𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒯𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓎-𝒯𝓌𝑜
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Life has an extraordinary way of becoming monotonous… of allowing you to just flow with the passage of time. Each day as perfectly dull as the last… each and every day outstandingly forgetful. It sweeps you up, and at some point, whilst on the flow of time… you begin to lose yourself. And at some point, you catch yourself. Time comes to a halt and forces you to take a look around. Lost, confused as to where you stand. Lost on what the hell you are doing.
And so you have to take a step back. Watch. And then correct. Regain yourself from all the wasted time spent on just being lost in the flow.
~~~~~~
Iris’s finger slowly circled the rim of her glass, her eyes glazed over as she watched Valeria swirl the worryingly bright green tea. The movement picked up the smell, making Iris’s nose scrunch, “Did you really have to bring it to breakfast?”
Taking a bite of toast as her eyes briefly lifted from her textbook, Valeria gave a quick nod, “Exams are coming up. I couldn’t just sit around wasting time while waiting on Tracey to finally leave the bathroom. I need to eat, and I need to study. She can drink it here.”
Sally-Ann rolled her eyes, “Still wish you would try a new method already. Whatever you make that tea with can’t really be doing anything good.”
Narrowing her eyes at Sally-Ann, “My mother specifically stated that the tea is the most important part and to hold it to the utmost importance.”
“Still, Tracey has been taking forever in the bathroom all week. And it has to be because she is hiding from,” Sally pointed, gazing at the tea, disgust washing over her face, “that.”
Brushing her off, Valeria didn’t look up from reading, “Just wait, by the end of term. Tracey will be a changed woman.”
Iris watched curiously as the two girls in front of her bickered back and forth. She watched as Jane sat to join them, flashing Iris a complimentary smile before butting into the conversation. She watched as they bickered, shoved, laughed…
The three girls sitting before Iris were a part of a unit. A unit of four when you included Tracey Davis… and more often than naught, Iris found herself on the outside. A watcher as they laughed at their inside jokes and as they so casually just existed around one another. Their unit was so long-running, so familiar, so comfortable… that it felt impossible to be a part of.
But speaking of Tracey Davis, she finally decided to make an appearance, and Iris immediately found her eyes switching over to her, finger still circling her glass. Eyes glazed over as she watched the girl stride into the room…
Stride?
Iris seemed to wake up from her stupor, hand pulling back from her glass as her eyes went wide, following Tracey as she walked towards the Slytherin table, “Holy shit.”
Her behavior caught the attention of the still giggling girls before her. The three turned to find what had caused Iris such a shock. Faces confused as they spotted Tracey… just as she walked straight by them, not even sparing them a glance. Her shoulders set back and her head high while she just looked forward.
Iris was quick to answer the growing questions as the four watched their friend make her way down the table, “She is asking him out for Hogsmeade on Saturday.”
Sally-Ann and Jane both shot their heads towards Iris, their mouths falling open. Valeria, on the other hand, smiled wildly, “I told you the tea would work. I fixed her!”
Looking at Valeria as if she were mad, Sally quickly corrected her, “No, your tea broke her.” Sally turned back to watch as their friend neared the esteemed Theodore Nott, “She’d rather face the worst rejection of her life than so much as take another look at that thing.”
Together the four girls watched with bated breaths. Watched as Tracey caught his attention, nervously shifting her weight when he looked up at her blankly. Watched as Tracey took a deep breath, sending the boy a smile as he pushed aside his book.
It was then when Jane tapped out, placing her head into her hands, “Oh, I can’t watch. He is gonna crush her heart.”
So then, down to just an audience of three, they continued to watch, eyes all firmly locked on Tracey as… finally, the words fell out.
Valeria’s eyes fell as a silence seemingly settled between Tracey and Theodore, unable to watch as she nervously distracted herself with reading.
And so the final two sets of eyes remained locked onto Tracey Davis, her confidence fading away quickly as the seconds dragged on. Theodore Nott just looked at her until he didn’t.
Iris blinked, her shoulders falling as she forced her gaze away and to the table before her. Eyes wide as Sally-Ann kept watching.
Tracey’s face stayed perfectly blank, nonchalant as she sent Theodore a nod before hurrying back over to the girls. Letting out a breath as she sat down in silence, Sally’s attention still locked on her, expectantly. Awaiting the news.
And after another moment, it came.
“He said yes….”
Valeria and Jane jolted, smiling wide to their friend as Sally cheered her on. Tracey’s own smile followed suit, joining in on her own exciting news.
And Iris… Iris again just found herself watching. Watched as the unit before her celebrated in the victory of a friend, a much-needed victory of a friend.
But as she watched, Iris found her gaze drifting, only for a second. Going as quick as it came. But it happened nonetheless.
For the first time in a long while, Iris found her eyes landing on Theodore Nott. This time much… softer than the last.
~~~~~~
Iris found herself walking to History of Magic alone later that day, leaving behind her talkative roommates. Not wanting to hear another word that has anything to do with Theodore Nott.
But it only left her open to yet another growing problem, something she had found herself so easily getting lost into the flow with… but had found herself waking from.
Cedric Diggory joined Iris at about halfway on her journey from Transfiguration to History of Magic, and once more, Iris just found herself watching.
Watching as he grabbed for her bag, shouldering it effortlessly. Watched as he glanced at her hand between words, clearly wanting with everything in him to make a grab for it. Watched with glazed-over eyes as he went about talking, walking her to her next class as if it was the most easy thing to do. The most obvious.
Iris was hardly paying attention to a word that left his mouth, and so she had not even really realized she was cutting him off, “Want to skip class?”
She had stopped walking, taking the boy by surprise as he had to jerk to keep from crashing into an incoming student. Sending a few annoyed peers a smile as he and Iris stood in the middle of the hallway, he seemed to consider the answer. And then nodded, “We are just doing the essay in Charms today… so yeah. I could skip.”
Iris nodded… just a nod as she turned on her heel. Making her way back down the hall in a hurry, weaving through the crowd of students still finding their way to their next class. The chatter of the halls filled in for the silence that lingered between Iris and Cedric.
Now was Cedric’s turn to watch, something clearly on her mind. A decision was made somewhere inside her… something that Cedric grew increasingly nervous about as the two entered a quieter part of the castle.
And once more, Cedric had to come to an immediate stop to match that of his companion. Once more, turning to meet her eyes. And facing it like a champ, he gave her a weak smile, mentally preparing himself for what was about to come.
Iris crossed her arms, letting out a sigh as she looked up to Diggory, “I’m sorry.”
Shifting his weight, Cedric shook his head, “You don’t have to be sorry for anything.”
“But I do. I should have ended it two weeks ago when I first started noticing the signs. At least given you a few more days to make new plans for Hogsmeade.”
Cedric sighed, moving to the wall, dropping his and Iris’s bags, before taking a seat himself. He motioned to the spot beside him, which Iris took. Leaning her back against the cool stone of the wall as her legs stretched in front of her.
One small question left Cedric’s lips, “Why?”
The hall was dark, somewhere within the inner parts of the castle, void of windows. Only making it seem emptier than it already was. There were no doors, no tapestries, not even any of the funny pictures that seemed to contain a form of conscience.
Iris hummed as she considered the question for a long moment, but as always, the words did eventually find her. “I have an unfair advantage of being in your head… I noticed that you were getting serious about me before you did,” she sent him a small smile in apology. But Cedric just nodded, never really bothered by her abilities.
“You think about me as if your thoughts somehow have this rose-colored filter on them. You walk me to class even though yours is in the opposite direction, and you have to run to make it on time. You have internal debates over holding my hand. Your head explodes into fireworks when we kiss….” Iris paused, considering her following words.
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“You see a future of me at your games wearing your jersey…. A real couple, me your girlfriend. Our relationship solid and real.”
He could only nod, take it as all of his thoughts came out into the air. Every person’s nightmare. Not only being heard by the one they would rather keep those thoughts from… but having them spoken by that person. It was embarrassing in a way, especially when…
“I don’t have those thoughts.”
Cedric flinched back, looking to the side as the words hit him. He knew it… of course he did… but it is still difficult to really face.
Iris laughed lightly to herself, “I don’t share any of those thoughts… I think nothing but of how annoyingly attractive you are… and you deserve more than that. You deserve someone who looks at you like you look at me. Someone who is nervous about that first kiss and anticipates every date… and who wants to be wearing that jersey.
“I think I held off because, honestly, part of me wishes I felt that spark. That you, this perfect sweet guy, would just eventually win over my heart, not just my head… but it just hasn’t come. You are a perfect guy Cedric Diggory, and someone is gonna be so lucky to be the love of your life….” Iris frowned, “but you just aren’t my perfect guy.
“And I am not your perfect girl… I can’t open up to you or be with you in the way you deserve from someone.”
Iris quieted, allowing Cedric to process it all as they returned to that quiet between them.
And moments later, the break would come, in the form of a sad smile and one lone word, “Friends?”
Forcing herself up, Iris grabbed her bag, nodding at Cedric as she did, “Of course, I need someone to teach me to ride a broom, don’t I?”
Iris hesitated as she sent him one last smile before leaving him to deal with the emotions that only come from heartbreak. Something that Iris, perhaps selfishly, didn’t have the will to sit through.
It was turning into a long and eventful day… and it still wasn’t over.
~~~~~~
Without even bothering to knock, Iris yet again found herself walking into Remus Lupin’s office, the man as always at his desk. Spending his free period doing as he always did, working.
Or, as Iris would learn as she glanced over the parchment before him as she took her seat, for once he was not working…
“What is that?”
That was very clearly a map. The lines form a floorplan, each room labeled. A Hogwarts map if the Charms Room or Ravenclaw Dorm labels were not making it obvious. But the curious thing about it was the footsteps, multiple, at least a hundred, all labeled and… moving. Or at least some moving. Many were stationary, the names of students who would be in class.
As if just realizing Iris was there, Remus looked up, shocked, “Oh, shouldn’t you be in class?”
Iris shrugged, “Just told Diggory that I am not serious about him, can’t date anymore,” she brushed aside the topic quickly, not even allowing Remus to process it. “Now, what is that?”
Blinking, his tired eyes glanced back down to the parchment, “Did your father ever tell you about the Marauders Map?”
Eyes going wide with except, Iris leaned over the desk, trailing over the paper, taking it all in. “He told me a bit, how you went to him for advice sometime in his fourth year… and how you and James all but forced him to add his name when you finished it two years later.”
Tenderly, Remus closed the map, tapping his wand to it with a “Mischief Managed” before handing it off to Iris, who took it gently with a smile. Eyes dancing over the blank parchment.
Taking out her want with her signature twirl, Iris tapped the parchment, “Open.” Not even the slightest bit off-put when five lines appeared, scattered about the blank page.
Raising an eyebrow to Remus, she read one-off, “Messer Moony would encourage Miss Blackwell to not mess around and just use the correct words. How fun, even the teenage you that is locked inside this parchment is mothering me.” Remus smiled wide as he watched the girl before him interact with the paper.
Smiling down to the parchment, Iris did linger for a moment over one name in particular before tapping it again, and somewhat exaggerated, she said the magic words, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
The parchment slowly filled in with black ink, the front page making its grand introduction in only the most obvious of ways.
Messers. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
In accordance with The Marquess of Tolstoy
are proud to present
The Marauder’s Map
"The Marquess of Tolstoy?" Iris's head tilted, eyes locked on the line.
Remus smiled, mind wandering back to old memories, "We liked nicknames, and while none of ours stuck for long until James, Sirius, and Peter became animagus, Leo's stuck when Sirius saw him reading War and Peace in our second year. The author was Leo Tolstoy and to a bunch of 12-year-olds, calling your father by Tolstoy was just an extraordinary idea.
"The Marquess title would come as your father's own sort of humor when we approached him to add his name."
Iris thought on it for a moment, but it eventually seemed to make sense to her as she laughed lightly. Absently opening the map and following after all the names.
Remus sat back to watch, mind elsewhere, a frown finding a way to his already worn-out face, "Harry somehow got his hands on this, can't imagine what would happen if Sirius Black were to have this. Knowing where everyone is at any time…."
He shook his head, choosing a different line of discussion as he refocused on the girl before him, "So an eventful day, I reckon?"
Iris hummed, her eyebrows scrunching together, "Today has made me realize quite a bit."
Remus simply watched her, well aware that all she needed to continue was a moment to collect her thoughts. Remus had known Blackwells most of his life. He knew when to push, he knew when to be patient. He knew, and at that moment, he needed to be patient.
Eyes still wandering throughout the castle on the map, Iris licked her lips, "I'm used to being without friends. I mean, the only one I had growing up was Ryker…but I thought Hogwarts would be my chance to form more of a group, a unit.
She followed a boy named Roger on the map as he made his way outside, "I would start in first year, Ryker would be in his third. I would meet Harry, make another friend or two, and that would be that. I would have… people. And I do, I guess, but I came in so late to all these already built groups. Already complete groups…. I can talk to them, be friends, but there is still and always will be that barrier because I am an extra. Not needed."
Roger met up with a group by the lake; Iris's smile grew bitter, "Now I don't even have Ryker… not one person that I get to have my adventures with."
Iris allowed the room to lapse into silence as she switched attention to a girl named Susan. Remus sat back, mulling over how to best advise the girl before him… but it came easy. After all, he knew Blackwells, and more importantly, he knew Leonardo Blackwell and Remus would never be able to explain how much he was reminded of his old friend every time he looked at the girl before him.
"Your father, Leo. I don't know if he ever told you, but he struggled with friends as well," Iris didn't look up, but her head tilted. Remus smiled at that. "He was raised just as sheltered as you, probably more so. Hogwarts was his start entirely. And he made a few friends, but he never quite found his unit, as you say. Even when me, James, Sirius, and Peter started our first year… he was more of an older brother than really part of our group.
"Being a year older and in a different house put a barrier between him and us. He joined in on our adventures but had to go solo for his own adventures. Well, then Regulus Black started school. At first, he was just looking out for Sirius's younger brother, being they were both Slytherin. But eventually, Leo just found his own partner in crime. The two were inseparable most of the time until Leo graduated." Iris was now fully locked in on Remus, listening intently.
"And you know how much your father cared for Regulus. It's who you have to thank for your middle name." Remus paused, "Your father waited two years for a partner in crime. Yours will come. And you know, Nott really reminds me of Reg—"
Remus found himself cut off with a stern glare from Iris, laughing as he put his hands up in surrender, "Okay, still not talking about Nott."
~~~~~~
That night Iris would find herself making the most significant move she had made in the past few months, entering the library. The place she seemed to have the worst track record of good conversations in.
And she almost laughed out loud and turned to make her leave when she spotted Hermione Granger sitting at a table surrounded by books, but surprisingly Iris remained calm and collected. But maybe not so much of a surprise. This was turning into her longest day ever, and no one ever really is up for a fight when at the end of a never-ending day.
So surprising even herself, Iris did the unexpected and pulled out a seat beside the girl. Taking notice of the dark circles under her eyes and the hair that, while usually a mess, seemed somehow bigger.
Finding a gap in the towers of books surrounding the girl, Iris leaned back, "Time Turner not turning out to be all that great after all? You can turn back time yet still have no time to sleep."
Hermione jumped, so engrossed in… the history of the wizarding world's monetary system… that she failed to notice Iris on her own. Her eyes darted to the girl before quickly turning away, anywhere else. Not looking for another go at it with the Blackwell.
And as she had been doing all day, it seems, Iris watched her. Watched her fidget. Watched her glance back at her unfinished essay. Watched her frown as she grew more and more uncomfortable.
And so, Iris did the unexpected, "I know you know about Remus, him being a werewolf."
Hermione flinched back, face turning red, as she went to speak, "I swear I have never—"
Iris cut in, grabbing at one of Hermione's books, "I know. And I thank you for that. He doesn't deserve it. And so I also thank you for still respecting him, the books are biased against werewolves, yet you still are willing to be in the same room without so much as a second thought."
Hermione was taken aback, to say the least. Iris Blackwell extending an olive branch was not something she ever saw in her future. In fact, Hermione figured she would be painfully avoiding ever falling under the girl's gaze for the rest of her schooling years.
And maybe it was how casually Iris flipped through the book she stole from the stack, or how easy it seemed to breathe for the first time ever in her presence, or perhaps just the exhaustion, but Hermione couldn't stop herself from asking at least one question, "Do you miss Nott?"
Iris sucked in a breath, closing her eyes as someone finally asked the one question no one ever seemed to think of. Not a what or why, about something that Iris was rather happy not reliving but instead something more personal.
A question that doesn't just bring back a reminder of a fight. But also a reminder of… before, whatever that before was.
"I miss having someone. Theodore…" she shook her head, "Nott and I never really were all that close. Not truly… he was just… easy. He knows me. Never any secrets I had to hide from him. It was comfortable. But, honestly, it's all it ever was. Comfortable. He would have rather me with anyone else, and I only stuck around because I had no one else."
Hermione nodded, quickly returning to her essay, no follow-up conversation, just content to have her curiosity answered.
And perhaps, it was the long day, or how this was the first positive interaction between the girls, or maybe just the need to have someone else who knew, but Iris couldn't stop herself as she raised an arm.
"Accio." Hermione snapped her head up as a book flew into Iris's open hand. Watching as the girl glanced through a few pages of the black book, stopping on one as she smiled.
"I respect you, Granger. For asking questions and always wanting to learn more. And damn, you need a break from homework," Iris placed the book before Hermione, covering it with a hand as she explained further.
"You can't tell anyone anything you read in here. Not even Harry or Ronald, you will understand why. Anyways the reason you struggled to find my family in anything, anything important at least, is because we control our history." Iris moved her hand, allowing Hermione's eyes to read over the first lines.
Questions arose in her as she repeated a phrase, "Filii Lunae?"
Iris nodded, standing from her seat, "Children of the Moon," a look crossed Hermione's face as she looked up to Iris, "I trust that you will keep this a secret and allow me to continue to pretend to be a normal teenage girl. Just like how you allow Remus to be a teacher. You are pushy but not a bad person."
Iris walked away, leaving Hermione with all her secrets out on the table.
~~~~~~
Iris would return to the common room late that night, but she would not return so late that it was empty.
No, of course, because it just had to be the longest day in existence, she would have to look around the room to only lock eyes with Theodore Nott. The two would just stare for almost far too long of a moment. Nothing in them. There is no will to fight; both are ready to get some peace for the day.
So Iris would simply just drag her eyes away and vanish off to her dorm. Leaving Theodore Nott to simply move his attention back to the flickering flames of the fire.
Neither disturbed. Neither have to put themselves back in check. As there was nothing there….
Right?