𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒯𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒

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Anger is a funny thing. A dangerous thing. A terrible thing. It makes people lash out, brings out something in people that they almost shouldn't be capable of. Anger makes people do things. It makes them get back at those who wronged them in the most cruel of ways.

Controlling your anger can be among the most valuable of skills. Finding healthy ways to expel your anger, not to let it fester and build. To not let yourself snap.

Control.

Iris would admit that she lacked control over her anger. It came too easy to her. Too quickly. And she knew how to get back at people. How to ruin them, even if just for a moment. She knew what words to say, the right words to tear apart a person from inside out. To scare them into submission. To push them to the brink of lashing out right back at her, making them become just as harsh as her.

Honestly... it would almost be better if Iris would just take up fighting. A punch perhaps less cruel than the words she could create.

But whether through words or through a punch. The cruelest of paybacks, of reactions... tend to come from the silent actions.

Which is why that morning, still fresh off the anger from the night before... Iris packed her bag and left without a word.

Only to Sally-Ann's, they had been planning the sleepover for weeks... but of course, Remus didn't know that.

A silent action... a reaction caused by anger. Remus would wake to find Iris and a few of her belongings gone... and coming fresh off the words left for him the night before... The panic he would experience upon waking up was incredibly cold... cruel.

Iris Blackwell knew how to hurt people.

~~~~~~

As her friends arrived one by one, Sally-Ann took notice of the lack of energy in each and every one of them. Tracey fresh off a long vacation in Paris. Jane fresh off a fight with her family. Iris… just distant.

She could at least count on Valeria to be normal, but still, with most of the group out of commission… a day in was definitely the play.

So with Sally's parents off at some wedding for the next few days and her brother at a friend's for the night… the girls took over the living room.

And Iris would admit to most of that day being one big blur. Her attention not really quite there. She would be pulled in from time to time, making brief notice of what she was doing… but mostly one big blur. And if any of her friends had taken note of it… they had the courtesy to just let it slide.

And by the time the sun was long gone… well, Iris just laid on the couch, gaze on the television. Only vaguely aware of the conversation from her friends.

"Okay, Iris, you have to break the tie. Is Roger attractive, yes or no?"

Iris blinked herself back to reality. Glancing at Jane and then back to the television. Only then seemed to realize what she had been watching for the past few minutes. 101 Dalmatians, Roger being the owner of one of the dogs in the movie.

Thinking it over for a second, Iris watched as Roger started singing the melody to the movie's very own villain song, and narrowing her eyes, she nodded a bit, "He is one of those guys you come around to."

Sally laughed aloud, "What does that even mean?"

Shrugging as she watched the scene on the screen unfold; Iris elaborated, "He isn't attractive in the way that you take immediate notice. But as you get to know him, your perspective of him shifts, you take notice and start to find him attractive," she paused. "He has attitude, sings, and dances… I would marry him."

Tracey and Jane both cheered, taking it as a win for their side.

On the other hand, Sally and Valeria scowled, the two of them turning their attention to the tv as they scrutinized the man in question.

Iris was about to return to her daze when Sally shouted out, scrambling to pause the movie, "Holy shit! Roger looks like Nott!"

Iris shot up, her face scrunching as she stared at Sally-Ann as if she had three heads, "Theodore?"

Sally nodded harshly, excitedly pointing to the screen with a laugh, "Obviously less cartoonishly, and Nott isn't blond. But I swear, that right there is Theodore Nott."

Everyone in the room looked to the man on screen, making their own comparisons. Valeria, the first to come around, "Theodore does dress exactly like that. The sweater vest and trousers make it really easy to see." She looked over to Iris in question, "And Theodore is fairly tall and lanky, right?"

Iris pulled a face, "Why ask me? I've never cared to notice how tall Theo is." She turned her gaze to Tracey, "Ask the one who was obsessed with him for two years."

Tracey shot Iris a bitter look right back, "I was not obsessed with him," but still, she answered the question. "He was at least as tall as Iris by the end of the school year, though."

Valeria nodded to herself, "Settles it then. Roger is Theodore Nott. And it proves that Tracey really does have a type."

Tracey pouted, "Jane also said he was attractive. And Iris said she would marry him. Don't just focus on me here."

Sally nudged Iris, sending her a smirk, "Don't tell us that Nott is going to steal the heart of another one of us."

Iris cringed back at the thought, glaring at Sally, "Theodore can't sing… and I am not calling him tall until he is taller than me." Her eyes flicked back to the tv as she plopped back against the couch, glaring at the character on screen, "And you officially ruined this movie for me."

~~~~~~

The next morning seemed better for the teens; mostly, everyone rejuvenated after the day in. The only outlier being Iris, who, while definitely much more present than she was the day before, still didn't seem entirely there. But as with before, if anyone noticed, no one made word of it.

So as everyone prepared for their morning, they chatted endlessly, throwing out ideas for what to do. The group seemed set on London but was a bit lost on what to actually do when there. Well… until Jane let slip that there would be a ball. Why? Well, no one seemed to care. All that mattered was that they needed to go shopping immediately, being as once back at school, this would be much more difficult.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

And so, Iris was unintentionally subjected to another day of dress shopping. She and Jane both subjected to just being there to give opinions, their plans for dresses outside the range of anything they would find in a shop.

Dress shopping in a group can be among the best of experiences. Spending hours just being a circle of opinions and positivity. Having the extra eyes to help pick colors, fit, neckline. Giving the confidence to wear that dress you love but scare yourself away from.

Normally Iris would have been all for it. But as she and Jane sat off to the side, she found her attention more so out the window than anywhere else.

"What are you looking at?"

Iris's gaze remained firmly locked outside, her voice bland, "Those boys across the street at the ice cream parlor."

Jane spotted them, taking notice of how they kept glancing over, "What are they talking about?"

She stayed quiet for a moment but ultimately shared what she was listening to with Jane, "They are ranking how each dress looks."

The reaction was instant, Jane's eyes flying to her friends and then to the boys, a look crossing her face, "That is—"

"Revolting," Iris beat her to the word, eyes still on the boys as they laughed to themselves.

Jane moved her attention to Iris. A frown overtook her. Everyone had noticed how Iris had been acting, the lack of energy about her. How distracted with her own mind she seemed. And maybe it was best to just leave Iris to sort through her emotions, easier to not potentially provoke her… but Jane could only sit and watch for so long. Could only go so long without at the very least asking once.

"Are you okay?"

Iris didn't react, not in any way that showed at least. But to be fair, she could hear Jane building up to the question all morning. Iris was perfectly aware that her friends had noticed her behavior. She knew the question would pop in at least once.

But all she could do was shrug, "Haven't decided yet." Then, she sighed, looking to Jane, "Just a lot on my mind."

Jane nodded, her smile faltering for a split second, "I understand, I really do. Just don't let everything sit for too long… the longer emotions sit, the more intense they seem to grow. The more they grow—"

"The more catastrophic the damage is…." Iris diverted her attention back to the window, "My father used to say something similar."

Jane smiled, looking back at the girls who were trying another set of dresses, "Also, best to get everything in order before the Quidditch World Cup. When we all go, Sally and Valeria won't take anything less than a perfect weekend." She nodded to herself, "Off with their heads for anyone who so much as frowns."

And there it was… a smile from Iris, "I will sooner cut off my own head than actually enjoy a game of Quidditch."

~~~~~~

4:29 pm.

That was when Iris returned through that green fire. Immediately meeting the bloodshot eyes of Remus Lupin.

A certain relief seemed to come over him upon Iris stepping out of that fire. A relief that had him standing from his seat, no doubt ready to rush over, take the teen into a crushing hug, and apologize for what he would have convinced himself were all that had caused her to leave.

But he was stopped before he could make a single move. A simple shake of her head was all she needed to do, all that she needed to get him to sit right back down.

Iris dropped her bag, then leaned herself against the fireplace, her shoulders falling, her eyes tired… exhausted even. But she still forced herself to take in the scene before her. The pictures strewn about the coffee table… the pictures she had gifted him for Christmas. The half-empty glass of a golden liquid… a simple sniff of the air would tell Iris alcohol. The disheveled appearance of Remus… messy hair, prominent worry lines… those bloodshot eyes.

Averting her eyes for a moment, Iris sighed, then she forced herself to meet those eyes once more. Facing the pain, she had brought onto him… "While out with the girls today, I counted every time a man or a boy our age made a comment about one of us. Whether just in their head or really aloud to someone else…."

Remus straightened up, a seriousness falling over him, no doubt already expecting a number. No doubt, feeling anger on behalf of Iris for what she had to hear.

"Eighteen." Iris smiled bitterly, "Eighteen different men. And I was only counting what I considered dangerous… revolting. One older guy would have definitely tried something if there weren't others around."

Remus opened his mouth, but Iris again stopped him with a shake of her head, "Your worry is justified. You are right to want to set a curfew. You are right to want to know where I am. The world for anyone is… dangerous. And being who I am… there is an extra layer of danger. Targets on my back. Some who do know I am alive and could still be looking."

Iris pushed off the fireplace, rolling her shoulders as she straightened her stance, "But I also lived alone for two years. And I can read minds. And I don't have some trace on me to prevent me from using magic at any moment." Iris took a few steps forward, sitting on the arm of an armchair, "I can hear someone coming from a mile away. I don't just go stomping around London defenseless and reckless. I can take care of myself.

"If it weren't for Dumbledore reaching out… I would still be living on my own. Going about life my way. Doing as I damn well, please. Something I didn't get anything close to when I was little." Iris took in a breath, "I had a lot of rules as princess… a lot of people and rules restricting my life. It is just… I get defensive when told what to do."

She quieted, her eyes trailing off once more. Settling onto the floor. Now it was Remus' turn to watch her. To take in the bags under eyes… sleepless nights. The way she refused to look at him… something still on her mind, words she held back. Remus took a breath, "It was wrong of me to bring up Leo as I did. To imply that him taking off with you to the cabin was recklessness or stupid."

Iris didn't look up, but she listened, "Leo was among the most capable people I knew. He had taken you out on his own plenty of times. He had your location kept a secret. Only a handful of people knew where you two had even gone. And he could have gone down with a fight… his death wasn't a result of being reckless. It was out of prioritizing and guaranteeing that you were okay.

"I never should have thrown him in your face like that…."

Remus trailed off. The air going still. The room quiet.

Iris was building herself up again. Gathering her thoughts. Forming the words she needs. And Remus was waiting, watching, worry returning. Worry for the worries of the girl before him.

Taking in the deepest of breaths and letting her eyes fall closed, Iris let it out, "I am terrified to see Ryker."

Remus tried to speak up, "You might—"

But of course, he was interrupted, her eyes flying open, her fists clenching as it started to really come out. Iris, already fully aware, "Might not have to. I know, but then I feel horrible that I might not see him."

Unclenching her fists, Iris clasped her hands together, her eyes moving over to Remus, "You know Ryker's father, Hayden, died in April of 1992?" Remus tentatively nodded, "The reason was left out of the papers, which, if you know how it works, just really makes it all the more obvious. Health-related, my guess would be deteriorated health from having to step up and pick up the pieces after my father died. Perhaps stress related.

"Ryker would have been 14. He faced that alone. And not only that, but he was named my unofficial second the moment I was born, so when Hayden died, he was suddenly the face of the Royal Crest. And when he turned 16 last year, he would have been pushed into a more official leadership role."

Iris's hands squeezed together tighter as her face went blank, the only emotion she would allow herself to show in any viable way in that tight squeeze, "If I saw him again. If I had to look him in the eyes… I would have to go back. I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes and let him continue to live my nightmare… And that terrifies me… because…."

She released her hands, letting them sit on her lap, "I just want to continue being selfish."

Her eyes moved away, giving herself a moment to breathe and giving Remus a moment to process. To take in just how deep of a hole Iris was lost in. How many different emotions and thoughts she had been drowning in. Keeping in.

"I am a horrible person…."

Remus snapped back to attention, watching as Iris stood, pacing a few steps as she grabbed at her shirt. Her voice cold, "What I am doing by staying hidden away. What I said to you the other night. Leaving with no word like I did yesterday. Leaving you to sit here and probably imagine the worst."

Iris stopped pacing, taking a step towards Remus and then stopping herself. Her eyes blinking away any building moisture, "I didn't mean it. You are practically the only family I have. I am just a horrible person. I just wanted to hurt you… I just…" her breathing began failing her. She sighed at herself in frustration, gripping her shirt tighter as she forced through the words.

"I am sorry… I, I am… so… sorry."

Remus pulled her into his arms, having left his spot on the couch to rush to the girl before him. Taking her into his embrace as tight as he could. Trying to express as much as he could, that no matter what, he still loved her. That he forgave her. That she was just as much his family as him hers.

And Iris was forced to freeze for a moment. The feeling of this unfamiliar after so many years. But with time, she settled into the embrace. Wrapping her own arms around him and gaining control of her shallow breaths once more.

And they stood there. Tears building in Remus' eyes and a peace of mind returned to Iris. Just stood there… the first real, heartfelt hug either of them had had for a very long time.