I like to talk to myself, think to myself or whatever you want to call it. At times when my brain doesn't want to focus, talking to myself helps. It also does a lot to calm me down. Not much mind you, but enough till I can get far away from the people I want to punch. Ah I digress, where was I? Yes! Thinking to myself. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to help me much right now.

Right in front of me is a pink fluffy spherical creature. I’m not sure how else to describe it. It reminds me a lot of Jigglypuff from the cartoon Pokemon. A lot of people would call it cute, at least, till they saw its teeth. They are about as wide as its body and I can’t see any eyes nor nose on it. Jiggly, can I call you jiggly, defies common sense but hey when your whole mouth can extend to the size of your body (and when you're pink, fluffy and spherical to boot) I don't think common sense applies.

Where am I you ask? That's a good question my young imaginary friend. I am in fact on a tree, a large large tree. Climbing this tree took me quite a while and was the smartest thing I did as soon as I got here. Especially since I am most certainly more tender than the 10 foot rat, Jiggly is munching on. In fact, when I think about it, it's amazing I managed to climb up here with clothes a few sizes too large. Where's here you ask? Oh wow you're quite chatty today. And the answer is.... I have no idea.

While my internal monologue was going on, Jiggly, seems to have tired of eating ratty for it suddenly started bouncing towards the other end of the clearing. Quite rapidly I might add. Watching it bounce was was quite funny. It could bounce forward quite quickly and for a creature 5 feet in diameter and with no legs to speak of, I would say it was pretty damn fast. Fast enough to outrun me anyway. Did I say I was thankful I was on a tree?

Ah yes so if I have no idea where I am, how did I get here? That's the million dollar question.  There was no weird flashes of light, no magical voices, no awesome status bar floating around (how cool would that be).

~~ Ten minutes ago ~~

"Ahhh that was a relaxing sleep". I yawned out loud as I woke up. Stretching myself on the damp grass, I take in deep breaths of the fresh air as I massage my eyes open and take in the beautiful sight of white clouds overhead.

Today truly is a beautifu... WHAT THE HELL I screamed.

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In my mind of course, which normal person would do something so ridiculous as scream out loud. Fresh Air? Full Moon?? Grass??? Either I’m hallucinating, Inception is real or I’m no longer in my apartment. Slowly getting to my feet I take stock of my surroundings. In overly large pajamas, I find myself in the middle of a huge clearing ringed with large trees. I was quite close to one end of the clearing and I could just barely make out the trees on the other side. The first thing I noticed was how bright everything was followed by what I thought to be a rat in the distance. So ignoring the rat, I had better things to worry about, I patted myself down to try to make sense of what was going on. My clothes too big, check! no phone, check! no food, check! Stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing to eat... lovely. While I was taking stock of myself it seems the rat had noticed me. Soon I saw it racing towards me.

Weird, why would a rat run towards something ten times its size.

That’s when I started to notice the ground rumbling. I stared wide eyed as the rat became larger and larger and ... bloody hell that's a big rat… Seeing my end running at me woke me up fast and I ran to the nearest tree. I’ve never climbed a tree before but being chased by an oversized rat can help you learn really fast. One pull at a time I quickly scramble up the tree. I could almost feel the oversized rodent breathing down my neck. It took me a few minutes to get far up enough and I only stopped because my hands were shaking out of exhaustion. I wouldn’t want to fall down to my death after all this hard work right.

Wait can’t rats also climb trees.

Reaching the next branch, I hold onto it for dear life and turn around to see what the oversized rodent was doing. That’s when I noticed Jiggly… It was taking large bloody bites out of it.

~~ Present ~~

While I watched Jiggly run away with some amusement I felt the tree shake.

Oh God what now?

That’s when I saw it. A giant lizard with wings swooped down and swallowed Jiggly whole. I could feel the audible crunch as its giant mouth closed. A moment later it beats its wings, causing it to rise into the air. The wings caused a small gale to hit the trees and me alongside it. I closed my eyes and held on for my dear life. When I opened it, the lizard was gone, Jiggly along with it. The clearing was strangely calm. I would have felt that it was all a dream except I could still see the rat lying there in a pool of its own blood. Half eaten...

Sweat dripped down my back, I just stayed there dumbfounded. Pink fluff balls and giant rats were one thing, now I had a bloody reptile to worry about.

Oh man where the hell am I?