Stanwell, Middlesex, England. 1987.

A bowl of Angel Delight, three gobstoppers, a family bag of Gummy Bears, two snack sized Bounty bars, all washed down with several swigs from Grandads Guinness draft and a can of Cream Soda. This had led to near toxic E number concentrations in Daniel's body. Laying bloated on his bed, sweating as his brain and heart worked to restore bodily chemistry back to pre-lunch normalcy, he pondered what might be for dinner, hoping his father had planned a mighty toad-in-the-hole to round off a successful days gluttony. His sister Louise was in much the same position in her room, polaxed and greasy. Unable to hear one another, they groaned simultaneously and thought joyfully about the freedom of the summer holidays and how little parents in the 80's cared about what neon foodstuffs were beginning the work of a future pancreatic collapse. Their bodies, fighting to expel the excess glucose, prompted both to drain their water bottles, then an hour or so later, their bladders.

Ladies first, as dad always demanded, leaving Daniel outside the bathroom, hopping and kneebending up and down the hall, waiting for what seemed like an age before Louise emerged looking about ready for round two of fluorescent food gourmandism. Daniel went in next, a seemingly never-ending stream with an alarming blue tinge. After washing his hands and splashing some water on his face, he felt great again and exited to find Louise waiting. She was wafting her hands in the air, taking in the dinner smells. The aromas of sage and pork could only mean one thing, a glorious toad-in-the-hole. They both rushed downstairs.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Shane, the youngest of the three children, emerged from his room on a mission and with all the swagger you would expect from a toddler. Determined to not drop any of the rabbit figurines from his Sylvanian Families cottage set, he rolled his tongue around his lips and slowly made his way to the bathroom with single-minded determination. His goal, to throw those naughty rabbits into the toilet. Ignoring the blue vapour already whisping around the bathroom, he dropped the first rabbit in. A hissing sound stopped him from throwing in the second, then the violent bubbling shocked him backwards and off his unsteady feet. From the toilet he saw a set of blue ears emerge, then the top of a head, then half the creatures eyes. It spoke in a gravelly Texan accent.

'What's the matter? You act like you've never seen a blue rabbit soaked in toxic piss before.'