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Bolero of Justification's Shadow
Chapter 2: A Grandfather's Offer

Chapter 2: A Grandfather's Offer

“As I said before, I never forget a scent, and yours is one I’ll never forget,” says Upendo the king of the Teratolion with a slight smile curling upon his snout. He chuckles to himself which causes his hefty body and large batlike ears to jiggle, and the various fabrics draped from his crown and body to sway. The king is overjoyed to be in my presence, and Mlinzi guards the small room we find ourselves in.

Mlinzi ripped me from the roof I was laying on and forcefully guided me to this audience with king Upendo. He took me into the tunnels of the Western Mountain Halls and guided me to this small, secluded room that is sealed shut by a metal door and illuminated with golden glowing moss. I’m trapped, and I don’t know what is to happen next. I saved Upendo’s granddaughter from Gehenna, but I also faked my death and afflicted her with great emotional trauma, so that may be something that Upendo seeks retribution for. I did lie to a king and his princess after all.

The room is decorated sparsely. The floor is covered in a rug that Upendo and I sit upon and in front of both of us is a table that has a tapestry draped upon it. I eye Upendo up and down to see if he has any shred of hostility in him toward me, but only see an old man that is reclined in a relaxed position with a gentle smile on his face.

“Tell me boy, why the farce?” Asks Upendo leaning forward to take a better look at me.

I look away from the king and take a quick glance at Mlinzi who stands with his arms crossed, his long claws moving like a wave as he absent mindedly taps his fingers upon his biceps. I then return my gaze to the king and bow my head, “Upendo, I meant no offence. My life isn’t mine anymore, and so I followed the instructions of my master. My master feared for your kingdom’s safety and so he ordered me to fake my death for their sake.”

“Drop the formalities my boy. You are my kin and have sacrificed so much for my dear granddaughter. If not for this farce, you would have been my grandson, and I give you the opportunity now to come forward. Her engagement is still not finalized, and I’ll provide my support for you to be my precious granddaughter’s betrothed,” says Upendo with his hands outstretched. I look again behind me, and I see Mlinzi cast his hands to his sides. Mlinzi is shocked and I can see that the words of the king have made him extremely nervous, as I can see Mlinzi bare his teeth and grind them together as if he is trying to prevent himself from speaking.

I can’t help but mull over Upendo’s offer in my mind. This was the desperate desire of my heart, but I have long beaten that desire with the torment of the mortal price this desire could incur if I pursue it. I don’t dare match the eyes of the king and I bow my head further until it barely hovers above the table we sit at and respond, “I must refuse this kindness. Tell me sir, when did you learn that I was alive, and does Uzuri know?”

The king is shocked by my refusal as his maw opens revealing all his teeth to me. He tilts his head sideways and asks, “are you sure, my boy? I’ll risk my kingdom’s safety for the savior of my granddaughter and her happiness.”

“She’s already happy my liege,” I say, and I see droplets fall from my eyes onto the counter of the table in front of me, “I’ve seen how happy that Mul’Rensi makes her. I was her only friend and suitor before, and it brings joy to my heart that she has found someone that makes her genuinely happy.”

As soon as the words escape my lips I can’t tell if I’m lying to myself like I lie to others all to maintain the guise of Aeramen. More tears fall from my eyes as I feel my insides contort with feelings that are at war with each other. I feel the king’s long fingers caress my forehead as he lifts my gaze to face his. At this point I notice that I’m trembling, and my breathing is extremely uneven. I’m a nervous and emotional wreck before the king. To my surprise the king isn’t fazed by my disheveled and unceremonious appearance, as he moves his fingers below my chin and gently strokes the hair on my head with his thumb.

“Are you happy? Is this truly your decision?” Asks Upendo, and even though his eyes are covered in a long piece of fabric, I can feel his eyes stare into my soul. I’m not happy. I’ve done nothing but bite my tongue as the woman I love fell into the arms of another. I’ve been haunted by nightmares of those I’ve killed and through my decisions have guided to an early death. Now, I face the torture of the responsibility of a world of souls that I must judge worthy of life or destruction. Am I happy? I’m being swallowed alive.

I see Upendo stand up from the table and sit directly next to me and I feel his arms wrap around me. My head falls into the old teratolion’s shoulder, and I begin to weep. He pats my back and just permits me to cry. My parents are dead, Gareth is dead, Mary is dead, so many innocents are dead, and I was the spark that caused the wildfire that consumed their lives. The teratolion king breaks free of my embrace and takes a scroll from his robes and unfurls it on the table.

“What is this?” I ask looking at the contents of the scroll, and all I see are lines upon lines of what I assume is Teratolion script. The script is very jagged and linear in nature probably to imitate claw marks. The script also feels a little disjointed and disorganized, as Celandilic script has symbols that connotate where a word begins and ends, as well as marks that connect these separation marks to connotate punctuation. In fact, looking at the claw script I can’t tell if it’s meant to be read up and down or side to side like Celandilic script.

Upendo, with a tender hand runs his finger down the side of columns of text and finally says, “this is a list of almost every name that has fallen to my armies, and my own claw. To avoid ever thinking of my own people and my enemies as numbers, resources, or expendable tools for my use, I’ve recorded as many names as I can of those that have fallen under my rule. In that way, I never truly lose a thousand in battle, but Mojar, Mibilio, Tatun, Gareth, Marion, Turas… individuals with names that had families and friends. This scroll acts as a reminder that as a ruler, my choices have a weight that goes far beyond the tables of council and halls of my throne room. What I wish to impress upon you is that the weight never goes away, but how you carry that weight may justify or condemn you.”

“Why are you telling me this,” I say running my own hand across the list of names.

“My nose never lies, and I have been discreetly observing you,” says Upendo rolling up the scroll and replacing it within his robe only to remove another scroll, “Only one voice of dissidence graced the war council where Uzuri began her own list of names. That voice of discord was Aeramen, which reminded me of another who pleaded for those that weren’t his own but could very well if described by another man be his enemies. It was then I grew to believe that you were alive, but I needed to be sure. I watched you as you fell to your knees a broken man as you watched the claws and flames consume those you begged for. From that moment I knew you weren’t some Totalion half-blood, as only someone intimately aware of who these people were would be moved like that. A day after the cull of the Gehennan cult, I sent Mlinzi to tail you and we discovered you speaking with a floating staff that belonged to the hero of the valley, but we weren’t the only ones that made that discovery.”

I nodded in confirmation, as I realized the day Mlinzi discovered my secret, so did Ashe. She had similar suspicions to Upendo’s, as she had accompanied Esther the Unadeamy high matriarch and Stephen the Unadeamy chieftain to the war council in Lilith’s place. Lilith might be the high matriarch’s attendant, but she is pregnant and was ill the day of the war council, so Ashe stepped up to act as her replacement that day. Ashe heard my ignored appeal and watched me closely until she found me talking to Cran in the woods. I had her swear to me to keep my identity quiet, and from that day forward I gained a confidant. In fact, without her I’d be worse off than I am now and perhaps there would have been a second person swinging from the hempen desperation by the waterfall.

I watch as Upendo once again runs a reverent finger through names on the second scroll he had taken from the folds of his clothes. As he reads these names, I find it odd that this scroll has him more shaken than the last as he says, “you may wonder why I have two scrolls of names, and why I react differently to this one than the last. This scroll contains the names of those that died due to my negligence. Those that died of starvation, because I couldn’t develop supply lines or find ways to generate enough food to prevent inflation of the prices of necessities. These are also the names of those that died of dehydration, preventable plagues, and much more. These are the names of my shame, as I could have done more. It is a combination of both of the scrolls I perpetually carry that drives me to not only live rightly but do what I can to make sure that my people are on a trajectory toward better lives than yesterday. In this way I permit each of these precious names to justify me and carry me as much as I carry them. I know you blame yourself in part for the carnage that met your parents, Gareth, and the Gehennan, but let them inform your future actions so that the future is brighter than yesterday. Will you always succeed? No. But be confident in trying. We are people of power, and as such the burden is heavy, and we must always be aware of it, lest we forget it and fall into our own gluttony and pride and our deaths be met with the condemnation of those that claw at our souls.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I repeat, as I feel like I’ve met someone that shares in my pain.

The kindly teratolion puts an arm around me and says, “I’m closing in on the end of my reign and you are at the beginning of yours. I am a king of but one people of this world, and you are of the blood of gods, yet so young, inexperienced, and desperate for vindication. I see the burgeoning soul of a kind god king in you. I see a ruler that sees his subjects as sons and daughters. I offer my granddaughter’s hand in marriage to you as I feel that I can trust you with my throne one day. Of course, I would instruct you to prepare you for this future responsibility as one of your virtues is also a vice of sorts. So, what do you say? Come back to the land of the living and be the king I wish I could be.”

“Don’t you worry about the repercussions of this decision? Mul’Rensi the maharajkumar of the Eastern Dune Empire is going to propose marriage to Uzuri tomorrow. Wouldn’t this destroy any diplomatic relations we have with the Empire. Not only that, but the other teratolion kingdoms see the ‘gods’ very differently than your kingdom does. My marriage to Uzuri could start wars between us and those that are currently your allies!” I say using these words more to test to see if what Argentum said was true, as I want to know if he was manipulating me with lies.

The king with a deep sigh nods his head and says, “What you say is true. The Eastern Dune Empire believes the Celandil to be demons that mutated our people into odious beings damned to live underground to hide our hideous visage. The Southern Sultanate despise our creator and actively hunted celandil in hopes humanity would accept them, but alas due to the perceived curse of our creation they were rejected by humanity and feel that our creator defiled their chances for peace. If a celandil sat upon my throne, and not only that but the grandson of the celandil that made our race, in addition if said celandil disrupted the current negotiations of betrothal that could unite the northern kingdoms, the current rulers of the two other teratolion kingdoms would find this to be a betrayal of the highest order and they would do everything in their power to destroy my kingdom and put your and my granddaughter’s heads upon spits.”

“Then why do you want me to be king of your people?” I ask, pushing back once more against the king’s insane proposition.

“Because I know that you would prove my fellow rulers wrong, and that you’d make my granddaughter happy. Not only this, but I owe you immensely and desire to grant you happiness as well,” says Upendo and with a wave of his hand Mlinzi opens the metal door and in walks Uzuri.

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Uzuri looks at me and curtseys before taking her place at the table. She wears all manner of cloth adornments much like her grandfather, but unlike her grandfather she also wears several metal ornaments inlaid with all manner of jewels. Her eyes also are covered with a scarlet and gold head wrapping that is tied behind her head which stretches down to her feet.

“Grandfather, why have you summoned me at this time of night? My engagement is tomorrow, and I wish to be rested for the joyous occasion,” says Uzuri with a radiant smile on her lips as she nods respectfully toward both Upendo and me, “also, why is Aeramen here at this hour, is there some emergency that the totalion need to share with us.”

“I have news of Skath! He’s ali…” says Upendo excitedly and I interrupt him before he can continue.

I raise a hand toward Upendo and in a blind panic I begin to formulate a story. Every day I must lie to keep up the appearance of Aeramen and now I must lie again to protect Uzuri and her people, “I have found a journal belonging to Skath that contained a letter for lady Uzuri on the occasion that she was to be engaged to a man of her choosing.”

Upendo stares at me, his mouth opening slightly in surprise, but he permits me to continue speaking, “Lady Uzuri, Skath wrote as such: My dearest and beloved Uzuri, we have known each other for years and for years I have loved you. It is because I love you, I desire your happiness above all else. If you are reading this, it is because I am gone, and I apologize for any pain I have caused or will cause you. It hurts me deeply to write this letter, but at the same time I find joy in writing these words. Congratulations and may your heart be filled with joy and love forevermore. I may be gone but, I’ll always be with you, and I ask you to remember me by seeking a better world not only for yourself but for others as well. I couldn’t believe it when I was told you were a princess, so long ago, but I know you’ll be a ruler that will protect and serve not only her people, but all people. I hope the man you have found will be worthy of the queen you will become, and I hope he is a man that will strive for the happiness of your union. Thank you, my dear beloved Uzuri, for being a part of my life, for making me a better man, and for giving me purpose in the worst and best of times. Love is a word that is inadequate for my feeling for you, and I hope the man you found feels the same about you as I do. Congratulations my love.”

I hate how the words feel wrong coming out of my mouth. Something has changed, and it hurts. When I look upon Uzuri, I feel like I see boney hands crawl under her skin. I avert my gaze away from Uzuri, as my heart wrestles within myself. Love and something odious claw at me as I look at the woman, I once held above all. Did I truly know her, or did I know a desperate wall. We were children, desperate, surviving children, and now we are adults, scarred by pasts that are now taking us down drastically different paths, and the once frantic and undying romantic devotion is replaced by a love similar to a familial bond. She’ll always be a part of me, but now I feel in my heart I can let her go… but can I really? Yes, no… but yes all the same.

Then again, how is it I can let go of her like this? Why does this feel like she is being wrenched from me so quickly, and that I’m permitting her separation so willingly and without struggle? Bloody skulls of the damned laugh in my mind, reminding me of the why. Something has changed. No, we have changed. She is a queen that makes the terrible yet necessary decisions, and I am paralyzed by indecision and guilt. To free her, I have become entrapped in my own prison.

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” says Uzuri again nodding at me with her warm smile, a single tear rolling down her cheek, “It is good to know that Skath has blessed my future union.”

“I knew him but a short time, and in my brief time here, I do believe that he would be overjoyed at the bond you share with Mul’Rensi. I remember when you wouldn’t go a day without openly weeping for Skath, but when Mul’Rensi arrived he had a charm and wit that made you smile and laugh for the first time in what felt like eternity,” I say cracking a slight smile, “I still remember as he haphazardly juggled eggs to get a smile out of you, only to slip and fall into the mess he made.”

Uzuri chuckles softly to herself and looks down at her hands that were grasping one another, “Mul’Rensi used to try so hard, maybe a little too hard to get me to smile. He’s such a joker, but through the jokes he seeks genuine connections that are often out of his reach due to his face or rank. He’s been by my side teaching me about politics and guiding me through the world of royalty. When he said he would be returning to the Eastern Empire, I couldn’t imagine my life without him and so I asked him to take me with him. Every day I can’t but feel happy with him… oh, I’m sorry Aeramen, but you remind me of someone and for some reason I can’t help but overshare these things with you. Pardon my rudeness.”

“That is quite alright, princess Uzuri. Thank you for putting your trust in me to share such intimate details of your life. Perhaps this is a little early for this, but congratulations on your engagement,” I say bowing my head and I feel my eyes begin to water. My heart is still in chaos, but for some reason there is some silver lining to it. I thought I was letting go because I somehow hated her for her decision regarding the Gehennan, that I was letting go of her because of resentment but the reality is I’m relieved that she has found love again. I may not be entirely happy about her letting go of me or even that I’ve been replaced in her heart, but I am put at ease that her future is bright. The tortured thoughts of letting her go to quickly are replaced by the consolation that I can let go because she has found a good man to be with. This is exactly what I wanted for her, and maybe I can be happy because she is happy. Though, doubt still clouds my heart, as for years all I wanted was to be at her side. Mul’Renzi is truly a lucky bastard, and the thief of my dreams.

“Thank you Aeramen for delivering Skath’s message to Uzuri. Now my dear, please go and rest for your special day,” Says Upendo getting up from where he sat to help Uzuri rise from the floor. It felt like she left as quickly as she had appeared.

I look at Mlinzi and the anxiety he once radiated was replaced by an expression of relief as he stares at the ceiling giving a deep sigh. He must have thought he was going to war tonight. King Upendo had a profound smile on his snout as he nodded in deep thought. He again joins me at the table and puts his hand out as he says, “you will truly put others above yourself. For that a boon will be granted you not just by me, but by all the teratolion kingdoms!”

The table before us began to shake, rise, and move away from Upendo and I, revealing a now open trapped door hidden underneath it; the open trap door revealing a hole harboring two teratolion men. One of the teratolion I immediately recognize to be Mul’Rensi who’s face is blushing a bright red. Mul’Rensi has deeply tanned skin and despite being a half-blood like Uzuri his teratolion half is a tad stronger than his human half. He has a bit of a snout on him and dark hair. He wears a robe garment I believe he called a thawb in one of our conversations. The thawb is white in color with tan highlights and patterns decorating it and the thawb also has large sleeves that look like wings when he raises his arms. Mul’Rensi also wears a turban of sorts that covers his eyes and ears which is decorated in metal ornaments.

The other teratolion has a very light complexion and has hair that is a vibrant white color reminding me of snow. I’ve seen him nearly always accompany Mul’Rensi whenever Uzuri isn’t with him, but I’ve never picked up on his name. This teratolion wears a heavy looking shirt coat, that I think my father might have called a gambeson, as well as insulated leggings. Strangely this teratolion does not wear a head band but wears a sort of leather wrap that has two intricately made metal apparatuses that have small horizontal slits in them that cover the eyes of this teratolion. In addition, instead of having long dagger like claws to be used as a weapon, this teratolion wears a sword at his side. In fact, his claws are cut back much like Upendo’s claws.

“Mul’Rensi, and Elurretzapo, I believe Skath has proven himself to be a friend to all teratolion. Instead of choosing to gratify himself he chose to protect all our peoples from fighting amongst themselves. I know that he is a celandil and child of our creator, but I ask that you look past that for the virtue he displayed this night, and for the intrepid rescue of my granddaughter. I also ask Skath to forgive my deception, as I truly desired to help you on your future endeavors for my kingdom and the journeys your fate will foist upon you after you beg your leave of me,” says Upendo helping the two younger teratolion from the hole under the counter. I in my surprise nodded my forgiveness to Upendo and stared at the spectacle before me.

Elurretzapo sits down on the carpet that surrounds the trap door. Elurretzapo gingerly closes the trapdoor to prevent it from making a sharp sound, then looks at Upendo, then to Mul’Rensi and says, “I know my father the Sultan of the Southern Sultanate would have removed Skath’s head where he sits for even the accusation of his being a celandil, but to me the celandil have long been disposed of. What ills our people now are our current problems that should not be ascribed to what I consider to be myths and fairytales. If this ‘human’ has garnered your favor, I see no harm in making him a brother of the Sultanate. In addition, he didn’t get in the way of my blood brother’s engagement, and if anything has bolstered his confidence before tomorrow, so I can welcome him as a friend and brother.”

“Always so formal Retz. We are amongst friends so lighten up a little,” says Mul’Rensi with a dumb almost triumphant smile on his face as he joins us on the carpet, “so Aeramen is the infamous Skath. Funny to meet a dead man, funnier still that a supposed corpse will be a blood brother of the Empire soon. It’s hilarious that a celandil will be my brother as well. Hahahaha, I can only imagine my father’s face if you were to appear in the halls of our palace. It would be the joke of the century to witness my ol’ man squirm, because he couldn’t touch you as you’d have my protection. Also, thanks for your blessing, it means a lot coming from the man who in a sense quite literally died to bring Uzuri and I together.”

“So, we are in agreement? If this man seeks asylum at any of our kingdoms he will be greeted as a friend and treated like kin. I claim this man to be a blood brother and expect him to be treated as a brother,” says Upendo putting an arm around me. Upendo then looks at Mlinzi who brings an open hand to his face and then bows his head. Upendo smiles and whispers, “If I am gone and you return to the halls of the Western Mountain Halls, Mlinzi and his kin will ensure our brotherhood is respected.”

Mul’Rensi nods and brings his fist to his chest with an audible thump, “I swear that this man has my protection. The savior of my future wife and future rani of my empire will always have a home in the Eastern Dune Empire, and in my home he will find me as a brother.”

“The brother, of my brother, will always be my brother,” says Elurretzapo clasping his hands into fists and then slapping his wrists together in front of his face, only to have Mul’Rensi chortle a little at his side, “Why are you snickering at such a solemn oath.”

“I never thought the word brother could be used so many times in a single sentence. I’m sorry it’s just funny to me,” says Mul’Rensi giving Elurretzapo a playful punch to the shoulder.

With a sigh of exasperation Elurretzapo continues, “Pardon my blood brother’s rudeness. Seeing that you have restored the heir of the kingdom of the Western Mountain Hall and in turn have sacrificed your own gratification to prevent a potential war between the three teratolion kingdoms, and in a sense have brought Uzuri and Mul’Rensi together to help unify the Northern kingdoms as one, I cannot refuse you as a blood brother.”

“Now that we are in agreement, I bestow a sacred treasure upon Skath to mark you as our brother this day,” says Upendo, and from his various sashes Upendo produces a ring made of pure onyx that is engraved with intricately inlaid silver. On the ring I see three distinct yet stylized symbols, a mountain amidst fields of grass, a mountain covered in snow, a large tree, and a sand dune swept by wind. Upendo prompts for my hand and places the ring upon my finger.

“Hope you keep that safe, as that ring belonged to the first Earthen Lord before he split his kingdom between his four sons. It is a sacred symbol of teratolion unity,” says Elurretzapo staring at the ring reverently.

Mul’Rensi gives a half smile and again pounds his chest, “well brother, welcome to the family! If you ever have need of me, I will assist you in any way I can.”

“I should say now that the same goes for all of you. If you have need of me, I will help you the best I can,” I say now realizing that nearly everyone in this room is royalty of some sort. Only Mlinzi and I are lower born and to be sitting as an equal to these powerful men is a strangely terrifying realization to have. After making my statement I quickly attempted to bow to my superiors, only for Upendo to raise a finger to my forehead to prevent the gesture.

“What are you doing you idiot? Family never bows to each other. Keep your head held high, as you are our brother. The oath we just made is literal, not figurative. So, brother never fear being unequal to us,” says Mul’Rensi shaking his head with a joking smile upon his lips.

Upendo claps his hands and signals to Mlinzi, and he leaves us out of the metal door, “Now, my dear brothers, let us drink in celebration as not only has our family grown, but tomorrow is a joyous celebration of union!”

Mlinzi quickly returns with a small barrel and four golden chalices. Mlinzi pours golden mead into each of the four chalices which he then passes to each of us minding to serve Upendo first, and we drink the sweet yet complexly spiced mixture in solidarity of our future bond. The alcohol helps numb my internal chaos and despite the emotional storm of the night having my emotions and values tried in secret, I can’t help but enjoy the company of these three men that are now my brothers.