Today, I learned a very important lesson — trying to save a drowning girl when you can barely swim yourself is a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. As someone once said — you live, you learn. Though in my case “you learn, you die” would be a better fit. 

Brit, stop pulling me down, you damn idiot! This was the last thing I thought before water entered my lungs and I knew my life was about to end. I had been trying to help my crush, who had stayed underwater a tad too long after losing her foothold on the surfboard. I had been the closest to her and, apparently, the most stupid. In my defense, Brittany Fields was hot as heck, and she had already agreed to have a date with me next week. Not such a great prospect when you both are already dead, but still. 

Unlike what people said, I didn’t see my entire life flashing before my eyes. Only some of the most memorable moments — the visit to Disneyland with my parents when I was five, my first day at school, my tenth birthday party, my childhood crush rejecting my confession at twelve, me punching her boyfriend two years later…  Some were precious memories, and some I’d have rather forgotten. Like the day of the exams to finally get my Bachelor Degree in Graphic Design. Sure, I’d aced them just a week ago, but the memory still was almost as scary as realizing that I was in the middle of dying. 

I didn’t want to die. I wanted to get a girlfriend, a job, a family. I didn’t strive to become someone outstanding or to change the world. Just some simple happiness would’ve been good enough for me — playing video games, talking with friends, having sex with a lover, raising kids and taking care of my parents. But there was no way back now. A single moment of thoughtless heroism, and all my dreams and hopes no longer mattered. 

Some of the memories filled me with regret — those were things I’d placed to the corner of my mind. A guy I’d considered my friend back at high school. In reality, he was just using me to have an easier time with homework and exams, but I was too nice to tell him off. Hadn’t my first crush did something similar? She had used my good will to her advantage, only to tell me that we were just friends. And then she started to date a guy universally considered as a complete asshole. 

The last memory was of Brit giving me a flirty smile as she agreed to have dinner with me at the café nearby, her emerald eyes locked on me. Just when we were about to have some fun surfing with our mutual friends. I felt like that had happened forever ago, but in reality wasn’t it just ten minutes since then? I wasn’t truly in love with her or anything, just one of those fleeting crushes that maybe, just maybe, could develop into something more one day. And yet I didn’t even have time to hesitate when her life was in danger. Perhaps I was just an idiot. No one would call you a hero if you failed your attempt at heroics and threw away your life for nothing. It was honestly hard to think of a more lame way to die. 

Now that I had a look at my life as a whole, I realized my problem, the one that lead to my current predicament — I was too nice to others. I trusted people too much just because they showed me a bit of goodwill… That was a rather useless realization, considering how late it was. If only I had another chance, I wouldn’t be Mr. Nice Guy anymore…

The next thing I knew was me flying through the tunnel towards a source of light. I didn’t have a body and my mind was blank, and yet my consciousness continued to exist. At that moment, time didn’t exist, and I had no idea how long it was until I reached the end of the tunnel. And what greeted me instead of an angel or God was an eye. A freaking big, shining eye with a black hole serving as a pupil and countless galaxies revolving around as an iris. As for the whites of the eye, I could only describe them as boundless white void. 

The sense of unspeakable terror and helplessness incomparable to the one I’d felt while dying, overwhelming my entire existence. Or perhaps non-existence, considering that I had no real physical form. If that was just an eye, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how the entire existence would look like. I hoped to never learn that. 

“PASSABLE,” reverberated the voice that didn’t sound like anything I’d ever heard. Genderless, calm and sublime, it had unlimited depth and echoed infinitely through the surrounding space. 

“YOU SHALL SERVE MY GOAL WELL ENOUGH, MORTAL,” the voice declared and, to my unspeakable relief, I found myself away from that strange Galactic Eye. Instead, I found myself surrounded by darkness, with a blue game-like screen being the only thing before me. 

Welcome to the Character Creation Screen, Traveler. Confirm to proceed.  

At that point, my mind recovered some of its facilities and, though still confused about the unexpectedly developing situation, I at least could think properly. And having thoughts meant that I still existed, which was good news. 

This sounds suspiciously like something from an RPG, I noted as I read the text. Confirm, I guess. 

The screen reacted to my thoughts and new text floated before me. 

To create your Character, please answer some questions and make some simple choices. 

Okay. 

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Are you a good person, Bobby? 

Yes, of course I am! I thought without hesitation, not missing the fact that somehow my name wasn’t a secret to whatever what was asking the questions. 

Okay, Bobby. I believe you. For now. 

Seriously? What the heck, for some reason I feel judged just from some damn holographic text. 

A girl you like is about to drown, will you try to save her even if it puts your own life at risk, knowing that the chance of success is very low? 

What a silly question, I thought, of course no! I wouldn’t do something so stupid ever again. I already died one time too many. I’m done sacrificing myself for others. 

Is that so? And what if it wasn’t just one girl? Would you sacrifice yourself to save a million people, Bobby? A million strangers, some of them would be children and elderly. And some others would be criminals and dicks. 

That question made me pause. Sure, I’d decided to stop being Mr. Nice Guy, but that kind of situation was a tad bit too extreme for me, someone who’d considered himself a good person all his life and still did. 

Wait, what if I die for real if I choose to sacrifice myself? I thought with apprehension. What if this isn’t a hypothetical situation, just like the one from the second question? 

Don’t worry, that’s just a question to ascertain your alignment. And you’ve already answered it, “good person Bobby”. 

Huh. I frowned with my non-existent brows. Was it a trick question or something? 

There’s a train barreling down the railway tracks… 

Oh shit, I know where this is going… 

Ahead, on the tracks, there are five people tied up and unable to move. The train is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the train will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track as well. What will you do, Bobby? Will you just let things be, holding no responsibility for your inaction, or will you choose to kill one person to save five? 

That was your good old “Trolley problem”, something I was familiar with from my lessons on philosophy. That problem didn’t really have the right answer, but somehow a certain video from the internet came to my mind. There, a 2-year-old “solved” it by playing with a toy railway and toy people. He just moved the one person from the second set of tracks to the first one… You’d think, “what a smart and gentle child”, right? And then he took the train and crashed it into all six people at the same time and said “Uh oh”. That was so damn funny… 

Your answer is accepted. 

Wait, what?! I exclaimed in my mind. Are you kidding me? That was just me remembering a funny video, that wasn’t my answer! And what the heck, you shouldn’t count answers that don’t follow the established rules, anyway! 

You will make such a wonderful True Demon, Bobby! I’m proud of you, really! 

What, a demon, me?! I really felt wronged on so many levels. I told you, I’m a good person! Even if I decided to stop being too nice, I’m still not some sort of villain, you know?! 

Next we will choose your specialization… 

C’mon, don’t just ignore me! At least make me a dragon, or a vampire. Being a demon doesn’t sound fun at all! 

What you like more, water or fire? 

Realizing that my fate was already sealed, I could only reluctantly continue the questionnaire.

I died from the water, so let it be fire. 

Earth or air? 

Earth, like the planet?

Like the substance. 

What, am I being questioned about the elements of my magic?

Something like that. 

Then let it be the earth element. It should fit better with the fire one… 

Choose one of the following: Might, Health, Acuity, Wealth, Intelligence, Creativity, Authority, Faith. 

That was a strange one. Each word represented some kind of concept that could be very different for each person. And the text didn’t elaborate at all. 

Can you give a hint, pretty please? 

This choice will determine your future talents. 

That was something worth careful deliberation. I knew nothing about my “next life” other than the fact that whoever was sending me those texts decided to make me into a demon. And what demons need the most? “Might” was the most obvious answer… If my new world was anything like my own, people wouldn’t be very kind to those called demons. And so I would need power to protect myself. But… 

Wouldn’t “Acuity” help me find the potential dangers? And wouldn’t “Wealth” help me hire people to do my bidding? With “Intelligence” I would always find a way to outsmart my opponents and, perhaps, it would make me a powerful mage. With enough “Authority” even those who hate me should obey. And who knew what “Faith” did? Maybe it would give me some sort of divine protection… a demon hoping for divine protection? Ha-ha… 

“Health” and “Creativity” seemed to be the most useless, but I had too little information even with the “hint”. But now that I thought about it, wouldn’t someone creative find a way to earn his wealth? And with the wealth came both power and authority. Creativity also allowed a person to think outside the box, thus winning even those more intelligent than them… Was I overthinking it? But I’d spent the last few years of my life exactly at improving my creativity, so, if I was going to choose blindly anyway, wouldn’t choosing something most familiar to me be the right decision? 

I choose “Creativity”. 

What an interesting choice for a Demon. A very rare one, indeed.

As I said, I’m not a bad guy!

But not a nice one, either. At least not anymore, right? Remember, being too good can and will get a demon killed. Trusting the wrong person — and in some circumstances there are no “right” people — can and will be the last thing you ever do. 

I already don’t like what you’re implying… Won’t I have other demons on my side? 

Will you trust a demon? Even if you’re one yourself? Don’t be foolish, Bobby. But “Creativity”, huh. We will watch your career with great interest… 

Are you already treating me like the future Dark Lord?! 

The last text I saw was:

We wish you good luck, Traveler. You will need all of it. 

And then I blacked out for real. When I awoke, I found myself in a  new body. An amalgam of sensations assaulted me, and before I opening my eyes, I focused on the sounds. The chirping of the birds, the swaying of the grass, the distant murmur of the waterfall, and… the crying of a little girl just a feet away from my still lying body. 

I had no idea what was going on, but I was about to find out.