Eskal and I stopped at another shop before we left the market, where I bought two extra sets of clothing that only cost around two dozen copper pieces. He had purchased something as well, but I didn’t bother asking what.
We wandered further into the city, in the opposite direction of the sea. There were many streets dedicated to people selling their wares. Churches of various gods were scattered about, and those areas were always quieter than others.
The first one we passed, Eskal told me, was dedicated to Fevdohr. He said it was best to avoid his followers since they were all fanatics. It only made me think of Davion.
To the west of the city—the side opposite where I entered—were crop fields and farms. Eskal said that only the work of those holding water skills kept things growing in this desert.
Homes made up the majority of what was left of the city, and the castle grounds and army barracks made up the rest. Eskal had pointed them out as we walked, but we had avoided the area. He advised me to do the same in the future.
It had grown cold once we returned to Lifdol’s building, infrequent drops of rain landing on my skin like bullets. Eskal bid me farewell, and I made my way to my room. The remaining money and new clothes went into a drawer of the dresser, and the knife went on top of it.
The next day had me knocking on the door of Lifdol’s office, filled with reluctant resolve. I needed answers, and I needed to move forward.
Lifdol took his time, long enough for me to assume he was somewhere else, but the door eventually swung open.
“If it isn’t my favorite blind person!” If I’d had eyes, I would’ve rolled them. “Come in, come in.” I followed Lifdol back inside his office, listening to him walk around his desk and take a seat. A few steps forward had me finding my own.
“So, what do you want?” the man asked me. Straight to the point this time.
“I need training. Mostly in using mana, but also in fighting.” I’ll die if this goes on any longer.
Lifdol hummed. “You seemed pretty skilled, given Eric’s practically melted body.” That confirmed he had seen what I’d done to his arm, and I shifted in my seat.
“That was mostly instinct and brute force. I know nothing about magic besides what I taught myself—if it can even be called teaching.”
“...how is that even possible? Where did you grow up, at the bottom of a well?”
“I’m not from here.” Lifdol snorted.
“That’s obvious.” He sighed. “Fine, if you don’t want to tell me, don’t tell me.” His fingers started to incessantly tap a rhythm on the desk. “I don’t really have any experts here, but I’m close with a man who owns a training den. Not really what you’re looking for, though,” he muttered, seemingly to himself.
The tapping abruptly stopped. “I’ve got it,” Lifdol exclaimed. “There’s an institute that teaches all the rich fuckers how to use mana. No way would they let you in, but I know one of the instructors personally. She owes me a favor,” he chuckled.
I leaned forward—this sounded promising. Lifdol gave it up so quickly, however; I hadn’t expected that.
“You’ll have to pay her, of course. But I don’t expect her to charge more than one gold piece per session. You can use the money I so graciously gave you.”
“That’s fine. Thank you,” I told him.
“Don’t thank me yet. I’m using up a favor, and those aren’t cheap. I’ll get the where and when settled, but now you owe me,” Lifdol said, voice low and much more severe than it usually was. There’s the cost I was expecting.
“Just add it to my debt,” I suggested.
“Oh, no. Favors are worth much more than simple business transactions. I’ve got an inkling that this will greatly help your future self, and that’s something you can’t put a price on.” His chair creaked. “You owe me, and I will collect.”
***
Her name was Theresa; a man who worked for Lifdol led me to her home. It lay past the castle in a quiet neighborhood near the western wall.
The door was opened without a word, and I was quickly shuffled in before it slammed shut. The room smelled faintly of grass and rain, with that herbal smell of melted wax.
“He didn’t say you’d be blind,” Theresa told me bluntly, moving deeper into the building. I pegged her at around fifty. “What use does a blind man learning magic have?”
I shrugged. “You don’t need to see to have mana.”
“Fair enough.” Chair legs dragged across the ground, the scraping noise particularly jarring in the quiet house. “Sit there,” she told me and another chair was dragged over.
With a sigh, Theresa sat. “Now, give me your hands.” I held them out, and she took them, palms as callused as my own.
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My skin began to prickle uncomfortably from whatever she began to do. Theresa tsked, holding for a little longer, then she pulled away. I let my hands fall to my thighs.
“Your mana pathways haven’t even been open, and it seems like magic has been practically forced through your body. It causes damage every time you use a damn skill—I can feel uncontained magic just floating around wherever it wants!” She scoffed, chair creaking. “It’s probably only thanks to Lifdol’s healer that you haven’t been burnt up from the inside.”
Some of what she said flew right over my head, but I knew it wasn’t good. “Can it be fixed?” I asked.
“Fixed? It shouldn’t have been a problem in the first place! It’s like you’ve just popped into existence and been forced to adapt to magic, and it’s not going well,” Theresa hypothesized. She definitely wasn’t far off.
“I only gained skills a couple of months ago. I’m unfamiliar with everything, and it’s hard to explain why.” I didn’t want to get further into detail than that.
“I won’t ask you to explain; I’m only here to teach you, not interrogate you,” she sighed. “But since you’ve been using skills, you’ve sensed the mana core inside you, yes?”
“For me, it’s more like a pool,” I explained.
“Good gods—just like a child. Alright, the first step is condensing all that power you have inside into a ball. You need to contain it, and control it. All that mana floating inside you needs to be drawn in and encased in a protective shell.”
Theresa told me to visualize it in my mind, so I focused, searching for that place I only saw when I used a skill. It wasn’t a clear picture, but I could sense it.
It had never been like a pool of water—it was something denser, something darker. I could see it better now as I paid more attention to it, and the wild nature of it was almost shocking.
Swirling pieces escaped from the main reservoir every second, dispersing throughout my body. Nothing was there to stop it, and now that I had awareness, I could tell it was wrong and dangerous.
“Now, pull all those escaped tendrils back to the main body,” Theresa told me. Her hand had ended up back on mine, and I wondered what type of skill she had to see what she did.
I attempted to direct all the loose mana back to where it came from, and I found it was similar to when I used mana to summon flames, making the process easier. It was just done in reverse, and at times it felt like my palms were heating up in anticipation.
Pieces kept escaping, slipping from my hold like water unavoidably seeping out of my cupped hands.
I eventually managed it all, and everything was pulled back to the source at the center of me. I didn’t know how much time had passed, and beads of sweat rolled down my temples.
[Intelligence +1]
The message almost broke me from my concentration, but I gritted my teeth and pulled the unraveling strands back in.
“Good, very good. You must keep it together until the barrier forms naturally. If something slips out, don’t worry. But you must bring it back in as soon as possible,” Theresa told me, withdrawing her hand.
“I have to stay like this?” I gritted out.
“Yes. It gets easier with time, but every child goes through this. Granted, their stores aren’t as large, but your control is better. Usually, it would take a day at least to draw in all the escaped mana that has accumulated since birth,” she reassured.
I furrowed my brow. “I thought you said all the loose mana was damaging me.” It didn’t make sense if that was the case for people born naturally in this world, since I doubted a child could survive the burning feeling I had experienced the past two weeks.
“That doesn’t cause the damage—you using skills without a core formed causes damage. After it is fully solidified, natural mana pathways will attach to it. They’re like a river drawing from a lake,” Theresa explained. “These pathways are equipped to transport mana, and it won’t wreck your insides like it has up until now.”
It was a struggle to focus on both Theresa’s words and on keeping all my mana together. It was an endlessly moving mass of power; even if it was mine, it seemed to think independently. However, my limbs almost felt lighter, and my lungs felt clearer. I didn’t know if I was imagining it, but it was like I had been weighed down by sludge and only knew now that it was gone.
“It’s been quite a few hours. You better get back before the night patrol sees and questions you for being out so late,” Theresa told me. I stood, and she did as well. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a gold piece from the three I had left. Handing it to Theresa, she thanked me and ushered me to the door.
Pulling it open, she all but shoved me out. “I don’t want to see you again until your core is formed. There’s nothing else I can help you with until it is.” She ended with a curt goodnight, and the door closed before I could respond.
I remembered most of the way back, but I wanted to use [Map Line] to make it quick. However, I decided not to, unsure if it would mess with the mana I was barely holding together. Just walking and controlling it was difficult; I didn’t want to discover how hard using a skill simultaneously would be.
Every step I took seemed to be accompanied by a wisp of mana escaping from my hold. I would immediately draw it back in, but it was a struggle. I didn’t know how Theresa expected me to keep it together as I slept. Such a thing seemed impossible.
Perhaps I just wouldn’t sleep and see how it was in the morning. Concentrating on holding my mana together would keep me up anyways.
Returning had taken much longer than the trip to Theresa’s house, and I was sweating despite the chill that had permeated the air.
[Intelligence +1]
Another, it seemed. Perhaps gaining intelligence had to do with the training of mana and magic. It made sense why the stat hadn’t increased until now since Theresa had said I’d been brute-forcing skills instead of correctly using them. It was probably thanks to a miracle and my title that [Summon Flame] had gotten to level three.
After closing the door to my room, I fell onto the bed, not bothering to change. I would just keep sweating from the exertion anyways.
Focusing on the swirling mass of power inside me, I wondered what shape the barrier would take, if one at all. Possibly a sphere, or maybe a cube.
The color of my mana fascinated me. It was so dark but not quite black. I couldn’t place it. Sometimes, a wave would burst like a flaming firework, sending light through the rippling mass. So much motion and light when the rest of the world was dark and still.
I could get lost in the endless churning, the power almost seething at being contained. I felt some regret at not looking closer before—for not trying to understand it on my own. However, a guiding hand would help immensely and ensure I don’t make any mistakes.
All night I laid there—minutes passing like hours—keeping errant strands from escaping until it was almost second nature.
[Intelligence +1]
A smile curled my lips. It was like whatever gave these points was making up for all the time I had spent clueless about how to control what practically lived inside my body. However, I still didn’t understand it and would most likely never know where it came from and how.
But I didn’t need to understand; I only needed to know how to use it. The priest agreed, and he stood watch in my peripheral vision the entire night, pleased with my efforts. He seemed to sense something that I couldn’t, whispering about how so much would change because of this.
About what we could become.