Reporting

Sulfurous eyes gazed unblinkingly out at yet another inferno, though one notably less demonically tainted. Metallic teeth parted with a tearing sound, allowing a long black tongue to slide out and taste the agony in the warm air. A sound akin to a metallic cat in a meat grinder emitted from the living defilement of reality and echoed off walls that weren’t there, sounding somehow vaguely pleased for all the noise would rend the sanity of any foolish enough to try and interpret it without sufficient strength of will.

The thing that might charitably be called a creature’s eyes never closed as it drank in the miserable death surrounding it, staring unerringly into the fire and studying the scene. Eyes that saw the world in ways no mortal of sound mind could ever understand analyzed the events before it, took in details indescribable to anyone sane, and began to understand. In its twisted facsimile of a mind, squiggly lines began connecting triangular dots in a twisted tapestry.

A sound somewhere between the laughter of an empty tomb and broken glass raking across porous metal sounded out from the sharply dressed heinous violation of existence for a moment before it disappeared as if it had never been there.

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Making my way back to base with a fire raging behind me wasn't all that much more difficult than leaving had been, though I did take care not to be spotted or head directly there just in case. I took a circuitous route, taking unnecessary turns and jumping fences but never going anywhere that looked risky or picking any fights; for as little as I like this band of misfits and murderers I’ve found myself apart of, I didn’t want to accidentally lead anything back to base. I was far too weak at the moment to willingly invite that kind of avoidable risk into my life.

Even with my serpentine route, I reached the base relatively quickly. For a moment I stood in the shadow of an alley across the street, debating whether or not to try sneaking in before sighing and deciding to go in the front door; awkward and unpleasant as it may be to deal with, it would be better to go through "official" procedure than to be mistaken for a hostile invader if I get caught trying to sneak in.

The specific knock required to be allowed entry had been amongst the last things Rokharth had taught me, likely as much out of carelessness as to keep me from running off and telling any rivals knowing him. The… creature guarding the gate didn't seem remotely surprised to see me despite the fact he should have had no way of knowing I had left. Its yellow teeth gleamed in the dim light of the entryway, "Ah, da lil’ ratty returns.”

I kept my snarl behind my teeth with an exercise of will, “Yeeeessss. Here. I. am.” The words slithered through my teeth, barely containing the malice within them under a thin layer of tired dramatics.

The cretin’s snaggle-toothed smile grew slightly wider, “Eh, well at least tha’ ol’ vampire’ll be ‘appy ta see ya didn’ try ta run off an’ waste all all dat trainin’ ‘e done ya.” My eyes narrowed ever so slightly at his phrasing, but I decided not to openly challenge his estimates of my ability to escape nor bring up the implications therein. I already knew they weren’t likely to let me go; recruiting me at gunpoint didn’t send a particularly nuanced message, but it was remarkably clear. Besides, I’d have to be particularly dim behind the eyes to think anyone, let alone a murderous band of demon worshippers and criminals, would spend weeks training someone and not expect a return on that investment.

I slid my grimace neatly into a polite smile I had spent months perfecting in a mirror in my past life; though, by the way the man shaped creature’s void like pupils narrowed and their own smile grew strained, I got the feeling it didn’t sit well on my new face. “And where is the boss, currently? I’m sure he’d like to hear my report as soon as possible.” I wasn’t actually sure this loose band of marauders were actually organized enough to have official mission reports, but I was decently sure Markus would want to know about the pillar of flame that shook the city.

Their uneasy expression faded into a half-lidded and deeply unsettling grin, “Well, where else would ‘e be den ‘is office?”

I sighed out a laugh, “Yes, I suppose that would make sense, wouldn’t it?”

The yellow eyed cretin giggled, a sound wholly unsuited for coming out of such a decrepit and malodorous creature. "Aye, well den it's a good t'ing ya asked me den, yah? 'Cause 'e's not in 'is office at da moment." He grinned, an expression somehow both eminently smug and wholly lacking in guile, "Da Boss is with ol' Roky, ova'seein' some rookies bein' trained down in da gym."

I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath through my nose to keep my irritation from sparking off into violence. Part of me was curious as to how exactly he knew that -I would think a mere guard would not be kept informed of the boss’ itinerary- but I decided to shelve that thought for the moment. My grit teeth clicked across one another into a mockery of a smile, "Thank you." My voice came out sounding something akin to the auditory equivalent of rotting sugar, the underlying droning of flies that lurked behind my every word only emphasizing the saccharine yet fetid sound. The hunched cretin merely laughed and waved me through the door.

I hurried past them as quickly as I could without outright sprinting away, eager to be free of their presence and get my report in; if only so I could get to sleep, though something in the back of my mind told me I might not be so lucky. Tunnel Sense and a general familiarity with the building made finding which "gym" the yellow eyed heathen had meant not too difficult a task; though, the loud sounds of pained exertion and flesh hitting wood as I grew near certainly didn't hurt, of course.

I slid silently through the partially opened door to the gym, finding a large group of thuggish looking men in various states of sweaty and bruised misery. They were evidently sparring, using barely padded wooden rods in the place of swords to batter each other around while Rokharth made disparaging comments to a smirking Markus. The bossman himself was -as he seemingly was always wont to be- smoking a cigar while occasionally barking orders at the men beating the shit out of each other for his amusement.

I slid in next to Markus, clearing my throat and sending the flies within into a tizzy to draw attention to myself. Rokharth didn't so much move as appear beside me, his hand ruffling the fur on my head and laughter slithering through his teeth, "Well well, seems our wayward enforcer has come home at last." I kept my expression even, ignoring his mocking tone and demeaning gesture with literally practiced ease.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Markus smirked around his cigar as he took a long drag, his voice coming out smoothly alongside a cloud of foul smelling smoke. “My, and here I had almost thought you weren’t coming back. I presume you know something about the wildfire that ripped through a portion of my territory not too long ago?”

I smiled, taking care to keep the nervousness I felt from showing on my face as Rokharth appeared behind Markus. “It’s actually a rather funny story, if you ask me; I’m sure Rokharth will enjoy the part where I almost killed myself.” The way his grin stretched almost unnaturally wide told me I was right on the money on that one. “I watched those dipshits you sent me to make an example of for a while and made sure there was no one watching before I dealt with them. High as they were, I doubt they even realized what was happening before it was over. After searching their stuff -all garbage, by the way- I spent a few moments setting up some impromptu pike substitutes.”

I deliberately scratched the back of my head, “Then I realized I wasn’t strong enough to pick up two grown men and throw them onto my makeshift pikes, so I spent a few tiresome hours making them… lighter.” As I spoke, I gesticulated a vague pantomime of stabbing and carving before shrugging, “After that it came down to figuring out how to set them alight; which, as you can probably guess, is when I made a rather substantial mistake.”

Here, I sighed in only slightly played up self recrimination, watching the flies that flowed out with my breath buzz about to distract myself from the raised eyebrow on my boss’s face and the quiet but incessant laughter emanating from the ancient monstrosity next to him. “Having only just been taught the most basic of basics on a few runes, I made the, in hindsight, incredibly stupid decision to make the fire rune with the left over guts and limbs and general viscera I had lying around.”

Rokharth exploded into laughter before I could continue, his body visibly shaking from his booming cackling as he bent over backwards. Markus sent his head assassin an amused look before gesturing for me to continue, though I noted he took a particularly long sip from his glass as he did so. “Well, I can see he already knows where this is going, but for the record; yes, it did indeed, explode.” The ancient vampire’s cachinnations only grew louder at that, though I continued to ignore him as ordered. “The moment I finished putting the various disparate pieces of what I might generously call humans into proper shape, it did not, as I had expected, burst into flames. No, it instead erupted into a gigantic pillar of insanely hot fire and sent me flying across the street, into a different alley.” I spread my arms out, “So there’s your explanation for the fire; Rokharth didn’t tell me what to expect from using human flesh, and that lack of explanation got a number of buildings burned down.”

Rokharth’s laughter cut off instantly when my deflected blame landed on him, though I kept talking before he could break the sudden and deafening silence his chuckling left behind. “More interesting than my admittedly rather large fuck up, however, is what I found on my way back. Sitting in an alley that very much belonged to us, was what my limited knowledge of our enemies told me was a member of a rival gang lurking outside a building that seemed to have been on fire before my pillar of fire went off; by his outfit, I’d say he was a member of the Eight Points Gang, but I couldn’t be sure.” I was sure, of course, but I wasn’t willing to admit how I knew. From the few interactions I’d had so far, I got the impression that Observe wasn’t as common as I would have expected; in fact, I hadn’t seen anyone mentioning it or acting in a manner congruent with possessing such an ability.

There was no way in hell I was going to be revealing an advantage like that if I could avoid it.

Markus straightened up the moment those words left my mouth and even Rokharth seemed to be paying full attention, though his smile only slightly faded. The gang boss’s smirk was well and truly gone, “What did he look like, describe him in detail.” His voice brooked no argument, this was not a question but a command.

I nodded, standing a little straighter myself. “He was about six foot, maybe a little less. He had pale skin and long, messy brown hair; it might have been kinda oily, but I’m not certain of that. His eyes were bright blue and almost feverishly bright; it may have been the fire all around, but I’d almost say they had an unnatural light to them. He looked generally unkempt…” I closed my eyes, immersing myself in the memory of the moment as I tried to recall it as best I could. “He was wearing a coat made of what looked like leather that hung down to just above his knees, though I couldn’t make out what colour it was under layers of old stains and grime.” I licked my teeth as I pictured the scene, “Hmm, I think he was wearing a hat, or at least there was one laying nearby after he stood up; a bowler hat if I recall, either black or a very dark red, with a crimson sash just above the lip. Oh, and he was wielding a crude looking blade; something vaguely like a long and slightly curved cleaver, though it looked like he had barely ever maintained or sharpened it.”

Rokharth clicked his tongue, “That sounds like Merthoux, which sounds like trouble to me; that maniac doesn’t hold much respect for us or his boss, but he’d never so flagrantly violate our borders on his own initiative.” He tapped his foot, glancing at Markus’ expression for a moment before turning back to me, “You said the building he was outside of was already on fire before your little accident, yes?”

I nodded, “It was a mostly brick building, but it collapsed shortly after the fire started. It didn't appear to be on fire from the outside, at least not to the extent that would explain it falling over like it did. I didn’t think much of either it or the man outside it at the time, but on my way here I realized how suspicious they both were.”

Markus took a long and slow hit from his cigar, setting his drink down on a nearby pile of weights. He leaned his head back, letting a cloud of smoke seep out between his teeth as he crossed his arms over his chest, "An Eight Points lieutenant, lurking outside a building just before it collapses, inside our territory. It barely even matters what they were doing or why, the mere fact they did it in my territory is grounds for retribution. Though, I will send some men out to pick over the ruins, see if they can find any sign of what they were up to just in case it could come back to bite us."

Rokharth hummed, turning to the group of mooks still busily training in the center of the room, "Alright, all of you dipshits can fuck off back to your barracks." A moment passed where they all glanced amongst themselves, drawing a clicking growl from the old monster, "Are your fucking ears defective? Can you blithering morons not understand me?! If you dumbshits aren't out of my sight in the next thirty seconds, I'll cut those useless ears off your thick fucking skulls!" He punctuated his roaring command by aggressively pointing a long, bone white blade at the exit.

Thickheaded they may have been, that message managed to get through to them and sent them scrambling to stow their shit and go. I watched the wave of sweaty, bruised men in mild amusement for a moment before turning my gaze back to my current employers.

Markus blew a puff of smoke through his nose with a sound that wasn't quite a sigh, "Alright, let's move this discussion to my office; I trust my security team, but I trust myself a lot more." His goggled eyes flicked to me, "If you've got anything else to report, save it until we get there." Without another word, he turned and strode towards the exit. Rokharth sent me a mocking grin and gestured for me to follow, but didn’t bother to wait for me to comply before falling into step behind his master.

I strangled a sigh, tilting my head back to send a tired glare at the ceiling -so much for a good night’s sleep- before hurrying to follow them out into the hall.