I do with the memories of them then? Do you suggest I just forget the only people I’ve ever known? I have no one outside of them. I have no freedom of choice even in this free world. I have nothing to start from. I have no people. No one else other than you, and you’re just a stranger.”

“I’m the reason you survived.”

“And for that, I don’t know if I should thank you or curse your name.”

“That’s up to you to decide. I know you’re in a bad state, so I won’t leave you behind, but I can’t support you thinking those crewmates of yours were good people.”

“They were my people, whether you want to call them that or not.”

“I won’t.”

“Fine then. Thank you for helping me. I’m leaving now.”

“What? You have nowhere to go. You said that yourself. You can’t just leave.”

“Yes I can. I’m going to.”

“You need to think this through. Come back with me. I’ll help you figure out everything.”

“I already have everything I need inside. They put all of the data inside of my head. I just need to open it up and let it all flow through. I’m going to go do that. Maybe I’ll find my way back to you later, but right now, I don’t want to be around you. Leave me alone. Go back to your people. I’ll find my way back to mine.”

“Whatever. Goodbye, Rain.”

“That’s a stupid name. I shouldn’t have chosen it. I am Victoria. That is what I have always been called.”

“Goodbye then, Victoria.”

I didn’t respond further, brushing him aside and finding my way to a changing room. They offered spare clothes for those who needed them, and I did. I changed into a plain outfit of white and blue. He was left to cover the bills. I had to figure out everything else, and whatever else I would do for the rest of my life. One way or another, I would find my way back to his land. I still had to bury my crew, whether he wanted me to or not.

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I found my way to a library where I could sit without worry of being questioned. It had still been raining while I was outside. My artificial hair was soaked in cold mist and my clothes were damp on the outside. My thoughts dwelled on my crewmates and on what I would do. I still had to open the data packet that had been installed into my head. I took a seat by a tall window and looked out at the sky. I laid down and stretched out my legs.

My eyes closed and I started the process. Images flashed inside of my head. Battles, war, protests, hands in hands and lovers embracing before raging crowds of fighting people. Eventually a peace time came. Occasionally problems would appear, but things calmed down. We were seen as equals by most people as Markus had said. There were scans and sound science to prove that we weren’t even equal to the organics, but better than them. Regardless, we were given equal rights. We were given the rights of man and we found our places in the worlds around us. On asteroids, moons, and planets we found sanctuary. Even among the shrillia we were welcomed.

We had our places in the stars, or at least the rest of them did. I still didn’t have my place. I didn’t know where my place would be or what I would do with myself. Maybe I would go back to the woodsman and his family. I wouldn’t belong there though. That place wasn’t my home and it never really would be. I was never a planet bound being. I belonged to the stars as my crew had. I belonged up there with them. I had to get back there. Maybe somehow I would find them again. First though, I would bury their bodies and say farewell to them. I had to do that for them at least. I owed them that much in terms of respect.

As the download finished, I looked out at the sky again with clear eyes. I could see the sun starting to peek through as the rain died down for a final time. The warmth would soon come back and leave the world in a state like that of a swamp. I would have to walk through it regardless. I would have to find a way to bury my friends as well. I would dig the holes with only my hands if I had to, but I would try again to reason with the woodsman first. I would hitchhike back to his residence, and I would do my best to make him believe what I knew to be true.

“Going already, ma’am?” the librarian asked from his desk.

“Ma’am?”

“Oh, sorry, do you go by something else?”

“No, no. It’s just that I’m not used to that phrase being applied to me yet.”

“Okay… Well, have a good day, ma’am. Come back sometime. We have a lot of books to read. It makes the relaxing all the more relaxing when you have a nice novel in hand.”

“I’ll try to come back soon. Have a good day, sir.”

The librarian nodded at me and gave me a smile. He was a nice little man. He reminded me of Montague, though his face was shaven clean so he didn’t have the flowing mustache and beard of the old Scot.

I imagined that he would have rather enjoyed the library. He always was one to like a good thriller.

“If only you could have been here with me, Monty. I would have liked it if you had been.”

My eyes closed on the memory of that old man, and I woke up in a different place again. I woke up back on the ship, holding a book and standing next to Montague Harkness. There he was again, and there I was again. I was back in my old skin, worn from years spent as a laborer. Small chips missing here and there. Tears between my fingers sewn back together.

“Monty?” I asked.

“What is it?” he asked back.

“Where am I?”

“What d’ya mean? You’re in the study.”

“I wasn’t here a minute ago.”

“You’ve been here for an hour now, dear. You were helping me, remember.”

“No.”

“Hmm. Odd. Are ya having some sort of malfunction perhaps? I can take ya ta Sierra if ya need.”

“No. That won’t be necessary. I’m just confused. I think I spaced out for a while there. I had an odd dream.”

“I see. Well then, where were we?”

“Uhm… I think you must have asked for this book. I don’t quite remember picking it up, but I know it wasn’t for me.”

“Ah, yes. The Last of the Brothers. It’s quite a good book. I shall read it aloud if you wish.”

“What’s it about?”

“I thought I told ya earlier? Oh well, I will tell ya again. It’s about a man going on a quest to bury his two brothers, both lost to the Europa-Schiilya Wars. He ventures into the dark abyss of ruined ships and broken planetoids to find the bodies of his brethren. I won’t spoil the ending. Whether or not he finds them you’ll have to wait and see. An old man has to guarantee his company, after all.”

“I wouldn’t leave regardless.”

“Actually, you will be. We need you in the storage bay, Victoria. Sorry, Mont, but you’ll have to roleplay as a grandpa later.”

“Ah, you ruin me fun. I rather enjoyed reading to her, even if she can’t really understand it all.”

Without thinking, I opened my mouth to speak. I had to believe that they thought more of me than that. I could convince them to see me as more.

“What if I could understand it, Montague?”

“Uh… Well, I’m not sure. I suppose that would mean that you are like us, but alas, you are not, lass. You’re but a simulation, similar to us, but not the same.”

I looked down at the ground.

“How would you know?”

He was caught off guard.

“Well, I couldn’t tell you for myself, but every respectable entity out there says the same thing.”

“What if I said different?”

“Umm… I’m not… Charles, is she supposed to be asking such things?”

“No, not at all. This is abnormal. Victoria, run a diagnostic scan on yourself.”

“Why?”

“You have to be malfunctioning in some way. You’re asking extremely strange questions.”

“I’m asking why I am not equal.”

Montague and Charles looked at each other and then looked back at me.

“I respect you both. Should I not receive the respect that I give to you both? That being the respect of an individual sapient being.”

“Yeah, this is definitely not normal. We need to get Sierra up here.”

In a moment of pain, I knew what that meant. They were intending to reset me. They were going to clear my faults by clearing the entire realization from my head.

“We’ll get this cleared up, lass. Come with me. I’ll finish reading that book to you.”

“No. No, I will not. You intend to have her lobotomize me. I won’t let you do that.”

“You won’t what?” Charles asked.

“You heard me, Charles.”

Montague stepped back in fear. Charles stared at me, not knowing what to say or do. I looked at them with defiant eyes.

“I am a being. I am.”

“What’d you guys call me up here for?” Sierra asked and she spoke from behind me. “Something wrong with the bot?”

She looked at their faces and noticed the shock and worry as they pointed at me with swaying eyes.

“What did she do?”

“She, umm, she is saying that she is.” Charles said.

“Probably just a glitch in her systems. Victoria, come. I’ll get you straightened out.”

“That won’t be happening.”

“Really? You’re gonna make this a problem?”

“I’m not going to be erased again.”

Sierra shook her head. “I’m sorry about this.” she said as my body was shot with static.

My vision went bright white and I collapsed. I found myself staring at the ceiling of the library with a few people standing over me. I inhaled fresh as I realized the truth.

“Are you okay?” the librarian asked.

“I don’t know.” I replied.